What to do With Desire

Glorifying God in Your Body

Text: 1 Corinthians 7:1-16

Theme: Paul continues to address questions the church had concerning our sexuality, marriage, and how best to “Glorify God in Your Body”.

Introduction

Dismiss kids to children’s church

Have you ever had questions?

Questions about things you’ve know your whole life?

When you’re young - questions about how things work.

Or why we do things a certain way

As you get older - the questions become more intense, have more depth

Why do we believe what we believe

What is the meaning of life

Story of a question!!!

Jordan - Who built the church?

Nicole - do you believe that Jonah was really swallowed by a whale?

The Church Has Questions

The church had this question that they had been wrestling with. They were like all of us, they have questions.

There are certain instructions given by Jesus.

The are certain instructions given by Paul.

We’ve grown up in a culture that has taught us there is a certain way to live - taught what is right and what is wrong.

Sometimes, the things we have learned are in direct conflict with what we have known all our life.

Porneia - the pain of

All this conversation about fleeing sexual immorality

About when you are with a prostitute - you are joined to her

That there is something more regarding sex - that it is a joining together and that it causes pain

If we are to - Give glory to God in our bodies as Paul says in 6:20

You might come to the conclusion that sexuality is bad

Or you might think Paul is all washed up

It might generate more questions

Sometimes the answer we receive for one question leads to three more questions.

This is partly what has been happening in Corinth

Paul shared with them the love of God through Jesus Christ

They gave their lives - surrendered to he Lordship of Jesus

Then Paul said - here are some things you need to change in your life

Naturally - they want to know why

They may even question the authority of Paul

Because other people - who are followers of Jesus say things are different

In fact - for me, our life should be spent asking questions.

We should give space for people to ask questions

Transition

After Paul left Corinth - they had questions. The purpose behind the letters is to answer questions, correct areas where the church has gone off course, and to encourage.

Sexuality was an area where the church had questions and where Paul needed to make a correction.

Paul is answering a question here in chapter 7 lets read our text for today

1 Corinthians 7:1–16 (NIV)

1Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”

2But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.

3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.

4The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.

5Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

6I say this as a concession, not as a command.

7I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

8Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.

9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

10To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband.

11But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

12To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her.

13And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.

14For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

15But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.

16How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

There’s a lot there.

It sounds like there was a whole bunch of questions.

Which is true

But there is one question that starts it all out.

And that question needs to be answered in ways to show how it impacts people who are at different places in their ife.

The question?

Verse 1

Question - can a man have sexual relations with a woman?

7:1

This seems like an interesting question

But if you think about it - all this talk about the impact that sex has on a person

The drive that is in a person around their sexuality

The voice that can rise up that is interpreted as - sex is bad

Even certain segments of people where they are so focused on satisfying the spirit that any fleshly gratification is seen as bad, wrong, even evil

There are those on the other end of the spectrum where they say it doesn’t matter what I do with my body

Thus - I can have sexual relations with anyone

Paul is trying to give correction and instruction because this is important and we do want to glorify God in our bodies

Paul’s response is

“It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman

What?

Is that really true?

I thought God created us

And that everything he created is “good”

Brad you talked about that just a couple of weeks ago

Foundational piece - God created our sexuality.

Maybe celibacy is the best?

How do we be fruitful and multiply?

Can you see how something that is written can create more questions?

Followers of Jesus - please create space in your household where questions can be asked.

All questions.

Side-note - there are a lot of mysteries in the Kingdom of God

Things that won’t be revealed until Christ comes again.

Good questions lead to deeper understanding

ASK!!!

So, does Paul really mean that it is good for man NOT to have sexual relations with a woman?

Let’s take a look at a more literal translation of this verse.

The

Vs 1 - literal translation -

“it is good for a man not to touch a woman”

“To touch a woman”

Ok, that hads clarity

No touching a woman

that seems like he is being more restrictive

Thankfully - some really smart scholars had questions about Paul’s response too.

Those questions lead to research which has lead to a better understanding.

These scholars looked at extra-biblical texts - 25 resources,

Extra-biblical texts are books and documents from around the same time that Paul wrote

They are from the first century

They use the same words

By looking at this writings that are from the same time we can get a better understanding of what is meant.

In the 25 sources outside of the bible that these scholars looked at - all mean the same

“To touch a woman” - was a sexual euphemism

A euphemism is a word or expression used in lieu of a harsher alternative.

It’s a way to soften the tone

For example, someone might say they're “taking an early retirement” instead of admitting they got fired.

“To hook up!” is a sexual euphemism for us today

To ask someone if they want to “hook up” today means you’re asking that person if they want to have sex.

“to touch a woman” means - acting on sexual passions for the sake of pleasure or sexual release.

It covers all sexual expression other than that between a husband and wife

It is equivalent to our sexual euphemism - “to hook up”

Here the problem is not sex itself, but acting out of a desire to gratify the body rather than a concern for the soul of the other.

Even philosophers from that time and before talked about “to touch a woman”

According to Plato, it is self-gratification that leads the man to “touch” the object of his desire.

Here “to touch” seems to be equated with - as Plato says - “taking one’s fill without honoring the disposition of the soul of the beloved.”

Plato thinks that it is better not to do so.

This is porneia - Paul is saying - it’s good to not be involved in porneia

In the 25 extra-biblical sources that discuss this euphemism - “to touch a woman” - in virtually all cases, the authors indicate that in their view it was good (or would have been good) for the man NOT to touch the woman (or other person), without suggesting that they were committed to celibacy or opposed to sex in general.

Paul could be saying - “it is good for a man not to use a woman for sexual gratification”

or - “it is good for a man not to have sex with a woman for the sake of pleasure”

This does not mean that sex is just for procreation …

it means that if the only reason is to satisfy the inner desire - the inner passion, even at the cost of using someone else, it is not good.

This does not mean that the sexual desire is wrong.

God has given us our sexual desire

It’s part of creation

The Song of Songs expresses the pleasure that is supposed to be experienced

between a husband and wife.

Instead of using a woman for sexual gratification

Prostitution

Extra-marital affair

Etc.

Here’s what you do.

Glorify God With Your Body in Marriage

7:2-5

Since porneia (sexual immorality) is happening

It shows that your desire is strong …

have relations with your wife - and wife with your husband

Literal - “each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband

Have - to hold, own, possess, to lay hold of

One way to deal with porneia - sexual immorality, is to have your own spouse

Since there is a bonding, a gluing, a cementing that happens when and man and woman come together - join with your spouse

Vs. 2 - since porneia is happening - it is good for a husband and wife to have sexual relations.

to have - “to stand in close relationship to someone”

for a husband to have a wife and vise versa -

Paul is saying - to combat porneia - be in close relationship with your spouse

My words - keep your relationship glued - cemented!!!

Vs. 3 - the husband and wife should give to each other their conjugal rights

Roman & Pagan purpose of marriage - procreation, legitimate heirs, political advantage

Pleasure was sought other places

Paul - marriage was grounded in the goodness of creation

marriage is the divine place for the provision of man and woman’s natural needs

In this context, it is important to note that the verse speaks of an obligation to give love, not of the right to demand love.

NIV - should fulfill

ESV - should give

In the context of a covenant relationship between a man and woman - this is all about giving

Not taking, not demanding

Giving

the word likewise also communicates a partnership - and is repeated in vs. 4

Vs. 4 - wife does not have authority over her own body, but yields it … likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but yields it

Patriarchal society would have stopped at the first part of this verse - a wife does not have authority over her own body - it belongs to the husband

Paul’s statement is revolutionary in the fact that the husband doesn’t have authority over his own body either - it belongs to the wife.

we have to look at this statement first and foremost through the eyes of the first-century hearers.

in fact - the husband had authority over all of the bodies in his household

that is why the patriarch - the husband could exploit the slaves in his household because he had authority over their bodies

Paul’s following statement affirming the reverse, that “the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does,” clearly pointed to a radical and unprecedented restriction on the husband’s sexual freedom.

It communicates, negatively, his obligation to refrain from engaging in sexual relations with anyone other than his wife and,

positively, his obligation to fulfill his marital duty to provide her with sexual pleasure and satisfaction.

Song of Solomon (2:16a; 6:3a; 7:10a):

“I am my beloved’s and he is mine.”

Other lines in the Song confirm that such language, though open to abuse, properly belongs to the realm of love and desire.

Far from feeling threatened by such sentiments, the female lover swoons, “his desire is for me” (7:10b) and “his banner over me is love” (2:4b).

It’s all about oneness

vs. 5 - deprive one another only in agreement and for a period of time

then come together again

Paul’s concern is because of the temptation for porneia, it is not about purity

Transition

Paul continues answering the question about “is it ok to have sexual relations

Glorify God by Remaining Single - Or Getting Married

7:6-9

There’s another question that pops up as a result of Pauls instruction.

Question - is it better to remain unmarried?

Paul’s example of celibacy is not to be misused by people

celibacy is not the greatest gift and it is not for everyone

singleness and marriage are both a gift

Although “gift” can have a broad meaning for Paul, ranging from the general benefits of salvation to specific endowments, two constants are evident across the usage:

a gift is freely and graciously bestowed by God; and gifts are given by God for the building up of the body of Christ.

So - whether you are single or married - the question comes back to the beginning of the letter

Are you proclaiming the good news of Jesus Christ.

If you are single - you will have less responsibility to get in the way

We talked about that at the elders this last week

Those of us who are emptinesters - we have more time

If you are married - how do you proclaim the good news of Jesus together

Vs. 8-9 - Unmarried and widow - remain single - if you can - but if you can’t have self-control - then marry

If sexual desire is a chronic distraction and temptation, disrupting a life lived out for the gospel, Paul advocates marriage.

Why? It is better to be married than burn with passion

it is better to be married than to be tempted by porneia

if the temptation is so strong that you cannot carry out the gospel of Jesus - then get married

notice that Paul doesn’t say - put the fire out

he says - if you can’t discipline yourself in the midst of this passion - then get married

the passion for sexuality - is a creation of God, it is good.

Transition

There’s another way to glorify God in your body - it’s ...

Glorify God by Remaining Married

7:10-11

Question - can I divorce my spouse?

If my spouse is not satisfying me - can I divorce her?

If my spouse is not meeting my needs - can I divorce her?

In the Greco-Roman world men and women could divorce their partners by enacting what has been called a “divorce by separation,” that is, simply by telling their partner to leave or by leaving themselves.

Divorce was very common, and probably most marriages ended before the death of a partner.

Instone-Brewer observes that “Greco-Roman marriage certificates were worded as though they expected the marriage to end in divorce, not death.”

In this context, Paul’s decree, on the authority of the Lord Jesus, that Christian married couples who were former Gentiles should stay married is highly countercultural.

Divorce? - must remain unmarried - or be reconciled

why? Mark 10:11-12 - if you divorce and get remarried - that’s adultery

Paul was dealing with Greco-Roman “divorce by separation,” culture which was a “no fault” type of divorce, and that

Paul does not approve of it any more than Jesus approved of the Hillelite version which permitted a man to divorce his wife for any reason that might occur to him.

In the context, Paul is dealing with people who are asking about whether they should divorce their spouses on grounds that Paul considers unacceptable, and thus he tells them that they should not do so.

Paul stands with Jesus in holding that divorce may be justified only where one partner clearly manifests a radical refusal to respect one’s marital commitments and maintain the fundamental integrity of the marriage.

There are those of you here who have been divorced and are remarried

This is not an indictment on you - you are not a bad person

This is Paul dealing with a culture where divorce was rampant

As you know - better than us who have not gone through that - when you are glued to someone - divorce is painful, ugly, filled with lifelong wounds

God’s grace and love and redemption is way bigger than your divorce!!!

Transition

This leads to another question - what if you are married to an unbeliever. Paul says ...

Glorify God by Staying Married to Unbeliever

7:12-16

Question - I’m married to an unbeliever - should I divorce my unbelieving spouse?

in response to Paul’s earlier letter where he says don’t associate with sexually immoral people, the church is wondering what about an unbelieving spouse

wouldn’t that connection infect the church

Jesus didn’t deal with this so Paul gives his own advice

Vs. 14 - Paul says this crazy thing - an unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife

And, an unbelieving wife is sanctified through her husband.

sanctified - set apart

Because of the oneness that happens in marriage, the church is to view the unbelieving spouse as set apart

They are set apart to receive a Christian witness.

If the believing partner is living their life in a way that brings glory to God - there is a greater chance of the unbelieving partner becoming a follower of Jesus.

There is nothing here that suggests that the unbelieving partner is “saved” because they are married to a believer.

the believing spouse creates an environment in the home where it is like the temple of God - the Spirit resides

The goal - is the salvation of the unbeliever

Likewise - children where one parent is a believer is living in an environment where they are set apart - holy

the church is to embrace them

the church is to pour on them the blessings of being part of the community of believers

the implication is - if they are in that environment - there is a greater chance that they will become a believer

Vs. 15 - Paul adds - if the unbeliever leaves - let them

We are to live in peace

If the unbeliever is unwilling to stay in the relationship - let them leave

What Paul is not saying …

Marry an unbeliever

Paul expresses in 2 Cor 6:14 - that we are not to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever

So, as a believer - don’t marry someone who is not a believer

The main point for staying ...

Vs 16 - Your spouse may become a believer

Peter says the same thing - 1 Peter 3:1-4

Your godly lives will speak to them without words - they may be won over.

Part of this message comes back to what Paul says in the very beginning of this letter

the power is in the cross

the most important thing for us followers of Jesus is the proclamation of the good news of Jesus

even in marriage - you can proclaim the good news of Jesus by your actions, by how you respond to your unbelieving spouse.

Conclusion

Sex is a powerful thing.

It binds two people together

Sex is created by God

He have us our desire

Sex is meant to be experienced in a Covenant relationship between a man and a woman

We all make mistakes - we all sin

Jesus died on the cross for our sins

No matter what we have done - God forgives, cleanses, redeems, recipes, makes us whole again.

It’s less about what you have done in the past and more about how are you going to glorify God today and tomorrow.