4. Learning To Let Go

Me:

Welcome to part four of our sermon series, Singing the Sacred. This series is part of a larger journey our church is taking during this pandemic. We are engaged in a spiritual growth campaign called Core52, where we are each week learning about one of 52 core verses that tie the Bible together. The amazing thing is that all of these verses form this big arrow which always points to Jesus.

If you would like to jump in and join us it’s not too late. I would love to get a Core52 book in your hands. You can just pick up and join us starting with week 12. Just send me an email at [e-mail].

I have a problem. I actually have a lot of problems…here’s the one that applies to our Core52 verse today: If someone has a problem, I think that I can help fix it. I don’t know if I do this because I’m a people pleaser or what. I haven’t really dug deep into why I do it. But here is what I know about myself:

I over promise and under deliver because something inside of me wants to fix problems…even though I know I’m not capable of doing so.

Have you ever heard of the “Messiah Complex”? It’s a term referring to a state of mind in which an individual believes that they are responsible for saving or assisting others. People who work in helping type professions can sometimes be prone to this messiah complex. Sometimes it’s referred to a savior complex. So people like pastors, counselors, therapists, doctors, nurses, teachers....even parents. They are always stepping in to rescue, fix, or correct people.

Maybe you’ve never heard of messiah complex, but I know you have for sure heard of the “control freak”. A control freak is someone who needs control over everything, because without it, they fear things would spiral out of control and their lives or the lives of others would fall apart. A control freak might be someone who is always correcting people when they are wrong. Refusal to admit they are wrong. Always try to win the argument and have the last word. Someone who is very critical of others. There are other descriptions, but I think you get the idea. If you haven’t heard of the messiah complex, you for sure know someone who is a control freak. I bet there are a lot of sideways glances going on right now!

Here’s the deal; many of us struggle with variations of messiah complex or being control freak. Now, just to be clear…we are to help people, but we can’t help everyone, nor can we fix people. We are to be in control, of the things that we are responsible for. Our control is to end where the other person’s responsibility begins. However, for many of us, this can be hard to figure out.

The problem comes when we think it’s our responsibility to save him or her…when they don’t want to be saved. Or the problem happens when we think it’s our responsibility to control our kids, our family or friends, or the person we are in a relationship with. There’s another word for that, it’s called manipulation. Nobody wants to be in a relationship where they are being controlled or manipulated!

So why do we do it? For some, it’s a form of narcissism. We think that everything is about me. Other reasons would be fear, anxiety, or even anger.

I would put it this way: When we can’t fix the person or control the situation, we find ourselves reeling with worry, fear, anxiety, anger and even depression.

Does this sound familiar to anyone? I think we’ve all been there or maybe that is where we are right now. So how can we flip the script?

When we look into the Bible, we find all kinds of people who struggle with the same exact issue…it’s one of the many reasons we can trust the Bible. Even though it was written over two thousand years ago, it still perfectly applies to the same struggles we have. Perfect example? King David. The giant killer. The warrior. The general. The king. The man who could have anything. Yet he reaches some crucial moments when he lost control and his life, his kingdom were sent reeling.

What was it that helped him let go of control and find peace for the remainder of his reign as king? Let’s talk about it.

God:

If you have a Bible or device, go ahead and find Psalm 110. If you have the YouVersion Bible app, go ahead and find events…all of the sermon notes, Scriptures, and even a helpful Bible reading plan will be at your fingertips.

As I’ve mentioned throughout this series, the book of Psalms is essentially the Jewish hymn book. Full of a wide variety of songs, hymns and poetry…written in many different genres. For many Jews, these were songs that they had memorized, and categorized depending on the situation. They had Psalms they would sing at Passover. They even had certain psalms they would sing as they were walking up the mountain to Jerusalem.

What we have in Psalm 110 is very unique. It’s clearly a messianic psalm. It’s also a prophetic psalm. David writes this psalm looking forward to a day when a messiah, savior, a good king would rule and reign. This is significant for David. He has united Israel. He has founded a capital city. He has brought the tabernacle to Jerusalem. He has defeated their enemies. However, he’s had moral failure. He’s had a son try to overthrow him. He’s getting old. Who’s next to take charge? Who is going to takeover and lead this nation? Worry. Stress. Anxiety. Control.

Then he writes Psalm 110. Verse one is your Core52 verse for week 12, let’s check it out as see why.

The New International Version Psalm 110

1 The LORD says to my lord:

“Sit at my right hand

until I make your enemies

a footstool for your feet.”

This can be a very confusing verse to understand, but it’s one of the most important verses in the Bible. In fact, this is the most quoted OT verse in the NT. Jesus himself uses it on multiple occasions. So what’s going on here?

Let’s break it down:

The LORD = God

my = King David

lord = Messiah

God is talking to a messiah/lord who will come in the future…who is greater than David. Got it? Here is where it becomes really interesting. God says that this Messiah will sit at his right hand. This Messiah, is essentially God’s right hand man…the messiah is divine. And God is going to defeat his enemies.

So what is King David learning? God’s got this.

This psalm was important to David, it reminded him that God’s got this. As Israel found themselves in precarious situations, in exile, surrounded by enemies, and in moments when they were out of control, Psalm 110 and others were on their mind. God’s got this.

So how does this help us? How does this help us as we try and control our own kingdoms? How does this help us when we don’t have the strength to fix the problems in our lives?

Jump ahead to the ministry of Jesus and you will Jesus actually asking the religious leaders, the ones who knew Psalm 110, he kept asking them who they thought David was talking about. They had no answers. So do you know what they did? They killed Jesus because they didn’t want to give up control. Think of that for a moment. Messiah shows up, and the power brokers didn’t want to give up control and so they killed Jesus. We read that and think, “That’s terrible, why would they do that?!” Yet the truth is, we do something similar all the time. You see, most of us here love the savior Jesus. Who doesn’t love the idea of Jesus saving us and forgiving us. We all love that Jesus! The part of Jesus we struggle with is Jesus, Messiah, Lord. The one who calls us to leave our control behind and live life in a brand new way. That Jesus is the one we really struggle with because is requires us to acknowledge our weakness and brokenness.

Here’s what all of us need understand about Jesus and our own personal struggles with messiah complex or simply being a control freak: We all need a Messiah—and you’re not it. Jesus is.

With the time we have left, let’s look at how Jesus is the best messiah and why he is more then capable of taking over control of our lives.

In The Sermon on the Mount, there is a section where Jesus addresses worry. Keep in mind, he is speaking to crowd of people who is living at or near the poverty level. They were literally being taxed to death. It would make sense that they struggle with worry, anxiety and fear. Listen to what Jesus teaches. (Matthew 6:25-27; 33-34)

The New International Version Chapter 6

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

The New International Version Chapter 6

33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

1. When Jesus Is Messiah, We Have Someone to Take Our Worry

Jesus’ point is clear. When we can’t fix the problems in our life we worry because we believe no one else can help. His point is, that worrying has never fixed any problem in the history of the world. It’s wasted energy. Birds don’t worry. God takes care of them, and if God takes care of birds, won’t he take care of people? Our worry is form of trying to control situations.

So what is Jesus’s solution? “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness.” For a long time I thought that meant that I just needed to be a good. Good=righteousness. That is not what is happening here. The key phrase is “kingdom”. Who’s your messiah? Is Jesus your King? Are you a part of his kingdom? Then live your life like Jesus is king. Finances a mess? How does your king want you to handle your finances? Your marriage a wreck? How does your king want you to live in that relationship? Not how are you supposed to control and manipulate the situation. How is your messiah directing you to live your life. We all need a messiah, and you’re not it. Jesus is.

Here’s another example, found in Matthew 8:23-27. Jesus is with his disciples in a small fishing point on the Sea of Galilee when a nasty storm turns up. Here’s what happens.

Matthew 8:23–27 NIV

Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!” He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!”

2. What Kind of Man Is Jesus?

We all have to honestly wrestle with and answer that question. If the eyewitness account of Matthew is correct, and I believe that it is, then I have to ask myself how I’m going to respond to a man who wakes up....looks into the face of a derecho and says, “Knock it off!” and immediately it does! The disciples didn’t even know what to say, instead they tried to figure out, what kind of man is this.

Listen, acknowledging that Jesus is the messiah is not going to stop tornado’s from destroying your home or from flood waters sweeping it away. It’s ultimately about trusting in one who is greater than the storm, the wind, or the flood. We all need a messiah, and you’re not it. Jesus is.

Okay, last example. Jesus is in the Garden of Gethsemane. A mob of thugs have shown up to arrest Jesus. Listen to what happens next. (Matthew 26:51-52)

The New International Version Chapter 26

51 With that, one of Jesus’ companions reached for his sword, drew it out and struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his ear.

52 “Put your sword back in its place,” Jesus said to him, “for all who draw the sword will die by the sword. 53 Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels? 54 But how then would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen in this way?”

3. Your Struggle For Control Could Potentially Be Your Downfall

For all who draw the sword will die by the sword. In other words, if you try and fix or manipulate your problems with your own strength, it will be your downfall. This is a powerful lesson for all of us who live our lives as if we are our own messiahs. We think we are good enough, or strong enough, our smart enough to fix whatever is wrong…and to Jesus’ point we end up digging ourselves and even deeper hole. Even in a moment, when everything looked like it was falling apart Jesus says, “I’ve got this. This is the plan.”

Here is what we learn.

We all need a Messiah—and you’re not it. But Jesus is.

Here are some next steps you can consider to help turn things around.

You:

You Need To Hand Over the Keys

Repentance is actually letting go and giving up control over your life to Jesus. Maybe a good comparison is the moment you ask a friend or parent to hand over their car keys because they aren’t in a good position to drive. It’s a hard discussion to have, isn’t it? It takes a lot for that person to evaluate their lives, and then hand over their keys. I think that in this very moment, the Holy Spirit is having that conversation with some of you…am I right? He’s like, let go of the keys to that relationship. Let go of the keys of your finances. Let go of the keys of that career. Letting go doesn’t mean we are giving up…it means we are trusting someone better to take over.

2. Reconcile Relationships

For some of you, your controlling way of life, your messiah complex has messed up a lot of relationships. My challenge for you is that today, you make some phone calls and say your sorry. Just say, “I’m sorry for being such a controlling, manipulative person. I was wrong.” It’s a powerful way to give up control over your relationships and allow Jesus to take the lead.

3. Make Jesus Your Messiah

For some of you here, your step is crystal clear: you need to make Jesus your messiah. You need to take the broken, dingy, make believe crown off of your head and bend your knee to King Jesus. If you have never made that commitment, please contact me and we can begin to have a conversation about what that looks like in your life.

Because we all need a messiah, and you’re not it. Jesus is.

Let me close with what this can look like in our lives, if we make Jesus messiah.

We:

People who have taught me the most about admitting my weaknesses and lack of control my life are recovering addicts. In fact, I find people who have broken their addictions to be so inspiring. One of the reasons is because they are so transparent and authentic. They will openly talk to you about their addiction, what they did, how it hurt themselves and others. You will catch yourself thinking: I was I could be this real with people. But here’s the deal, we can. That’s what all of this conversation is about. For those of you who have gone through the 12 steps of recovery know, the first two are essentially everything that we have talked about this today.

Step One: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

Step Two: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Think of the monumental change that could take place in our families and friendships if we began to surrender control of our lives over to King Jesus? Would could our neighborhoods be transformed into if people stopped controlling and worrying and instead trusted King Jesus? Listen, we all need a messiah, and you’re not it. Jesus is.