Alexander & Christine Nicolay Wedding Message
Notes
Transcript
Alexand Christine, I want to talk with you for a few minutes about your marriage. And...so that the others won’t feel let out, we’ll let them listen in. But it’s YOUR hearts I want to talk straight during this time.
The Bible that teaches us that marriage is GOD’s idea. And it is the Bible that teaches us how marriage works God’s way. So let’s look into the Word of God for 7 1/2 minutes. I want to highlight TWO BIG TRUTHS from God for your marriage, one for each of you.
We see these truths in 1 Peter ch3. Let me read the first 7 verses and then highlight those 2 truths.
1 Peter 3:1-7
1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Did you hear those 2 truths?
-to YOU Christine, God says: Be Submissive to Alexander.
-to YOU Alexander, God says: Be Understanding of Christine.
TRUTH ONE: Christine, God says in your marriage, be SUBMISSIVE to Alexander. Not to any man or every man, but ONLY to Alexander. He will be placed by God in the position of leadership in your marriage. You are called to follow his lead.
Praise God that Alexander is a man who desires to obey and honor Christ, so he doesn’t need to be won to Christ by your life, like some of those wives Peter wrote to. But your respectful attitude towards Alexander WILL make taking the lead and being considerate of you and your needs a joy.
Christine, here’s what this submissive, respectful wife looks like: Don’t just be concerned with how attractive you are OUTWARDLY (and she is a beautiful woman...right, Alexander?)...outward beauty gets more expensive the longer you try to look young!
Instead, Peter writes, cultivate a heart, an attitude that is GENTLE and QUIET. A Gentle wife is both strong and tender. She can disagree agreeably so her husband wants to hear her. A Quiet wife has a peace and calmness about her. As my wife loves to say, “she freaketh not out!” Peter says this gentle, quiet spirit has a beauty that doesn’t get old and wrinkled...it just keeps getting better and more beautiful...and it is VERY PRECIOUS to God.
The last thing Peter writes to you, Christine, is that there have been godly women as examples of this submissive wife for hundreds of generations. Like Sarah, 4,000 years ago with Abraham...she called him “lord”...a respectful way of saying “head of our home.”
And you will be like Sarah, Christine, if you are submissive and respect and help Alexander to lead and “do not fear anything that is frightening.”
This is very important...Peter says, you might be tempted to be afraid that submitting yourself to Alexander COULD lead to him taking advantage of you. And that would choke the life and joy and love out of your respect for him. You would not submit to, but SUSPECT his leadership.
So protect your submission by TRUSTING that God is watching over you. Submit to CHRIST first of all as your Lord. Believe He will work in Alexander. And help Alexander to lead well by how you respond to him as a woman of tender strength who doesn’t freak out.
TRUTH TWO: Alexander, God says that in your marriage, BE UNDERSTANDING of Christine.
1 Peter 3:7
7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
The greatest challenge, perhaps, for any husband in marriage is UNDERSTANDING his wife. Alexander, there is NO graduating from this class...you keep studying and learning Christine day by day, year by year.
But Peter tells you here 3 things you MUST understand about Christine...
1. Christine is WEAKER than you. Mentally? NO. Character-wise? NO. Spiritually? NO. HOW is she weaker? Physical strength. Men have about 50% more muscle mass than women. Which means that instead of leading Christine by wisdom and kindness and love, you could be tempted to intimidate her by your strength. But instead, Peter writes: HONOR her. Acknowledge the strengths and gifts Christine has in creativity, wisdom, sensitivity in situations, etc.
1. Christine is WEAKER than you. Mentally? NO. Character-wise? NO. Spiritually? NO. HOW is she weaker? Physical strength. Men have about 50% more muscle mass than women. Which means that instead of leading Christine by wisdom and kindness and love, you could be tempted to intimidate her by your strength. But instead, Peter writes: HONOR her. Acknowledge the strengths and gifts Christine has in creativity, wisdom, sensitivity in situations, etc.
2. A second thing you must understand about Christine, is that she is an “heir with you of the grace of life.” This means that she is your spiritual equal in every way. She has received God’s grace in Christ like you have. She is a child of God, a daughter of the King. Treat her like it! Always remember that she is your forever sister as well as your wife during this time.
2. A second thing you must understand about Christine, is that she is an “heir with you of the grace of life.” This means that she is your spiritual equal in every way. She has received God’s grace in Christ like you have. She is a child of God, a daughter of the King. Treat her like it! Always remember that she is your forever sister as well as your wife during this time.
3. And the third thing you must understand about Christine is: how you treat her has a massive impact on your relationship with God. I have had friends who treated their wives unkindly or harshly and they actually thought they could go to church and worship without getting things with their wife right first. If things aren’t right because you have not been kind to Christine, you have 2 relationships to reconcile: with her and with God.
3. And the third thing you must understand about Christine is: how you treat her has a massive impact on your relationship with God. I have had friends who treated their wives unkindly or harshly and they actually thought they could go to church and worship without getting things with their wife right first. If things aren’t right because you have not been kind to Christine, you have 2 relationships to reconcile: with her and with God.
An wise saying says: “Walls Up, Roof On
Walls Down, Rood Gone.”er and Christine, here we are! Wow! Can you believe it? I hope you do!