Deacons and family

1 Timothy 3:11–13 NASB95

Women must likewise be dignified, not malicious gossips, but temperate, faithful in all things. Deacons must be husbands of only one wife, and good managers of their children and their own households. For those who have served well as deacons obtain for themselves a high standing and great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus.

Introduction:

Last week we laid a foundation for understanding gender roles and how they relate to leadership in the church and the home.

Rooted in Creation - and not just expressions of cultural values and norms

Corrupted by sin - and how the gender-related struggles we face today are the same ones evidenced in the fall and curse of Genesis 3

Confused in the culture - that we are even having this conversation is reason enough to be “cancelled”

Redeemed by Christ - who frees us to embrace Godly male and female-ness as He made us

Reflected in the church - that the gospel enables and expects that we live out these God-given roles to His glory in our homes and in His church

Points of clarification:

Women in general are NOT called to submit to men in general. Male headship (God’s desire for men to stand up and lead faithfully) is explicitly called for in Christian homes and churches. Outside of that we are free to engage in other leadership models in the circles we live and operate in. (i.e we don’t fight for male leadership in all aspects of life).

No man should treat a daughter of God, made in His image as lesser or unequal. It is wrong and should not be tolerated in the church or home. This includes abuse (verbal, physical, emotional, etc.), neglect, and any other kind of mistreatment.

The NT teaching on gender roles in the church and home express 1) the principle of male headship, and 2) some particular cultural expressions of it. (This helps us when dealing with difficult passages in the NT.)

We must hold to the principles taught, while finding appropriate and helpful ways to express it in our culture today. (Ex. Head coverings, order in service, etc. - compare to eating meat)

1 Timothy 2:12 clearly applies male headship to the teaching authority in the church (i.e. Elder/Bishop/Overseer - Pastor). In God’s church, the authority is always the Word of God and therefore the person(s) teaching the Word of God to the gathered congregation is to be a man/men. This is not a particular cultural application but central to the nature of church authority and leadership.

Now, to the question of deacons:

Can/should we have women deacons in the church?

Clear and simple answer: It depends.

Read: 1 Timothy 3:11-13

The deacon role is not a teaching authority in the church.

We at GCC-Dixon will strive to faithfully apply the principle of male headship, particularly as it pertains to teaching authority and oversight in the church.

When deacons are appointed as servers that meet specific needs of the church body and aren’t used as executive decision-makers in the church, there is no blatant violation of the biblical principle of male headship if a woman is appointed.

Ex. “Deacon of hospitality” who ensures visiting speakers, etc. have everything they need for accommodations (room, directions, meals, etc.).

Ex. “Deacon” who is in charge of organizing flowers, cards, or or meal deliveries to those who are grieving.

Verse 11 could mean women deacons, but is likely referring to wives of deacons who support the work.

What it says: Women/Wives - gyne (gu-na) - from where we get gynecology. It is translated 129x as women and 92x as wife in the KJV. (ESV/KJV = “wives”, NIV/NASB = “women”). Context!

The case for “women” or “deaconess”

There is a transition word of “likewise” which seems to indicate another instance of similar kind (i.e. another type of deacon)

People often raise the question of why there would be a direct qualification for deacons wives but not elders wives in the previous verses.

Romans 16:1 mentions Pheobe, who is described as a “deacon/servant of the church at Cenchrea”. She is listed by name, assigned to a particular church, commending her service of many including Paul himself. 

Acts 6? Seven men isn’t a model but simply a similar ministry in the earliest church. Seldom is seven seen as hard fast rule. Men treated similarly.

The case for “wives”

Context and placement - Verses 8-10 are speaking of male deacons (i.e. masculine verbs and adjectives used) and their qualifications. Then, right before speaking of their families, it lists a short, general description of the character of a wife. The same word for women in v.11 is used in v.12.

Why would Paul interject the thought in the middle of speaking of male deacons and their family life if it simply meant deacons who are female?

Why would women have a distinct list of qualifications from their male counterparts (Unless in a distinct role, like supporting wives)?

In Romans 16:1, Paul could simply be referring to Pheobe as a servant in a general sense as He often does in his letters

1 and 2 Corinthians - Servants "through whom they believed", "servants of God", "servants of a new covenant", "servants of righteousness" and "servants of Christ.

Paul often refers to himself and others as servants/ministers (Epaphras, Tychicus, etc.) particularly in Ephesians and Colossians.

The seven men in Acts 6 were the first deacons, which serves as a model for what Paul is describing in 1 Timothy 3. 

Again, verse 11 could mean women deacons, but is likely referring to wives of deacons who support the work. Honestly, take your pick, but the more important thing is that the church take seriously the support role of deacon and appoint Godly faithful servants in a way that doesn’t violate the clear teaching of scripture.

Deacons are to work in partnership with others, and be proven that they are faithful, godly and can manage their homes to the glory of God.

Women/Wives

dignified - similar to “men of dignity” in v.8

no malicious gossips - have control of their tongue

Not many things have the power to ruin unity in the body of Christ like someone who is loose-lipped or a gossip. Women/Wives must be cautious in this.

similar to not double tongued in v.8

temperate - someone not quick to overreact. Control of tongue and temper. Women are generally more emotionally reactive than men and must use discretion in serving the body.

faithful in all things - be of godly character and demonstrate genuine Christian faith in word and deed

Deacons must be

husbands of one wife - one woman man - faithful to their wife, not a polygamist

good managers of their children and their homes]

Dutiful service to God brings glory to Him and shines as an outstanding witness to and through the body of Christ!

Serve well - Matthew 25:21

good standing and great confidence in the faith!

Not salvation, but assurance - sured-ness in your place in the body of Christ!

Glory to God and witness, demonstrating Christ-like service and love to the people of God and those looking in from the outside.

Grace Community Church - Dixon recognizes the following:

God calls us men of GCC-Dixon to stand up and lead in our homes and families first, that we may better reflect His glory in the church and to the world.

That the ladies of GCC-Dixon are some of the hardest working and loving people God has called to His service and that the work of the church would not, and could not happen without their full support.

As a small body, and in our particular context we will be best served by selecting male deacons who are proven in managing a home and family and can operate in partnership with their wives.

This helps in meeting the needs of both men and women of the congregation and is firmly in line with the clear and obvious teaching of scripture.

While the door could be open for specific female-led deacon areas of ministry, needs of GCC-Dixon require general oversight of practical operations in the church, allowing specific tasks to be accomplished by various members (male and female) according to their gifting.

The amount of collaboration and partnership required between the elders and deacons are further cause to prefer men in both elder and deacon roles.

May God be fully glorified as we all learn to lead, to serve, to be bold and yet submissive as God has called us in our various roles - as we live and serve our Beloved Savior and Lord - Jesus Christ.