Reducing Conflict
Reducing Conflict.doc SD20
August 19, 2007 File E
The Joyful Christian Part 3
Reducing Conflict with Others
The Joyful Christian is our theme in Philippians.
We already talked about how to enjoy the people in your life
Today I want to apply our text to the specific area of personal conflict—
Much of the lack of joy in our lives can be related to our relationships—people! Because we have conflict!
God gives us some practical guidelines that can help us if we will apply ourselves to following the example of Jesus that Paul gives us here
Read Philippians 2:1-11
v. 2 “fulfill my joy (make my joy complete), by being likeminded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.”
Before we look at the application of the text—let me take a minute to examine the deeper truths set forth here about the character and nature of Jesus Christ---
There is a lot of confusion about the identity of Jesus today
--Some believe him to be some great shaman
--Others say he is a good moral teacher
--While still others give him no more than a cursory place in history
--While some even deny his existence …
We learn from v.6-7 about the essential nature of Jesus Christ—
What do we learn?
Let me read it from the NLT
“Though He was God, he did not demand and cling to his rights as God. He made himself nothing; he took the humble position of a slave and appeared in human form. And in human form he obediently humbled himself even further by dying a criminal’s death on a cross. Because of this God raised him up to the heights of heaven and gave him a name that is above every name. So that at the name of Jesus every knee shall bow in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”
A couple of things made clear:
1. Jesus was equal with God, and indeed was God from eternity past.
2. As “God the Son” he willing submitted Himself to the Godhead to come to earth and partake of human flesh – laid aside His divine prerogatives so that he might accomplish salvation through His death and resurrection.
So when you are talking about the Jesus of the Bible we are talking about the One who was equal with the Father in eternity past and also put himself in a role that was servant to the Father in coming to earth…while on earth he limited his divine powers. He did not become less than what he always was—merely chose to limit Himself to human flesh.
Bottom line—Jesus is God and there is no other name given by which we must be saved.
Bottom line: It is to Jesus that everyone must eventually bow
You can bow today….
Or you can wait till divine judgment falls and you are forced to your knees before you run away to hide yourself in hell because you rejected the King of kings and Lord of lords as your own king and Lord.
Now let’s get back to the text and make some practical applications to the Joyful Christian life---
How can you maintain your joy???
Specifically today (with the help of Rick Warrren, from whom I got the outline on the back of your bulletin, with some minor changes of my own).
I want us to look at how to reduce conflict with other people—now wouldn’t you agree that conflict with others is often a great joy-killer in your life???
NOTE: Reduce not eliminate!
Paul says (v.2) “Make my joy complete by being likeminded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose…”
Full joy for Paul resulted in his friends at Philippi being likeminded, having the same love, being in one accord, of one mind.
These are principles of unity that can bring a peace and joy into your life—in your family, business, and in our church!
To have a successful business the employees must work together.
To have a successful football team the players must work together.
To have successful government the congress and the president must cooperate. – (that is why we are not very successful I our govt.)
To have a successful family the members must work together. To have a successful church we must work together.
Very little is accomplished in life by yourself.
Success is never a one man show.
Very little is accomplished without cooperation.
When there is unity there is tremendous power and potential. The problem is people don't always get along.
How do you reduce conflict and increase cooperation?
How do you develop unity????
1. DEFUSE COMPETITION vs 3a “Do nothing out of selfish ambition”
Phillips – never act from motives of rivalry
Too often we compete with people on our own team. Instead of complementing each other they are competing with each other. They are fighting each other. They have conflicting desires.
As a kid you were involved in sibling rivalries. You competed with your brothers and sisters and now you're much older and much more sophisticated. But some of you are still competing with your brothers and sisters, trying to prove tat you're better. You're an adult and you're still trying to compete! You're on the same team, the same family!
It is the same in the church—we must grow up and realize that we are on the same team and we must work to accomplish something for God—
Much more can be done when we don’t care who gets the credit—who gets noticed!
James 4:1-2 "What causes fights and quarrels? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but you don't get it." He's saying that the first cause of conflict is competing desires. Our society teaches us instant gratification. When my needs conflict with your needs, we have trouble. We live in a very competitive world. If you want to have unity you've got to defuse competition.
Who made it about “winning” anyway?
Win the argument. Win the game. Win or lose!
And you for one always have to win…right?
2. DELETE CONCEIT v.3b “Do nothing out of vain conceit”
Get rid of the pride issue!!!
Stop trying to show off—grow up—work for something bigger than your own ego…
It is our own pride that refuses to admit when we are wrong or have acted inappropriately or responded in the wrong manner…
It is our ego that must be broken!
Work for the good of others
Don’t just work for your own promotion—work for the good of the company
Don’t just work for your own praise—work to promote someone else—to make someone else look good…
Watch your ego! It will only breed deeper conflict!
Pride leads to destruction
Prov. 13:10 “Pride only breeds quarrels.”
Reduce conflict by reducing your own pride and ego!
It is not about YOU!!!!
3. DECREASE CRITICISM v.3c
“In humility consider others to be better than yourselves.”
Why do we think it necessary to criticize other people and point out their failures…It is not necessary and it is not helpful and it is decidedly not Christ-like
If you want more joy in your life you must spend more time talking good about others and less speaking about the bad things
Does this sound familiar???
It is a repeated theme in this book!
When he says think others "better" than yourself---he doesn't mean "superior". He means "worthy of respect". He says you're not to put people down, you treat them better than yourself.
This is a radical concept.
Treat others better than yourself?
Think about how you want to be treated and treat them better than that!
That's the exact opposite from our culture in America. We are full of people who think they are better than everybody else. We have elevated selfishness to an art form, a character quality.
So decrease your level of talking about other people and start speaking of them in positive terms! It will bring more joy into your life and decrease the level of conflict you have with others.
4. DEMONSTRATE CONSIDERATION v.4
“Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
Oh my how we get wrapped up in our own needs and troubles…If you want to decrease conflict in your life and increase your capacity for joy---start looking to help someone else reach a new level of fulfillment in their life…
“Look to the needs of others…”
That word “look” is scopos in the Greek NT. It means to put the scope on their needs…
Find a need and fill it!!!!
We don’t pay attention to other people needs! We just don’t do that very often—we are self absorbed!
That is why there is trouble in the home, at work, and at church, or any other place—We are looking out for #1 ME!
We don’t care about the other person!!!
1 Peter 3:7 says to us men, “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives…so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”
Common consideration---basic kindness!
Thinking about them!
One of the great reason conflicts increase is simply the fact that I have been insensitive to someone else’s need.
Don’t ignore the needs of others!
Be considerate! Say, Thank You! and Please! You first!
5. WORK TO DEVELOP A CHRIST-LIKE ATTITUDE v.5
“Your attitude should be the same as that of Jesus Christ…”
What was his attitude?
v.6 He didn’t demand his rights
v.7 He had a serving mentality—here to serve others
v.8 He was willing to sacrifice himself for the sake of others
Friends we are bucking the whole of our human sinful make-up
We are going against the common culture
We are fighting against principalities who want us to stay selfish at heart…
It is impossible on your own strength and merit…we need Jesus!!!
We need him as savior
We need him as Lord
We need him as our Holy Spirit baptizer—to be empowered to
live this kind of life
Listen!!! As long as you are seeking your own happiness it will elude you…but when you decide to live to please the Lord Jesus Christ and be a servant to the people in your life you will find your level of joy begin to increase and your capacity for joy to increase as well…
WE MUST AT ALL COST LET GO OF OUR SELF LIFE AND LIVE THE CHRIST LIFE
CHRIST IN YOU—THE HOPE OF GLORY!!!
1. Are you seeking to decrease that competitiveness with your brothers and sisters? Working together for the kingdom: Defuse Competition
There is a place for it—but not in personal relationships—at home, on the job, in the church
2. Delete conceit---give that old pride factor the boot!
3. Decrease your critical speech—stop talking so much about other people
4. be considerate—think about others—are you considerate with those closest to you?? Especially your spouse???
Can you do that?
I know you can! Will you??? That is now your choice!
Let Jesus live in you!!!
Come make a new surrender of your life to Him!!!
Today!!!!
“The Joyful Christian” Part Three
REDUCING CONFLICT WITH OTHERS
PHILIPPIANS 2:1-8
"... make my joy complete by being likeminded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose." (vs 2)
HOW TO HAVE UNITY (In Your Family, Business, or Church)
1. DEFUSE ____________________________________ (vs. 3a)
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition ..."
"Never act from motives of rivalry ..." (Ph)
2. DELETE ___________________________________ (vs. 3b)
"Do nothing out of ... vain conceit."
"Never act from motives of personal vanity" (Phillips)
"Don't do anything ... from a cheap desire to boast" (GN)
"Pride only breeds quarrels." Prov. 13:10
3. DECREASE _________________________________ (vs. 3c)
" ... in humility consider others better than yourselves."
4. DEMONSTRATE ______________________________ (vs. 4)
"Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."
"Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives ... so that nothing will hinder your prayers." I Peter 3:7
5. DEVELOP ___________________________________ (vs. 5)
"Your attitude should be the same as that of Jesus Christ."
vs. 6
vs. 7
vs. 8
"Do your best to preserve the unity which the Spirit gives, by the peace that binds you together." Eph. 4:3 (GN)