Tamar, Grandmother of Jesus

Tamar, Grandmother to Jesus

Matthew 1:1-3

There are five women who are mentioned in the genealogy of Jesus. You’re probably familiar with most of these women.

Mary, the mother of Jesus is one of the central figures in Jesus life (16). Most Christians are at least loosely familiar with her story.

Bathsheba (6) was the wife of David. We know her because of the sinful actions of David. David committed adultery with her and married her husband. She gave birth to Solomon.

Ruth (5) has a book of the Bible named after her. Her story is well known and one of the most popular love stories in the Bible.

Rahab (5) was the prostitute who helped Israel take Jericho. Joshua sent two spies into the city. When the King heard there were spies in the land, he searched for them. Rahab hid the spies and made a confession of faith concerning the God of Israel. Her life was transformed, and she married Salmon, a Jewish man from the tribe of Judah.

Tamar (3) is probably the least known of all the women in Jesus genealogy. That’s probably because not many preachers want to preach a sermon about her life. The account of Tamar reads like an episode of Maury Povich or Jerry Springer.

When we think of grandmothers, we don’t normally think scandalous. We think of dear women who love sacrificially and are wise and far more self-controlled than we are. The truth is there was some level of scandal in all the grandmothers listed in Jesus’ genealogy.

We might wonder why Matthew would include a genealogy of Jesus at all. There are a few reasons:

1) To show that Christ is an actual historical person. Jesus isn’t a myth. He was an actual person who walked on this earth. A legitimate genealogy, a family tree if you will, exists to prove that.

2) To show that Christ is a legitimate heir to the throne of David. The Bible prophecies in many places that the Messiah would be of the lineage of David. This family tree proves that Jesus is an actual descendant of David.

3) To show that Christ is a representative of mankind. Luke takes his genealogy all the way back to Adam. Jesus descended from the first human. The Bible teaches Jesus is the second Adam. In other words, He is the second representative of the entire human race. In order to represent humans and to be a substitute for the sins of humanity the Savior had to be a human. This genealogy proves that Jesus was a human being. He was born of a woman who descended from Adam and Eve, just as we all were.

This morning I want to focus on a particular grandmother of Jesus. We’re going to consider the life of Tamar and what we can learn from her this Christmas season. Genesis 38 tells her story.

1. She had an ungodly father in law.

Judah was one of Jacobs sons. He was the forefather of the tribe of Judah, one of the twelve tribes of Israel. Jacob had twelve sons. Joseph was his favorite.

On a particular day all of Jacobs sons except Joseph were tending to their father’s flock. Jacob sent Joseph to check n them. Joseph’s brothers hated him. They hated him because he was clearly their father’s favorite. When they saw Joseph coming, they hatched a plan to get rid of him.

Initially the plan was to kill Joseph. They were in the middle of the wilderness. No one would see what happened. They were going to tell their father Joseph was killed by a wild animal in route to check on them. The oldest brother, Rueben spoke up. He convinced the brothers not to kill Joseph. Instead it was agreed they would throw Joseph into one of the many pits in that region.

The brothers noticed a group of Midianite men traveling to Egypt. Judah convinced the brothers to sell Joseph as a slave to these men. With Joseph sold as a slave and carried to Egypt they thought they would never hear from him again. They took his clothes and covered them with the blood of a goat. They took Joseph’s clothes and showed their father. He was convinced his son had been killed while traveling alone in the wilderness to check on his brothers.

Judah decided to separate himself from his brothers. He took up residence with the Canaanites. Away from his father and brothers he married a Canaanite woman. In doing this he broke away from the commandments of God (Deut. 7:1,3 & Gen. 24:3).

Some have suggested that Judah showed grace to Joseph by convincing his brothers not to kill him but to sell him into slavery. But being sold into slavery was essentially a death sentence in that region. Especially being sold into slavery in Egypt.

Judah will continue to sink further into depravity before the grace of God rescues him. His brother was a slave to Pharaoh in Egypt, but worse than that he had become a slave to sin. He had betrayed his father, sold his brother into slavery, married a Canaanite and chose to live among pagans rather than with his own family. Tamar had an ungodly father in law.

2. She had awful marriages.

Judah had a son he named Er. He was a terribly ungodly man. In fact, the Bible says he was wicked in the sight of the Lord. He was such a wicked man that the Bible says God killed him.

Er was killed before he and Tamar had children. The Hebrews practiced Levirate marriage. This was a custom in which a surviving brother would marry the childless widow of his brother. There were two reasons for this:

1) It secured a lineage for the brother who passed away. The first son born to the widow was legally the son of the deceased brother. He inherited what rightly belonged to the deceased.

2) It protected widows. In that culture women needed men. Without a husband or a son, they would be sure to live a life of poverty. The son born would be required to care for his mother and would do so in part using the inheritance of her first husband.

Judah honored this custom. His second born son, Onan, was given Tamar as a wife. Onan was a wicked man as well. He married Tamar, but he had no intention of giving her a child. He took full advantage of the marriage relationship, but he made sure he did not impregnate her.

Why would he do this? Greed. He didn’t want to split his father’s inheritance with a son that wouldn’t be legally his. He dishonored his father, he dishonored his brother, he dishonored Tamar, and most of all, he dishonored God.

God’s patience ran out with Onan. The Bible says that God killed him as well. Tamar has had two awful marriages. She is twice widowed, childless and still a young woman.

Judah has one more son. This son is younger. He doesn’t want his youngest son to marry her because he is afraid this son will die as well. It seems that Judah is blaming Tamar for the death of his sons. He seems to think she’s some sort of black widow. But the truth is his sons were wicked men who were not killed by Tamar but killed by God Himself.

Judah wants to appear to be considerate of Tamar. He tells her to go to her father’s house and when the youngest son comes of age the two will be married. The truth is Judah never planned on his youngest son marrying Tamar. But he also didn’t want her marrying anyone else.

Tamar probably feels as if everyone has abandoned her. She is a grown woman, twice widowed and now living back at home. Her only hope is that Judah will honor his word. A considerable amount of time passes. Clearly his youngest son is old enough to take her as his wife. It becomes clear to her that Judah has no intention of keeping his word to her.

In the meantime, Judah’s wife dies. He mourns for her. Then he decides to travel with a friend to Timnath where his sheep are being sheered. Sheepshearing was a time of celebration in that culture. Men were being paid for their flock. When ungodly men get paid, they often do ungodly things with some of the money. The story is told of a sheepshearer named Nabal in 1 Samuel 25. When the sheep were shaved, he threw a party fit for a king for himself and his workers (1 Samuel 25:36). The Bible says he got drunk. Sheepshearing was a time of celebration. Alcohol was almost always involved. It wouldn’t be a stretch to imagine that Judah was involved in an ungodly celebration as well.

Word gets to Tamar that Judah has gone to the sheepshearing festivities in Timnath. This seems to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back for her. She knows he has no intention of giving her what she rightly deserves. She has had to endure an awful due to this mans two ungodly sons. She has nothing in life. Judah is celebrating with his friends.

3. She devised a sinful plan.

Tamar removed her customary widows’ garments. She wrapped her face in a vail. This was a custom observed by Canaanite Temple prostitutes who were married. In the Canaanite religion engaging with the prostitutes of the Temple was encouraged during festival times because it was believed to create supernatural blessings.

Dressed as a prostitute in the city of Timnath she sat and waited for Judah. When Judah saw her, he thought she was one of the many prostitutes because her face was covered in a vail. He propositioned her. I think he was probably drunk because this seems to be an impulsive decision on his part. When she asks him how much she is going to pay him he admits he doesn’t have any money.

Judah tells her he will give her a young goat from his flock. She agrees but demands that he give her something now as collateral. He isn’t hard to convince.

She demands his signet, his bracelets and his staff. The signet was the most telling item he had. Archeologists have discovered tens of thousands of these things from that region. They were shaped like a cylinder and had an engraving on one end. This engraving made a specific imprint that served as the owner’s signature. These were tied to a rope and normally worn as a necklace.

Judah gives these things to her as collateral until he can bring a goat back for payment. Without ever removing her vail he takes her, and they are intimate.

She conceives a child. The Scripture is in no way sanctifying what she did. What she did was wrong. Yet God used this sinful action to provide a child from the tribe of Judah.

Judah, knowing he needs to get his property back sends payment to the prostitute. The problem is no one can find her. What could he do? He wasn’t going to go the police and complain that a prostitute stole his stuff. Judah said forget about it. We don’t want folks laughing at us because we were fooled by a prostitute.

Three months passed. Tamar started showing. People began to talk. Word got to Judah that Tamar was pregnant. He, thinking she had become impregnated by a fellow Canaanite was furious.

He demanded that she be brought forth and burned to death for her sin. His hypocrisy is obvious. He had just recently engaged in the same behavior she is charged with. But there is no grace found in Judah’s heart. Not to mention he had no problem killing an unborn child.

Tamar has something to say. She wants Judah to know who the father of her child is. She says “I’ll let you tell me who the father is. If you can tell me who these things belong to you will know who the father of my child is.”

She pulled out the staff, the bracelets and the signet ring. She had all the proof she needed to prove Judah was the father. How else would she have obtained such personal items from this man?

Judah confessed. He said the items she had belonged to him. He said something amazing next. He said “She is more righteous than I am.” You know what he said after that? He said, “Because I gave her not Shelah my son.”

He wasn’t excusing her sin. He was saying he set off a chain reaction of events that led to this situation. They were both sinners, but he was a worse sinner than she was.

Think about Judah. In his mind he had already killed his brother. Now he had almost killed his daughter in law and his unborn children. Tamar was pregnant with twins.

4. An unlikely outcome.

God used Tamar, even though her actions were sinful, to bring Judah back to his senses. In the Genesis narrative we see a change in him after this. In Genesis 44:33-34 Judah attempts to sell himself into slavery to the Egyptians so his brother Benjamin can go free. He said he couldn’t bear to see his father broken hearted over losing another son.

We would wonder why the Lord would even want to use Judah to bring the Messiah after his sinful actions.

He sold his brother into slavery.

He deserted his family and took up with the Canaanites

He raised two ungodly sons.

He treated an innocent woman as if she were to blame for his own lack of leadership.

He engaged with what he thought was a prostitute.

He called for the death of a woman who was charged with a sin he himself was guilty of.

But God by His grace draws Judah back to Himself. God promised him in Genesis 49:8-12

His tribe would be like a lion

His tribe would be the greatest among the tribes

His tribe would produce royalty

His tribe would be the avenue through which the Savior of the world would come.

One of Tamar’s little boys, Pharez would be the vessel God used to carry on the lineage of Judah. Ultimately Christ Himself would come through Tamar’s little boy. Revelation 5:4 calls Jesus the Lion of the Tribe of Judah. Hebrews 7:14 says “For it is evident that our Lord sprang out of Judah!”

This genealogy is important because it reminds us what the coming of Christ is all about. Christ has come to glorify Himself through the salvation of sinners.

Think about folks, if Christ allowed sinners to be His ancestors then certainly, He will allow us to be His descendants!

God grafted Tamar into His family in the same way He has grafted us. Look at our families. They are a mess. We’re like Tamar.

We have deception in our family

We have depravity in our family

We have desertion in our family

The Bible contains stories like this because they are a reflection of the sinful world, we live in.

I would imagine there came a time when Tamar looked back and wondered “How did I get in this family?” I have asked myself that question. Have you ever sat and wondered “How did I get in God’s family?” I shouldn’t be here. I should be living a life of sin. I should be cut off from God. God, by His grace has taken me in.

Here was a woman who thought she’d never have a son, and Christ became her grandson! If you haven’t been lost in the wonder of belonging to Christ, you will someday. You won’t be on heavens shores one minute before you wonder how you received such privilege.

Sinners aren’t supposed to be in the family of God!

Sinners aren’t supposed to receive the inheritance of God!

Sinners aren’t supposed to live forever!

Thank God for Christmas. Thank God Christ has come.

Aren’t you glad Jesus is called a friend of sinners!

He didn’t come to simply be our friend. He came to be our family. You may not be an ancestor of Jesus, but you can be a descendant of Jesus.

Through the blood of Christ, you can be a descendant of Jesus!

Through the new birth, you can be a descendant of Jesus!

Our family tree is a cross. All who come to Christ can be sons and daughters of the Most High through the sacrifice Jesus made for our sins. Do you belong to the Lord? Are you in His family?