Mourning and Grief

Title: Mourning and Grief

Passage: John 11

John 11:1 Now a certain man was sick, named Lazarus, of Bethany, the town of Mary and her sister Martha.

John 11:2 (It was that Mary which anointed the Lord with ointment, and wiped his feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was sick.)

John 11:3 Therefore his sisters sent unto him, saying, Lord, behold, he whom thou lovest is sick.

John 11:4 When Jesus heard that, he said, This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby.

John 11:5 Now Jesus loved Martha, and her sister, and Lazarus.

John 11:6 When he had heard therefore that he was sick, he abode two days still in the same place where he was.

John 11:7 Then after that saith he to his disciples, Let us go into Judaea again.

John 11:8 His disciples say unto him, Master, the Jews of late sought to stone thee; and goest thou thither again?

John 11:9Jesus answered, Are there not twelve hours in the day? If any man walk in the day, he stumbleth not, because he seeth the light of this world.

John 11:10 But if a man walk in the night, he stumbleth, because there is no light in him.

John 11:11 These things said he: and after that he saith unto them, Our friend Lazarus sleepeth; but I go, that I may awake him out of sleep.

John 11:12 Then said his disciples, Lord, if he sleep, he shall do well.

John 11:13 Howbeit Jesus spake of his death: but they thought that he had spoken of taking of rest in sleep.

John 11:14 Then said Jesus unto them plainly, Lazarus is dead.

Introduction:

The loss of a friend or a loved one is one of the hardest things someone goes through in life. It is something that we will all suffer through eventually. Unfortunately, the only thing that is guaranteed in this life is death, which brings with it sorrow and sadness of those left behind.

Grief can be more than the loss of a friend and loved one. We often grieve lost opportunities, mistakes and areas in our life that we have failed. These are just a few areas that we grieve but we do grieve in more than just death.

5 stages of Grief:

1. Denial

2. Anger

3. Bargaining

4. Depression

5. Acceptance

This Story is not exactly known in the timeline of history but what is known is that I was shortly before Jesus was crucified for the sins of the world. It is told right before He is about to go to the cross and I believe the significance of that is He Himself was about to be crucified for the sins of the world. He Himself would be resurrected from the dead and would conquer death. This story precludes His own and think it’s the way to encourage His disciples that He has power over death and that it is not a finality.

Body:

I. A Sick Loved One (vs. 1-10)

A. Lazarus Sick (vs. 1-3)

John 11:1 Now a certain man was sick, named Lazarus, of Bethany, the town of Mary and her sister Martha.

Lazarus was sick and it must have been very bad because he would die due this sickness and illness that was in the area.

Bethany: This was a town about 2 miles away from Jerusalem and near the mount of olives. This also means house of suffering

Mary and Martha: The sister of Lazarus and faithful friends to Jesus Christ. This was a family that Jesus spent time with, people that He loved and appreciated and people that were a blessing to him.

John 11:2 (It was that Mary which anointed the Lord with ointment, and wiped his feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was sick.)

Which Mary might be easy to ask since there were several ones that were mentioned in the Bible but the one is mentioned here is the Mary that anointed the feet of Jesus in John 12 and it is a picture almost of the embalming of Christ and the body once it is killed.

John 11:3 Therefore his sisters sent unto him, saying, Lord, behold, he whom thou lovest is sick.

The sisters called to God, they had concern for their brother and loved him dearly, they wanted to see him healthy and back to health

Lord: They knew Him as the Savior, the one come from God and did miracles among them

Whom thou lovest: Jesus loved this family was very close to them

They do not state their request, but they do not need to. Where there is a true bond of love, there is no need to request a favor; it is enough to make the need known.

B. Jesus’s Love (vs. 4-6)

John 11:4 When Jesus heard that, he said, This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby.

The meaning of this text is multidimensional. It can be understood on several levels. One sense is that the death of Lazarus was not to be the end of the story, but the glory of God would be evidenced in that Jesus was about to bring him back from the dead. In this sense the statement parallels the words of Jesus to his disciples before healing the blind man (cf. 9:3). Another sense is that the events of this story would lead inevitably to the Passover plot and the glorification of Jesus himself—his death and resurrection. But at each level the text should be interpreted to mean “on behalf” (hyper) of “the glory of God”

The word “death” here is equivalent to remaining under death, Romans 6:23. “The wages of sin is death” - permanent or unchanging death, opposed to eternal life. Jesus evidently did not intend to deny that he would die. The words which he immediately adds show that he would expire, and that he would raise him up to show forth the power and glory of God.

John 11:5 Now Jesus loved Martha, and her sister, and Lazarus.

With a very great human affection, and which was very singular and peculiar to them: these were the intimate friends, and familiar acquaintance of Christ, whom he often visited, at whose house he frequently was when in those parts; they were very hospitable to him; they kindly received him into their houses, and generously entertained him, and which he returned in love to them

This precludes before he stayed in place to reinforce that He did really love Lazarus and the ladies but stayed where He was for a Divine purpose.

C. Jesus’s Delay (vs. 6-10)

John 11:6 When he had heard therefore that he was sick, he abode two days still in the same place where he was.

Jesus had a reason behind why He stayed and that probably was because He said that this sickness would not be to death and that He and the Father would be glorified through this situation. This can come off as cruel or heartless considering that the ladies would be suffering great heart ache and pain at the loss of their brother. Lazarus himself would suffer physically and die and that would tough as well for him.

John 11:7 Then after that saith he to his disciples, Let us go into Judaea again.

They left where they were at and went to Judaea

John 11:8 His disciples say unto him, Master, the Jews of late sought to stone thee; and goest thou thither again?

What they heard next stunned them. Jesus was ready to return to Judea. Their response was an immediate reminder to Jesus of the danger that existed in Judea (11:8). The Festival of Dedication had ended with the imminent threat of stoning (10:31) or arrest (10:39). Surely, they must have reasoned, there was no need to place himself again in jeopardy. Thus, they argued with Jesus.

John 11:9 Jesus answered, Are there not twelve hours in the day? If any man walk in the day, he stumbleth not, because he seeth the light of this world.

John 11:10 But if a man walk in the night, he stumbleth, because there is no light in him.

Jesus meant to say that there was an allotted or appointed time for him to live and do his Father’s will, represented here by the 12 hours of the day.

God would defend him in this until the appointed time of his death. He had nothing to fear, therefore, in Judea from the Jews, until it was the will of God that he should die. He was safe in his hand, and he went fearlessly into the midst of his foes, trusting in him. This passage teaches us that we should be diligent to the end of life: fearless of enemies when we know that God requires us to labor, and confidently committing ourselves to Him who is able to shield us, and in whose hand, if we have a conscience void of offence, we are safe.

II. A Love One Dies (vs. 11-16)

A. Lazarus Sleeps (vs. 11-12)

John 11:11 These things said he: and after that he saith unto them, Our friend Lazarus sleepeth; but I go, that I may awake him out of sleep.

John 11:12 Then said his disciples, Lord, if he sleep, he shall do well.

Our friend: Jesus considered him their friend and anything that could be done for a friend should be. He was a friend of God’s

Jesus spoke to them that Lazarus was sleeping, which was death. Up to this point it was only said to Jesus that Lazarus was sick. Jesus Himself that this was not to death and so the disciples did not understand when Jesus said that he was sleeping and that they must go to him. Sleep helps heal the physical body but not only the physical but the spiritual. One of the most spiritual things you can do in your life is sleep and rest. When we are not rested up and ready to fight the battles that are in front of us, we will falter and fail.

B. Lazarus’s death (vs. 13-14)

John 11:13 Howbeit Jesus spake of his death: but they thought that he had spoken of taking of rest in sleep.

John 11:14 Then said Jesus unto them plainly, Lazarus is dead.

Sadly, Jesus had to speak to them very bluntly and they did not understand exactly what was taking place yet. Jesus said this sickness wasn’t unto death. That was not necessarily what they thought, because he would physically die but he would not spiritually die. He would also be raised from the dead to show them that He has power over death and the grave. This would take place shortly before His own death and should have been a way of encouragement for the disciples knowing that if Jesus could raise Lazarus from the dead that He would be able to raise Himself and them as well.

C. Lack of Faith (vs. 15-16)

John 11:15 And I am glad for your sakes that I was not there, to the intent ye may believe; nevertheless let us go unto him.

John 11:16 Then said Thomas, which is called Didymus, unto his fellowdisciples, Let us also go, that we may die with him.

Poor doubting Thomas suffered greatly with doubt in his life, yet he still followed Christ even though he thought he was going to die with him by going to Judea. Which Jesus words before said to them that He was glad that He wasn’t there when he fell sick because they had seen plenty of times how Jesus healed the sick and fed the multitudes. This however is the only place where Jesus recorded that He raised someone from the grave. This should have solidified their faith and it was meant to build their faith in Him. It makes me think of the story of the man with a young boy in Mark 9 when he cries out to Jesus to help his unbelief.

III. Mourning a Loved One (vs. 17-37)

A. Grief (vs. 17-22)

Grief: The pain of mind produced by loss, misfortune, injury or evils of any kind; sorrow; regret.

John 11:17 Then when Jesus came, he found that he had lain in the grave four days already.

Jesus’s delay may not have made any difference but rather extended the amount of time that Lazarus was in the grave. This would have added to the miracle because the longer he spent buried and dead the greater the significance of the miracle.

The general belief was that the spirit of the deceased hovered around the body for three days in anticipation of some possible means of reentry into the body. But on the third day it was believed that the body lost its color and the spirit was locked out. Therefore the spirit was obliged to enter the chambers of Sheol (the place of the dead). The passing of the third day, therefore, signaled the conclusion of the last modicum of hope for the mourners

John 11:18 Now Bethany was nigh unto Jerusalem, about fifteen furlongs off:

Fifteen furlongs: A little less than 2 miles from Jerusalem

John 11:19 And many of the Jews came to Martha and Mary, to comfort them concerning their brother.

This family was well beloved in their community and it says that many of the Jews came to their comfort.

Mourning, among the Jews, lasted about thirty days: the three first days were termed days of weeping: then followed seven of lamentation

But perhaps its primary significance for John was to indicate to the reader that this work of Jesus was witnessed by many people and therefore could not be dismissed easily by the authorities.

John 11:20 Then Martha, as soon as she heard that Jesus was coming, went and met him: but Mary sat still in the house.

Martha was the hasty one of the two sisters, she would be consumed in work and be the one that Jesus had to rebuke for working and now worshipping. She however went to Jesus maybe with a spirit of anger, frustration, and sadness. Either way she was heartbroken and upset about the situation that had taken place and she wanted to speak with Him about what had happened. She had faith in the Christ to do whatever He wanted in the will of the Father.

John 11:21 Then said Martha unto Jesus, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died.

Martha’s heartfelt statement, I would say we all make this statement and question of our heart and ask God WHY!?! If you were here, Lord my brother would not have died. Why did it take you so long? You could have just spoken words and he could have been healed.

John 11:22 But I know, that even now, whatsoever thou wilt ask of God, God will give it thee.

She knew that whatever that He asked God would be done. Whatever is necessary to our consolation that thou wilt ask, thou canst obtain. It is possible that she meant gently to intimate that he could raise him up and restore him again to them.

B. Questions (vs. 23-27)

John 11:23 Jesus saith unto her, Thy brother shall rise again.

Jesus’s answer had to spike some questions because she was looking for hope and consolation from Jesus and I am sure that this is what she wanted but had to take her slightly off guard. I know out of desperation we plead and cry out to God and ask Him for help and healing.

John 11:24 Martha saith unto him, I know that he shall rise again in the resurrection at the last day.

She knew and had an understanding of the resurrection of the dead and was a believer in this crucial and essential doctrine. This doctrine was one of the major doctrines that separated the Pharisees from the Sadducees. The day of judgment. Of this Martha was fully convinced; but this was not all which she desired. She in this manner delicately hinted what she did not presume expressly to declare her wish that Jesus might even now raise him up.

The doctrine of the resurrection of the dead was then commonly received; and though it was our Lord who fully exemplified it by his own resurrection, yet the opinion was common, not only among God’s people, but among all those who believed in the God of Israel. The Jewish writings after the captivity are full of this doctrine.

John 11:25 Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live:

John 11:26 And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this?

Thou sayest that thy brother shall rise again in the resurrection at the last day; but by whom shall he arise if not by Me, who am the author of the resurrection, and the source of life? And is it not as easy for me to raise him now as to raise him then? Thus our blessed Lord raises her hope, animates her faith, and teaches her that he was not a mere man, but the essential principle and author of existence.

Every man who has believed or shall believe in me, though his believing shall not prevent him from dying a natural death, yet his body shall be re-animated, and he shall live with me in an eternal glory. And every one who is now dead, dead to God, dead in trespasses and sins, if he believe in me, trust on me as his sole Savior, he shall live, shall be quickened by my Spirit, and live a life of faith, working by love.

John 11:27 She saith unto him, Yea, Lord: I believe that thou art the Christ, the Son of God, which should come into the world.

She was one of the few recorded people that called Jesus the Christ the Son of God who came into the world. The other person is that of Peter who called out that He was the Christ the Son of God in Matthew 16:16.

C. Mourning (vs. 28-38)

John 11:28 And when she had so said, she went her way, and called Mary her sister secretly, saying, The Master is come, and calleth for thee.

John 11:29 As soon as she heard that, she arose quickly, and came unto him.

Martha went to her sister Mary and let her know that Jesus the Master had come and had asked for her.

John 11:30 Now Jesus was not yet come into the town, but was in that place where Martha met him.

She had heard that He was drawing near and got up and met Him outside the city. She could not wait for Him to get there; she came to where He was to talk with Him and seek the encouragement and blessing she needed.

John 11:31 The Jews then which were with her in the house, and comforted her, when they saw Mary, that she rose up hastily and went out, followed her, saying, She goeth unto the grave to weep there.

The audience would grow and testify to what was about to take place at the grave site of her brother Lazarus. Her heart break was so severe that it caused her a lot of anguish and heart break.

John 11:32 Then when Mary was come where Jesus was, and saw him, she fell down at his feet, saying unto him, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died.

Like Martha did Mary pleaded to Jesus but she threw herself down at His feet, (she saw Him, she went to Him) She said the same thing that was on the heart of Martha. If you were just here! This is similar to our hearts, WHY!?! IF ONLY!

John 11:33 When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews also weeping which came with her, he groaned in the spirit, and was troubled,

Jesus loved Martha and Mary was heartbroken over their hurt and anguish for their brother. They Bible said that she was weeping which was a crying which was with sorrow and grief for the loss of their loved one Lazarus.

The word rendered “groaned,” here, commonly denotes to be angry or indignant, or to reprove severely, denoting violent agitation of mind. Here it also evidently denotes violent agitation - not from anger, but from grief. He saw the sorrow of others, and he was also moved with sympathy and love. The word “groan” usually, with us, denotes an expression of internal sorrow by a special sound. The word here, however, does not mean that utterance was given to the internal emotion, but that it was deep and agitating, though internal.

John 11:34 And said, Where have ye laid him? They said unto him, Lord, come and see.

Jesus wanted to see where Lazarus laid

John 11:35 Jesus wept.

The shortest verse of the Bible but probably the most profound. This shows His humanity right before He is about to show His Deity. God is 100% man and 100% God at the same time. He is sympathetic to our heart break and heart ache. The reason we die is due to sin and it has severed us with God until Christ died on the cross and paid the price for the resurrection of the dead. He wept for those who loved Lazarus and for their grief.

John 11:36 Then said the Jews, Behold how he loved him!

John 11:37 And some of them said, Could not this man, which opened the eyes of the blind, have caused that even this man should not have died?

Every minister will have his scoffers and Jesus was no different. They mocked at Him because they said that He restored a blind man’s eyes, and this man should not have died. Jesus purposely waited for him to die and be placed in the grave for four days before arrived for the resurrection of Lazarus.

John 11:38 Jesus therefore again groaning in himself cometh to the grave. It was a cave, and a stone lay upon it.

D. Peace (vs. 39-38)

John 11:39 Jesus said, Take ye away the stone. Martha, the sister of him that was dead, saith unto him, Lord, by this time he stinketh: for he hath been dead four days.

Jesus commanded the stone to be rolled away from the opening so that he could have access Lazarus. He had been dead so long that he was going to stink.

John 11:40 Jesus saith unto her, Said I not unto thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God?

So it appears that it is faith alone that interests the miraculous and saving power of God in behalf of men.

John 11:41 Then they took away the stone from the place where the dead was laid. And Jesus lifted up his eyes, and said, Father, I thank thee that thou hast heard me.

John 11:42 And I knew that thou hearest me always: but because of the people which stand by I said it, that they may believe that thou hast sent me.

Jesus calls out and thanks God the father for hearing Him and answering His prayer for Lazarus to come out and be resurrected from the grave.

John 11:43 And when he thus had spoken, he cried with a loud voice, Lazarus, come forth.

John 11:44 And he that was dead came forth, bound hand and foot with graveclothes: and his face was bound about with a napkin. Jesus saith unto them, Loose him, and let him go.

He cried out and Lazarus came forth and was raised from the dead and they looked at him come out in his grave cloths. The multiple of witnesses was there, and they saw Jesus the Son of God call out and release Lazarus from the grave. They soon would see the stone rolled away and Jesus Himself coming out of the grave and have victory over death and the grave with the sacrifice He would pay for on the cross.

The Lord is there help and to heal, in the instance of the believers we know that we will be united with Christ at death. We as believers have the hope, peace and security that comes with being a believer and that is to be absent from this body we are present with God. Christ Jesus paid the death of sin. He gives peace and help when we need it the most in our life and during those times when we are hurting and in need of help.

Conclusion:

I. A Sick Loved One (vs. 1-10)

II. A Love One Dies (vs. 11-16)

III. Mourning a Loved One (vs. 17-37)

We find our peace and hope in God and He helps us heal the pain of loved one that left us and went before us. God loves us, He cares for us and has great concern for us and our wellbeing. We also need to find our peace in those instances where we are grieving over heartache from other areas of life. Loss of missed opportunities, friendships that have fallen apart etc. Jesus came to this earth and He was God and He suffered grief and heartache like we have. We gain the strength that we need daily from God and we can come boldly to Him because He knows our flesh and our emotions. He knows our weakness and how we suffer by such limited sight of this world.

By no means am I an expert on this topic. I would encourage an outlet for grief for the health of the soul.

1. Go to God in prayer

2. Go to God’s word

3. Talk to others

4. Have a community

5. Express your grief healthily

It is well with my soul was a Hymn written when the writer suffered a lot, and much grief overtook him.

This hymn was written after traumatic events in Spafford's life. The first two were the death of his four-year-old son and the Great Chicago Fire of 1871, which ruined him financially (he had been a successful lawyer and had invested significantly in property in the area of Chicago that was extensively damaged by the great fire). His business interests were further hit by the economic downturn of 1873, at which time he had planned to travel to England with his family on the SS Ville du Havre, to help with D. L. Moody’s upcoming evangelistic campaigns. In a late change of plan, he sent the family ahead while he was delayed on business concerning zoning problems following the Great Chicago Fire. While crossing the Atlantic Ocean, the ship sank rapidly after a collision with a sea vessel, the Loch Earn, and all four of Spafford's daughters died. His wife Anna survived and sent him the now famous telegram, "Saved alone …". Shortly afterwards, as Spafford traveled to meet his grieving wife, he was inspired to write these words as his ship passed near where his daughters had died. Bliss called his tune Ville du Havre, from the name of the stricken vessel.