Born to Die
Robert Timms Timms 1
Deb Siltman
Introduction to Adult Studies
11 Oct. 2008
“Born to Die, Born to live”
I was born may 2, 1959. I was born on a Saturday at St. Johns Hospital in Springfield, IL. I am the third child and second son of Charles and Wanda Timms. The hospital room had been prepared for my delivery. It had been prepped for the anticipated arrival of a child into the world. The technicians, nurses, doctors and staff were all in place to perform their various functions. When the labor pangs were at their peak and the natural incubation period had run its’ course, I came forth into this world from the womb of my mother. Twenty-seven years later I was born again. This new birth did not have earthly witnesses or preparation like the first birth. This birth had not been foreseen or even anticipated, as did the first birth. It wasn’t in a controlled environment where trained staff could apply their skills for delivery. It wasn’t on a Saturday, but one Friday night; in the year of 1986, I was born from the womb of God. The passage of infancy to a twenty-seven year old adult was a journey traveled and understood from a natural mindset, but this second journey is a spiritual journey.
That Friday night in 1986, I asked Jesus to come into my life. I admitted I was a sinner and I believe him to be the Son of God, the savior of the world. That night I died to the world and was born again; still in the world but no longer of the world. I know it may sound contradictory, but let me explain. I realize during my physical and biological development, I was in an environment suitable for that development. My mother’s womb was the enclosure, the environment that sustained me as I developed physically. She provided shelter, safety, nourishment and protection. Everything needful for my physical development was contained in the womb. My life line was the umbilical chord. The chord was the means by which the necessary nutrients were transferred from mother to child. But when the time came for delivery, I died to that environment, the connection was severed; the chord was cut, and I passed from one realm into another. I thank God my mother is still alive and is fully healthy. But I am no longer able to survive in the realm of my original development. Here we have a contrast of passages. One passage, or birth was natural, the other is spiritual.
The journey began in 1986. I became a member of Zion Missionary Baptist Church. I continued to develop as I attended and grew in the word. Development leads to change and as I developed, I did change. My attitude changed, my perspective on life changed. My temperament and commitments changed as I continued to serve God and to serve people. I immersed myself into the bible, attended Sunday school, and became involved in different ministries. I served in the choir, served as van driver, attended bible study, prayer meeting and before long the pastor appointed me to the deacon ministry. My family began to recognize the need for their own change. My wife accepted Christ as Savior that same year. We continued to serve at Zion for four years until we moved our membership to Pleasant Grove Baptist Church. We continued to grow in grace and serve there and in 1996 the pastor moved to another church in Indiana. I also served as Deacon at Pleasant Grove. In the meantime certain people wanted to know why we moved our membership from Zion to Pleasant Grove and some even assumed it was for some negative reason, but the move had nothing to do with negativity. I couldn’t explain it, other than I knew it was time to change and I knew we were where we were supposed to be. I continued to serve at Pleasant Grove in pretty much the same capacities as I did at out previous church. Things were going well. I worked for Springfield Public schools. My wife was working for the State of Illinois. We were gainfully employed, but as I continued to serve and study and grow I felt as though something was still incomplete something was missing.
On August 5, 2000 I was mowing the lawn as I usually did on Saturdays. And as I was mowing I started thinking and marveling about Gods goodness, and how he has blessed our family and our lives. I was thinking about the way he had taken over my life and changed everything within me. I suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of praise and awe, realizing what he has done for us, understanding who he is, and what he has done in our lives. I began to cry. Tears just started to flow, I had such an overwhelming sense of; something, I didn’t know and still don’t know how to describe what was happening to me or what I felt, other than to say I was filled with his Spirit. After I came out of it and realized what I was doing, I looked around to see if anyone else was around. I was wondering what folk would think if they saw me riding around in the yard, on a lawn mower with tears streaming down my cheeks. Later that night while I was in prayer I asked God, why is it, when things are going so well in my life, when I think about you in solitude tears begin to flow? The words that came to me were “you know”. Honestly speaking, I did know. He had been urging, and nudging, and tugging me for months. I kept saying to myself,”not me”. I have introverted tendencies. I’m not one who stands out in the crowd, I’d rather get lost in the crowd”. Honestly and regretfully speaking, I didn’t want to do, what I knew in my heart I should do. I actually said “I don’t want to” and these words came to me in response, “you have to”. In the beginning I resisted his call, but this divine mental revelation was clearer than ever. I understood and accepted the authority and the finality of his command and direct order to me. At that moment I yielded to the conviction of my heart to accept the call to the gospel ministry and preach his word. When I heard the words “you have to”, there was no mistaking the power of authority of this command. He wasn’t asking me if I wanted to, he was telling me I had to. The truth of the matter is I had been trying to avoid the beckon, to run from the call. I tried to justify myself by using the excuse of serving as deacon was enough. I knew I would never be at rest or at peace if I didn’t submit to his call.
On august 6, 2000, I acknowledged to the congregation of Pleasant Grove and my pastor that I had submitted to the divine mental revelation, to preach the word of God. Later that month I preached my trial sermon at Pleasant Grove and was licensed on January 7, 2001. The first experiences after yielding to the call were very rewarding and eye-opening experiences. The awesome responsibility of rightly dividing the word of God requires study and commitment. James D. Berkley says “the charge to ‘rightly divide the word of God’ ought to make the stoutest Pastors’ heart quake – and sing as well”. Many lives are at stake and souls are at risk. On July 29, 2001 I was ordained by an ordination council consisting of seven pastors representing various congregations from throughout the United States. A portion of the charge from that council was to remain under the tutelage of my pastor while seeking to study and develop the gifts and skills as God provides the avenue. My pastor recommended attendance of an expository preaching and teaching seminar he was familiar with. This seminar is held in Los Angeles California. For the next five years I was able to attend the W.H.W Expository Preaching and Teaching Seminar. Recently God has allowed me to also enroll in this school to continue in my quest to be thoroughly equipped for the ministry at hand. As this journey continues, my hope, my prayer, my goal is to continue to develop the skills and continue to “stir up the gift” that is in me. My prayer, my hope, my goal is to be able to be used by God more and more. Christian education is the stage of the journey that I’m in right now. The Bible is the authority of Christian education. According to James Emery White “the Bible is not to be read like any other book, this is a book to be obeyed”. He goes on to say “The Bible alone calls for complete and utter submission of life and thought”. We all have our personal journeys and I am convinced secular school wasn’t in the path of my journey; because the voice of authority is not in knowledge alone. The voice of authority is the Bible. Billy Graham says “millions of people are searching for a reliable voice of authority” the Bible is the authority. As my Christian journey continues, my hope my prayer, my goal is to continue to develop the skills and “stir up the gift” that is in me. My goal is complete and utter submission of my life and my thoughts unto the word of God and his will. I hope to increase Bible knowledge through continuing education here at LCCS, as I continue to rely on God for confidence, encouragement, and conformation concerning his will for my life. One day this journey also will end, and there will be yet another transition from this realm into another. I will die to this environment physically, and transition into a fixed and eternal state (unless Jesus comes back before then), because we are born to die, born to live again.