06-02-05 The Bond of Brotherhood

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The Bond of Brotherhood

1 Samuel 28-31


  1. Announce that because of the efforts of God’s people -- at the end of January NBC cancelled the “Book of Daniel” show after running only 3 of 8 episodes. That is being salt and light!
  2. We are in the midst of studying the first 3 earthly kings of Israel. We have looked at Saul and now are watching David’s life
  3. There is a fear of male brotherhood in our culture. It has been fostered by misleading media images, by the rise of homosexuality and by confused cultural values. At the same time and for the same reasons the sisterhood of women is also threatened.

What I want to say:  As God was preparing David for the great responsibilities of kingship, He used a friend to equip him for the tasks ahead. Today we will see the deep value of friendship in a life.

I.       Friendship grows in common pursuits (18:1-5)

A.    Mutual interests draw people together

1.    Jonathan was a brave soldier and he admired David for his courage (he had just taken on Goliath); his love of God; his defense of Israel.

2.    Common interests bind people together

3.    This is why the Church is such a wonderful place as people with varied interests, skills and backgrounds come together for the common purpose of honoring God and bringing people to know Christ.

4.    Nothing makes me feel more encouraged than to hear two of our people who did not know one another before coming to GNBC working together on a project or going out for dinner.

B.    Friends identify with one another (:4)

1.    David and Jonathan made a covenant of friendship

ILLUS> when my cousin and I decided to become “blood brothers”

2.    Jonathan gave his royal robes, armor and sword to David

3.    From that time on David was viewed as a member of the royal household

4.    This was tantamount to admitting that David would be king

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends. John 15:13 ESV

5.    Consider what Jesus, the Prince of Heaven, did for you

a)    He came to you and offered His righteousness (robe) as a covering for you.

b)    When you trust in Him you are forever after viewed in Him. Your Father in heaven looks at you and sees you in His Son.

… when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God. Galatians 4:4-7 ESV


II.    A Friend defends his friend (Chapter 20)

A.    Friendship allows freedom of expression (:1-10)

1.    A friend can air his frustration to a friend

2.    A friend can know the worst about you and still love you

Iron sharpens iron,

and one man sharpens another.  Proverbs 27:17 ESV

3.    If your friendships cannot bear disagreement or wrestle with the problems of life, it is not as deep as you think.

B.    A friend will keep his word

Film clip: The Fellowship of the Ring – 2:45:25 to 2:47:37

1.    The real test of friendship is the keeping of promises

C.   A friend can affirm his love for his friend (:12-17)

1.    in our day when films such as “Brokeback Mountain” are pressed upon us as if they portray some deep truth, we need to be on guard against accepting homosexuality as normal when in reality it has twisted and corrupted the relationships of men and women.

2.    There is a manliness that has no fear of expressing deep commitment to another man without crossing the boundaries of morality.

3.    It is good that real men can express their love for one another beyond “I love you, man” (remember the beer commercials?)

4.    David and Jonathan were not having a homosexual relationship. If you have heard that or believed it you have believed a lie. How do I know? Simple logic.

a)    God has clearly and unequivocally denounced homosexuality as a perversion of His design.

‘You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination. Leviticus 18:22 NASB95

Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.1 Corinthians 6:9-11 ESV


b)    The Bible is never shy about condemning the sins of any person.

c)    David could not be a “man after God’s own heart” if he was living in open or secret sin. If David and Jonathan had been having a homosexual relationship it would have been revealed and condemned.

D.   A friend will warn a friend of danger (:18-42)

A friend loves at all times,

And a brother is born for adversity. Proverbs 17:17 NASB95

1.    It reveals the depth of Jonathan’s commitment to God’s will to realize that Jonathan was more interested in doing God’s will than in protecting his own kingdom.

2.    Trouble is the test of true friendship. When a friend falls, his true friends are there to lift him up and if necessary, to defend him.

3.    Jonathan warned David of his father’s wrath.

4.    Do you have a friend who is flirting with sin or who is allowing some thing in his life that will harm him? You are a true friend only if you warn him. I know this puts friendship at risk but what good are you if you cannot guard your friend from harm?

III.   A friend is an encourager (23:16-18)

A.    A friend will take risks for his friend

1.    Jonathan went to where David was hiding to encourage him. He went out of his way to care for the soul of his friend.

ILLUS> When I have been in difficulty I have had friends come to me to meet me for lunch just to listen and to encourage me to press on.

One of those friends is Dr. Wayne Hopkins. When GNBC was struggling, he met with me and told me to press on. I will always value that time.

Another time a man from GNBC met me for breakfast to deliver one message: “Even if everyone else leaves GNBC, I and my family will remain.”

B.    When a friend is in despair, his friend will turn his hopes to God (:16)

1.    he reminded David of God’s past faithfulness

SHOW drawing> outside Doubting Castle

ILLUS> Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress – in the dungeon in Doubting Castle home of the Giant Despair.


2.    If you want to help your friend in trouble, recall the evidences of God’s faithfulness in his life.

3.    Jonathan was a fellow who held the powers of earth loosely. He affirmed David’s claim to the throne (:17)

IV.  Friendship endures beyond death (2 Samuel 1:17-27; 9:1-13)

A.    The heart that is in tune with God’s heart grieves over what grieves God

1.    David lamented Saul and Jonathan’s deaths

a)    Why did David mourn Saul?

b)    He knew how Saul grieved the heart of God

c)    David was not arrogant in victory

2.    (:24) he warned the Philistine women not to rejoice over the falling of Saul

B.    The love of a friend is astounding (:25)

1.    Those who want to portray David and Jonathan as homosexual lovers pick up on two places:

a)    When Jonathan gave David his robe (it was his royal robe not all his clothes.)

b)    This statement that Jonathan’s love was more wonderful than that of a woman.

2.    How was Jonathan’s love more wonderful than that of a woman?

a)    The Hebrew word translated “wonderful” is also translated describing a “wonder” or miracle (Judges 13:19)

b)    The wonder of Jonathan’s love for David was that in being David’s friend, he was giving up his throne

c)    David had known the love of a mother and wives who would sacrifice for him but what Jonathan did in giving up his throne was far beyond that kind of love.

d)    Where would he ever find such a friend again?

C.   A friend cares for that which is his friend’s (2 Samuel 9:1-13)

1.    David kept his promise to Jonathan and found a son of Jonathan to care for.

ILLUS> Before C.S. Lewis and his friend, Paddy Moore, went to fight is WWI, Moore asked Lewis to care for his mother and sister if anything should happen to him. Moore died in battle and Lewis kept his promise and cared for Mrs. Moore for more than thirty years until her death in 1951. That is the well-kept promise of a friend.

2.    How do you care for the things of your friends?


A. Friendship is God’s powerful gift to make this life bearable.  Do you treasure your friendships and cultivate them?

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