The Law & Divorce

In the previous section Jesus taught us that adultery is not limited to the physical act. Those who lust in their heart for someone other than their spouse commit adultery in their heart. Here He goes even farther to show us another way that adultery was being committed. It was being committed through unrighteous divorce and remarriage. In pointing out this sin He was identifying a very common practice of the culture in which He lived. Once again, Jesus is dealing with a very taboo subject. In verses 27-30 He teaches on lust, adultery and hell. We hear little of those subjects in our pulpits today. Now He deals with divorce. And this is His first sermon!! Jesus may not be as popular as we think if He were to preach in some of our churches today.

Jesus clarifies the Law

Jesus deals with the subject of divorce in Matthew 19 as well. It’s important to hear all that Jesus says about divorce to properly understand His teaching on the subject. In 19:4-6 He takes us all the way back to the first marriage. He lays down some important truths.

* God instituted marriage (19:4). He picked the couple, the place of the wedding, and He was the only One in attendance at the ceremony other than the bride and groom. Because God instituted marriage no one else has the right to redefine it.

* Marriage unites two people into one (19:6). In the first marriage this truth was literally both physical and spiritual. The Lord removed a piece of Adam and formed Eve out of it (Gen. 2:21-22). In every subsequent marriage this is a spiritual union. It is more than a certificate or a ring that unites a married couple. I believe it is an actual blending of two people of sorts. I think God in a very real way God unites two people when they are married. I can’t explain this very well. We use cliques to help us understand this union. “She has my heart” or “That’s my soul mate” are popular cliques we hear. The union is obvious after a divorce occurs. We live with memories of the person, bitterness and even a concern for their welfare. As well the fact that the overwhelming majority of people who are divorced cannot be friends shows us that something more dramatic than the removal of a wedding band has happened between them.

* Only God has the right to dissolve a marriage (19:7). The quote Jesus references is from Gen. 2:24. Because God is the one who instituted marriage and joins the two spiritually, only He has the right to dissolve that union. Man/woman cannot take it upon themselves to undo what God has done. We do not have the right

God permitted divorce in the Old Testament. Jesus recognizes this in Matthew 19:8-9. Here He is referencing Deuteronomy 24:1-4. This passage more than anything, regulates divorce. Let’s consider some truths.

1) Moses did not command anyone to get a divorce. There is only one case in Scripture where anyone was commanded to divorce. In Ezra 10:3-5 the people were commanded to put away their “strange wives”. The people had intermarried with the pagans of the area. God was rebuilding the Jewish nation and it was important that the people be separate and pure. It was through this group that He would bring the Messiah.

Jesus corrects the Pharisees wording in 19: 8. He uses the word “suffered” in His reply (19:9). God simply allowed divorce in extreme circumstances. Because it was allowed it needed to be regulated. The husband, if he decided to get a divorce, was to give the wife “a bill of divorcement”. This legal document proved that the man and wife were no longer married.

2) Divorce was allowed because of the hardness of the people’s hearts. Defining this phrase is important. I think that the only consistent way to define it is to link it to the sexual immorality. It could be linked in two ways.

*Sexual immorality was committed and the innocent party simply cannot continue in the relationship with the guilty party. This is understandable from a human standpoint. Once trust is violated to that degree it is difficult to get it back.

* The sexual immorality in itself was caused by the “hardness of heart”. Sin causes us to lose morals and indulge in terrible things. Some of those things destroy relationships.

3) Divorce was not God’s original plan. “But from the beginning it was not so”. Sin is not something that God commands either, yet he makes provision for it. The Jews were to perform certain sacrifices as a result of their sin. The instructions of God in those sacrifices do not mean that God condones sin. He simply knows that it will happen and gives man instructions on how to deal with it when it does.

The Law and Remarriage

Jesus states in 5:32 that divorce can cause a person to “commit adultery”. The assumption was that the woman who was unjustly divorced would eventually remarry. It’s interesting that Jesus lays the blame of the adultery at the feet of the man who unjustly divorced his wife. Jesus point is that unjust divorce begins a vicious cycle that entangles many people into a net of sin. The Pharisees understood the Law to teach that a legal divorce allowed a person to remarry. In Jesus day there were basically two schools of thought on legal divorce. These two schools were led by two different Rabbi’s.

* Rabbi Shammai was the conservative of the two. He taught that divorce was only permissible as the result of gross indecency. It did not have to be necessarily adultery; it could just be a serious moral failure.

* Hillel was the liberal one. He taught that a man could divorce his wife for basically any reason at all. If he no longer wanted her he could simply give her a bill of divorcement. In Jesus day, divorce could only be demanded by the husband.

The people were split between these views. That is why the Pharisees tried to bring Jesus into the argument in Matthew 19:3. The culture had made it easy for anyone to get a divorce and therefore easier for a person to be remarried. In John chapter 4 a woman is mentioned who had been married five times!

In Matthew 5:32 Jesus makes it clear that a person can be divorced in the eyes of God.. This is commonly called “the exception clause”. The question logically follows then; can a person who has been divorced be remarried? There are basically four views on this subject.

* Divorce is never permitted therefore remarriage is never permitted.

* Re-Marriage is always permitted.

* Divorce is sometimes permitted but remarriage is never permitted.

* Divorce is sometimes permitted, and remarriage is allowed under certain circumstances.

To save us time, I’ll just skip to what I believe is the most Scriptural of the views. Divorce is sometimes allowed and therefore remarriage is sometimes allowed.

*Divorce and remarriage is allowed in the case of sexual immorality. The word “fornication” is used here. It is “porneia” and can refer generically to any type of sexual immorality. The context suggests that it is adultery. In the Old Testament the penalty for divorce was death (Lev. 20:10). Therefore, adultery dissolved a marriage. A woman or man was free to marry after their spouse was dead. The bill of divorcement in Moses day and the exception clause in Jesus day were nothing more than God’s grace to the offender. Stoning did not always take place. Sometimes grace was extended. If grace is offered to the offender, then it must obviously be offered to the offended as well. God allows remarriage when sexual immorality destroys a marriage.

* Divorce and remarriage is allowed when a spouse is deserted. Paul clarified for us even more in 1 Cor. 7:15. He explained that when a spouse is deserted, they are no longer bound by the marriage bond. If that person is not bound, they are obviously free. Free to what? Free to remarry.

* Remarriage is allowed when a divorced person becomes a Christian. I want to add this because I think it is important. If possible, the believer should try and reunite with their former spouse. If this cannot or should not be done that person should not think they must remain single. 2 Cor. 5:17 declares that we are new creations in Christ Jesus. I believe that person is free to remarry.

God allows remarriage for a number of reasons.

1) He does not wish to punish the innocent party.

2) To keep people from committing sexual immorality (1 Cor. 7:2).

3) To extend His grace and renewal in the lives of sinners.

The Pain of Divorce

In verses 31-32 everyone involved was hurt. The guilty party, the innocent party and the new party are all hurt. In our day of no- fault divorce we need to consider this. Divorce hurts. It is the result of hardened hearts and sexual immorality. Almost all divorces occur because of lustful thoughts toward another person or lusting after a new lifestyle. In the beginning it seems exciting and liberating. However, it often turns out to be depressing and enslaving. Our kids suffer, our communities suffer, and even our economy suffers because of divorce. Our culture is far too permissive in the area of divorce. Love of self has hurled us into a high divorce rate. The latest statistics on divorce in America are:

First Marriages: 42-45 percent will terminate with a divorce as the result.

Second Marriages: 60 percent will terminate with a divorce as the result.

Third Marriages: 73 percent will terminate with a divorce as the result.

As believers we should recognize the sanctity of marriage. It’s not our job to endure our marriage but to protect it and deepen it so that it shows forth the relationship of Christ and His church. Don’t buy the lie that divorce helps, it hurts. If you are considering divorce, consider the pain. Divorce is sometimes warranted, and even sometimes necessary. However, it is always painful

The church also needs to recognize the pain that those who are divorced are feeling. Far too often we have been too judgmental about the divorced. In John 8:7 Jesus commanded that the one without sin throw the first stone at the woman caught in adultery. The woman had no husband there to protect her probably because she was not married. If we were truthful we would say that we have not been the perfect spouse. Jesus proved us all to be adulterers at heart and murderers. We should extend mercy to the divorced because it is only the grace of God that has kept our marriage together.

It may be that we need to forgive a former spouse or person who caused our own divorce or the divorce of someone we love. Unforgiveness is painful. It is painful for the offender and the offended. That pain can be relived through the simple words “I forgive you”.

Finally, we need to teach people about God’s view on marriage and divorce. Ignorance can be painful. Our culture doesn’t have a clue about marriage. We need to teach God’s word and model His commandments by having a Christ like marriage.He lived, and the culture