06PM April 23 Ephesians 5 22_6 9
April 23, 2006—Evening Worship
“The Glorious Grace of God” Series – Part 16
The Christian Family
Vital Roles to Greater Harmony
Ephesians 5:22-6:9
Intro: Tension – Pressure – Awkward – Uneasy – Discontent – Disinterest – Impatient – Unhappy. Unfortunately, these are words that some couples use to describe their marriage. These are words that are used to describe family life. These are words that are used to communicate disharmony in the home.
& what’s worse is, that these are words that far too many Christian families are using today more & more frequently in the description of their home life. What is to be done? How can this trend be reversed? What steps are necessary to build harmony rather than disharmony; to build peace rather than pressure; to build euphoria rather than unhappiness?
In the pre & post martial counseling that I’ve done over the years, I’ve stated many times that under the best of conditions it takes 2 people to make a marriage work! One person, no matter how dedicated or how determined they may be to making the marriage strong, cannot do it alone! Marriage must be a team effort!
That’s why it’s so vitally important for everyone in a family to carry their load; to shoulder their responsibility; to work at making the marriage & family strong. Some may tell you that marriages are made in heaven – but even so – we are responsible for the maintenance work. Your role in the marriage & in the family is your greatest & most important task; position; responsibility – period!
God gave us the institution of marriage & the family & we should never let it be undermined by the culture in which we live! & one way that we can ensure the existence & endurance of the family is to be exemplary models on display for the world to see! Therefore, it is VITAL – the role that you play in the harmony of the family! & Paul addresses that very thing in the last part of chapter 5 & the 1st part of chapter 6 in the book of Ephesians.
Since this is a rather large passage of Scripture, we’ll take it a bit at a time as we cover the main points found in the text. So let’s begin where the leadership of the Holy Spirit took Paul 1st -- & that is…
1. The Role of the Wife in Christ. (5:22-24; 33b) 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; & He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything…33b…& let the wife see that she respects her husband.
- These 3½ verses have been the subject of much debate, especially in recent history.
- Many say that Christianity wants to subject women to men; it wants to keep women down; it wants to lord authority over them & make them 2nd class to men.
- However, that’s simply not the truth! This is not about power at all – but about order.
- These vv. speak of a wife’s…
A. Willing Submission. (vv. 22-24)
- A couple of weeks ago, when we looked at v. 21, which says, 21 submitting to one another in the fear of God, we said that the word “submitting” was a Greek military term meaning "to arrange [troop divisions] in a military fashion under the command of a leader."
- & in non-military use, it was "a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, & carrying a burden."
- The same Greek word is used in v. 22 as well & it means the same thing.
- So v. 21 tells us that we should be mutually submitting to one another & v. 22 tells wives they should submit to their own husbands.
- v. 21 says we should all submit “in the fear of God” & v. 22 says that wives should submit “as to the Lord.”
- In neither case does the Bible command “blind, absolute or forced” submission.
- In fact, a wife’s submission to her husband is to be done w/the same willingness w/which she submits to the Lord.
- This is, as the word implies, a voluntary attitude of giving in or cooperating.
- In the same way that a woman would submit to God she should submit to her husband as he follows God.
[Now I saw a commercial the other day for the new CD by Toby Keith. Toby Keith is a country music “star” whose latest CD is titled, “Poor White Trash” & the hit single is titled, “Let’s Get Drunk & Be Somebody.” (Why people listen to this stuff is beyond me.) But if a husband made that statement to his wife, she would be under no obligation to obey. Why? B/c in obeying her husband, she would be disobeying her Lord.]
- Again, we are not talking about simply following orders but creating an atmosphere of order in the home as ordained by God.
- W/o order there is chaos & chaos leads to resentment & strife.
- In every situation, someone has to be the leader & God has ordained that men should be the leaders in the home.
- So the wife willing yields herself to her husband’s leadership as he follows the Lord, in the same way that she yields herself to the Lord’s leadership.
- But these vv. also speak of a wife’s…
B. Working Respect. (v. 33b) 33b…& let the wife see that she respects her husband.
- IOW the wife is to have an admiration or high opinion of her husband.
- She is to treat him w/esteem; she is to reverence or honor him w/the respect that someone in a leadership position is due.
- After all, the Bible says that her husband is the head of the home & that he is to be afforded respect.
- In the context of that v., the Apostle Paul writes about the mystery of the church & simply says that each one is to ensure that her husband is respected, just as Christ is by the church.
- But you say, “What about love? Are we not to love our husbands—just respect them?”
- The Bible here assumes you love your husband or you wouldn’t be married to him.
- The Bible also tells us to love God w/all our hearts, minds, strength & souls & yet it still tells us to respect Christ by giving Him the honor & reverence His is due.
- & so the wife is to respect her husband & that means he must be respectable!
- Now the role of the wife in Christ is to be willingly submissive & actively working toward respecting her own husband.
- But the Bible also tells us of…
2. The Role of the Husband in Christ. (5:25-33a; 6:4) 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church & gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify & cleanse her w/the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy & w/o blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes & cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh & of His bones. 31 "For this reason a man shall leave his father & mother & be joined to his wife, & the two shall become one flesh." 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ & the church. 33a Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself…
- Here the husband’s task is to follow…
A. The Example of Christ. (vv. 25-33a)
- In the vv. we just read, Paul is comparing the role of the husband w/the role Christ played in our salvation, justification & ultimate glorification.
- The mystery that he speaks about is Christ & the church & Paul’s point is that the husband is to so love his wife that there is absolutely nothing he would not do for her.
- He is to provide for her & protect her. He is to do whatever is necessary for her to meet her needs.
- I don’t mean that husbands should put their wives on pedestals, but they should care for them in the same way that Christ cared for His body the church.
- That’s what Paul means in vv. 28-31 (READ).
- He is comparing the example of Christ w/the role of the husband in caring for his wife.
- I really believe that if more husbands grasp the truth of their role – that more wives would willingly follow their leadership.
- & in v. 33 the Bible tells us that each one in particular is to so love his own wife as himself.
- IOW you are to demonstrate your love by doing & not by saying.
- Jesus could have just said, “I love the church” & never died for His bride. But how would that have made a difference?
- Husbands are to follow the example of Christ & demonstrate love by doing; by action.
- Not only is the husband to follow the example of Christ, but he is responsible for…
B. The Education of his children. (6:4) 6 4 & you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training & admonition of the Lord.
- As a father, you are not to be so strict on your children that they cannot obey your rules.
- IOW don’t set the bar so high that it cannot be obtained.
- You must direct the children to follow as you lead. They will see what you do. & what you demand of them must be reasonable.
- In that way you teach them to obey the Father in Heaven.
- & it is the responsibility of the father to bring up his children “in the training & admonition of the Lord.”
- The word translated “training” means “chastening, nurture or instruction.”
- It literally means “the whole training & education of children relating to the cultivation of mind & morals, & reproof & punishment. It also includes the training & care of the body.”
- All this is to be done in the “admonition of the Lord.”
- IOW to train them in mind & morals to follow the Lord & put Him 1st in all things.
- Too often, the spiritual education of children is left either to the wife or the children themselves.
- But the Bible says that it’s the father’s role & responsibility as head of the home.
- Paul naturally moves from the roles of mothers & fathers to…
3. The Role of Children. (6:1-3)
- Children are…
A. Commanded to obey. (v. 1) 6 1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
- Children of all ages have the responsibility to obey their parents.
- We are responsible before God to follow His word & His will & it’s up to us to obey this command.
- We are all someone’s child. & that means that we are to honor our own parents as an act of worship before God.
- It’s not just limited to small, young children & youth! It’s all of us!
- So if you follow the Lord’s directions; if you follow His prescription for life, then you will be blessed!
- It means that, as you follow the Lord’s leadership, you will be walking by faith in Him; you will be following Him according to His plan & God blesses that!
- The v. is a present active imperative which means that children must always obey their parents b/c it’s right.
- The word means “upright or righteous.”
- It’s right to obey parents in the Lord b/c it demonstrates obedience to His word & will.
- This is the will of God. The nature of the relationship w/parents & the moral order of society depend on submission to authority.
- Parents are representatives of God; they are responsible to God; they are a reflection of God.
- Therefore, they are to be honored, upheld, esteemed & obeyed.
- Children are commanded to obey & children are…
B. Compensated w/promise. (vv. 2-3) 2 "Honor your father & mother," which is the first commandment w/promise: 3 "that it may be well w/you & you may live long on the earth."
- Children who disrespect, disobey, & despise their parents will be judged by God.
- He is the One who decides whose days are prolonged. He is the One who grants His grace on those who are obedient & He is the One who visits punishment & trial & problem & affliction on those who are disobedient.
- Notice the repetition of the words “your” & “you” in these vv.
- That makes it very personal doesn’t it?
- It helps us to see that it applies directly to us!
- Children who honor & obey their parents are promised prolonged days, prosperous days & pleasurable days.
- Now that does not mean that everything in your life will go smoothly.
- It does not mean that you will never experience problems in life.
- But it does mean that God’s grace will be upon your life.
- Many believers go through extremely difficult days & yet they do so w/joy in their hearts b/c of God’s grace!
- All we have is b/c of God’s grace & if we follow His word – we will receive His promises!
- We’ve been talking about the Christian family tonight, & we now come to a section that talks about the extended family.
- & so Paul tells us about…
4. The Role of Employees & Employers. (6:5-9)
- & in vv. 5-8 we find…
A. The Humility of a good servant. (vv. 5-8) 5 Bondservants, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, w/fear & trembling, in sincerity of heart, as to Christ; 6 not w/eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, 7 w/goodwill doing service, as to the Lord, & not to men, 8 knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free.
- This is another way Paul says, “Whatever you do in word or in deed, do all in the name of the Lord.”
- IOW you are to do the best work you can for your employer – not only b/c he’s paying you – but more importantly, b/c what you do is a direct reflection on your Lord.
- As a humble servant, you are to serve the Lord; to do all you do for His glory.
- Your work is to be exemplary; your attitude is to be pleasant; your work ethic is to be above reproach.
[I was always taught to do an honest day’s work for an honest day’s wage.]
- But it really goes much deeper than that.
- Under that system, if you’re not paid well, you shouldn’t do as much work.
- But under God’s system, you don’t work for the money, you work for the glory of God.
- So you do the most work you can regardless of the wage you are paid.
- Now I know that doesn’t ‘fly’ well in today’s culture – but it’s what God says to do!
- & besides, v. 8 tells us that whatever good you do God will repay you.
- So no matter what, just do what you’re asked or told to do & know that God will repay your hard work!
- So Paul wrote about the humility of a good servant & about…
B. The Heart of a good master. (v. 9) 9 & you, masters, do the same things to them, giving up threatening, knowing that your own Master also is in heaven, & there is no partiality w/Him.
- We’re talking about believing masters; believing employers; who are attempting to do all that God asks of them.
- They are to treat those under their employ as spiritual equals b/c w/God there is no partiality.
- They are to have a heart of compassion & a heart of loyalty & a heart of goodwill toward those they employ.
[Someone once said that, “We unconsciously imitate what pleases us…& the characters we most admire.”]
- Therefore, if the heart of the master is good, his servants will imitate him in his work habits & his personality traits.
- & really, there is little difference between a home & family & a place of employment.
- Many places of employment today try to build a “family atmosphere.”
- They want their employees to think of those around them as family.
- God placed the husband as head of the home.
- He placed him, among other things, as instructor to his children.
- He is to provide for & care for the needs of his wife & children just like Christ does the church.
- & the wife & children are to obey through voluntary submission to him.
- In the business world, the employer is head & his employees are to obey him through voluntary submission for the glory of God.
Conclusion: It’s all about order. God does all that He does in order & sets an order to be followed. That doesn’t mean that some are 2nd class to others. It means that God has a purpose in all that He does.
When a family is filled w/the Spirit, everything is oriented on Christ. Christian family life is a work of God's Spirit in the lives of those who do everything for Christ's sake. That's the main point.
Invitation: So let me ask you these questions, “Is it your hearts desire to do everything for Christ’s sake? & if it’s not, why not? & if you can say tonight, “I’ve not lived up to the potential God has for me & my family,” would you come repenting of that & ask the Lord to lead you & to help you be submissive to His will?
Or maybe you’re here tonight never having known the will of God. Maybe you’ve never come to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. But maybe tonight, God has spoken to you about the destiny of your eternal soul. If that’s true of you tonight, would you come in repentance of sin & place your faith in Jesus Christ alone as your Lord & Savior?
Hymn Create In Me A Clean Heart