Avoiding the Snares of Life II-sex
Avoiding the Snares of Life II-Sex
Title
Part 2 in three of snares of life-3 powerful things that often trap us in our journey through life and prevent us from reaching the fullness of life God intends for us. has a plan for us to use these things, just need to be careful how we use them
Last week-money, this week-sex. Leading cause of divorce, downfall of church leaders, business/political leaders. Major factor in poverty, kids without stable families-tied to being tripped up by sexuality.
Sex-can tell how much our thinking is off-feel wrong about talking about it, but major influence in life.
Something wrong with our atitude both within the church and in the culture.
-Myth that there is something wrong with sex. God designed us for it-physically, emotionally, spiritually.
Problem we run into-as with all things-god’s purpose often gets corrupted by sin, sinful expressions of what He designed. This is where we get trapped. We seek after what God gave us in selfish ways.
Need to embrace and celebrate God’s purpose for this in our lives.
This has been an issue throughout history. In Leviticus 18, God lists 18 specific sexual practice that are detestable to Him.
In the New Testament, as the Gospel of Jesus was being spread across the ancient worlds, the early apostles were trying to avoid legalism, but laid down several rules that they felt were important enough that everyone should follow:
Acts 15:19-20 It is my judgment, therefore, that we should not make it difficult for the Gentiles who are turning to God. 20Instead we should write to them, telling them to abstain from food polluted by idols, from sexual immorality, from the meat of strangled animals and from blood.
This has always been a big issue and it still is today, so it’s important for us to talk about.
Culture’s view-out of control attitude about sex
Easy to see in culture….books, movies, magazine, racks. Commericals.
Lustevin commercial. –captures attitudes and dangers\
Promote sex without limits..-just something we do for our own satisfaction.
Use it as a guage for compatibility and love between people-only to find people going from one partner to the next and diminishing the beauty of what God intended
Matt 19:4-6 “Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,'and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
God joins two people together in one flesh and one spirit...we hurt ourselves when we try to make that connection with one person after another.
When you are physically intimate with another person, it’s more than just a physical experience...you are making a spiritual connection with them that you can’t just undo.
We need to be careful with our sexuality...and control ourselves until we are certain that we are with the person that God wants to join us with and both are willing to make a commitment to.
Marriage
Put simply, God’s Standard of sex is that it is a gift to be shared between one man and one women in a committed marriage relationship
We need to celebrate that. I love to see married couples that obviously desire one another. I desire my wife more now that I did when I married her 15 years ago.Marriage is not supposed to be dull or to kill the intimate desire between a man and a women. Marriage is the place where God designed us to experience the fullness of his gift of sexuality.
In times past, people developed ways to help them control selves. Maybe we should try one of those…take a look at this clip
Patriot Clip
Marriage alone isn’t the answer. You don’t go out and get married just to get the green light for sex. I think we all know of marriages that are suffering and broken because of improper attitudes and expectations for sex. Men and women are different in their needs and expressions of sexuality-we need to understand those differences. Some people force it on their spouse. Others withhold from their spouse in order to control them Some look outside their marriage for sexual fulfillment and destroy what God brought together. These are all selfish attitudes that are not what God intended marriage to be.
As I’ve thought about this topic, and considered all the different stages of life and experiences we have represented here, I’ve realized I don’t have time to address specifically every situation. (though I’d love to talk to you individually if you want to follow up on this more later) I’ve been asking God if there is something we can all take away from this message as a guide for how we should address sexuality in our lives.
The answer He’s led me to is that we need to seek True Intimacy with one another.-fight for it. True intimacy is a relationship/connection with the person God wants to or has joined you with that goes beyond the feelings of love and desire for one another.
True intimacy is when you are willing to give of yourself to that other person over and over. Sex is just one aspect of true initmacy, and in that you are offering yourself to the other person and sharing God’s gift with them rather than seeking something for yourself.
-For married people…fight for intimacy with your spouse. Remind yourself constantly that they are God’s gift to you. Make your marriage a top priority in life. Learn and put into practice what your spouse depends upon to feel loved and needed by you.
Men...I have a Bib le verse for you to remember:
Proverbs 5:15-19:15Drink water from your own cistern,
flowing water from your own well.Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be for yourself alone,
and not for strangers with you.18Let yourfountain be blessed,
and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe.Let her breasts( fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.
Delight in your wife at all times. Let her be the focus of your sexual desires. If you find yourself thinking about to looking at other women, ask God to remind your of your wife in those moments.
Also learn what she needs to feel love and desire. I learn this lesson over and over...women do not experience sexual desire in the same way men do. We are much more easily aroused...and God made us that way. But don’t expect the same from your wife...learn what she needs.
Wives...remember that your husband is different from you, too. Find out what he needs. Let him knw that you depend upon him and believe in him.. As brave and macho as men are, we are also often feel that we are not living up to some standard. Also...Offer yourself to your husband...Remind him and enjoy the fact that God intends you to be the focus of His sexual desires. Find ways to make his heart skip a beat every now and then...and remember how desirable you are!
Unmarried folks...imagine the marriage and life partner God has in store for you. Remind yourself that those sexual desires are not what defines a lasting relationship and, in fact, they get in the way of really getting to know a person an deciding to spend your life with them.
Decide that you want to present yourself to your spouse someday as all theirs...noone else has had that experience with you. Be careful not to arouse desire in one another too early..powerful thing.
Women...the most loving thing you can do for a man you might want to spend your life with is tell him ’no’...not until we are married.
Men...I know the feelings you have. God created a beautiful work of are when he created the woman. Take joy in the ides that God has chosen a woman for you. DO the manly thing and honor her by waiting until you have committed yourself to her. Offer yourself to her first...as her partner and protector
In all these ways, God will bless us with truly intimate relationships, and in that, we can experience the fullness of the gift of sexuality God has given us.
Now, I need to stop here because I am well aware that many, if not most of us, have not lived up to these standards. Our goal in presenting God’s desire for us is not to create feelings of guilt or shame. It’s not to say that you can’t experience the fullness of life if you haven’t followed God’s plan.
This is the essence of what Jesus has done for us. God knows that we mess up...and don’t live up to his standard. He lives us enoug that He sent His Son to die for us so that we can be forgiven. If you have accepted Jesus as the son of God, agree that you have fallen short you can receive the forgiveness He made possible in His death on the cross. You are a new creation. Your past is wiped clean and all things are made new.
I’m not interested in bringing up your past. In fact, we want people who are not following God to be part of this church so that they can discover that new life in Jesus. If you know any...invite them to come. We’d rather have them here and deal with those issues than let them continue trying to deal with them on their own.
The only question we need to ask is what are we going to do now. How do we now live up to God’s standard.
This is where I want to wrap up this message this morning.
The reality is that we may all walk out of here today inspired to live new lives for God. We are going to do all we can to live up to God’ plan and experience the fullness of what He intended our sex lives to be. But when you are in a tough situation and being tempted, all that is going to fly out the window. You are not going to say, “Pastor Scott said to do this ...so I will,” or even “The Bible says I should do this…”
In fact, you may not want to hear what I’ve said today. You want to go one living as you always have...I expect that. You need to understand the choice you are making...to dishonor God and choose a lesser path full of undesirable consequences….but that is a normal human response.
When you are being tempted, you are engaged in a spiritual battle, and you need more than logic to help you.
What we all really need is a new heart. We need God to transform our desires into His. This why just before leaving this earth, Jesus told his disciples to wait for the Holy Spirit to come before they did anything for Him.
We need God’s Spirit to guide, teach, convict us and transform us. That is where the real victory is. We will never truly experience what God has in store for our sexuality...until we let His Spirit come in and heal us from the past, and transform our heart.
If you take nothing else away from this morning, remember this. True initimacy...including the fullness of God’s design for your sexuality...begins with intimacy with God. Seek Him and ask him to change you. If you want to honor Him but find yourself wanting to ignore what I’ve told you today...spend some time asking God to give you a new heart and new desires.
Lets close today by praying for these things….
Prayer...thanks for gift of sexuality. Help us to make use of that gift in a way that honors You. Transform our heart. Change us into people who want to please you. Help us to be sensitive to the needs/desires of spouses. Help us to give selves to our spouses unselfishly. Help us to seek true intimacy with future spouse. Thanks for forgiveness. Wash past away. Wipe it out. Give us strength to start new today. Let us be a light to people around us. Let them be shocked and surprised and what they see in our lives as we turn ourselves over to you.
Bless people-help to experience fullnes of life You have to offer. Bless as continue to seek true intimacy with You and with the person You have chosen for us