The sacred delight
Song of Songs • Sermon • Submitted
0 ratings
· 29 viewsMarriage and the marriage bed are to be held in high honour, because these are sacred in God's eyes.
Notes
Transcript
Appetiser
Appetiser
So, 2020 was a hard year, and I would like to treat my family to something I’d really enjoy (yes, tongue in cheek!): I’ll take them to a Grand Prix weekend in Silverstone. My options are:
General Admission tickets: we can only sit on the free patches of grass, but it’s ‘only’ (!) £682.50. Not exclusive enough, though...
If I want a grandstand for us, so we can sit on something that’s not grass, it’ll be upwards from £962.50. Hmmm… ‘Tempting’, but I want something more exclusive: something VIP!
I can have a private enclosure at one of the best spots on the track… That’s it: a bargain as well, for £2320 for my family!
It’s amazing how much we’re ready to pay to get VIP access, no? We prize pleasures reserved for a choice few. It is a VIP experience that today’s passage is about. It’s so VIP, it is only reserved for two people — or, to one person’s access to another one, blocking out simultaneously 7 billion others.
Main Course
Main Course
The sacred delight of the marriage bed
The sacred delight of the marriage bed
The challenge of the preacher here as much as anywhere else in the Song is to explain what is purposefully implied, without making them explicit and becoming crass. I will try my best to do that. But make no mistake of it: this, the heart of the song, deals with the most intimate of delights God has gifted to mankind, namely, the joys of the marriage bed.
It is very clearly implied in the woman inviting the man to enter into her garden and enjoy its choices fruits — the imagery that, as we have seen, refers to the woman, e.g. in the passage just before the one we are looking at, Song 4:12-15. The time has come for love to be awakened — the word translated “Awake” in Song 4:16 we have already met, translated as “arouse or awaken” in Song 2:7, 3:5. He has come for her, and she has received him — they can now be united and become one flesh, as the first man and woman were, Genesis 2:24.
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
God has set this delight apart from all other human relationships — in other words, He has sanctified it. This delight is so exclusive, only two VIP can engage in it: the husband and his wife. Everybody else is off limits: nobody is allowed in to enjoy its choicest fruit. This increases the value of the gift enormously:
Lovemaking: the sacred delight.
It is the consummation of their marriage. “my garden” -> “his garden”. Did you notice that? The woman’s body becomes her husband’s. She willingly, joyfully gives herself up to him, and he joyfully takes her to be his. She gives up being her own as she enters into marriage with him. Their wedding night seals this.
It is the solidifying of their marriage. This therefore is not a one-off occasion. Paul teaches in 1 Corinthians 7:1-5,
1 Now for the matters you wrote about: ‘It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.’ 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfil his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Although the relevant teaching for our passage is in v2-5, I wanted to include v1, because there Paul teaches that singleness is good — if you have no husband or wife, you’re not deficient; you have advantages we married folk no longer have. Paul was single, and he considered it a gift just as much as being married (1 Corinthians 7:7).
But notice that the marriage bed is to be a frequent place of delight — it is a marital duty! If there’s any place in the Scriptures that highlights that duty and delight are not necessarily opposites, well, this could be a good candidate! It protects your marriage to frequently delight in each other. This is what the beloved and his bride are enjoying in these verses.
It is their mutual delight in each other. See the man’s description of it, as well as the Friends’ words in Song 5:1b.
The honey, wine, and milk describe abundance in food and drink: the best and most desirable produce of the land.
More than any text in the Bible, these verses reject the suppression of physical pleasures as though in themselves somehow evil or unworthy of God. The poet masters all of the physical senses and their indulgence in magnifying the experiences of physical lovemaking. In so doing, the male lover recognizes the fullness of divine blessing in the gifts of this world and the joy that they bring.
Hess, R. S. (2005). Baker Commentary on the Old Testament: Song of Songs. (T. Longman III, Ed.) (p. 156, 158). Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic.
Lovemaking is sacred, because marriage is sacred.
Notice the imagery in Song 3:6, 4:12, 15, 5:1.
The man comes “like a column of smoke”, very much alluding to the Pillar of Cloud of the Lord in the wilderness.
The imagery of the garden very much alludes to the Garden of Eden.
Marriage is an object lesson, Ephesians 5:31-33.
‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
The union of a man and his wife in marriage portrays a deep spiritual truth: the union of the believer with Christ through faith. All the spiritual blessings: the forgiveness of our sins, eternal life, the adoption to sonship into God’s household, fellowship with the Living God, the glorious hope of a future resurrection to life in a purified and made-new universe; these are sacred delights exclusively available for those who are “in Christ” — united to Him by faith. Ephesians 1:3 says,
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.
We are looking for with longing to the day of Christ’s appearing, the day of His coming to us. Significantly, that event is likened to a wedding feast of eating and drinking, Matthew 8:11; Revelation 19:7,
I say to you that many will come from the east and the west, and will take their places at the feast with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven.
Let us rejoice and be glad
and give him glory!
For the wedding of the Lamb has come,
and his bride has made herself ready.
Marriage and the marriage bed to be honoured by all
Marriage and the marriage bed to be honoured by all
The key text for a one-stop application of this is Hebrews 13:4,
Marriage should be honoured by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
We can deduce three major implications for the sanctity of marriage:
“Marriage should be honoured by all”
We must correctly define marriage: it consists between one man, married to one woman, making a covenant with each other for life. This means:
no to open marriages. One ‘yes’ I uttered to my wife equals billions of ‘no’-s to all other women. Anything else is dishonouring to her and our marriage.
no to cohabitation. A non-negotiable part of any marriage is the public declaration of the covenant between the man and the woman. Simply moving in with one another does not do that.
no to polygamy. Men should be one-woman men, as modelled in Paul’s description of the Elders of the church (1 Timothy 3:2). Sometimes people point to the fact that many of the Patriarchs had more than one wife. We’ll deal with that in our studies in Genesis, but for now: God blessing despite a sinful situation doesn’t mean He’s condoning it.
no to same-sex marriages. This of course is one of the hot topics of the day, but it’s nothing new. Scripture’s teaching is as clear as ever: homosexual and lesbian relationships are sinful, because they take an axe and start bashing at the very roots of God’s design for manhood, womanhood and marriage. The Bible makes no bones about this, e.g. 1 Corinthians 6:9-10.
Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
Therefore, to bless this relationship is blessing sin, and dishonouring marriage.
We must uphold marriage. This goes beyond definition to actions we take to honour marriage.
Correct teaching in the church. Thank God for an entire book on marriage and its joys, that He deemed wise to include in the Scriptures! This indeed is the Song of Songs, dealing with this most holy institution. The holy of holies of human relationships, which gives a glimpse into the holy of holies of divine-human relationship through Christ is under constant assault: let the Church stand firm on the biblical teaching on marriage and sexual ethics!
Correct teaching from the church. Marriage is to be honoured by “all” — not just the Church. Therefore, it is legitimate for God’s people to call the state to adhere to this biblical teaching. It is legitimate to challenge wrong thinking and call people to repentance. It is our joyful duty to model true marriage to the world, and preach the Gospel hand-in-hand with this.
Support struggling marriages. Divorce is relatively easy nowadays; it was the same in Jesus’s day. But hear Jesus’s teaching, Matthew 5:31-32,
31 ‘It has been said, “Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.” 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Therefore the solution to marriage problems is not divorce. As John Piper says, we are free to divorce our wives when Christ divorces His wife; and that will never happen.
Man: when you entered your garden, you locked the gate and thew away the key; your only way out is through breaking down the door.
Woman, when you received your husband into your garden, you have given yourself to him; don’t give yourself away to another.
The church is your family to support you through your struggles when they arise. We no longer live in Eden, but as Christians, we are heading back there: your marriage can be a foretaste of it here on earth. But like all gardens, it needs tending.
Husbands and wives should take their roles seriously.
Man: be a man! Love your wife as Christ loved the church, and gave Himself for her. Do everything you do for her benefit: love, cherish, guide her. Delight in her: out of all the blokes in the world, she said ‘yes’ to you — never cease to be amazed at this! What joy! What privilege: remember when you were without her? Cherish her today as you did the first day you held her in your arms.
Woman: be a woman! Obey your husband, joyfully serving him and submitting to his leadership; unlike Christ, he needs you to be the man God wants him to be. Again remember: out of all the women in the world, he chose you. Delight in him, for he loves you.
“and the marriage bed kept pure”
The marriage bed is the inner sanctum of any marriage: the VIP club with only two members! Hence God’s people say no to
adultery. This is breaking the vows of an existing marriage, either your own or someone else’s. We have already seen Jesus’s teaching on this. Nobody appreciates an intruder into a private garden — and certainly into this garden!
sexual immorality. This is defiling yourself, and also a potential marriage. This is a broader category than adultery, covering all sexual sin. I don’t want to give ideas here, but the Bible is quite explicit about some of these! And gives a resounding ‘no’ to them. One area of particular concern is how the sexual revolution has found its way to education. It is amazing that we teach kids and youngsters to say ‘no’ to smoking, but not to premarital sex. But extra-marital sex in all its forms is trampling on the flowers, robbing from the fruit, enjoying the sweet fragrances reserved for marriage, as described in our two verses.
“for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”
Since sexual sin defiles something so holy and pure, the language is very strong. There is a sense in which all sins are sins. However, that doesn’t mean there are no degrees of sin — and sexual sins are especially highlighted in Scripture. When referring to His people chasing after other gods, the One True God speaks of this idolatry as adultery. He describes Himself as a jealous God. God takes sexual sins very seriously, and is saying here: “I’ll come against you myself if you do them.”
Do you see why? Marriage is the picture of the Gospel — that God and sinners can come together in Jesus, and only in Jesus. Any tampering with this will inevitably lead down a path away from the Gospel. We first tamper with the physical, but the spiritual reality will soon follow. The writer of the letter to the Hebrews says: “Don’t go down that road.” He is echoing the Shulammite: “do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”
Notice: God will not judge the sin, but the sinner. You see, we can’t separate ourselves from our sins. What sin we do, defiles us. There is no Purgatory, Friends, where over millions of years our sins are burnt away from us: if we don’t repudiate them, and turn to Christ in repentance from them, we will be judged, not just our sin. Again, hear our Lord speaking in Matthew 5:29-30,
29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.
Only God’s forgiveness can remove our guilt from us, and purify us from all unrighteousness.
Restoration in Christ
Restoration in Christ
Sexual sins are particularly bad, but they are not unforgivable, 1 John 1:5-2:2.
5 This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. 6 If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.
8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.
1 My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. 2 He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world.
You may have sinned terribly before you became a Christian. Perhaps those sins still haunt you. My Brother, my Sister: speak to your heart, remind yourself, that God in Christ has forgiven all your sins: “the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.” All means all.
Perhaps you have sinned greatly, perhaps even recently, as a Christian. You see John is writing to us, reminding us of the great sacrifice of Jesus, so that we will not sin. But if anybody does sin — and this side of Eden we all sin —, he reminds us that as Christians Christ is not finished with us: even now, He, as our Advocate, is in the presence of His Father, as it were holding up His blood in His hands, the blood of the atonement for our sins. We are forgiven: when we sin, let us confess, forsake it, run towards the Father for healing and cleansing, and stand up with a new resolve to live for His glory.
The waters of blessing flow from Eden into the Garden of Christ, Genesis 2:10.
A river watering the garden flowed from Eden; from there it was separated into four headwaters.
As the waters flowed from Eden, so do God’s blessings flow from Him. And as these watered the garden of Eden, so these water, bless, purify those in the garden: those in fellowship with God through Christ, by faith.
Hear Paul again, as he writes in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11,
Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
Do you need forgiveness from your sins, sexual or otherwise? Today, you can still be washed, whatever your past — if you come into God’s Garden: the Lord Jesus Christ Himself, by faith.
Has perhaps your joy in fellowship with Christ not been like what is described in Song of Songs 4:16-5:1? Know that Christ desires a blessed, intimate, love-throbbing spiritual fellowship with you. Come to Him, seek Him, delight in Him — He is waiting for you, His bride.