Parental Rights Matter - Honor is to be Given to all Whom it is Due

Introduction

We live in a precarious situation in western and, increasingly, eastern societies. I am not talking about COVID-19 or its new fast spreading variant. There is a more fundamentally danger to our society, one which has been proceeding for many years now. With vaccine distribution underway and research still ongoing on we will defeat this virus. It is not going to destroy our societies. If we don’t address this greater fundamental threat, we won’t have a society. I am speaking of the undermining of parental rights and the family. I am speaking of the growing disrespect for authority. Let me give you a few examples.

Stories about Canadian dad - https://thefederalist.com/2019/04/29/authorities-arrest-canadian-father-refers-trans-child-real-sex/ and https://thefederalist.com/2020/01/14/canadian-appeals-court-rules-father-cant-stop-teen-daughter-from-taking-male-hormones/

Story about Ohio parents - https://world.wng.org/content/parents_lose_custody_of_transgender_teen

Background

The fifth commandment is very important. It begins the so-called second table of commandments. It speaks directly to the relationship between parents and children and indirectly to the issue of authority. It is foundational to Israelite living and for human society in general. OT Scholar John Durham puts it this way: “the last six commandments set forth the principles guiding Israel’s relationship with the covenant community, and more broadly, with the human family. As the second, third, and fourth commandments are in many ways extensions of the first commandment, the first four commandments are the foundation for the final six commandments.... Just as the relationship with Yahweh is the beginning of the covenant, so this relationship is the beginning of society, the inevitable point of departure for every human relationship. The first relationship beyond the relationship with Yahweh, who according to the OT is the giver of life, is the relationship to father and to mother, who together are the channel of Yahweh’s gift of life. No other human relationship is so fundamental, and none is more important.“[1]

Exposition

Honor vs. Obey - Does it Matter?

Is this a meaningless semantic difference or was the LORD being intentional in His word choice? This is intentional. ‘Honor’ has a broader range of meaning and is a greater requirement. Mark Rooker writes: “It is easier to obey than to honor. An individual may hate but still obey, whereas one cannot both hate and honor simultaneously. The significance of parents in relation to their children indicates that parents are the first line of defense as God’s representatives”[2]

What about the fact that Paul uses the word ‘obey’ in the NT? Honoring your parents does include obedience. Notice the same promises are given in response to keeping the law (Deut 5:33; 11:8-9). Honoring your parents equals honoring God.

The Characteristics of Honoring One’s Parents

The are five characteristics that we want to look at:

Holding one’s parents in high regard - The Hebrew word behind ‘honor’ has a meaning of ‘weighty’. It is used in the OT to describe the majesty of God, or “the weightiness of his divine majesty”.[3] In context here it means to esteem highly or treat as important.

Showing respect / reverence to one’s parents - Lev 19:3: Parents are authority figures. There authority comes from God and is to be acknowledged. Parents can be friendly and fun but they are still parents.

Obeying one’s parents - Dt 21:18–21; cf. Eph 6:1: This is straight forward. It means do what your parents tell you to do. There is a limiting principal. You should not obey a command to sin against God.

Financially caring for one’s parents - Mark 7:10: Adult children are to take care of their parents in their old age when they can’t care for themselves.[4]

Both Parents are to receive honor - Prov 1:8

The Blessings of Honoring One’s Parents

The commands as stated in Exodus and Deuteronomy provide a two-fold promise: long life and well-being, both in the land of promise. There is primarily a corporate promise through there can be individual implications. The point here is that honoring parents is part of the covenant. It is part of being faithful to Yahweh and it is this faithfulness that would ensure that Israel both remains in the land and prospers while in the land.

Honor to Whom Honor is Due

There is a broader principle here concerning respect for authority. This is highlighted succinctly in the Westminster Shorter Catechism Answer 64: “The fifth commandment requireth the preserving the honour, and performing the duties, belonging to every one in their several places and relations, as superiors, inferiors, or equals.”[5] John Calvin wrote: “The sum of the commandment, therefore, will be, that we are to look up to those whom the Lord has set over us, yielding them honour, gratitude, and obedience.”[6]

The Seriousness of Dishonoring One’s Parents

Scripture takes the dishonoring of parents very seriously.

Dishonoring parents equals rebellion against God - Ezekiel 22:7, Micah 7:6

Disobedient children as described a being shame to parents - Prov 17:25; 19:13,26;30:11,17

Dishonoring parents meant death - Ex 21:15, Lev 20:9, Deut. 21:18-21

Dishonoring parents is the way to destroy society: Augustine put it this way: “If anyone fails to honor his parents, is there anyone he will spare?”[7]

The Requirements of Parents

Scripture gives clear commandments to parents concerning how to raise their children. These are found in Deut 6:5-7, Eph 6:4, and Col 3:21. There is also Prov 22:6, although this is not a ironclad promise.

Gospel Connection

Elaborate on Christ Jesus as the perfectly honoring son.

Practical Application

To be Christlike is to honor parents. To honor parents is to honor God. To ensure continuance of ordered society, authorities must be honored and remain within their sphere of influence.

Gospel Application

How many of us can say we perfectly honor(ed) our parents, those in authority, and the ultimate authority of the LORD God. We need Christ because we continually dishonor the God of heaven.

Bibliography

1. Durham, J. I. (1987). Exodus (Vol. 3, p. 290). Dallas: Word, Incorporated.

2. Rooker, M. (2010). The ten commandments: ethics for the twenty-first century. Nashville, TN: B&H Academic

3. Ryken, P. G., & Hughes, R. K. (2005). Exodus: saved for God’s glory (p. 603). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books

4. Stuart, D. K. (2006). Exodus (Vol. 2, p. 461). Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers.

5. Westminster Assembly. (1851). The Westminster Confession of Faith: Edinburgh Edition (p. 412). Philadelphia: William S. Young.

6. Calvin, J. (1997). Institutes of the Christian religion. Bellingham, WA: Logos Bible Software.

7. Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, ed. Joseph T. Lienhard, Ancient Christian Commentary on Scripture (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity, 2001), 3:106. Cited by Ryken, P. G., & Hughes, R. K. (2005). Exodus: saved for God’s glory (p. 602). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.