WhenWeDoWhatWeDontWant
5/31-6/1-08
When We Do What We Don’t Want To Do
The experience that every single human being deals with in regard to doing right or wrong is so universal that every one of us immediately understands and identifies with this picture on the screen. There’s a man with a little angel on one shoulder and a little devil on the other. All of us immediately know that we are constantly making decisions about what we do whether good or bad. And, our experience of constantly trying to make the right decision feels an awful lot like a wrestling match. That’s the reason the series of messages for this month is called ‘Wrestling Temptation.’ It seems it would be a whole lot better if we didn’t have to constantly grapple with these decisions, but it’s a universal human experience that no one can avoid. Even if you’re not a follower of Jesus, this is an issue you understand and have to deal with. Every single one of us wrestles with the problem of often doing what we don’t want to do and sometimes failing to do what we really want to do. Every one of us has this problem. What can we do about it? God has revealed some eternal wisdom about this in the Bible and we can find out what how He wants to help us win this wrestling match with temptation. In the NT book of James God says:
"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." [James 1:12, NIV]
The first thing God wants to set straight for us is that there is a difference between a trial and a temptation. Wrestling with temptation may be a trial, but a trial itself is not a temptation. A trial is something you endure outwardly. Difficult circumstances like illness or the loss of your job may be trials, but they are not a matter of doing something right or wrong. We can lose a job due to company downsizing or get sick because we ate some contaminated food, but those things are not the result of us deciding to do something wrong. Temptation is an inward desire or motivation to do something wrong. That’s the difference between a trial and a temptation.
One of the things about Jesus that is very important that makes this series very important is that Jesus did not just come to forgive you of your sin. Do you know that? He didn’t come just so you would have this amazingly gracious thing happen in your life that would free you from the penalty of your sin. Jesus also came so that you could be unburdened from the power of sin. He came to break the power of sin in your life. We’re just going to take a look at our desires, and understand a little bit about why we are the way we are in our desires and maybe what God has to say about some of those things that are trying to bring us down.
A book that’s very helpful on this topic is Andy Stanley’s book, It Came From Within. What we’re going to do today is walk through this section of the New Testament in the book of James that has some amazing insights for life and wrestling down temptation.
"When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone;" [James 1:13, NIV]
Notice he says, ‘when you are tempted,’ not ‘if you are tempted.’
One of the easiest traps to fall into is to blame God for our failures. From the beginning of time people have tried to blame someone for their behavior. This is one of the keynote characteristics of our culture now is that we are not responsible for ourselves. Ever since Adam and Eve in the garden fell into sin, what did Adam do? He said, “God, it was that woman you gave me that did this to me.” He blamed it on Eve, but by implication, he was blaming it on God. He was saying, “It was all Your fault. I was fine until you put her in here.” That’s really what he was saying. One of the easiest things to do is to blame God. You know how we do this in our culture? We do this by saying, “It’s God’s fault. He made me the way I am. I’m not responsible for me. God put these desires in me and it’s all His fault.” God certainly created the possibility of good and evil. He had to for there to be a choice for there to be love. But, the choice is our responsibility. James opens up this teaching on temptation in a way we all need to hear by saying, “Listen. It’s your responsibility. Stop blaming your parents. Stop blaming people in your life who let you down. It is your responsibility to make the right choices. It’s not your teacher’s responsibility. It’s not your coach’s responsibility. It’s not your parents’ responsibility. It’s your responsibility. Stop blaming God. So next he says...
"but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed." [James 1:14, NIV]
James is stating that we all have this inward wrestling match going on. Somebody once wrote: “Two natures beat within my breast. The one is foul, the other blest. The one I love and the one I hate. But the one I feed will dominate.” That’s a lot of the reason we gather here weekly and we’re in cell groups to feed our souls on the Bible and we listen to music and things that build into our spirit, because the side of us that we feed, will dominate our behavior.
Look at the word ‘entice.’ That is a fisherman’s word. Back in that day they used that word for the baiting of the hook. Just think of a big old hook and it’s got this chunk of chum on it--some type of bait--and he says, “that is temptation.” James is saying that many a mighty shark has been dragged away because it was driven by an insatiable desire and had no knowledge (because of it’s desire it had no knowledge) of the consequences--the hook. James says that’s temptation. Notice he says, “by your own evil desire.” One of the interesting things when we consider this verse is that we also want to blame the devil. A comedian by the name of Flip Wilson years ago made famous the line, “The devil made me do it.” Do you know there are things you can fall into and the devil didn’t have anything to do with it now? It was your desire that allowed you to be dragged away by some opportunity and enticed. As a matter of fact, some of us fall, not because of what the devil did to us now, but because of what the devil did to us back with the beginning of humans when he downloaded a virus into the DNA of man--a sin virus and now we all a sinful desire within us--a sin nature in us. I like the old t-shirt that said, “Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.” Sometimes we don’t even need the enemy’s help. We can find it totally on our own. The Bible teaches something that our culture does not want to accept. It is that we are all born with a sin nature. And, it doesn’t take a psychologist or a theologian to tell us that something is wrong in the human race. If you doubt this, just look at the news. Spend a weekend with your relatives and you will come away convinced that something is wrong with human race. There is something seriously flawed, and what the Bible says is this: There is within everyone of us a self-destructive tendency--a gravitational pull that is not outside. It’s inside.
Here is the lesson of the hook and the bait. With temptation there is always more at stake than what we think in the moment. Think of a fish with this chunk of bait on the end of the hook. That fish thinks the only thing at stake is whether I get the bait. That’s all that is at stake for the fish in the moment. What do we know differently? For that fish’s well-being there is a whole lot more at stake. In the midst of temptation we think that all that is at stake is the moment--telling the truth on this form, or that one test we’re taking in school this week, or that one conversation we’re having, or what I can see right in front of me. We think it’s just about right now, but what is the truth about temptation? There is so much more at stake. If nothing else, here’s what is at stake with every temptation you face--your future. Your future is at stake with every temptation. The interesting thing about this is we find it easier to see in other people than we do in ourselves. Isn’t this funny? We can see this in other people. How many of you are parents of teenagers? And, you have this ability when you are a parent of a teenager to say, “if you do this (this little thing), this is what’s going to happen in your future. If you don’t do this, this is what’s going to happen.” Isn’t it amazing how you can see this as parents? “If you drive this way, this is what’s going to happen.” This is the why many parents of teenagers have the auto body shop on our speed dial, because we know that if you do these little things, this is what’s going to happen. We see this in movies, too. We find it easy in movies to see that if you do this, this is what’s going to happen. Have you ever been sitting in a movie and you go, “Nooooo! Don’t go in there! Don’t go down that hallway! He’s there! Don’t get in the car, teenage girl in this cheap horror flick. Don’t get in the car!” Right? We find this really easy. Do you remember the first time you saw this?
Do you remember the first time you saw this? It was 1977. The first time I saw Star Wars. In 1980 The Empire Strikes Back came out. Do you remember the first time you heard this sound? (Darth Vader’s breathing.) It is foreboding. Do you remember the scene in The Empire Strikes Back when Luke is backed into a corner and Darth Vader is standing there and he says, “Luke, you can destroy the emperor. He has forseen this. It is your destiny.” Then he says, “Join me and together we will rule the galaxy, father and son.” Then he says, “It is the only way.” When you’re sitting there your response is, “No. No, Luke. It’s not the only way.” There is another way. Don’t give in to this, because there is more at stake than just this moment. For a different generation one of the favorites of all time is this one. [The Lion King] Do you remember when Simba is talking to his uncle Scar? Simba is unaware of Scar’s desire to usurp the throne and Simba shares his excitement about becoming king and he says, “Hey, uncle Scar. I’m going to be king someday. I’m going to rule the kingdom.” And what does Scar say? “Oh, goodie.” Simba tells him that his dad has just showed him the whole kingdom--everything he’s going to rule. And then Scar says (this is where the bait is getting put on the hook) Scar says to him, “So, your father showed you the whole kingdom did he?” And he motions to the far off horizon--the kind of dark border, and he says, “He didn’t show you what is beyond the northern border.” And Simba says, “Well, no. I can’t go there.” And Scar says, “He’s absolutely right, because that’s only for brave lions.” Do you see how the hook is getting baited. And, Simba says, “Well, I’m brave. What’s out there?” And Scar says, “I’m sorry, Simba. I just can’t tell you. I’m only looking out for the well-being of my favorite nephew. An elephant graveyard is no place for a young prince. Promise me you’ll never visit that dreadful place.” And what does Scar then do? He divulges the location of that place. Simba runs off and finds his friend Nolla and they run off to go visit the elephant graveyard. And what do you do when you’re saying to yourself, “No, Simba. Don’t do this. There is so much more at stake here than an innocent visit to an elephat graveyard. There are promotional tie-ins and Lion King on Broadway that’s coming and Lion King II. And if you get killed, that will ruin everything. There is so much more at stake.” You see, when we’re watching other people or we’re watching movies, we find it easy to say, “You don’t want to do this. Because, if you do this, this is what’s going to happen.”
There is so much more at stake here than you just taking the bait. Here’s the deal. God, the Father, looks at our lives the way we look at movies. He sees. He says, “Listen, listen, listen. It’s not just this moment, this test, this conversation, this drink. That’s not what’s at stake here. There is so much more at stake, and what is at stake is your future.”
A number of years ago some scientists--sociologists and psychologists--in Chicago did a study to discover the correlation in children between delayed gratification and later success in life. They wanted to see. Is there a correlation in a child’s ability to say ‘no’ now so that there might be a great reward later and their ultimate success in life. Here’s what these psychologists did. They brought a bunch of kids under camera. They set them in a room and put a bunch of fresh baked, steaming hot chocolate chip cookies in front of them. They told each child, “If you will not eat a single cookie here while the adults are gone for half an hour, you will get 10 cookies to eat later.” In this experiment some of the kids puts their hands over their eyes. One kid started singing to himself. One kid just put his head down on the table by the plate and just looked at them. One kid licked the plate. He got as close to it as he could. Some kids just ate the cookie and they were done. This was a long term study and what they found as they studied them through adolescence and young adulthood, was that a child’s ability to delay gratification now is reproduced in adulthood later on. Those kids sat there thinking it was all about that cookie in front of them. And its wasn’t just about the cookie. It was about their whole life.
When it comes to temptation, there is always more at stake than what you think in the moment. Always, always, always. So James says, “Look at temptation as a fish looks at that bait thinking, ‘It’s just all about the bait.’” It’s not. It is not just one cookie. It is not just one puff. It is not just one drink. It is not just one date. It is not just one little phone call, one peek, one little lie, one income tax return. It is not just about that. God says, “No. It’s about your future.” Remember the words of God.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." [Jeremiah 29:11, NIV]
Not only is your future at stake with every temptation, but your family is at stake, too. The fact is in this kind of a setting there are many of us who are here probably and you have paid a price for the temptations that your parents could not say ‘no’ to. And that’s a really hard thing. You didn’t even do it, and you still suffered and the pain in this room illustrates the reality that every temptation has more at stake than what we think in the moment. If you’re here and you are single, do you realize that the decisions you’re making right now, you don’t even have a family, but the decisions you’re making right now effect either positively or negatively the people in your present and your future. They’re going to live with the consequences of some of your decisions. There is always so much more at stake than what we think. We’ve seen people lose entire retirement accounts and pensions, because some people who have more money than anyone will ever need could not say ‘no’ to temptation. James gives another analogy.
"Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death." [James 1:15, NIV]
When we lean into our evil desire opportunity finds a way to meet that desire. Notice the 3 letter word that we do not like in our culture today. We do not like the word ‘sin.’ We use the word ‘mistake.’ This is a very critical delineation. If you are not a follower of Jesus, you might call sin a mistake, but there is a big difference between a mistake and sin. A mistake is an error you make balancing your checkbook. A sin is something you do, when you decide to do the wrong thing. It’s a decision we make. In our culture people have an affair and they say, “I made a mistake.” No, you didn’t. You sinned. You didn’t make a mistake. An affair is not a mistake. A mistake is, “Oops. I didn’t mean to do that.” Sin is, “I knew it was wrong and I did it anyway.” There is a huge difference between the 2. James calls it what it is. When we fail to understand, these little desires become sin, and sin when you let it grow, it gives birth to death. This very big thing. Little desires mis-managed spawn a monster. It may seem to be only 1 little thing which ends up causing a person to say, “How did I end up here? It was just 1 look. It was just 1 conversation. It was just 1 test. It was just 1 income tax return. It was just 1 phone call. How did I end up here?” What we need to remember is that there is always more at stake than what you think in the moment. So, what’s the solution?
"Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." [James 1:16-17, NIV]
You don’t have to fall for the bait. The right things to do are gifts that have no kickback. (God is not moody like we are, when we’re doing well, He’s really happy with us and when we’re not doing so well, He’s not happy with us. No. He’s not moody. He’s the same yesterday, today and forever.) Here’s what’s at the root of every temptation we face. Here’s what we need to stop and ask ourselves every day. How much confidence do I have in my heavenly Father? Can I trust God? Can I trust God or is He holding out something from me? Many of us believe, “If I follow God, I’m going to miss out on life. At the core of every temptation is this: Can I trust God?
[Nemo clip?]
This is the question with every temptation. Do you trust your father in heaven or do you really believe that He knows something you don’t know and He’s holding out on you? Do you believe that every good and perfect gift is from above coming down from the Father of heavenly lights who does not change? If I don’t believe that, then I will believe that I need to do whatever I have to do to get what I need. If I don’t, it won’t, so I will. That’s the default. If I don’t think God’s going to come through for me, I will do whatever it takes to meet my needs that I think I have. So, I will do that.. I will take some shortcuts. I will do some things that aren’t necessarily legal, proper, polite or right, because I need to have my desires met. Every temptation you and I face is not just a matter of self-control. It is a matter of faith. It is an issue of faith. Temptation is a test of your faith--your confidence in whether God will come through for you or not.
Many of us grew up and to us God was just a category. Like a Newsweek magazine that has its government section, it politics section and its life section and it has its religion (God) section. So many of us grew up with the idea that God is a category. He’s a section in our magazine. Prayer at dinner. Jesus was a prophet or the Son of God. The Bible is the good book. So, we think God is out there doing stuff that He does, but all this stuff of being employed, a parent, a student in school, single, having a job, having a career, sex--all this stuff about my life--well that’s about me, because God doesn’t deal in our stuff. He’s just a category. Right? So, many of us don’t believe James 1:17 is true, because in reality we think that “if it’s to be, it’s up to me--totally. I must make life happen.” Or, the option you can have is this: God is attuned to every detail of my life. I believe Jesus when He says He has the hairs of my head numbered. This is the symbol of His intimate knowledge of you and me. I am known by the king of kings. Or, as He said, when a sparrow falls to the ground God knows about it and you are much more valuable than a sparrow. Do I believe that? Is God just a category, or is He involved in the details of my life and I don’t have to have the attitude that if I don’t, it won’t, so I will. But I can say, “God, you have given me an invitation not to call you You Heavenly Creator, but Heavenly Father. And when there is a gap between my needs and what’s happening in my life right now, You have given me an open invitation to surrender to You and to ask You and to trust You, and my job is obedience. Your job is to be God and give me every good and perfect gift, when I need it.
Every temptation you and I face is not just about self-control. Matter of fact, it’s very little about that. It’s mostly about my trust--my faith in God. When we jump in and bend the rules, we’re saying, “God, you can’t be trusted. You’re not big enough for me to be ethical in business. You’re not big enough for me to be pure sexually. You’re not. You won’t, so I’m going to.” I think it was Thomas Carlyle who once said when we fall that way, we are practical atheists. At that moment God is unreal to us. We’re saying, “I don’t trust You, God.”
Here’s another truth about temptation I’ll talk more about in the weeks ahead: Temptation comes when I try to meet a legitimate need in an illegitimate way. Temptation will always come. The bait will get put on the hook, when I try to meet a legitmate desire in an illegitimate way. Legitmate desires include a need for companionship, intimacy, success, financial goals, friendship, inner peace, excitement. These are just legitimate desires we all have. One of the great things that’s encouraging about the reality of temptation is because they come out of our unique personal wiring, you can pretty much predict your temptations. We’re mostly tempted about the same things all the time, so you can pretty much know this is what’s coming up at some time. We all have these needs, desires. There’s nothing wrong with a single one of them, but temptation comes when I trry to find an illegitimate way. Why? Because I just don’t trust God’s going to come through for me. Here’s good news as well. When there’s a gap between what I need and what I have and I wait on God and He brings a good and perfect gift in His time, that’s when our faith grows. And we say, “Wow! My God’s not holding out on me. When I wait on Him, He brings gifts that don’t bite back.” He gives real companionship and intimacy and success and all that stuff.
It’s good to know you don’t have to wrestle with temptaton for the rest of your life. Isn’t that good news? You only have to do it today. Jesus said, “Don’t worry about tomorrow. Today has enough trouble of its own.” Anybody here find you have temptation to not have to think about the rest of your life? You don’t have to wrestle with the pull of temptation for the rest of your life. All you have to do is say, “Today, God. Today I trust You. Today, God, I am going to trust You and all I have to do is make the next right decision. Not tomorrow’s right decision. Not next week’s right decision, but today’s. Just trust God right now, and you will find that temptation is not about self-control. Temptation is really about faith and trusting God to be big enough.
"He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created." [James 1:18, NIV]
What if we could form new habits? What if there were another way to live with new desires? James says there is. You can have rebirth through Jesus by living the way He lived in your private life. Then, you’ll begin to have desires that He had. Your strongest desires will begin to be the desires that Jesus had.