I Corinthians 13-2- 10-12-08 PM

That Ain’t Love

I Corinthians 13:4b (Series - 3 of 7)

FBC Winona – Sunday, October 19th - PM

I Corinthians 13:4b

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

Envieth – translated means earnestly covet, desire, be jealous over

·         The very idea of love is to extend that for others – want the best for others

·         To be envious or jealous is in direct contrast to that idea

·         Love never wants to have its own way

In the parable of the workers in the vineyard – Matthew 20

·         Landowner hires people at the beginning of the day to work in his vineyard for a denarius

·         At several points in the day he hires some to work the remainder of day for same wage

·         Even one worked just one hour and received same wage

·         All received exactly what they agreed on – but those who worked longer were upset

·         Jesus response, Matthew 20:15, “Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I’m jealous?”

This idea is even covered in the 10 Commandments

·         Exodus 20:17, 17 "You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor."

Jealousy or envy has two forms:

1)      Wanting what someone else has – wanting to lift ourselves over another

2)      Desiring evil for someone else – so that we will be better off or someone “taken down”

Once we become envious, jealous or boastful, it takes us down a predictable path:

Stage 1 – Discontentment with unfulfilled expectations

·         We can be dissatisfied with the way we were not able to achieve something another did

·         We can be discontented with the fact that something we had hope for didn’t pan out

·         A failed relationship, a business partnership gone sour, the success of another

Stage 2 – Disillusionment or confusion

·         James 3:16, “for where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there”

·         “I never thought it would be like this”

·         We begin to look at each other and our circumstances negatively

Stage 3 – Deception – infatuation with an illusion

·         We focus on the illusion of someone who can meet our needs and expectations

·         We begin to compare what we have to what we think is better – outside friend, etc.

·         Someone brings comfort to us outside of that relationship and we think that is right and good

Stage 4 – Desire – “I can’t live without it”

·         We believe the lie of deception so strongly that we feel we must have it

·         We begin to be guided by our felt needs rather than common sense or what we know is right

·         We seek to feed our felt needs regardless of how it affects others

Stage 5 – Destruction – the relationship is damaged

·         Damage is not necessarily irreparable, but it is serious

·         When we run toward the deception or the desire, it leads down a slippery slope

·         Our perception, our radar has been skewed

What do we do about it? How do we deal with it?

1)      Honest confession

a.       We need to take a hard look at ourselves – understand envy is dangerous

b.      When we begin to look high and mighty at ourselves, we set ourselves up

c.       Proverbs 16:18, 18 Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.

d.      Proverbs 29:23, 23 A man's pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor.

e.       Comparing ourselves to others does not bring honor to God

2)      Self control over your thoughts

a.       2 Corinthians 10:5, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

b.      Don’t allow ourselves to be controlled by comparisons, by outside influences

c.       Confess our thought life to the Lord as well as our actions

3)      Practice real love

a.       Others always come first

b.      Consider the feelings of others – put yourself in their shoes

c.       Real love doesn’t care if it gets reciprocated - but often does

4)      Remember God put you where you are for a reason

a.       God does everything He does out of love

b.      You have no idea what someone else may be going through on the inside

c.       Practice worship to be sure that your heart is in the right place

John 3:30

30He must become greater; I must become less.

Proverbs 13:10

10 Pride only breeds quarrels,

       but wisdom is found in those who take advice.