Self inflicted Hurt

Introduction

Thank you all for coming out tonight.

I’m looking forward to our groups starting next week. We will be in touch after Sunday once we have full sign ups and see which rooms will be used for which group.

I don’t know about you but I’m rejoicing over the two that were saved on Sunday and the two that were baptized.

It was definitely a great day in the church house.

Tonight we are ending our series on Church hurt. Last week we discussed how judging and being judged can effect us as individuals and the church through Romans 14. We also discussed how we are to mend things by looking at Matthew 18.

This evening I’d like for us to take a moment to look at how we can cause self inflicted hurt. Now, before I begin I want to preface this with saying, I do not believe that everything that other people do to you is your fault. I do not believe that every negative thing that happens to you is because you have sinned or is because you are being punished by God, or that you deserve because of who you are.

With that in mind, we will be looking at 1 Cor 12 and Paul’s description as the church as the body of Christ. It’s my desire that tonight we will see how we are unified in the body of Christ, why we need the church and the church needs us, and see the personal responsibility we have to seek after unity even when we have been hurt.

Follow along with me as I read

1 Cor 12:12-27

1 Corinthians 12:12–27 KJV 1900

12 For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also is Christ. 13 For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit. 14 For the body is not one member, but many. 15 If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? 16 And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? 17 If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling? 18 But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him. 19 And if they were all one member, where were the body? 20 But now are they many members, yet but one body. 21 And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you. 22 Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary: 23 And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness. 24 For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked: 25 That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another. 26 And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it. 27 Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular.

PRAY

See with me that

1. We are unified in Christ

verse 13, we are all baptized into one body..

Race, gender, culture, financial status, and any other differences that may be between us, don’t matter. They are not what brings Christians together nor should they be what tears Christians apart.

Too often churches find disunity in what we called non-essentials last week. Church splits have taken place of some very petty things.

I found a list from Thom Rainer, who put out a twitter survey to see what had caused fights and splits with churches.

He picked his top 25 and of that I’ve picked a few to read. The rest are printed for your enjoyment.

Argument over the appropriate length of the worship pastor’s beard (I think I saw a verse in Scripture that indicated it is to be no more than 1.5 inches longer than the pastor’s beard.).

Fight over whether or not to build a children’s playground or to use the land for a cemetery (I’m dying to know the resolution of this one.).

A deacon accusing another deacon of sending an anonymous letter, and deciding to settle the matter in the parking lot (The church could have sold tickets to this event and raised a lot of money.).

A church dispute of whether or not to install restroom stall dividers in the women’s restroom (I’m calling unfair on this one. The men should have their stall dividers too.).

A church argument and vote to decide if a clock in the worship center should be removed (I think this one is a timely argument.).

A 45-minute heated argument over the type of filing cabinet to purchase: black or brown; 2, 3, or 4 drawers (This one is an official cabinet meeting of the church leadership.).

A fight over which picture of Jesus to put in the foyer (I just want to know who took the pictures.).

A petition to have all church staff clean shaven (No church planters are allowed.).

A dispute over whether the worship leader should have his shoes on during the service (I vote for shoes, shirts, and pants.).

A big church argument over the discovery that the church budget was off $0.10. Someone finally gave a dime to settle the issue (I have to admit this issue is ten times more important than the church missing a penny.).

A dispute in the church because the Lord’s Supper had cran/grape juice instead of grape juice (Of course it should be grape juice. It’s right there in Hezekiah 4:11.).

Business meeting arguments about whether the church should purchase a weed eater or not. It took two business meetings to resolve (Wow. This fight was really whacky.).

Arguments over what type of green beans the church should serve (I could have resolved this conflict quickly: none.).

Two different churches reported fights over the type of coffee. In one of the churches, they moved from Folgers to a stronger Starbucks brand. In the other church, they simply moved to a stronger blend. Members left the church in the latter example (Perhaps they started a new church: The Right Blend Fellowship.).

Major conflict when the youth borrowed a crockpot that had not been used for years (I bet it was a bunch of crocky old adults.).

An argument on whether the church should allow deviled eggs at the church meal (Only if it’s balanced with angel food cake for dessert).

An argument over who has the authority to buy postage stamps for the church (The members were licking their wounds over this issue.).

A disagreement over using the term “potluck” instead of “pot blessing” (I get it! The concept of luck contradicts the theology of a sovereign God. This issue is very serious. Good luck trying to resolve it. ).

A church member was chastised because she brought vanilla syrup to the coffee server. It looked too much like liquor. (Beth Moore confessed she was the culprit who brought the syrup. Don’t you know, Beth, we Baptists cannot have vanilla syrup at anytime? Chocolate is fine though.).

An argument in church over who has access to the copy machine (I think a calendar should be made where every church member has at least five minutes access to the copy machine each year. You can have a business meeting to vote on each five-minute increment.).

Some church members left the church because one church member hid the vacuum cleaner from them. It resulted in a major fight and split (Thus the Second Electrolux Church was born.).

An argument over whether to have gluten-free communion bread or not (I thought gluteny was a sin.).

A dispute over whether the church should allow people to wear black t-shirts, since black is the color of the devil (Are you sure he’s not red? That’s what I’ve heard.)

A fight over whether or not to sing “Happy Birthday” each week (I’ve got an idea. Alternate it with the doxology.).

An argument over whether the fake, dusty plants should be removed from the podium (Just give them a little water. They should be fine.).

While we can and should find some of these amusing I want you think with me for a moment. There were someone or a group of people whose hearts had been so hardened by their own pride, by their own ideals, by their own selfish desires and thoughts on how things should be they could not muster up enough

Gal 5:22-23

Galatians 5:22–23 KJV 1900

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, 23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

When believers can begin to se their own lives united to others by the grace of God and through the power of the gospel then these little things will not matter in the least.

Christ died for the people of the church not the facilities of the church. His blood was shed for sinners who enter those doors not the decorations that adorn the interior. His life was given for us to have a relationship with God not a relationship with immaterial things that we can place before Him in our lives.

When we have done that....when we have placed something above God in our lives…we are committing the sin of idolatry.

most of the time we bow down to the golden calf of self.

Can you imagine the conversations of some of the business meetings in these churches “That coffee is too dark. We should throw it out.” and the response “If you think that then maybe we should throw you out.”

May God never allow us to find ourselves in that position. May we be a people united in the Gospel and living out

Matt 6:33

Matthew 6:33 KJV 1900

33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

When we as individuals take this as our lifes motto, then the church will operate as a unified body going through life to see souls saved, to see people grow in the Lord, and to see God glorified.

That’s why

2. The Church needs you & you need the church

Let’s first define again what the church is.

The word Church is translated from the Greek word “Ekklesia”

It means a called out assembly.

I do not believe in a universal church. I believe, based upon this definition and Paul’s planting of individual churches with specific pastors that the body of Christ is meant to exist in local independent New Testament Churches. That doesn’t mean they can’t work together, it does however mean I pastor you all and Tom Baran Pastor’s Grace Baptist. It means they do things their way and we do them ours. we will work out who was right in heaven.

A called out assembly is made of individuals. And, whether you know or not, one individual does not represent the whole.

Did you know that you can love an assembly and what it stands for but not like some people inside of it? You can not like how they speak to others, you can not like the way they wear their clothes, you can not like the same political party, and with all of those differences…you can still love each other. I didn’t say your inviting them over for the game or going golfing with them…I said you can love them.

You can pray for them. You can lend a hand when needed. You can also NOT talk to others about them. You can also NOT express your frustration.

The church as a whole needs you and you as an individual, just as I as an individual, have to keep in the front of our minds as much as our church needs me, the church needs those people I disagree with to.

The church is meant to exist in unity not conformity. Unity doesn’t come because everyone agrees. Unity comes because everyone has decided they will have it regardless of the disagreements.

I believe thats what makes marriages work. I believe thats what make any relationship work. Is the desire in the hearts of each person to say “by God’s grace we will be unified.”

that means we enter the relationship KNOWING we need to forgive, KNOWING we will mess up, KNOWING that no matter what…we will find it in hearts to seek First God’s Kingdom.

You have been hurt by someone in the church. You have found yourself on the recieving end of someone having diahrea of the mouth. Someone who felt as though they had the right to speak to you in some way. Maybe it was a person in leadership…a pastor, a pastors wife, a deacon, or a deacons wife. Maybe it was a teacher of director of one of the departments.

Remember, the hurt that was caused to you by that person was just that, form that person. You must, as an individual, deal with that personally and not take the sins of one and paint it on others.

The gospel unites us as a church and the church needs you to be apart and you need the church.

Why though?

Heb 10:25

Hebrews 10:25 KJV 1900

25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.

Because you need to be exhorted…I know…you use that word everyday right?

It means encouraged, strengthed.

Our ultimate strength comes from Christ.

Phil 4:13

Philippians 4:13 KJV 1900

13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Christ Died for the church, the assembly of believers made up of individuals and it is when gathered together with those of like faith (remember unified not conformed) we find strength to continue on through this world.

Think of the first century church and all that they faced. Think of the true persecution they faced to the highest degree. Living each day wondering if they would find you and kill you for your faith. Gathering with others to love on you and console you, lift you up and pray for you, would have been and should be for us, the highlight of our week.

Gathering for special gatherings and spending time with one another should make our hearts glad and happy, not burdened.

Whether you experience church hurt or haven’t, it’s this last point that I’d like to make sure everyone takes home

3. You are as connected to the church, as you want to be.

1 Cor 12:25-27

1 Corinthians 12:25–27 KJV 1900

25 That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another. 26 And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it. 27 Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular.

We are to have the same care for one another that we desire for ourselves.

We each give an account unto God for our actions, not others actions. You won’t give an account for how someone hurt you, you will give an account for how you respond to the hurt.

Notice Matthew 18 again

Matthew 18:15

Matthew 18:15 KJV 1900

15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

If you are offended or sinned against it’s YOUR responsibility to go to them to reconcile.

God does so much for us however there is a personal responsibility that we carry to go to Him and to act according to biblical truths and principles.

As we come out of last year and enter into this year with the thoughts of how disconnected we are, I challenge you to not look out and not say “no one is connecting with me” but instead ask yourself “how can I connect with others.”

Prov 18:24

Proverbs 18:24 KJV 1900

24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: And there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

Notice it’s not “if a man wants friends he must wait for them to be friendly.”

In the context of being hurt in the church, we have to remember that every other person is a broken sinner like us. The person hurting us, may be a person hurting.

Is it possible to put on our big boy pants and hear someone insult, talk bad about us, disagree with us, and not respond in our flesh?

What’s a fleshly response? One that responds in defense. One that responds with statements like “Well your not so great either” or “I’m not that bad and you blah blah blah”

That’s my initial response in my mind alot. You know, before the filter. Some of us need to work on that filter…right?

What do we do? We take that response, take it to God and ask Him Lord, is this how you want me to respond? Lord, does this response bring you glory?

You can also go to Him and say “God this hurt me. Lord, help me heal.”

Psalm 147:3

Psalm 147:3 KJV 1900

3 He healeth the broken in heart, And bindeth up their wounds.

Once we’ve went to the Lord over the matter THEN we can go to the person to reconcile and seek unity.

When we don’t do this. When we get in our flesh and focus on self rather than on our Savior, we allow the root of bitterness to take hold of our hearts and instead of causing any consequences to the person who hurt us, we hurt ourselves, those around us, and anyone in the future who might say something we don’t like. How?

Because we project the built up anger on them and overreact....ever done that before? I have...

When your hurt by someone in the church, don’t allow any self inflicted hurt to be a result of it. Seek God, Seek reconciliation, and Give forgiveness.

Time of Response

Is there anyone you need to forgive tonight?

Eph 4:32

Ephesians 4:32 KJV 1900

32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

How much has God forgiven you for? Could you forgive others for much less?

PRAY