5. A Hard Habit to Break

A Hard Habit to Break

John 8:31

Today we’re going to be wrapping up our series we’ve been calling… UnStuck...

- But if you remember, we started this series by admitting that... for most of us… our current reality has turned out way different than our childhood dreams…

- We dreamed of being a professional athlete, a rock star, the President of the US.

- We were going to conquer the world...

- And ALTHOUGH YOU MAY STILL BE WRESTLING THROUGH SOME OF THE THINGS WE’VE TALKED ABOUT, ONE REALITY we’ve all had to come to grips with IS that our current reality is the result of our past decisions…

… and WHEN WE MADE THOSE DECISIONS… WE were good with THEM… it’s the outcomes we’re not too happy with… … we just saw it going different and now we feel STUCK in a job… a relationship… a house payment… a pile of debt that we have no desire to be in…

… so our culture tells us the only way we will ever escape this rut to RUN...

- To cut ties and get out of Dodge…

- Quit this job, quit this marriage, quit this commitment

- All with the idea is that… by starting over and making different decisions… the outcomes of our lives will be different too.

- BUT then we came across this verse in Romans 12 that really threw a monkey wrench onto our theory.

Slide

Where the Apostle Paul says in Romans 12:2 NLT

“Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.”

- Essentially Paul is saying, “Okay I get it… you don’t like the outcomes of your life… and you think that making different decisions will change that… BUT WAIT A SECOND…

… If the same thought process that drove you to make your first bad decision is still driving you…

… the only possible result can be another bad decision...

- “Because at the end of the day… Paul says... You really don’t have a decision-making problem… you have a thinking problem!”

“So his point, which was given to him by God is that, A RENOVATED Life… a life that is UnStuck from undesirable outcomes… is only possible through renovated THINKING.”

- So over the last few weeks we’ve looked at how this plays out in some key areas of our lives…

#1 How we view God’s Plan for our lives (God knows what’s best for you better than you do)

#2 How we view Others (Every person we meet is someone Jesus died for)

#3 How we view Money (God owns it all)

SO today, as we wrap up this series, WE’RE GOING TO BE CONFRONTING PROBABLY THE BIGGEST OBSTACLE WE ALL WILL FACE IN STARTING THIS RENOVATION PROCESS…

… THE BIGGEST STUMBLING BLOCK to living the life we truly long to live...

AND this obstacle is a NASTY HABIT that every person in this room has…

- Turn to your neighbor and say… “You have a nasty habit!”

- This habit is what allows you to listen to a series like this and say “AMEN” and say, “That’s good preachin pastor.” … … and then walk out the door and completely ignore everything you have heard.

- This habit is the reason you’ve found yourself praying the same prayer a thousand times and yet nothing ever changes.

- It’s this habit that makes it where you can be confronted with something that you KNOW you have to change… but as soon as the shock or the embarrassment or the guilt wears off you go right back to it.

- And again it’s a habit that we all struggle with.

- But the PROMISE of today’s message is… if you would just have the courage to confront this habit head on… suddenly the path toward a transformed life will begin to come more clearly into focus…

And ultimately lead us to the transformed outcomes we’ve always dreamed of...

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But unfortunately our journey today starts with a bit of a tough sell…

Because it requires us all to admit something about ourselves that will make us a little uncomfortable...

And that is... No matter how spiritual you think you are… the reality of your life is that… 99% of the time if you’re given the choice between truth and happiness you’re going to choose happiness. (REPEAT)

- It’s why we can give the most convincing and accurate argument to our kids about not hanging out with the “BAD KID” … and then as we go pick them up from in school detention we find out they went and did it anyway...

… We say, “didn’t you understand when I said that they would be a bad influence and you would get into trouble?”... “YES”… “Well then why did you do it?”… “Because he’s really fun

and I like to hang out with him.”

- Or maybe you see your friend dating a guy that you know is bad news… you tell her about it… “Susie… he’s been married 4 times, an alcoholic, arrested 3 times for battery”… and find out she’s still dating him.

- You say “How can you still date this guy”… “B/c I like Him.”

- And this ridiculous habit is really easy to see when you’re on the outside looking in, but the picture gets far more murkey when you’re in the middle?

- You know that too much fast food is bad for you… but it’s convenient so you still eat it…

- You know that not enough exercise is bad for you… but it’s hard so you don’t do it…

- You know that racking up debt on credit cards is bad... but shopping is fun so you go...

- And the fact is you really hate the outcome… You hate the extra weight… the mountain of debt… but you still keep doing it… WHY?…

… for the same reason she’s dating that guy…

… for the same reason your kids do what you tell them not to…

… Because no matter how childish it sounds… The goal of your life is not to Find Truth… The Goal of your life is to find Happiness.

… and at least AT THE TIME… those things make you happy.

- AND you know what... no matter how good of a preacher I am… I can’t change that in you…

But here’s where that nasty habit that you have… your friend has... your neighbor has... gets REALLY DANGEROUS...

- Because we’re not kids anymore we feel like we have to come up with some logical and

practical reason why we do what we do.

- I eat at Mc Donald’s b/c President Trump says we should support the economy...

- I use credit cards b/c there are reward points at the end of the month...

- I don’t run on the treadmill b/c I don’t want to wear it out...

- I mean at least our kids are honest enough to say...“Well... I did that dumb thing b/c I wanted to.”

- BUT we feel that we have convince people that we did what we did for a good reason.

- “Why did you quit your job”…

... we can’t just say “because I wanted to.”… so we have to come up with a reason…

… “Because I wasn’t being fulfilled at this job”… “they didn’t respect my abilities”… “it was taking too much time from my family…”

- “Why did you buy that car?”

…instead of saying “b/c it’s cool and really fast and I wanted it.”…we say…

...“well they were having a tax refund sale”… “it gets better gas mileage than my other car”… “the warranty is better”… “the air bags are ergonomic”

-And we make up these reasons that really aren’t the reasons to convince people we’re responsible…

- I mean what kind of person would you be if you said …

… “Well, I’m dating him because he’s rich.”...

… “Well I bought it B/c my friend bought one.”…

… “We moved in together b/c we wanted to”…

- SO instead of being honest, we make up these reasons that aren’t really the reasons b/c we are afraid to say… “I did it Because I wanted to.”

… Now what I’m about to say may come as a complete shock to many of you… in fact it may change your whole world view in a just a brief moment but here it is.

… “NO ONE OVER THE AGE OF 8 REALLY BELIEVES YOUR LAME REASONS!”

- I mean… You don’t believe them when other people say them to you… what makes

you think they believe you?

- In fact… and this is the most dangerous part about what we’re talking about today... do you know who the ONLY person is that believes your LAME excuse… It’s not even your mom… I dare you… call her this afternoon and ask… the only person who actually believes your LAME excuse is YOU.

- So what we all do whether we know it or not is we make a decision… BECAUSE WE WANT TO… and then we scramble to make up a reason… even though it’s not the real reason… to justify our decision to everybody else around us… but the reality is nobody believes our lame reason, but us.

… So how do you like them apples?

ILLUSTRATION:

My uncle is a Viet Nam veteran and He would go to the get togethers with his battalion… and he said every year the stories get bigger… their heroism gets greater and he said you know the crazy thing is that the more they told the story they really started to believe their own lies.

It sounds cute and maybe even kind of funny… But can I tell you what is really happening when we give these LAME EXCUSES?… We Are Deceiving Ourselves.

- Now like I said earlier… It doesn’t matter how good of a preacher I am… I can’t change this in you...

… But here’s why this habit is so dangerous… As long as you’re deceiving YOURSELF about the decisions you’re making… as long as you’re hiding behind reasons that aren’t really reasons… you have no idea where you are.

- I mean you’ve even convinced yourself that... you’re quitting to help your family

… you’re leaving your wife to benefit the kids…

… you’re leasing the upgraded luxury model to keep your family safe…

… buying the vacation home to bolster the real estate market…

… and if you would slow down for just a minute… if you would force yourself to be completely honest… you know the truth is these aren’t the REAL resaons at all…

BUT UNFORTUNATELY… just like the person sitting next to you and all the other people here too… YOU’RE NOT NECESSARILY ON A SEARCH FOR TRUTH… you’re on a search for happiness.

… and in the midst of this search you’ve lost sight of where you really are.

- Now we started this series all saying… “Yeah, I want to get to a place where the outcomes of my life don’t feel like a noose or a bog I am STUCK in!”

… Where my outcomes are fulfilling and exciting…

… Where they look closer to the dreams I have for my life…

- But how many of you would agree… You can’t get where you want to be… if you have no idea where you’re starting from?

ILLUSTRATION:

- Let's say you invite someone to come to your house for dinner this afternoon and they give you a call and say, “Hey can you give me directions to your house?”

- What’s your first question going to be?... “Where are you coming from?”

- If they say I have no idea where I am you’re going to have a pretty difficult time getting them to your house aren’t you?

POINT: Every journey has to have a clear starting point…

SO on this journey to a renovated mind and ultimately renovated outcomes in our lives… if we spend our entire lives hiding behind reasons for our decisions that aren’t really the reasons… the result is we have no idea how to get from where we are to where God wants us to be.

- And all the while God is standing there saying… “Roger I want the outcomes of your life to be different too… and I promise I can make that happen by Renovating the way you think… but Roger we can’t renovate the way you think about Me… about others… about money… about life… until your willing to STOP lying to yourself.”

… until you’re willing to say, “Justifiable or not… This is the REAL reason why I am doing what

I do.”

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- Turn to Jeremiah 17:9

A little history to this verse… The Israelites have had a long string of really bad kings.

- They just made really bad choices and the worst was that they refused to follow God’s direction... Nothing like the US Government…

- So God sends Jeremiah the prophet, to tell them… “We need to STOP just doing whatever WE FEEL LIKE DOING… and we have to get back to doing what God is telling us to do.”

- But again… king after king refused to follow God's plan… and instead they led based on their own desires… UNTIL in frustration Jeremiah who could see through the lame excuses of the kings… throws up his hands and says…

Slide

Jeremiah 17:9-10 NIV

“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”

- You know what Jeremiah is saying to you and to me…? And I know I’m going to shake your world view for a 2nd time this morning… He’s saying… HALLMARK CHANNEL IS THE DEVIL!

… Oh no that’s not it… He was saying… “YOU CAN’T TRUST YOUR HEART!”

- And evethough it sounds romantic… and Hollywood has made billions telling us to… “Follow your heart.”… “What is your heart saying?”… “The only thing you can trust is your heart.”

- Jeremiah is saying, “Hold it… your heart is deceitful… you can’t trust it… in fact you can’t even understand it.”

- He’s saying, “Are you kidding… Your heart is that deceitful part of you that convinces you that you’re justified for doing some really awful things… YOU CANT TRUST IT!”

- Now if there is any sermon being preached this morning that I can relate to it’s this one, Do you want to know why?

- Because you know what happens in my life?

- I come across things that God has said… “TRUST ME… you don’t want to do that…”

- or something that I know will only bring tension into a relationship…

- Something that I’ve promised God a hundred times I will never do again… and do you know what I do???... I do it all over again...

- Then when I’m confronted by someone or even my own conscience… Do you know what I do?...

- I make up some lame reason that isn’t really the reason… b/c I have deceived myself to the point that I can’t just say… “I did it because I wanted to!”

Jeremiah says… “Roger, it’s because your heart is deceitful… it will lie to you and manipulate you… it will even trick you into believing the lies.”

And I’ve already told you… I cannot change that in you… in fact you can’t change that in you either...

- This is why the Words of Jesus are so profound in John 8 when He tells us…

Slide

John 8:31-32 NIV

“Then you will know the TRUTH, and the TRUTH will set you free."

… HE’s saying the only thing that is going to counteract the deception in your life is the TRUTH…

- B/c TRUTH is the Antithesis of Deceit…

So in reference to our series…

in response to our question of… “How do I live a life that is UNSTUCK from the undesirable outcomes I seem to find myself in?”

Jesus is saying… “The only thing that can move you from a life where you are constantly STUCK in the wake of your bad decisions is to be GUT LEVEL honest WITH YOURSELF… and rip away the lies about WHY you’re doing what you do…

… be honest about why you are leaving this marriage….

… why you are buying this car…

… why you are selling that old house…

… why you are quitting that job...

And even if the reason is just plain old… “Because I want to.” at least your honesty with yourself has set you on the verge of being set free.

… It pulls you out of the cycle of deceiving yourself that keeps you on this merry go round of dissatisfaction…

“I don’t get it Pastor Roger… how can admitting that I’m selfish and irresponsible and irrational set me free?

- Because at least NOW… you know where you are…

… and that means you now know where you’re starting from…

… you now have the beginning point of your journey…

… the address to type into Google Maps.

… And when we know where we are… God says,

“Now that you’re being HONEST ABOUT WHERE YOU ARE…WE CAN START THIS PROCESS OF RENOVATING THE WAY YOU THINK…

… and the result will be those desirable outcomes you’ve been dreaming of…

CONCLUSION:

You see... What we all need to understand is there is no one who wants you to have better outcomes in your life more than God… HE wants so badly for you to live a life that is fulfilled and enjoyable…

He created you with that in mind… and once we have the courage to trade in our Lame Excuses for TRUTH… EVEN UGLY TRUTH… God says… NOW YOU’VE GIVEN ME SOMETHING TO WORK WITH…

But as long as we are deceiving ourselves about the WHY we will always be stuck…

HOMEWORK:

Now other than memorizing our verse Romans 12:2 I have not really given you a lot of HOMEWORK in this series… But this week I want to challenge you all to spend some quiet time and ask the really tough question… Why Am I doing This REALLY?”

BOW HEADS

Prayer of Blessing:

May the LORD bless you and protect you. (Numbers 6:24)

May the LORD smile on you and be gracious to you. (Numbers 6:25)

May the God of peace, produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, all that is pleasing to him. (Heb 13:20)

So You will be blessed wherever you go, both in coming and in going. (Deut 28:6)

May the LORD show you his favor and give you his peace.' (Numbers 6:26)

And cause you to overflow with hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. (Rom 15:13)

AMEN