Husbands love your wives. . .

Introduction

A few weeks ago I talked about the role and call of a Christian wife according the revelation of God’s word. The wife’s role and call is to submit to her husband as she does to the Lord (Eph 5:22).

Again, submission is not a derogatory term. We are all commanded to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21). We submit to both authority and to one’s needs, and should think of submission as servitude towards one another to the glory of God.

In our study two weeks ago and our reading today, we will explore the husbands role and call as the head of the wife, in both leadership and source.

Headship is not lordship. Jesus is Lord. Nevertheless, Jesus is THE example--not AN example—all Christian husbands must measure themselves and mimic.

Husbands, although we are not perfect, as He is perfect, we must strive for perfection in demonstrating His love for our wives. I say that because our love do not cost anything, but His does!

So my purpose today is to magnify the perfect love of Jesus Christ for the Church to motivate Christian husbands to demonstrate Christ’s perfect love to their wives.

Ephesians 5:25–33 ESV

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

What is love?

Greek words for love- erao (deep sexual passion), phileo and storgeo (affections within family), and agape is a love that is active, totally unselfish, a love that does not seek its own satisfaction, nor answers affections with affections, but strives for the highest good of the one loved. It is self-sacrificing love.

Many associate love with some type of feeling. We do not fall in love. Love is a choice. According to Voddie Baucham, “biblical love is an act of the will accompanied by emotions that leads to action on behalf of its object.”

1 Corinthians 13:1–8 ESV

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.

How do we love our wives? Not with our own love but with the perfect love demonstrated by Christ.

Example of perfect love

Christ loved the church by (v 25)

“giving Himself up FOR her” (to death on the cross). There are two purposes:

“to make her holy”--sanctify/consecrate—(v 26)

“cleansing by the washing with water”: possible allusion to the sacrament of baptism or to an inward cleaning accomplished by the power of the gospel to free believers from sin (John 3:5; Titus 3:4-5).

“through the word (rhema)”: cleansing and sanctifying power of the word (John 15:3; 17:17). The use of this phrase shows the effective agent in the cleansing is not the water but the word.

“presenting her to Himself, radiant, without blemish, holy and blameless” (v 27): Usually a bride would take a ceremonial bath before marriage. She would adorn herself in beauty for her husband. The difference here is the bride can do nothing of herself to make herself beautiful in the eyes of the Lord. It is Christ who does the work in presenting the bride (church) to Himself, radiant, without blemish, holy and blameless.

Feeding and caring for His body (v 29)—for we are members: Verse 28 states: In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as the own bodies. We should have first hand experience in how Christ cares for His body. This alludes to what is said in Genesis 2:24 and quoted by Paul in verse 31. Christ feeds and cares for His body, the church, by shepherding it.

Read about the Good Shepherd in John 10.

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother to be united to his wife. . .” (v 31) Marriage is a sacred union between one man and one woman. Nothing else! “The union between male and female in marriage is meant to point beyond itself to God’s work of redemption and unification.”

Barry, J. D., Mangum, D., Brown, D. R., Heiser, M. S., Custis, M., Ritzema, E., … Bomar, D. (2012, 2016). Faithlife Study Bible (Eph 5:32). Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press.

“This is a profound mystery” (v 32): Does not mean that it still remains a great mystery. Instead, Paul is saying the truth revealed in the spiritual union of Christ and the Church is a wonderful one.

I must remind you, the manner in which Christ feeds and cares for the Church and the way husbands are commanded to love their wives as they love themselves is agape love (self-giving; sacrificial).

“Husbands love your wives as you love yourself and the wife must respect her husband” (v 33): Practical word for illustration given of Christ and the Church.

Conclusion

What are husbands to do?

Love (agape) your wives the same way Christ loves (apage) the Church

strive by seeking the highest good of the one loved

must be a Man of the Word (know, teach, and live)

shepherd in the home, not a hired hand

Ephesians: An Introduction and Commentary a. Husbands and Wives (5:22–33)

seek his own highest spiritual welfare, and so the highest good of his wife in every way, as united with himself in the marriage bond.

she is first order of business in the home

My personal story of how our marriage was redeemed by Christ.