The Sting of Betrayal

John 13:21–30 (ESV)

One of You Will Betray Me

21 After saying these things, Jesus was troubled in his spirit, and testified, “Truly, truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me.” 22 The disciples looked at one another, uncertain of whom he spoke. 23 One of his disciples, whom Jesus loved, was reclining at table at Jesus’ side, 24 so Simon Peter motioned to him to ask Jesus of whom he was speaking. 25 So that disciple, leaning back against Jesus, said to him, “Lord, who is it?” 26 Jesus answered, “It is he to whom I will give this morsel of bread when I have dipped it.” So when he had dipped the morsel, he gave it to Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot. 27 Then after he had taken the morsel, Satan entered into him. Jesus said to him, “What you are going to do, do quickly.” 28 Now no one at the table knew why he said this to him. 29 Some thought that, because Judas had the moneybag, Jesus was telling him, “Buy what we need for the feast,” or that he should give something to the poor. 30 So, after receiving the morsel of bread, he immediately went out. And it was night.

Betrayal.

Probably most of us can look back at a time in our lives when we felt betrayed by someone.

When someone whom you thought was your friend

Someone you thought you could trust

Turned on you. Something happened between you, maybe you aren’t even sure what it all was.

All you know is, this person that you used to talk to, hang out with, sit down to coffee with, go hunting with, whatever

This person won’t talk to you any more

In fact, you haven’t seen this person in months or years.

I had a friend in high school. We were pretty good buddies. I used to love to hang out with him.

I didn’t have a lot of friends in high school, so this friendship meant a lot to me.

One morning I came to school and he wouldn’t talk to me.

The friendship was over just like that.

That was 34 or 35 years ago, and I have hardly talked to him since.

I had some contact with him on FB, and I asked him what happened. He couldn’t remember and was pretty vague about everything.

Betrayal. I felt so betrayed. It’s like a sting in your heart

And what makes betrayal so hard and why it opens up such a wound is because the very nature of betrayal is that it happens with someone whom you love

David expresses this in Psalm 55:

Psalm 55:12–15 (ESV)

12 For it is not an enemy who taunts me—

then I could bear it;

it is not an adversary who deals insolently with me—

then I could hide from him.

13 But it is you, a man, my equal,

my companion, my familiar friend.

14 We used to take sweet counsel together;

within God’s house we walked in the throng.

If there is someone you can barely stand to be with, and one day that person turns on you and starts telling lies, or won’t talk to you, or tries to destroy you, that’s hard, right?

But it’s not betrayal. you kind of expected it would happen

But when someone you love does this, it goes deep. Because you have shared your life and your heart with this person

And because you have trusted this person, you don’t expect betrayal, and you aren’t ready for it when it happens.

Is it any wonder that it is so hard?

Look how hard it was for Jesus.

He knew that he would be betrayed, who was going to do it, and when it was going to happen!

Yet, still His heart was broken.

In our passage today, it says that Jesus was “troubled in His spirit” and said, “I tell you the truth, one of you is about to betray me.”

I always thought that He was troubled because His death was so close.

But I wonder, could it have been rather that he was troubled, heartbroken, sad, because of the betrayal that was about to happen?

We think, “Yeah, but it was Judas. Bad, bad Judas. Nobody really liked Judas anyway. He was a thief, he was greedy. Nobody liked him anyway.”

He would do something like that!

I would beg to differ with you. He was specially chosen by Jesus to be one of His “inner circle”. One of the 12 who would spend 3 years seeing Jesus in action and getting to know Him as one of His closest friends.

Do you think Jesus didn’t love Judas? I think He did!

Judas was one of His close friends!

His spirit was troubled because of what a close friend was about to do.

Jesus says to His close friends, “truly, truly, I say to you, ‘One of you will betray me’.

The conversation which was starting to pick up again after Jesus washed their feet ends in shocked silence. You could have heard a pin drop.

Uneasy glances are exchanged around the table.

One of US is going to betray Jesus?

And what does He mean by “betray” anyway? How would we betray Him?

Whispering and muttering starts to ripple around the table.

Peter, noticing the downcast eyes and troubled expression of Jesus waves his hand to get the attention of John who is leaning back against Jesus

He mouths to him, “ask him who it is”

John barely able to speak, looks up at Jesus and chokes out, “Lord, who is it? Who would do such a thing?”

Jesus says, (to John?) “It’s the one to whom I give this morsel of bread.”

A symbol of friendship, goodwill and hospitality. If the host dipped a piece of bread in the sauce and gave it to you, it was a sign of peace between you and him.

Jesus takes this piece of bread, dips it into the sauce and gives it to....not Peter, not James, not John. JUDAS. He gives the sign of peace and friendship to Judas.

John is stunned.

And when Jesus tells him to get on with his business and Judas slips from the room, the rest of the disciples are confused.

They think that Jesus has sent him on a re-supply errand or a mission for the poor because he has the money bag.

The door closes with a click behind Judas. And it was night.

Quite fitting since Jesus had just told the people in Chapter 12, “The light is with you for just a little bit longer. Walk while you have the light, because those who try to walk in darkness have no idea where they are going.”

This is certainly the case with Judas who was now possessed by Satan. Little did he realize what he was about to do, and the horrible end that would come to him because of it.

Betrayal. Jesus is being betrayed by a close personal friend

Has this happened to you?

What do we do when we have been betrayed?

How do we respond? There may be some of us here today who have never effectively dealt with the sting of betrayal. IT has never healed and even now as you think about it, it’s still biting at your heart.

Recognize what betrayal does to us

Betrayal causes pain

Pain if not dealt with, turns to resentment

Resentment turns to bitterness

Hebrews 12:15 calls it a “root of bitterness”.

Why? because once you are bitter, it is worse than the toughest of weeds to get rid of. It’s worse than that weed that you try to pull out and it just snaps off

When pain has turned to resentment, and that resentment has turned to bitterness, it roots into your heart and lodges there.

Recognize bitterness as sin. My sin.

Realize the true reason that we are bitter.

Oh that’s easy. It’s because of what he/she did back then. It’s because they betrayed me

No! I believe the real reason is the first part o Hebrews 12:15: “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God.”

The sin in bitterness is that we have failed to obtain the grace of God.

We have failed to understand and appreciate what the grace of God means in our own lives

We fail to understand that we have over and over again betrayed Jesus by saying that we are His friend, or trying to pretend that we are His friend, yet in our actions and life saying otherwise.

See, Judas, was not the last person to betray Jesus. I’ve done it over and over again, in ways that are too many to count!

I’ve said, “Yes, Lord, I’ll follow you”. But when it comes down to it, there are other things that I put first.

We’ve put the love of money in front of Him

We’ve put the desire to be liked in front of Him

And in doing that, I betray Him.

Yet, God in His grace over and over again forgives and restores the relationship!

The seriousness of bitterness against our brother or sister is that it is a sin against our Savior! Because in our bitterness, we fail to recognize the grace of God that He has shown us.

Confess it as sin

As with any sin, this is one that has to be acknowledged and confessed.

We call it what it is. We name it. We bring it out into the open

We pull it out from where Satan would like to keep it hidden

He is the deceiver and wants to keep us decieved by keeping things hidden and making us think everything is OK

But we reduce his power when we bring to light hidden things.

And the verse that we know so well 1 John 1:9 says that when we confess our sin, our faithful and just God will forgive our sin and cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness.

There is not any unrighteous act that He cannot and will not forgive when confessed to Him.

We seek to forgive those who have betrayed us

You might ask, How do I know if I need to forgive?

That’s largely between you and God. But here’s one way.

Bitterness keeps an accurate detail of how you were hurt.

Some of you have had physical injuries and you can remember the day, the time, place, what you were wearing.

heart wounds can be the same way.

If you can remember every detail about this particular event, it’s possible that you have not forgiven.

1 Cor. 13 says that love keeps no record of wrong!

Love and forgiveness walk closely hand in hand. Forgiveness will also keep no record of wrong!

What does forgiveness look like?

Realize that forgiveness isn’t a drive-through window.

You don’t just drive up and say, I’d like one order of forgiveness, super-sized, and an order of love to go with it.

Sometimes forgiveness is a long process.

Sometimes it’s a choice we make and then God takes us on a journey of learning to forgive and we have to actively forgive each day. Maybe many times a day.

Someone gave me this picture:

Out of love for my Savior and for this person, I choose to bear this pain that was caused. I choose to carry it on my shoulders to the foot of the cross and lay it down there. Because there is where my Savior showed His forgiveness for my own betrayal.

and as we do this over and over again, His grace is magnified in our hearts, and the pain of the betrayal that we experienced becomes lighter and lighter.

And remember how we said that love keeps no record of wrongdoing?

If you can look back and that event is getting blurry in your vision and you feel like you need a strong pair of spectacles to see it, then I would say that you are on the journey to forgiveness.

I know that I have experienced it with this friend that I told you about and I am working at doing it with other betrayal taht I have felt.

Jesus is our ultimate example. You have felt betrayed. But Jesus knows exactly what that is like

Psalm 55:12–15 (ESV)

12 For it is not an enemy who taunts me—

then I could bear it;

it is not an adversary who deals insolently with me—

then I could hide from him.

13 But it is you, a man, my equal,

my companion, my familiar friend.

14 We used to take sweet counsel together;

within God’s house we walked in the throng.

15 Let death steal over them;

let them go down to Sheol alive;

for evil is in their dwelling place and in their heart.