MARRIAGE SECRETS #1 Love

WHAT WE WILL COVER IN MARRIAGE SECRETS

1. LOVE

2. COMMITMENT

3. HONESTY

4. FAITH

5. GOD’S DESIGN FOR UNITY Part 1

6. GOD’S DESIGN FOR UNITY Part 2

7. LOVE IS LAYING DOWN YOUR LIFE

8. IDENTIFYING BITTERNESS

9. DELIVERANCE FROM BITTERNESS

10. MONEY MANAGEMENT

11. PARENTING

LOVE MARRIAGE SECRET #1



Must Be Willing To Do Whatever It Takes

Absolute "Yes Lord"

The foundation for Marriage is the foundation for life

THE MARRIAGE EQUATION

A Marriage problem = A Love problem

A Love problem = God problem

A God problem =A Selfishness problem...or a Lordship problem..

LOVE, THE FOUNDATION FOR ALL OF LIFE

1. God Is Love

 1Jn 4:7-8  God is love

1 John 4:7–8 NIV - Anglicised

7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

Love The New Command

John 13:34

John 13:34 NIV - Anglicised

34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

Love Is The New, All Encompassing Command

It is the Command that replaces all the other commands

 A. Love The Greatest Command

Mark 12:28-31 Greatest command is love

Mark 12:28–31 NIV - Anglicised

28 One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?” 29 “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

B. Love Fulfills God's Entire Law

 Gal 5:14 Love fulfills the entire law...New Command is Love

Galatians 5:14 NIV - Anglicised

14 The entire law is summed up in a single command: “Love your neighbour as yourself.”

 Rom 13:9-10 Love is the fulfillment of the law.

Romans 13:9–10 NIV - Anglicised

9 The commandments, “Do not commit adultery,” “Do not murder,” “Do not steal,” “Do not covet,” and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: “Love your neighbour as yourself.”10 Love does no harm to its neighbour. Therefore love is the fulfilment of the law.

C. Love The Fullness Of God’s Character

Gal 5:22-23 Love is the fruit of the Spirit

Galatians 5:22–23 NIV - Anglicised

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

1Cor 13:4-8 Love is patient, love is kind, etc.

1 Corinthians 13:4–8 NIV - Anglicised

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Love is Giving

 John 3:16 

John 3:16 NIV - Anglicised

16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

 The nature of God is giving

The nature of love is giving

2. The Marriage Problem

A Marriage problem = A Love problem

A Love problem = God problem

A God problem =A Selfishness problem...or a Lordship problem..

There cannot be a marriage problem where love is in control

Based on 1Cor 13:4-8 and Gal 5:22-23

The Marriage Problem Is Marriage Where Love Is Not In Control

WHY?

LOVE IS Patient, Kind, Selfless, Humble, Forgiving

LOVE IS NOT Envious, Boastful, Proud, Or Unforgiving,

LOVE DOES NOT Delight in evil, Keep a Record of Wrongs

LOVE ALWAYS Protects, Trusts, Hopes, Perseveres

THE LORDSHIP PROBLEM

MAN PARTOOK OF THE DO IT YOURSELF TREE

GEN 2:16-17 Don’t partake of the knowledge of good and evil

Genesis 2:16–17 NIV - Anglicised

16 And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.”

Gen 3:1-11 The partaking of the do it yourself tree

Genesis 3:1–11 NIV - Anglicised

1 Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” 2 The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 3 but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’ ” 4 “You will not surely die,” the serpent said to the woman. 5 “For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” 6 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. 7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realised that they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. 8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” 10 He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” 11 And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree from which I commanded you not to eat?”

Man Decided to Be His Own God

Self On The Throne

Living by his own righteousness

Gen 3:22 God: Man has become like one of us

Genesis 3:22 NIV - Anglicised

22 And the Lord God said, “The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live for ever.”

The only thing God never wanted for man was the only thing that Satan wanted for man…SELF

The Opposite Of Love Is Self

Man became wrapped up in self...

Self righteous

Self centered

Self preservation

Self protection...

The Blame game?

Gen 3:9-13 The woman you gave me

Genesis 3:9–13 NIV - Anglicised

9 But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” 10 He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” 11 And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree from which I commanded you not to eat?” 12 The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” 13 Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

The epitome of Self Righteousness

This woman you gave me

The serpent made me do it..

Having a standard of righteousness that we lean on causes us to fight for our righteousness and therefore fight with each other.

Example: You left your dirty clothes on the floor

THE NEW COVENANT IS THE OPPOSITE OF BLAMING… BECAUSE RIGHTEOUSNESS IS WITHOUT MERIT.

SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE IS WHEN TWO PEOPLE ARE ALL ABOUT LOVE

How Can I Feel Righteous or Right About Myself?

Not by the opinion of others!!!

Gal 3:11 No one is justified by the law

Galatians 3:11 NIV - Anglicised

11 Clearly no-one is justified before God by the law, because, “The righteous will live by faith.”

The righteous will live by faith

SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE IS WHEN TWO PEOPLE ARE ALL ABOUT LOVE

3. Where Do I Get Love?

Go to the source

1John 4:7 Love comes from God

1 John 4:7 NIV - Anglicised

7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.

Gal 5:22 Love is a fruit (by product) of the Spirit

Galatians 5:22 NIV - Anglicised

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

2Tim 1:7 God has given us a Spirit of Love

2 Timothy 1:7 NIV - Anglicised

7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

4. How Do I Get Love

Love Comes From Meditation on Love

Love can never be worked up, it must be soaked up

Sponge:… You can only give away what you possess

You Can Only Give Away What You Possess

You’ll Never Work It Up— You Must Soak It Up!

What you think about the most determines your future success

Romans 12:2 Transformed by the renewing of your mind

Romans 12:2 NIV - Anglicised

2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Set Your Mind

Your minute by minute meditation determines your future

What you behold, you will become

Col 3:1-2 Set your minds on things above

Colossians 3:1–2 NIV - Anglicised

1 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

Phil 4:6-8 Whatsoever things are pure and lovely

Philippians 4:6–8 NIV - Anglicised

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

If you change the way you think, you will change the way you feel... If you change the way you feel, you will change the way you act... If you change the way you act, you will change your entire destiny. 

THE PRICE OF YOUR FUTURE IS YOUR PRESENT

The secret of your future is hidden within your daily routine

4. A Great Marriage Comes From Real Decisions

-Decide To Live A Life Of Soaking Up God

-Decide To Believe You Are Everything God Has Ever Wanted

-Decide To Genuinely Accept That You Are God's Dream Come True

A GREAT MARRIAGE IS A BY-PRODUCT OF RECEIVING LOVE