To Be Known, Loved, and Cared For

Why 4L Groups?

You know when someone repeats themselves several times that they are saying something we should really be listening to.

White Water Rafting- if you fall out, point your feet forward and swim toward the boat.

Driving- always check your blind spot.

Baseball- put your back elbow up and WATCH THE BALL

The more important the message, the more times you are likely going to hear it.

When we come to the Bible we find there are certain themes that are repeated often which means, using the same logic as before, those are messages we need to pay close attention to.

The Greek word allélón (pronounced phonetically as al-lay’-lone) is used 100 times in the New Testament.

Of the 5437 unique words used in the NT, only 319 of those words occur more than 50 times.

So allélón must be a very important word to be included in that number.

The word is translated “One another” or “each other” and is most commonly used along with an imperative statement (a command to do something).

59 time of the 100 uses of the word allélón is used as an instruction to believers on how they are to treat other believers.

So allélón statements are commands that define how we are to live in community with one another.

Here is a sampling:

1. “…Be at peace with each other.” (Mark 9:50)

2. “…Wash one another’s feet.” (John 13:14)

3. “…Love one another…” (John 13:34)

8. “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love…” (Romans 12:10)

9. “…Honor one another above yourselves. (Romans 12:10)

10. “Live in harmony with one another…” (Romans 12:16)

13. “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you…” (Romans 15:7)

14. “…Instruct one another.” (Romans 15:14)

17. “…Have equal concern for each other.” (I Corinthians 12:25)

20. “…Serve one another in love.” (Galatians 5:13)

23. “Carry each other’s burdens…” (Galatians 6:2)

24. “…Be patient, bearing with one another in love.” (Ephesians 4:2)

25. “Be kind and compassionate to one another…” (Ephesians 4:32)

28. “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Ephesians 5:21)

30. “Do not lie to each other…” (Colossians 3:9)

31. “Bear with each other…” (Colossians 3:13)

41. “…Spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” (Hebrews 10:24)

45. “Confess your sins to each other…” (James 5:16)

46. “…Pray for each other.” (James 5:16)

Andy Stanley argues from the use of this word: “The primary activity of the church was one-anothering one another.”

I think Stanley is right. Why else would Jesus, Paul, Peter, James, and the author of Hebrews use this word in the way that they did.

Last week we looked at Hebrews 10:19-25 seeking to answer “Why should we all be in a 4L Group?”

The author of Hebrews challenges us to “not neglect to meet together” and I argued he was not just talking about not missing a Sunday service.

The prominence of one another statements makes clear the vital importance of true community in the life of a believer.

“When everyone is sitting in rows…you can’t do any one anothers. – Andy Stanley

My agenda today is practical and applicable.

I want to talk about how these one another commands shape the life of the church in community and how we all have a deep need to be shaped by these elements of community.

I am not going to talk about all 59, instead we will look at them in 4 themes.

How we DO Life: Living in Community

Themes of One Anothering

1) LOVE one another actively.

John 13:34–35 ESV

34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Jesus isn’t really giving the disciples a “New” commandment. The second half of the ten commandments are focused on loving others well.

Rather Jesus is refreshing and refocusing an essential part of being a Christian in community.

He uses the word “Agape” in this verse as well as the other verse where we are told to “love one another”.

Agape love is the kind of love God loves us with

It is an unconditional, sacrificial kind of love.

It is a love that isn’t dependent on me earning it or loving up to it’s standards.

It is a love that gives of itself freely and without expectation of return.

Jesus points the the nature of the kind of love we are to have toward one another with the statement “Just as I have loved you...”

Gospel- Motivated, Gospel-Modeled love

In a world that constantly measures us, rates us, judges us, and criticizes us, we all desire a place where we can be loved without conditions.

We desire to be a part of a people who accept us and care for us not because we fit their criteria or because we have earned our place.

This is not a rejection of biblical morality and standards.

But gospel-motivated, Gospel-modeled community does not call us to measure up, it recognizes our own struggles with sin and unbelief, our need for continual repentance, and the astounding love we have been shown by God through Christ.

And that love compels us, controls us, and calls us to love others the same way.

To love one another well we must be willing to take off masks, stop hiding behind these fake personas that we are well put together and aren’t deeply flawed, deeply broken people in desperate need of love from our Father in Heaven and from our brothers and sister in Christ.

Living in community is not easy because it means we have to let down our guard, we have to be willing to be known, and we have to be willing to love others not just with our words, but with our time, treasures, our homes, our emotions, and ourselves.

It is hard, but it is what we all really desire, to be known, to be loved, to be accepted, and to be cared for.

2) Pursue UNITY and FORGIVENESS at all costs.

Unity is a common theme of the letters of Paul and his one another commands:

“Live in harmony with one another” Romans 12:16

“Stop passing judgement on one another” Romans 14:13

“Have equal concern for one another” 1 Cor 12:25

“Be patience, bearing with one another in love.” Eph 4.2

“Don’t lie to one another” Eph 4:25, Col 3:9

Each of these one another commands are meant to promote unity in the community, not uniformity.

We are going to disagree, say the wrong thing, disappoint one another, and even hurt one another at times.

But unity, motivated by love for one another, requires us to remain devoted to one another even in our disagreements and our conflict.

AND it requires us to forgive one another in the same way we have been forgiven in Christ.

“Forgiving one another, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Eph 4:32; Colossians 3:13

Any time you have been a part of a group of people who you felt unity with there was something at the core of that relationship that you were able to unify around.

A team unifies around the goal of winning.

A crew at work unifies over getting the job done.

A family is brought together by shared grief or shared commitment to one another.

A group of friends are unified around interests, history together, or stages of life.

Our connections within the church are similar, but with one much bigger, much more essential piece of unity, the blood of Jesus.

accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you…” (Rom 15:7)

Christian community ought to be marked by a culture of grace, forgiveness, and harmony/unity.

Who wouldn’t want to be connected to a community of people to sought to listen, respect one another, and forgive freely.

3) SERVE one another HUMBLY and SACRIFICIALLY.

Jesus gives us a powerful glimpse at what it means to serve one another humbly and sacrificially in John 13.

John 13:2–5 ESV

2 During supper, when the devil had already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, to betray him, 3 Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going back to God, 4 rose from supper. He laid aside his outer garments, and taking a towel, tied it around his waist. 5 Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel that was wrapped around him.

Don’t miss how profound Jesus’s action is here.

It is said that Satan had already put it in the heart of Judas that he would betray Jesus.

Jesus knows his heart is corrupt and that he has determined to turn his back on Him.

But nonetheless, Jesus laid His outer clothing aside, took a towel, and tied it around His waste, poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples feet and dry them with the towel.

He didn’t exclude Judas,

He didn’t serve the disciples because they deserved it or earned it.

He didn’t wash their feet our of obligation and He sure didn’t gain anything by doing it. (Judas wasn’t swayed from what he had decided to do.)

Jesus did what He did to show us how we are to love and serve one another.

John 13:12–15 ESV

12 When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, “Do you understand what I have done to you? 13 You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. 14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you.

Serving one another is not alway convenient or comfortable.

It is actually often pretty costly and sometime can take a lot of our time.

Example of Alex in Detroit Lakes

4) ENCOURAGE and EDIFY one another at all times.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 ESV

11 Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

Ephesians 4:29–32 ESV

29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

What is the motive, the aim of Christian community? Ultimately to make us more like Jesus.

How are our words toward those around us, or our words about those around us being used?

Are the intended to build one another up, to encourage one another toward Jesus?

Or are they like venom in their intention to hurt someone directly, indirectly, or hurt their reputation?

Slander, gossip, anger, bitterness, sarcasm, and malice are all forms of selfish, unloving actions that are all too familiar in the life of the church.

And those things hinder and even destroy our ability to live in genuine community.

True encouragement has to come from a genuine commitment to that other person. This is where you’re speaking from your heart of love to their heart. Their heart can mean a heart of fear, in which case you may be addressing those fears as you speaking words of encouragement to it. Or you can be affirming positive qualities in the other person you already see.

When we choose to speak life giving words to each other, this has the effect of building each other up. But admonishing, instructing or correcting should also be for the purpose of deepening our relationship with God and not simply to tear each other down. When we don’t build each other up, this has the effect of creating disunity between believers. In a sense then, this section is the other side of the coin of unity. Both go hand in hand.

We all need encouragement and edification.

Colossians 3:16 ESV

16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.

This is at the heart of what it means to “stir one another up to love and good works.”

Our groups ought to be a place of encouragement in this race of faith.

Watching a marathon