Building Breakthrough Families

Grace Chapel’s Vision

One of the 1st things that I considered when I became the pastor was the problem that all leaders have, “Where are we going?” Well, the Bible has a lot to say about it. Acts 2, Romans 12, Revelation, and others helped me see where He wants us to go. It helped me to categorize these areas as “servants, citizens, Spirit-filled, and Christ-like.”

However, for years I wrestled with terms like mission, vision, and strategic plans. It’s not that I didn’t have training in understanding them. I had a lot of training – probably too much. But I still struggled with it until about 2 years ago when I was listening to a speaker at the Christian Businessman’s Luncheon. He said this, “Your vision is the result of implementing your strategy to meet your vision. The outcome is your vision.” The light came on in my head.

So, I realized that if we practice

a lifestyle of worship,

connect to God and others,

provide a place to grow,

understand that saved people serve others,

and embrace His message as our mission (Go)

then we will achieve our organizational mission of …

Finding true life in Jesus Christ through the power of the Holy Spirit.

As a result, we will be achieving our vision of…

Growing families that transform communities for Christ.

At my heart is the family of God, certainly families from young adults, newly married, young families, and all the way up to seniors; but also, the family of God into which we are all adopted. So, my heart and, I believe, your hearts beat for the family. I also believe that this year can be an exciting year for each of us and our families as we serve the Lord with 100% of our hearts. It can be a Breakthrough year for the family.

Joshua’s Challenge to Us

As the nation of Israel was being founded, the successor of Moses, Joshua, makes a powerful statement that is in many of our homes. It is, of course,

Joshua 24:15 NIV

But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

His statement is emphatic and bold. And, we need to be equally emphatic and bold with our families today. As grandparents Cindy and I have found it to be strange that when we give advice to young families, the parents often roll their eyes as though there is no way that we know what we are suggesting or that it is impossible. (Can I get an Amen from the grandparents out there?) Well, I guess we had to walk it out ourselves as well. But, this declaration by Joshua is timeless and powerful for all of us today. The family is vital!

There is no doubt that the family is God’s plan and is special. As Princeton University sociologist Sara McLanahan has noted:

If we were asked to design a system for making sure that children’s basic needs were met, we would probably come up with something quite similar to the two-parent ideal. Such a design, in theory, would not only ensure that children had access to the time and money of two adults, it also would provide a system of checks and balances that promoted quality parenting. The fact that both parents have a biological connection to the child would increase the likelihood that the parents would identify with the child and be willing to sacrifice for that child, and it would reduce the likelihood that either parent would abuse the child.[1]

I don’t know the sociologist making this statement (btw, it was a statement for the Senate) but she is right on. The family is the perfect plan to meet one another’s needs – it is God’s Plan!

Breakthrough Families Choose to Serve the Lord

In the verses leading up to Joshua’s proclamation that he and his family would serve the Lord, he gives a Spirit led word of the Lord. In these 13 verses God reminds the people of everything that He has done for them.

We live in a culture that doesn’t understand the Biblical model of the family, so let’s take a moment to consider the plans that God has for the family. God speaks to us today in many ways but primarily through the Word of God so let’s see what it has to say…

The Family is in the DNA of the Ten Commandments

Honor Your Mother and Father

The commandments give us brief descriptions of the way we ought to behave. The 1st four commandments focus on our relationship with God. The next 6 deal with the way we interact with others. 3 of those give us insight into the family.

Honor Your Parents

Exodus 20:12 NIV

“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

There are a couple things we can notice from this commandment:

1. It is ONE father and ONE mother

2. It is both a FATHER and a MOTHER

3. It lists them both equally

When kids begin to “play” the parents against one another. “Mommy is my best friend. She’s my girlfriend. Don’t speak to my girlfriend that way”

You shall not commit adultery

Exodus 20:14 NIV

“You shall not commit adultery.

The Seventh Commandment (Ex 20:14; Deut 5:18) secures the home. It says that whatever children are born will be family-born. All or any sex union out of marriage is barred by the family idea. Outside of that all sexual union is sin.

You shall not covet your neighbor’s …

Exodus 20:17 NIV

“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”

The Family Should be Balanced

In 1 Corinthians 7 the Apostle Paul deals with the unique problem of marriages divided between believers and unbelievers. In his instructions he references the problems that come from husbands and wives who are divided by belief in Jesus. In his second letter he will use a term that identifies the problem of a divided faith.

“Equally yoked” is a strange term to most people today. You can probably Google it, but it’s not a setting on your phone. It refers to animals linked together to pull a plow or maybe a wagon.

2 Corinthians 6:14–15 NIV

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?

My grandfather was a farmer in the foothills of the Adirondack Mountains. I grew up listening to my mother tell me many stories of her childhood on the farm. I knew her favorite horse was a light grey horse named Sandy, but I didn’t know that Sandy’s main function at the farm was as a working horse. She was a smart horse, a well-trained leader who knew what to do in the traces pulling wagons, plows, and logs from the ravines.

Sandy’s normal teammate was Colonel. But Colonel had to work as a partner in the team. If he was harnessed by himself, he wouldn’t do a thing. Sandy had to be working right next to him. It was interesting that Colonel was the stronger horse, but he didn’t want anything to do with being in charge. Sandy was the lead.

My mother told me about how fortunate she and her parents felt about their team of Sandy and Colonel. Driving to and from Newport and Poland they would see other farmers struggle with their teams. These horses would twist and kick, fuss one another, step over and out of their harnesses. What a chore their owners had as they fought to untangle the mess of these selfish and hard-headed teams!

Sandy would pull alone or with another horse and did so for many years until she became lame after being hit by a runaway log when she was loaned to a neighbor.

God's ideal for the family is that it be a harmonious unit, where love for God and neighbor are instilled into each member. If the couple are divided, especially over religious beliefs, they can never have the harmony and sense of common purpose that God desires. Therefore, Old Testament believers were instructed not to marry foreigners who would hinder their faith and bring strife to the marriage. Likewise, the apostle Paul commanded the New Testament believers, "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers".[i]

The Bible describes situations where a man went contrary to the will of God and married an unbeliever. A prime example is Solomon, who disobeyed God's commandment and married 700 wives. The tragedy of the final years of his life is summarized in one sentence: "For it was so, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned his heart after other gods; and his heart was not loyal to the Lord his God, as was the heart of his father David" (1 Kings 11:4). His wives and their gods caused Solomon to take his eyes off the living God.

Through the Family We Can Understand Our Relationship with Christ

In the book of Ephesians we see the relationship and responsibilities of the husband and wife. If we take a look a little closer we will also see how the family describes our relationship to Christ. Paul sets up his point by using a parallel logic:

Ephesians 5:22–33 NIV

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

1. The wife’s submission to her husband is the way we should submit to Christ.

2. The husband’s love of his wife is a reflection of the love Christ has for us.

3. The husband’s loving sacrifice for his wife is a reflection of the sacrifice that Christ made for the church.

4. A man’s willingness to leave his parents to be joined to his wife is a reflection of Christ’s commitment to leave His father, His home, and be joined to the Church

I’ve never considered this passage from this viewpoint before. So, the family helps us understand submission to Christ, His sacrifice, and his commitment to the Church.

We all know that the Bible’s description of the family being reflected in our society less and less. The Bible must be our map for us to live lives that please the Lord and bring health and goodness to the lives of others around us. Understanding that the notion of the family is imprinted into the 10 commandments, needs to be spiritually balanced, and teaches us about our relationship to Christ demonstrates God’s interest in families today.

So, what can we do to …

Build YOUR Breakthrough Family

Cindy and I were introduced to Dr. Delgado a week ago. He challenged each of us with 4 steps to maximize potential. I want to challenge us this morning in the same way but with focus on building Breakthrough Families in 2021!

Accept personal responsibility – nothing happens without you making a ‘Joshua’ decision

· Your choices always determine more than your circumstance.

· There are 3 types of people: accusers, excusers, choosers

Believe that you can

· Remember that God changed Moses, Gideon, and Jeremiah

Clarify what you want to do

· Learn the word “no”

· Prioritize – (1) God, (2) family, and (3) vocation. (T. D. Jakes story of his father the longshoreman)

Start now

· There will never be an ideal time to start. “One of these days” is none of these days.

This story is found in a book called A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller, in a chapter called “How Jason Saved His Family”.

So, Donald and Jason are 2 guys getting caught up on what is going on. Jason tells him that things aren’t going so well. Jason found pot in his 13-year-old daughter’s room.

Miller said, “It sounds like your daughter is caught in a really bad story.”

Jason says, “What do you mean?”

Donald tells Jason, “Man, this sounds like a really bad story. Sounds like she’s living out life as a character in a really bad story. She needs a different story.”

Jason goes home and thinks about it. He decided to do an online search and finds an orphanage in Mexico that needed $25K. He calls a family meeting and tells his wife and daughter about the need and his plan to work as a family to meet the need. Wife and daughter are shocked and initially not interested. But, they came back within the week and said they thought it could be done. In fact, the daughter has some ideas to raise the money and suggests they travel to the orphanage to check it out. She’s broke up with the boyfriend the next day.

So, Jason and Donald get together the next week and Donald asks Jason, “So, how is it going with your daughter?”

Jason responded, “Man, things are great, it is like she is a character in a different story.”

It all boiled down to casting a different vision for your family. The sad truth is, “If your family is not living in a great story, they will be captured by a lesser one.” Joshua declared over his family that they would serve the Lord! Declare it over your family, let 2021 be a Breakthrough year for your family.

1. Sara McLanahan and Gary Sandefur, Growing Up with a Single Parent: What Hurts, What Helps (Boston: Harvard University Press, 1994), p. 38.

[i] from Nelson's Illustrated Bible Dictionary, Copyright © 1986, Thomas Nelson Publishers