Friendship

What is Biblical Friendship

A reciprocal relationship characterized by intimacy, faithfulness, trust, unmotivated kindness, and service. The concept can describe one’s relationship with people and with God.

General Idea of Biblical Friendship

In Hebrew, the most common word related to friendship is רֵעַ (rēaʿ, “friend”).

Another common way Hebrew expresses friendship is through the verb הָבַר (hābar, “to associate with”) and related words.

The nt, however, favors the word φίλος (philos) for “friend,”.

Interestingly, both the ot and nt rarely use the word “friendship”; instead, the attitudes, actions, and qualities that characterize this relationship are the preferred way of describing it.

Biblical Overview of Friendship

Friendship in the Bible is expressed through emotional, social, political, and material avenues.

In the ot, covenant faithfulness is the primary way friendship is described.

The paradigm for friendship is the relationship between David and Jonathan

(1 Sam 18, 20). While the story in 1 Samuel 20 conveys various qualities of friendship (deep emotion, intimacy, open communication, willingness to do anything for the other, loyalty, faithfulness, unmotivated kindness, joy), the central component of this narrative is “covenantal loyalty” (as communicated by the Hebrew חֶסֶד [ḥesed] three times in 1 Sam 20:8, 14, 15). Moreover, their friendship is sealed with a covenant (1 Sam 20:8; literally “covenant of Yahweh”). The relationship between God and Moses is another example of a “friendship” that is based on covenant faithfulness (Exod 33:11, 17).

Friendship language in the nt has strong ties to the Graeco-Roman patronage system in the first century ad.

A reciprocal relationship between two individuals who were social equals was called a “friendship” (φιλία, philia). This relationship, like that between a patron and client, was characterized by the exchange of services and resources, mutual fidelity, and intimacy. Often, patrons would refer to their clients as friends (φίλος, philos), even though the former was higher on the social scale. Regardless of one’s social level, reciprocity stands out as the key feature of friendship. One example of this aspect of friendship is found in John 15:13–15. This text indicates three facets of friendship: love (ἀγάπη, agapē) exhibited by sacrifice is an essential quality between friends (philos); Jesus’ friends (philos) are those who obey his commands; and Jesus calls his disciples friends (philos) because what God knows was made known to them.

Friendship is not simply a casual acquaintance but a strong, deep connection between two individuals who are bound together in such a way that affects every aspect of their involvement in society. In both the ot and nt, friendship is based on volition, not obligation.

Purposes of Biblical Friendship

having no friends is bad

Friendship and Christ

describe relationships that imply more than mere acquaintance. In 2 Samuel 16:16–17, it indicates a relationship that implies loyalty: When Absalom usurped David’s kingdom, David’s friend (רֵעֶה, rēʿe) Hushai pretended to support Absalom, and Absalom challenged him by asking, “This is your loyal love (חֶסֶד, ḥesed) with your friend (rēaʿ)?” (2 Sam 16:16–17). In Psalm 35:14, rēaʿ refers to a person who is sufficiently dear that his death would be mourned like that of a relative, and Prov 17:17 says that a friend (rēaʿ) loves (ʾāhab) at all times. The related noun rēʿe is much rarer. On three occasions, it refers to people who are friends and advisors of kings (including David’s friend Hushai, mentioned above), and seems to designate this relationship technically. It seems to have a more general sense in Prov 27:7, which counsels the hearer not to forsake “a friend (rēaʿ) and a friend (rēʿe) of your father.”

accountablility

encouargement

help

companionship

we were not made for total

solitude