The Anointed: When Grace Isn't Gracious

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Because of David’s Sin, Violence Would Plague His House
His Son Amnon Raped His Daughter Tamar
Then His Son Absalom Murdered Amnon
Now Absalom is in Exile in Geshur with His Grandfather, Talmai the King
Throughout All of this, David Did Nothing about the Sins of His Children

2 Samuel 14

2 Samuel 14:1–3 NASB95
Now Joab the son of Zeruiah perceived that the king’s heart was inclined toward Absalom. So Joab sent to Tekoa and brought a wise woman from there and said to her, “Please pretend to be a mourner, and put on mourning garments now, and do not anoint yourself with oil, but be like a woman who has been mourning for the dead many days; then go to the king and speak to him in this manner.” So Joab put the words in her mouth.
Joab, David’s Commander and Nephew, Sees that David is Thinking about Absalom
So He Gets a Woman from a Small Town Called Tekoa to Pretend that She is in Mourning Over Someone Dying
And He Tells Her Exactly What to Say to King David
She Falls Before the King and Begs for His Help
She Says that She is a Widow Whose Son has just been Murdered by Her Other Son
Hmmm! That Story Sounds Familiar
She Tells Him that All of Her Family Wants to Put Her Other Son to Death for Murdering His Brother
But this would Leave Her Without a Son and Her Husband Without Anyone to Carry on His Name
David Tells Her to God Back Home and He would Give Order Concerning Her Case
But this wasn’t Good Enough for Her
2 Samuel 14:9 NASB95
The woman of Tekoa said to the king, “O my lord, the king, the iniquity is on me and my father’s house, but the king and his throne are guiltless.”
This was to Say, “I and My Son are in Danger, and We Don’t have Time to Wait for You to Make a Judgment.”
David Tells Her that if Anyone Tries to Bother Her, He will Make Sure They Never Do Again
This Still Wasn’t Quite What She was Looking for
2 Samuel 14:11 NASB95
Then she said, “Please let the king remember the Lord your God, so that the avenger of blood will not continue to destroy, otherwise they will destroy my son.” And he said, “As the Lord lives, not one hair of your son shall fall to the ground.”
She Didn’t Want just His Word; She Wanted an Oath
So He Makes an Oath to Her that the Avenger of Blood Must Stop Trying to Put Her Son to Death for His Sin
Now She has Him Right Where She Wants Him
She Asks the King if She May Speak to Him about Something Else
2 Samuel 14:13 NASB95
The woman said, “Why then have you planned such a thing against the people of God? For in speaking this word the king is as one who is guilty, in that the king does not bring back his banished one.
She Tells David that He is Guilty According to His Own Judgment that He has just Rendered
Her Son can Murder His Brother and Get Away with it, but His Son Can’t?
She Claims that David is Hurting the People of God because He has Not Allowed His Son to Return Home
Absalom was likely the Heir to the Throne
If David were to Die, There would be Chaos in Israel because the Heir was Banished
The Woman Goes On...
2 Samuel 14:14 NASB95
“For we will surely die and are like water spilled on the ground which cannot be gathered up again. Yet God does not take away life, but plans ways so that the banished one will not be cast out from him.
Her Words Here are Difficult to Interpret, but I’ll Teach What I Believe She is Saying Here
“We are All Going to Die Someday, and like Water Spilled on the Ground, There is No Way to Come Back.”
“What Absalom has Done is Done, and There’s No Way to Fix that.”
“Banishing/Killing Absalom is Not What God would Do, because He Doesn’t Take Away Life and He Plans Ways to Not Banish His People.”
She then Moves from Accusing David of being Guilty to Flattering Him
She Says that His Discernment of Good and Evil are like the Angel of God’s
“I Know You’ll Do the Right Thing!”
David then Asks Her if Joab had Put Her Up to this and She Admitted that He had
David then Told Joab to Go Bring Absalom Home to Jerusalem
But David Made Him Stay in His Own House and Wouldn’t Let Absalom See Him
He Allowed Him to Return Home but had Not Fully Forgiven Him
We are then Told that Absalom was Extremely Well-Liked and the Most Handsome Man in Israel
Whenever He would have His Hair Cut at the End of Every Year, it would Weigh Around 5 Pounds
He had 3 Sons and 1 Daughter
He Lived in Jerusalem for 2 Years Without Ever Seeing His Father David
This Makes 5 Years Since He Killed Amnon and Since He had Seen His Father
One Day Absalom Wanted Joab to Speak to His Father for Him, but Joab Wouldn’t Come Speak to Absalom
Absalom Tried a Second Time to Get Joab to Come to Him, but He Wouldn’t
So Absalom Did the Rational Thing that Anyone would Do
He Sent Servants to Set Joab’s Field on Fire
Joab Comes to Ask Him Why He did that
2 Samuel 14:32 NASB95
Absalom answered Joab, “Behold, I sent for you, saying, ‘Come here, that I may send you to the king, to say, “Why have I come from Geshur? It would be better for me still to be there.” ’ Now therefore, let me see the king’s face, and if there is iniquity in me, let him put me to death.”
Absalom Says, “Why did I Even Come Back to Jerusalem if My Father Won’t have Anything to Do with Me?”
“If I’ve Done Anything Wrong, He Should Put Me to Death!”
Either Absalom Truly Believed He was Innocent, or He Knew David Wouldn’t Do Anything About it Anyway
Both are Probably True
2 Samuel 14:33 NASB95
So when Joab came to the king and told him, he called for Absalom. Thus he came to the king and prostrated himself on his face to the ground before the king, and the king kissed Absalom.
David Brought Absalom in and Kissed Him, Showing that He had Forgiven Him

Applications

Here’s an Overview of What We have just Looked at in this Chapter
David is Thinking about Absalom All the Time (Whether in a Good or Bad Way, We Don’t Know)
Joab Gets a Woman to Deceive David into Thinking that He is Judging a Case Within His Kingdom
This is Exactly What Nathan Did with His Parable of the Rich Man and Poor Man
But Nathan’s was Meant for Good
Joab’s was Not
The Woman Tricks David into Saying that a Murderous Son should be Shown Mercy and Not Face the Death Penalty that He was Due
She then Flips the Tables on David and Points Out that He is Not Following the Judgment He had just Rendered
She Infers that this was an Ungodly Thing to Do
Because God Doesn’t Take Life and God Doesn’t Allow the Banished to Stay Banished
So He Allows Absalom to Come Back Home Without Suffering Punishment
Absalom Obviously hadn’t Repented
David Shows Mercy and Eventually Forgives Him

When Grace Isn’t Gracious

David Fell for the Half-Truths the Woman and Joab were Telling Him
Seeking to Do the Godly Thing, He Decides to Show Mercy and Forgive the Transgressor
But that isn’t the Godly Thing to Do at All
The Grace He Showed to His Son was Not Gracious at All
Imagine if God was Who this Woman from Tekoa Said He was
He would be a God Who would Never Punish the Wicked
There would Never be Any Consequences for Sin
God would Forgive Everyone Regardless of Repentance
His People would be Rewarded for Disobeying Him
That is Not Our God
She Said that God Doesn’t Take Life and that He Restores the Banished
That is Simply Not True
God has Taken the Lives of and Banished Numerous People Who have Refused to Obey Him
God Does Not Overlook Sins
She Seems to be Taking the More “Christian” Approach
Forgiving Absalom for His Sin from 3 Years Ago Seems to be the Gracious Thing to Do
To Reconcile and Move Past this Seems to be the Righteous Thing to Do
All These Things would be Wonderful, but One Thing is Lacking - Repentance
Absalom has Never Repented of His Sin
Grace is Not Gracious When There is No Repentance
By Showing Grace Without Repentance, David is Approving of Absalom’s Murder of His Brother
He is Treating Sin as if it is Something that is Acceptable for God’s People
He is Helping His Son Remain in His Rebellion Against God
He is Establishing a System of Injustice in the Kingdom of God
We are Faced with the Same Difficulty that David Found Himself in
But We Can’t Allow Ourselves to Make the Same Mistake
Jesus, the King Over God’s Kingdom of People Today, Tells Us How We are to Deal with Unrepentant Sinners in His Kingdom
Matthew 18:15–17 NASB95
“If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. “But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. “If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
Jesus Didn’t Say When Your Brethren Sin Against You:
Show Them Grace
Forgive and Forget
Let it Go
He Said, Take Steps to Lead Them to Repentance so that Grace can Flood Over Them
James 5:19–20 NASB95
My brethren, if any among you strays from the truth and one turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.
Grace is Gracious When There is Repentance
But Without Repentance, Grace Isn’t Gracious at All
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