The Marriage Jungle 4 (Money and the Marriage Safari)
THE MARRIAGE JUNGLE
“MONEY and the Marriage Safari”
Pastor Greg Henneman
May 18, 2003
Text: Proverbs 3:5-6
Key Idea: God can straighten out our finances –if we trust him.
Goal: To challenge people to trust (obey) God with their finances.
INTRODUCTION
What would you do if you suddenly received a million dollars?
How many of you have daydreamed “If I had a million dollars, oh, the things I would do!”
If you had a million dollars would you…
· Quit your job?
· Pay off all your debts?
How many would say, “No thank you? I don’t need a million dollars!” No one would take a pass on a million dollars! Even if you have a million dollars you’d gladly take another!
What is it about money that keeps us awake at night and wakes us up early in the morning and creates the biggest fights between you and your spouse?
Did you know that money is cited as the top reason for divorce in the US?
I want to talk to you today about “Money and the Marriage Safari.” We’ve been talking about “The Marriage Jungle” for several weeks now. Although God created us to live in a Garden (the Garden of Eden) –although God’s intention was for us to enjoy a marriage garden of delight, the fact is, marriage can be a jungle! And money is one of the roaming lions in the Marriage Jungle that has torn apart lots of marriages!
As we begin today I put some questions on your outline…
· How much do you worry about money?
· How full are your credit cards?
· How often do you fight about money matters?
· If you keep going as you are, what will be your financial situation in 10 years?
Hopefully you can say, “Greg, I hardly ever worry about money! I only use my credit cards for convenience and then I pay off the monthly balance each month, so I never pay interest on a credit card. And my spouse and I seldom fight about money matters, and I hope that God continues to bless us because if we keep going as we are, we’ll be just fine 10 and even 20 years from now.”
But, maybe you’re saying, “Oh Greg! I worry about money all the time! My credit cards are maxed out and I’m wondering what bills to pay next month! And my spouse and I fight all the time about money. And I don’t want to even think about 10 years from now!”
Listen: Whatever situation you’re in today, I’ve got Good News for you. If you apply today what we’re going to learn from God’s Word, you can change your situation. There is hope. There is help. Christ can make a difference. If you let him. So let’s talk about it.
On your outline you’ll see that there are…
A. Two types of people:
1. The spender
We have a picture of the spender in…
Proverbs 7:20 “He has taken a wallet full of money with him, and he won’t return until later in the month.”
Here’s a guy out for a good time! Some of you have this tendency! It’s payday! You’ve got a wallet full of money, and you’re going to the mall, and you won’t be back until later in the month –when it’s all gone!
The spender is not necessarily bad. If you’re a spender you tend to say…
Let’s go out to eat instead of eating at home.
Let’s stay at Holiday Inn instead of grandma’s this time.
It’s ok to go over the budget this week. We’ve gotta have a little fun!
You just have this tendency to spend! Some of us are spenders. But some of us are…
2. The saver
And again, a saver is not better than a spender and spender is not better than a saver. Both of them have their strengths and weaknesses. God wants us to spend and enjoy and he also wants us to save and plan ahead. The issue is balance and wisdom!
The problem with being a saver is that you can become stingy and selfish.
Proverbs 23:6-7 "Do not eat the food of a stingy man, do not crave his delicacies; for he is the kind of man who is always thinking about the cost. “Eat and drink,” he says to you, but his heart is not with you."
You know anybody like that? They’re always thinking about the cost? They’re so stingy they can hardly enjoy a meal with you (if they’re paying for it) because they’re thinking about the money they could have saved if they hadn’t of had you over for dinner!
So whether you’re a spender or a saver, there are tendencies to look out for. And you know what happens, don’t you? Frequently a saver and a spender say “I do” to each other at the altar! And you talk about a marriage jungle!
I want to give you three…
B. Steps to Financial Freedom
Whatever your financial position today, as followers of Christ we need to apply these three principles in our lives.
1. Realize that all your money is God’s money.
Psalm 24:1 “The earth is the LORD’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it.”
God owns everything! My very life’s breath is a gift from God! God has the right anytime he wants to, to take away my life’s breath and take me home! My body, my mind, my family, my car, my house, my clothes –everything I have is owned by God! I am simply a MANAGER of what God has loaned me!
That means that I CANNOT say, “It’s my life! I can do with it what I want! It’s my money! I can spend it however I want!” No! It’s not my life! It’s not my money! It all belongs to God and I am responsible to manage it in the way God wants me to!
Illust: A dad took his son to Mac Donald’s. (I’ve told you this story before, but a lot of you are new and haven’t it this story. Besides I love this story because it perfectly illustrates our relationship to God). A dad took his son to Mac Donald’s. They bought some hamburgers and fries and they're sitting there enjoying the meal. The dad decided he wanted a couple of his son's French fries. And he reached over there to get a couple of fries and much to his surprise his son pulled the fries back and said, "No! These are mine!"
The dad was shocked, but he didn't let on. He just sat there. And he thought, "You know, my son doesn't seem to realize that I am the source of those French fries." Just five minutes ago I went up to the counter and reached into my pocket and pulled out some money and put it on that counter. I paid for those fries! I own those fries!"
Then he thought, "Not only am I the source of those fries, but I have the power, being the dad, to take those French fries from him. Or, if I wanted to, I could go back up to the counter and buy him 10 more boxes of fries! My son doesn't seem to understand this!”
Then he thought, "I don't need his fries. I could buy my own. What I really want is not a couple of French fries. What I really want is my son's willingness to share with me."
That’s how God is with us! God has given you and me everything that we have. Any French fry that we might have, he gave us! He's the source of all our blessings. He owns it all! And God has the ability to take it away from us and he has the ability to give us more. And what he really wants from us is a thankful heart that’s willing to trust him with our French Fries!
I’ve learned that this is an attitude we need to work on again and again. Because we forget. Because we are naturally selfish and even as Christians after a while we think that my stuff is MY stuff! And we forget that it’s NOT my stuff! It’s God’s stuff! And I am accountable to use it and manage it in ways that are pleasing to God.
So if you’re a Christ-follower, nail this down: Everything you have and everything your are is owned by God! You are simply a manager of what he has loaned you for this short life. And you will be held accountable for what you do with what he has loaned you.
2. Believe that God wants to bless you.
Sometimes people view God as a stingy God. They don’t think that God really likes them and cares for them. Sometimes they see God as up there sitting on his throne and he says, “Oh, there’s someone down there enjoying themselves too much! I’ve got to go down there and take away some blessings!”
Listen! God is NOT a stingy God! God is not out to take away your happiness in life! God does want to deal with your greed and selfishness and pride. But that’s so he can give you true happiness and real satisfaction in life!
Matthew 6:33 "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
Notice, it’s a matter of focus and priority. “Seek first…” God cares that you have food and clothing and a home and money. God knows that we need those things and he will see to it that we have those things, if we seek him first.
Philippians 4:19 "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."
“All your needs.” Not just your spiritual needs. “All your needs.”
So, develop this faith commitments in your life. All my money is God’s money! He’s the owner. I’m the manager. Secondly, believe that God loves you and cares about ALL your needs, your financial needs as well as your spiritual needs. Believe that God will bless you –if you follow his principles. And that’s the third step to financial freedom…
3. Follow God’s principles.
You see God wants to bless us! God wants to give us financial freedom so that we can save and spend and give and have enough money to enjoy life! But God cannot bless us if we do not follow his principles!
a. Be productive.
Proverbs 10:4 "Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth.”
You’re not going to make a lot of money if you’re lazy! You’ve got to work! Christians should have a good work ethic! Our bosses should love us because we’re trustworthy and we’re diligent and we’re productive!
I know most of our young people are at the convention this weekend, but those of you that are here, this is why it’s so important to study hard and get good grades and qualify yourself to get a good job. They way you make a lot of money is to produce something that people want. If you’re lazy, if you goof off –don’t expect God to bless you!
b. Be patient.
What destroys a lot of families is that they think they have to have everything now! They buy the big new house now. They fill it full of expensive furniture now. They buy two or three big new SUV’s now. They buy the boat and new golf clubs and the cottage up north now.
Now they don’t have enough money for all that so what do they do? They charge it! They take out loans! They put it on credit cards! Rather than being patient and saving up some money to pay for those things, they get it all now! And they don’t have a clue how difficult it will be to dig themselves out of that debt.
Luke 12:13-15 " Someone in the crowd said to him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.” Jesus replied, “Man, who appointed me a judge or an arbiter between you?” "Then he said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”
“Be on guard against all kinds of greed.” You know what the bottom line is? If your finances are a mess and you’ve got credit cards racked to the ceiling, you know what the truth is? You’ve got a greed problem. Now there may be exceptions where you’ve lost your job or an investment went bad, but the great majority of time, the reason for our debt, the reason for our living paycheck to paycheck is plain old greed.
We’re not willing to live within our means. If we make $30,000 a year we’re acting like we’re making $50,000. If we make $75,000 a year we’re acting like we’re making $100,000. We’ve all heard of Hollywood millionaires who’ve gone bankrupt because they thought they were billionaires! It’s greed. I want it now; and I won’t wait to save up for it.
Some of you need to cut up your credit cards. Some of you need to repent of your greed and say, “God, forgive me for trying to find happiness in the abundance of my possessions. Help me to start living my your principles rather than by my greed.”
Be productive. Be patient. And thirdly…
c. Be purposeful.
Luke 12:16-21 "And he told them this parable: “The ground of a certain rich man produced a good crop. He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.’ “Then he said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.”’ “But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’ “This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God.”
What’s the purpose of your life? Is your goal just to make a lot of money so that you can buy a lot stuff and have a lot of fun? Nothing wrong with money. The Bible does NOT say that money is the root of all evil. It says, “The love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.” Nothing wrong with money. We all need money! It’s all in how we handle it.
Money is either a tool or an idol. Jesus said that how we handle our money reveals what’s in our heart. If you really want to know if a person is a faithful Christ-follower, simply look at how they handle their money.
You see, God’s plan is the 10-10-80 plan.
· Save 10% (Proverbs 6:8; 13:11)
· Give 10% (Mal. 3:10; Lk 6:38; 1 Tim 6:18)
· Spend 80% (1 Timothy 6:17)
The Bible says we’re supposed to save some money and plan ahead. It doesn’t give us a percentage to save up, but I believe that at least 10% is a good plan.
Do you have a retirement plan? Do you regularly set aside some money for car repairs or home repairs that you know will come eventually? Or are you living paycheck to paycheck? Listen: God wants you to save and plan ahead!
God also wants us to give 10% of our income to his church. The OT specifically teaches 10%. The NT talks about “sacrificial giving”. Surely “sacrificial giving” is at least 10%?
Why does God want us to give 10%?
· He wants us to fight your tendency to greed and to spend everything on ourselves.
· He wants us to learn to trust him. Many of us here tithe and I know we all have stories of how God makes our 90% go further than our 100% used to go. God blesses us when we trust him!
· We believe in and are committed to the mission of our Lord Jesus Christ. Jesus said, “Go make disciples!” Jesus said, “I will build my church.” And that involves money!
I am so appreciative of the many people who have gone before us. Thirty some years ago this church moved here from Pontiac. They bought this piece of property and built this church here. That took courage! That took vision! That took money! Those people (and some of you are still with us today!) – you gave and you sacrificed because you wanted more people to hear the good news of Jesus Christ!
We literally would not be here today, enjoying the blessings of this church, if it were not for people before us who served and who gave money to make it happen! That’s reality, folks!
The same thing is true with our new building. Money of us have united together in faith to go to the next level in our impact for the Lord. Many of here give 10% of our income to the Lord every Sunday. And beyond that we have committed almost $800,000 towards the new sanctuary. And thirty years from now most of us might not even be here, but there will be a thriving community of faith, where hopefully thousands of people have come to know the Lord, because you and I cared enough to give what God asks us to give!
Illust: A Pastor preached on tithing. Afterwards a man came up and said, "Pastor, I can't afford to tithe because I make $500,000 a year! I can't give 10% to God! I make too much money to give 10%! The Pastor said, "Ok, let's pray about it together." They bowed their heads and the Pastor prayed, "Lord, reduce this man's income till he can afford to tithe."
We all can rationalize why we can't give God his due. We make too little. We make too much. We’re in college. We’ve got kids in college. We just bought a house. We just bought a car. All kinds of reasons why we can’t afford to tithe! But you know what? It’s amazing how far the 90% goes when we honor God with his requested 10%! Amen!
You see, it’s not about us. It’s about Him! It’s about “do we trust him enough to do what he says?” Do we love him enough to obey him?
And may I say, “If you’re not a believer, or if you’re a seeker and you’re just checking things out around here, please don’t sweat this money thing. We’re not after your money. We’re after your heart. What we care about is your relationship with God.” But may I also say, “If you are a Christ-follower, if you have been around here a year or two –you’re not a newcomer anymore! It’s time you joined the team and caught the vision and started swinging the bat! God has given us mission to fulfill and it’s awesome and it’s exciting and it will take commitment from all of us to make it happen!”
BTW, Sunday, June 1, we’re taking a special UNITE IN FAITH offering towards the new sanctuary. I encourage us to give generously so that we make a large down payment here in a few months.
Ok, we’re done. Do you see…
C. Personal Application
1. What attitudes to do I need to change?
2. What steps do I need to take?
Key Idea: God can straighten out your finances –if we trust him; if you follow his principles.
· Some of you need to sit down this afternoon and reprioritize. You need to come with a plan to get out of that credit card debt. That’s a killer that God does NOT want you to have.
· Some of you are just plain greedy. You’ve overspent big time and you might even need to downsize or sell some things to bring things back into line.
· Some of you are living paycheck to paycheck, and you’ve got to deal with that and start saving some money and planning for the future.
· And there may be one or two of you who do not tithe. And you know in your heart that God is telling you to trust him and love him and catch the vision that God has for this church. And it’s a crisis point in your walk with God right now, and you’ve got to decide, will you trust and obey, or will you keep walking the same old way? LET’S PRAY.
You are the owner. We are the manager…
Goal: To challenge people to trust (obey) God with their finances.
Determine to live a God-honoring lifestyle.
“If I always do what I’ve always done, I’ll always get what I’ve always gotten.”
“Being in debt is not the real problem; it is only a symptom of the real problem.”
Make it a goal to get out of debt and establish a cash flow margin that will free you to save, spend, serve, and give the way God wants you to.
THE MARRIAGE JUNGLE
“MONEY and the Marriage Safari”
Pastor Greg Henneman
May 18, 2003
Text: Proverbs 3:5-6
· How much do you worry about money?
· How full are your credit cards?
· How often do you fight about money matters?
· If you keep going as you are, what will be your financial situation in 10 years?
A. Two types of people:
1. The spender
Proverbs 7:20 “He has taken a wallet full of money with him, and he won’t return until later in the month.”
2. The saver
Proverbs 23:6-7 "Do not eat the food of a stingy man, do not crave his delicacies; for he is the kind of man who is always thinking about the cost. “Eat and drink,” he says to you, but his heart is not with you."
B. Steps to Financial Freedom
1. Realize that all your money is _____________ money.
Psalm 24:1 “The earth is the LORD’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it.”
2. Believe that God wants to ________________ you.
Matthew 6:33 "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
Philippians 4:19 "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."
3. Follow God’s _________________.
a. Be _________________.
Proverbs 10:4 "Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth."
b. Be ___________________.
Luke 12:15 "Then he said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”"
c. Be _________________.
Luke 12:19 "And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.”
| !! God’s Plan: 10-10-80
· Save 10% (Proverbs 6:8; 13:11)· Give 10% (Mal. 3:10; Lk 6:38; 1 Tim 6:18)* Spend 80% (1 Timothy 6:17)
|
C. Personal Application
1. What attitudes to do I need to change?
2. What steps do I need to take?
EXTRA MATERIAL:
Money won’t do:
Money will not provide life’s meaning.
It will not bring purpose.
It will not bring fulfillment to life.
With money we acquire, aspire, and we perspire. We work hard, we dream big, and we spend more than we have. It’s called the American dream. Big house, 3 car garage, big yard. Have what we want when we want it.
Video Clip: Demi Moore and Woody Harolson. Woody and architect and Demi realtor. Pursuing the American Dream and it crumbles before them.
When we put everything we have and are into something that can pass, we set ourselves up for a fall. It’s ok to have a house…
Jesus warned us…
Luke 12 “greed…”
1) Money will not heal wounded hearts
Design new toy boxes looking for something to dull the pain and fill the hole inside us.
Savers can hoard and spenders can spend, trying to get happy!
2) Money will not bridge relational distance.
Father opened his wallet over and over again trying to buy his daughter’s affection because he didn’t know how to open his heart. Her husband will fail unless he too has a million dollars.
Money cannot fix strained relationships.
Interview: Gerald and Teresa Heft. 3 kids. Both leading separate lives climbing corporate ladder, spending money like crazy. 25,000 in debt. Marriage in trouble. Felt pressure to live the American dream. Teresa asked for divorce; went to counseling, turned things around. What changed? God first. Gerald and Teresa second. Kids third.
Three things money can do:
1) Help you accomplish your mission and goals.
Some of you don’t even know what you want. Haven’t looked beyond getting braces and fixing teeth.
When’s the last time you sat down together and talked about what your mission is; and how are we going to use our money to get there.
2) Money used as a tool will help you express your generous heart.
Proverbs 11:25
3) Money can be a tool to help honor the One who gave it to you.
Deuteronomy 8 “I’m rich because of my own power…
God gave you the ability to earn money! Use money as a tool to accomplish God’s goals for your life. Money should not be the goal!
Three categories of rules for money:
1. Wait – a 24 hour rule. Don’t buy until thought and prayed about it. Anything over $25, etc. It will cut down impulse buying and knee-jerk reactions. When that salesman says, “It’s only good right now. You’ve got to decide right now. Walk away!”
Wait – and make a joint decision. Never make a major money decision without full agreement from your spouse. If you always agree on what to buy and when to buy you will eliminate the risk of bitterness building up over time because you’re on a different page.
2. Wait – and don’t buy it. Avoid debt. Careful use of credit cards.
3. Don’t wait to start saving for retirement. Do it now, even if it’s $5 a week. If you wait til you have it, you’ll never have it.
4. Don’t wait to give generously. It’s not about how much you have. “I’m going to wait until I get my new job and I’m making good money, then I’ll start giving to God.” A year later, they’re still not giving. Start immediately.
Promote Seminar: 4 hours on a Saturday morning. Seminar on Money Management.
Promote Women’s Class on Money
Luke 16 “no servant can serve two masters…cannot serve God and money…”
Romans 13 “pay all debts”
When we don’t we become slave to the lender…
If your cards are maxed out, then cut them up and don’t use them anymore.
Video Clip: Woody, “even a brick wants to be something…”
God designed you to be more than a brick.
What would you do with a million dollars? What will you do with the $20 in your wallet?
Prayer.