Is your anger the boss of you?

Are we controlling our anger, or is it in control of us?

Introduction

A little about me

Thank friends and family for being here today.

What makes us angry?

Anger story here. Give details, but don’t spend too much time here.

My anger towards one person spread out to everyone around me.

My anger came between God and I while at camp.

What is our response when provoked to anger?

Maybe this isn’t you, but stuff does make us angry.

Traffic, grocery store lines, work, disrespect, money, politics,...

How we respond in these situations says a lot about whether our anger is controlling us or not. Our level of control over our response tells us whether our anger is righteous or not.

Dig in on how I act when angry. Cold, ignore, disrespect, etc.

Passive aggressive comments on social media

Talk about how naturally and quickly we fall into this.

Matthew 5:21 NASB95

“You have heard that the ancients were told, ‘You shall not commit murder’ and ‘Whoever commits murder shall be liable to the court.’

Don’t need to spend much time here. Murder is not ok and I think we all understand that.

Matthew 5:22

Matthew 5:22 NASB95

“But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell.

Jesus isn’t teaching them something new, HE is explaining an old rule further.

Not only is murder wrong, but the emotion that goes along with it is wrong too.

1 john 3:15

1 John 3:15 NASB95

Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer; and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.

Jesus is very serious here. HE takes it a step further than just the action.

Give examples of things we deal with daily and our normal response.

When someone cuts you off and you have an entire conversation telling them off in your own car. Cool turn signal bro. Don’t realize it until our kids repeat it.

Gossiping - Sometimes we can think because the information is common knowledge that our speaking behind someone’s back isn’t gossip. When in reality if you wouldn’t be caught saying that in front of someone and yet you say it behind their back…this is gossip. We often will make the statement...”well I would say that to their face” NO YOU WOULD NOT! AND YOU DANG WELL KNOW THIS!

Social media posts - Explain how this comes out. (Not liking someone’s post, posting an article by someone that disagrees with another person,

Ignoring someone - (find a screenshot of someone

put a screenshot image here...

So these are the root responses that seem harmless enough. Right…like we know the ‘cool turn signal bro’ is a bit of anger coming out of us…but its fairly harmless though right? As mad as I might be about the guy failing to give a turn signal I would never think about murdering him. And yet, Jesus tells us this is exactly what leads to murder.

I’ll show you a story of how even the benign acts like ‘cool turn signal bro’ actually are linked to a much more serious issue residing in our own hearts.

Genesis 4:6-7

Genesis 4:6–7 NASB95

Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? “If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it.”

Very briefly explain what happened with Cain and Abel. 2 minute overview.

Another translation says Cain had his facedown cast. That was the only sign of what was going on in his heart. But God knew then, that the emotions he was feeling then would lead him to murder.

We have to understand that those things are linked. Don’t get mad at me about it, God said it, not me. haha

Consequences

So what are we to do about it?

Matthew 5:23-26

Matthew 5:23–26 NASB95

“Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering. “Make friends quickly with your opponent at law while you are with him on the way, so that your opponent may not hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the officer, and you be thrown into prison. “Truly I say to you, you will not come out of there until you have paid up the last cent.

Anger costs

Emotionally

Hinders relationships with people around us and with God.

Physically

Blood pressure

Insomnia

anxiety

Much more

I think Jesus offers us a solution here.

Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar

Jesus offers us the solution here. We’ve got to make sure our relationship with God is in the right place. Are we approaching Him in poorness of spirit like the first beatitude says to, or are we coming before Him seeking to resolve our issues through our own power and through our anger?

and there remember that your brother has something against you,

This is when we need to check our hearts. If we know we’ve done something that has caused anger in someone, or vice versa, and we are carrying something against someone else. We need to recognize that.

leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.

It is so important that we don’t go before God with anger in our hearts that he tells us to go and take care of that first. He commands us to reconcile with our brother before we come before Him.

Reconcile can look several different ways. Reconcile doesn’t mean assigning blame or figuring out who was right.

Reconcile means to restore friendly relations between. You might have to overlook something. You might have to let go of something.

First, and foremost, I believe this passage is reminding us that:

The first move towards restoration is ALWAYS our responsibility as followers of Jesus.

Blessed are the peace makers for they will be called children of God.

The beatitudes show us that we are be peacemakers. We are to show mercy.

Restoration of the relationship is what is important, not who was right.

We cannot have an effective relationship with God if we are harboring unresolved anger in our hearts. It’s just not possible.

This move towards restoration is first modeled in the Gospel and is meant to be modeled by us as ‘sons of God.’

Romans 5:8 NASB95

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

This is the Gospel in a nutshell. While we were in rebellion against God, He made the FIRST move towards us for reconciliation. Finish giving the gospel.

So the question I want to leave you with this week is this:

Are you controlling your anger, or is it controlling you?

This is a diagnostic question. Like a check-engine light in our vehicle. Our ability to control our response in situations where we are provoked to anger acts like that light that tells us what our relationship with God is looking like. It begs the follow-up question of: Are we living in light of the Gospel?

Are we letting our anger get away from us? Do we let those things happen in the moment when we really shouldn’t? Does our anger control us? Ultimately we want God to be in control of our life, and that cannot happen if we have unresolved anger.

We all deal with anger at some point. Need to make sure it is not controlling us.