Stress

Memory Verse: Isaiah 26:3 – “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trust in you.”

Step 1: Understand the Problem – Observation and Identification of the Problem (PROBLEM)

Overview

1. Stress is a normal part of life and can be positive or negative.

2. Stress results from perceptions about life situations, such as worries about failures and perfectionistic tendencies.

3. Some personalities more easily cause stress in themselves and others. Some people may have an extremely driven or perfectionistic personality. Some live or work with an individual who is driven, feeling the stress of the other person’s drivenness

4. Stress can negatively affect a person’s relationships.

5. Stress can affect the body, the mind, and the spirit.

6. Sex, finances, children, and in-laws are often causes of stress in couple’s relationships.

7. If we do not learn to control stress, it will eventually control us.

8. Some physical symptoms that seem to connect to issues of stress include: anxiety in particular situations, anxiety and personal relationships, worry, depression, anger, instability, resentment, irritability, phobias, fears, muscular tension, high blood pressure, headaches, neck pain, backaches, indigestion, muscle spasms, insomnia, sleep difficulties, and work stress

Assessment Interview Questions[1]

1. What would you say are the stressors in your life right now?

2. Is someone in your life causing you stress, for example, a stressful spouse or boss?

3. Are you causing your stress by being a perfectionist or trying to control situations over which you have no control?

4. What percentage of your stress is being caused by each of these stressors?

5. How long has each of those stressors been present?

6. Are there people in your life that you talk to about your stress?

7. Are those people helpful to you?

8. Are you using some other type of thing to handle the stress? Some examples may be sports, drugs, over-the-counter prescriptions, alcohol, excessive TV or computer use.

9. Where do you experience the least amount of stress in your life?

10. Is there any place where you do not experience stress?

11. Is there a way that you can perceive that you can reduce the stress level in your life?

12. What has helped you in the past?

13. When was the last time you saw your doctor for a full medical exam?

14. Do you exercise?

15. Do you take frequent breaks throughout the day?

16. Do you pray and meditate on Bible verses?

17. Do you share your burdens with a trusted friend?

18. Do you take a vacation or even short breaks for a day or two?

Evaluate your results: The even-numbered items tend to be more constructive tactics, and the odd-numbered items tend to be less constructive tactics for coping with stress. Congratulate yourself on the even-numbered items you checked. Think about whether you need to make some changes in your thinking or behavior if you checked any of the odd-numbered items. Consider experimenting with some even-numbered items you haven’t tried before.

Step 2: Biblical Hope – Biblical Instruction and Encouragement (PROMISE)

Isaiah 26:3–4 ESV

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.

We can have peace from God despite the conflicts in turmoil. Direct thoughts toward God and our worry will be replaced with peace.

Matthew 6:23–34 ESV

but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness! “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money. “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Seek to have God be first place in our lives. Learn to live one day at a time. Deal with problems one-step at a time. Do not allow worry because it does not help.

Matthew 11:25–30 ESV

At that time Jesus declared, “I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will. All things have been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

We have an open invitation from Christ. If we turn to Christ, He will provide rest from our burdens.

John 14:1 ESV

“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me.

Jesus said to His disciples to let not their hearts be troubled; you believe in God, you also believe in Me. We can rest our troubled hearts, knowing that Jesus is in control regardless of the circumstances.

Romans 8:18 ESV

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

Develop a proper perspective towards life, an eternal one. Do not get so wrapped up in everyday life or problems that we forget Who put us here and why we are here.

2 Corinthians 4:7–9 ESV

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;

2 Corinthians 4:16–18 ESV

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

How do you react during difficult circumstances? Our reactions reveal our character and our trust in God.

Philippians 4:6–7 ESV

do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Do not be anxious; start praying, to receive God’s peace

James 1:2–16 ESV

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. Let the lowly brother boast in his exaltation, and the rich in his humiliation, because like a flower of the grass he will pass away. For the sun rises with its scorching heat and withers the grass; its flower falls, and its beauty perishes. So also will the rich man fade away in the midst of his pursuits. Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers.

Develop a proper perspective towards problems. God uses stress to develop godly character in us. Stress helps us to grow.

1 Peter 5:7–10 ESV

casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

We must let God have all our cares and worries; He is watching everything that concerns us. God does not often eliminate our difficulties. However, He does help us endure and cope with those difficulties. Let life’s pressures press you closer to God.

Step 3: Biblical Change - Practical Helps for Today (PROCESS)

Path of Change

The counselee must discard old patterns of ungodly behavior.

The counselee must reconstruct their thinking.

The counselee must adopt new patterns of godly behavior.

Process of Change[2]

When a problem arises, sit down and evaluate the problem in the following manner.

1. First, discern the different levels of the problem

§ Evaluate your feelings

§ Evaluate your actions and behaviors

§ Evaluate your attitudes and beliefs

§ Evaluate the frequency, duration and past history of this problem.

2. Second, discover the Biblical way of handling this problem.

§ What does God want you to do about this problem?

§ Write down the specific things you should do to solve the problem God’s way.

3. Third, specifically confess to God what you have been doing wrong and decisively commit yourself to do what is right.

4. Fourth, discipline yourself and put the Biblical course of action into practice.

§ Do what the Bible tells you to do regardless of how you feel.

§ Structure your life for a change.

§ Eliminate those things that encourage unbiblical action or thinking.

§ Add or continue those things that encourage Biblical action and thinking.

§ Exercise immediate restraint at the point of temptation (Proverbs 17:14; James 1:13-15; 4:7).

§ Ask some godly person or persons to help you overcome your problem (Heb. 10:24, 25; Gal. 6:1, 2)

§ Commune with Christ your Savior and Lord by prayer, Bible study, meditation (Isaiah 40:31; John 15:1-6; II Tim. 3:16, 17; Heb. 10:24, 25; James 5:16-18).

§ Practice the new pattern of action consistently and constantly (Luke 9:23; 1 Tim. 4:7; Heb. 5:14).

Plans for Change: Develop a Construction Plan and an Evacuation Plan

1. The purpose of the construction plan is to help you put off a particular ongoing pattern of unrighteous behavior and to put on the appropriate biblical pattern of righteous deeds instead. It includes changes that must be made throughout the day.

2. The purpose of the evacuation (overcoming temptation) plan is to help you respond in a godly manner to situations where you have been tempted and have fallen repeatedly. It is for you to use only at the time the temptation occurs, but it is prepared in advance of the temptation so that you will be better prepared to deal with it when it occurs.

Step 4: Biblical Practice - Lifetime Principles for Growth

Practical Ways to Cut Stress

1. Strive for a healthy, active, realistic, biblical outlook on life.

2. Avoid minor irritations that cause stress. Reduce the number of major life changes occurring at any one time. Call a halt before you reach a limit.

3. Seek support from family, friends, or professionals.

4. Realize that God is with you.

5. Pray about your situation.

6. Meditate on and memorize Scripture.

7. Learn to say “no” when your schedule is full. Lessen your load, write down all of your cares and responsibilities in order of priority, and eliminate the least important ones.

8. Let go of situations that cannot be changed.

9. Exercise regularly. Exercise to help keep you healthier and burn off excess adrenaline that is caused by stress and anxiety.

10. Learn more effective ways of communicating and resolving conflicts with people.

11. Take time off and get away completely: a vacation, a day off, a walk.

12. Relax and restore yourself. Get proper sleep.

13. Decrease or discontinue caffeine.

14. Reframe the way you think about things. This rethinking will help change not only your thoughts but also your feelings and actions.

15. Learn to forgive. Reconcile broken relationships.

16. Study the topics of anger, shame, fear, and guilt. Find biblical solutions to these difficult life struggles.

[1] Adapted from Biblical Counseling Reference Guide

[2] Adapted from Wayne Mack