Going all the way! Part 3

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Going All The Way #3

(Music) Well, a big welcome to all of our campuses. Week number three of the series

called, “Going All The Way.” Next week is the final week, and we will take your

questions. Next week will be rated PG, as well. You can log on t

he website

www.lifechurchtv.com

, click on “Going All The Way,” and ask any questions. We will

address as many as we can get to.

Today, we are going to answer the question, “Does sexual purity matter?” Befor

e we

start, I like the story of a little girl who was talking to her grandma, and she said,

“Grandma, how old are you?” And her grandmother said, “Sweetie, you know you don’t

ever ask a lady how old that she is.” And the little girl said, “Grandma, I hap

pen to know

that you were born in 1952. Grandma, I’ve got another question. How much do you

weigh?” And the grandma said, “You know, sweetheart, you never ask a lady how

much she weighs.” And the little girl said, “Grandma, I happen to know that you we

igh

142 pounds.” The grandma said, “How do you know when I was born and how much I

weigh?” And the little girl said, “Grandma, I got in your purse and I dug out your wallet.

I looked at your drivers license. Not only do I know when you were born and ho

w much

you weigh, but grandma, I also know that you made an “F” in sex.” (laugh) Maybe it

was my delivery. I don’t know if I maybe could deliver it better. Ha. I would argue that

according to God’s standards on sexual purity, so much of our society to

day would be

scoring an “F.”

I would like to welcome all of our campuses. We are so glad that you are with us,

around the world, on television and on the internet, thank you for being a part. At all of

our campuses, I would ask you, if you would, to p

articipate. I’m curious if you think that

these things really matter. For example, can a person jump from bed to bed to bed to

bed, multiple sex partners, just going at it over and over and over again, and then get

married one day and it doesn’t matter?

How many of you would say, “Yeah, multiple

pre

-

marital sex, it definitely matters.” All of our campuses, how many of you say it

matters? Lift up your hands. You say it matters, it matters. Hands up all over the

place. Wow!

Let’s talk about adulter

y. You stand before God and say, “I promise to be faithful to my

spouse as long as we both shall live,” and then one day you say, “Forget that! I’m

screwing around. I’m having sex outside of marriage.” Some would say, “No, it doesn’t

really matter. Ad

ultery is no big deal.” All of our campuses, how many would say, “No,

it is a big deal. Adultery matters. It matters.” Hands up all over the place.

Pornography. Lust. Masturbation. Sexually and sinfully gratifying yourself outside of

God’s standa

rds doesn’t really matter. How many say, “No, those things really ... they

matter. They matter?” Hands up all over the place. Question. “Do we really, really,

really believe those things matter?” Because our actions as a society, say that we

don’t. (p

ause) You think about them. Do we really believe that pre

-

marital sex,

adultery, pornography, and all those things ... Do we really believe that they matters to 2

live purely, because our actions as a society say that we don’t really believe those

things matt

er. Sexual purity. Does it really matter?

We look today, start with a scripture in Philippians 1:10, Paul said to the people in

Philippi, he said, “I want you to understand,” what? “I want you to understand what

really matters so that you may live,” wh

at kind of lives? “You may live pure and

blameless lives until Christ returns.” Does sexual purity really matter? Well, most

would say by their actions that it just doesn’t matter. By their actions, most in our

society would say, “It just doesn’t matte

r.” Some thoughts of the majority would be, if it

feels good, what? If you know the answer, say it out loud, “If it feels good do it. Baby,

bring it on.” Another common thought would be, “Hey, I’m not hurting anyone. This is,

you know, I can do what I

want. I’m not hurting anyone.” Another common thought

under it just doesn’t matter, it would be, “It’s my body. I can do what I want.” You know,

“Who are you to question what I do with my body, because your opinion just doesn’t

matter. I can do, real

ly, whatever I want. And besides, you know, the girl I’m with, like

we’re in love, and ... Hey, we wouldn’t buy a car without test driving it first ... now,

would you?” Sexual purity, most would say, wouldn’t you agree by their actions? That

it just doesn’t

matter.

Does it matter? Well, the One says that it does matter. If you missed our first week of

teaching, let’s bring everybody up to speed. Our key thought was this: To really be

fulfilled in life, you have to find The One. To really be fulfilled i

n life, you have to find the

One. Who is the One? Jesus is the One. Your spouse is the Two. If you want what

the One wants for you, you should live the way the One asks you to live. It matters to

the One.

Three thoughts today. I will start with th

e most basic, and that is, the One says it

matters. Thought number one, what matters? Purity matters to God. In the Old

Testament, the One, the Lord God, actually asks kind of a rhetorical question because

His people were living very rebellious lives.

Jeremiah 6:15, wouldn’t you agree that God

could ask this question, even in our world today? He said, “Are they ashamed of their

loathsome conduct? No,” He said, “ They have no,” what? Say it out loud, He said,

“They have no shame at all. They do not e

ven know how to,” what? “They don’t even

know how to blush.” Wouldn’t you agree, God could ask that question today? Does this

society have no shame at all? I mean, haven’t they forgotten that purity matters? They

don’t even know how to be embarrassed

anymore. They don’t even know how to blush.

It’s just so rampant into sin. One of the most commonly asked questions that I got for

week number four Q&A on Going All The Way, was the question, “From dating

someone, how far is too far?” Okay, in other wo

rds, “How close can I get to the edge

without falling off?” Just the fact that we’re asking that question indicates that purity

really is not the first thing on our minds.

A great example, really, of how we should be, there was an elderly couple that h

ad a lot

of resources. They had money, and so they were going to hire somebody to help drive

them around town. The woman was interviewing three different potential drivers, and

she said to these guys, “You need to understand that in our driveway, it curv

es around 3

and there is a brick retaining wall that if you are not careful, you will scratch up our car

on the wall.” She asked, “How close do you think you can get to the wall without

scratching the car?” The first guy was really confident. He said, “Ma

’am, I’ve been

doing this for a long time. I bet you I can get you consistently a foot within that wall and

I will never scratch your car.” “A foot,” the second guy said, “That’s nothing. I’ve been

doing this even longer. I can guarantee you, I can get

within six inches of that wall and

never scratch your car.” The third guy, though, who got the job said, “Ma’am, it’s

obvious that your car is very, very important to you. I’ll promise you, I’ll keep your car

so far away from the wall that you will neve

r have to worry about it being scratched.” It’s

a bit of a different way of thinking about it. Instead of how far can I go, maybe the right

question is, “How close can I stay to God?” Because, if purity matters to Him, and I

want what He wants for my li

fe, then purity should matter to me. I’ll explain it this way.

When I was a little kid, I loved squirrels, bushy tail, eat the little nut things ... they’re just

the cutest little things. And there was this little squirrel that lived outside my house, and

everyday I’d look at the squirrel, and I thought the greatest thing ever is if one day I

could just kind of pet the little squirrel. And so, I get closer and closer, and this squirrel

was incredibly tame, and one day, I got incredibly close to the squirr

el. Close enough to

reach out and touch the little squirrel. True story. Little kid, I reached out, and all of a

sudden, I found little squirrel and just went on his head, pet, pet, pet, pet, and then I

went down his little back, stroke, stroke, stroke,

stroke. Pet, pet, pet, pet. Stroke,

stroke, stroke, stroke, stroke. Psssssssssssssssppkkkkkkkkkewwwwwwwwwwww.

That is the noise a squirrel makes when he rips your little hand to shreds. Claws

everywhere. Fangs. Squirrels are ferocious.

Sexual te

mptation. (pause) Pet, pet, pet, pet. Stroke, stroke, stroke, stroke. Pet, pet,

pet, pet. Pssssssssssssssppppppppppkkkkkkkwwwwwwwwwww. What starts out

innocently enough can become very, very dangerous. How far is too far? And what’s

the moral of th

e squirrel story, anyway? The moral of the squirrel story is this: Don’t pet

the squirrel! Don’t. ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. You won’t forget that, now, will you?

Don’t pet the squirrel! Instead of the “How close can I get to the squirrel?” ... “How

close can I stay to God?” Don’t pet the squirrel. If you are going to err on one side or

the other, rather than erring on the wrong side of sin, let’s err on the side of purity. So,

you’ve got a girlfriend. She smells good. She looks good. Can I ... ?

Instead of erring

on the wrong of sin, let’s err on the right side of purity. Err on the side of purity.

Girls, you’ve got some outfit and baby, you look good. You wondered, “Do I look too

good? Is this too immodest? I mean, like when I ... (laughter

) Is this too immodest?” If

you are going to err, err on the side of purity. Guys, you see that girl in that outfit.

“Praise the Lord,” you say. “Ooolaagagaaa.” Should I look at her, or should I look

away? Err on the side of purity. If purity matte

rs to the One, I mean for what the One

wants for us, we should live in the way the One tells us to live. Now, you say, “Okay,

that’s preacher talk. Okay, like over the top. God’s not that serious about this kind of

stuff ...” Ephesians 5:3, “But among y

ou, there must not even be a,” what? Say it out

loud. “There must not even be a hint,” not even a hint, “of sexual immorality.”

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The One says that purity matters. Secondly, the One says that intimacy matters.

Although our society says that it doesn’t

, a couple of things really kind of changed the

whole climate of sexuality, the pill and pornography. The pill brought along the illusion

of sex without consequences. Pornography brought the illusion of sex without intimacy.

God said that intimacy matte

rs. Here’s a verse. Look at your screen. I Corinthians

6:16, “Do you not know,” Paul asks the question, “that he who unites himself with a

prostitute is one with her, for it is said that the two will become,” what? Would you say it

out loud? “That the

two will become one flesh.” The two in the covenant of marriage

are designed to become one flesh. The gift of lovemaking unites two. It is not an act to

be done outside of marriage. It is to be done under the blessings of God. It is holy and

pure and

righteous. It is the spiritual act, the physical act that represents the spiritual

truth that God joins two to become one. I think one of the problems is the way that,

maybe, the church for years and years taught on sexual purity. For one thing, you he

ar

these kind of talks in youth groups only, not the whole church, which is actually kind of

foolish, because this affects all of us. Secondly, the church, really, for years has said,

“Sex is bad. No, no, no. No, no, no. Dirty. No, no, no, no, no, no.

” It’s a lot like these

boxer shorts that my buddies got me at my bachelor party. Amy and I, we were waiting

until we got married. My buddies got me these boxer shorts that all over them, they had

the words no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no ... until

you turn the lights off, and then

they glowed in the dark and they said, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Which I thought

was stinking cool ...

Well, you tell some sweet little Christian girl, “No, no, no, no for twenty

-

five years, “No,

no, no, no, no. Se

x is bad,” and the girl goes through a thirty

-

minute ceremony. She’s

supposed to turn the lights off and a switch goes, “Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.” Well, it just

doesn’t happen that way. Instead of saying, “No, no, no, no, no, no,” what we should be

sayi

ng, is we should be saying, “Wait. Wait. Wait. This isn’t something that is

dangerous or dirty. This is something that is holy and pure. It is one of the most

spiritual and righteous things that you could ever do when you share in the intimacy with

yo

ur spouse. A holy moment blessed and ordained by God when physically, you

represent what, spiritually, God has done, the two become one flesh.” Now, some of

you are going to say, “Oh, you know, that’s stupid. I’ve been with X number of people,

and it ha

dn’t affected me. You know, I been out doing girls. I’ve been doing ... and you

know, it hadn’t affected me.” Let me just say right now, you are completely deceived.

You are deceived, because it has affected your ability to relate with the One, and if yo

u

are not living in intimacy with the One, seeking to please Him with all of your heart and

all of your life, that everything else will not be what it should be. You may think that it is

not affecting you, but I promise you it is. It is hindering your mo

st important relationship,

and that is with the One.

So, let’s talk through pre

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marital sex. Just three practical thoughts. First one is this, if

you are taking notes: Pre

-

marital sex, no matter what you learned in Eighth Grade sex

education, you can’t

have safe sex outside of marriage. Sure, you may be able to keep

somebody from getting pregnant. Sure, you may be able to keep from getting STD, but

you cannot put a condom on your heart. And, if you forget about the emotional and 5

spiritual side, you a

re going to forget about, really, what is the most important side. You

can’t protect your hearts.

The second thing, if you are taking notes, is that you reduce a gift to an act, a holy gift

from God just becomes doing somebody, driving it home, making

bacon, whatever. I

mean, all the terms of this world, how insulting would they be to a holy God who

created. I mean, think about the terms of this world, the “f” word, all the things insulting

to the purity and the righteousness of a God who designed lov

emaking, made it

pleasurable, the way we procreate, and incredibly intimate between a man and woman.

Who does He give to an act?

Third, is if you are a Christ follower and you engage in pre

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marital sex, you are setting a

pattern of compromise. Okay?

Now, you say, “But hey, but you know, here’s the deal,

we are going to get married anyway.” Okay, great. So you’re both Christ followers and

you’re both going to get married. Guess what? You are a compromiser and you are

marrying a compromiser. So sin

ce you’ve already established that you are willing to

compromise, especially on sexual things for pleasing yourself today, if you are willing to

compromise on the front side of marriage, who’s to say you are not willing to

compromise on the back side of ma

rriage? Do you see how this plays out? Intimacy

matters.

Married couples, I read one time that sometimes people fight about sex. Every now and

then one person says, “I’d like a little more physical intimacy.” I’m pausing to see if

anybody’s going to

say, “Amen. Preach it brother.” You know, I just thought you might

say that. I don’t know. You never know, okay? One person wants a little more loving.

And another person wants a little more emotional loving. Another ... and you know, all

of a sudde

n, we’re fighting about this. “Well, it’s been like six days since we’ve been

together.” “Has not been six days. It’s only been four. May have been seven.” “Well,

you haven’t been romantic with me.” “Well, you haven’t done a lot ...”

Peeeeeeewuuuuuuuw

! What happens when there’s tension in a marriage? Well,

generally what happens is you’re not doing what I want. I’ll give a really, really simple

piece of advice. Doesn’t matter what your spouse is doing or not doing, here’s the most

simple and powerf

ul piece of advice I could give you. Without strings attached, joyfully

give your spouse what your spouse desires. Let me say it again. Joyfully, generously,

give your spouse more of what your spouse desires. I’m reading some people’s minds.

This hap

pens to me sometimes. I can’t explain it. Some of you are saying, “Oh, it’s

easy for you to say. You don’t understand how big of a jerk loser I’m married to. I’m not

going to give my jerk loser spouse nothing.” Strange how I can read your minds like

t

hat, huh? If that is your attitude, you just revealed that your heart is a big honkin’ part

of the problem.

I want you to think about that. Sure, you may be married to a jerk loser

spouse, but if that was your first thought, the thought of resistance, w

hat that reveals is

that there is a significant problem in your heart. Now, get your heart right with God, and

just get it right. Just say, “You know what? I’m going to love my spouse

unconditionally. My spouse wants more emotional love, here it comes.

My spouse

wants more spiritual connecting, here it comes. My spouse wants more physical, bring

it on. Okay? Here’s what will happen. You give your spouse more of what your spouse 6

desires, and you mark my words, your spouse is going to give you more o

f what you

desire. It just happens that way. God created us not to take, but to give, to lay our lives

down. Quit pointing a finger at somebody else, and you give generously.

Whatever matters to the One should matter to us. If we want what the One w

ants, we

should live according to the way the One wants us to live. Purity matters. Intimacy

matters. And number three, holiness matters. Look at scripture. I Thessalonians 4:3

and following, “It is God’s will.” What is God’s will? Help me out. All

of our campuses,

“It is God’s will that you should avoid,” what? “You should avoid sexual immorality, that

each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is,” what? Say it out

loud, “In a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate

lust like the heathen, who

don’t know God ... For God did not call us to be impure, but to live,” what kind of a life?

God called us “to live a holy life.” When you live a holy life, when you are living in

especially sexual purity, what does that practica

lly do? Like, why? Why should we?

Well, here’s a couple of things. If you are taking notes, the first thing is, if you live a holy

life, you are honoring your spouse. Write that down. Check this out. Me, as a married

guy, when I choose to look away

and not to lust after a woman or an image, I am

honoring Amy. When I choose to change the channel off of something that is

inappropriate, not engage in trash talk, not listen to bad kind of humor, not allow my

mind to pull up images from my sinful past, w

hen I do these things, I am honoring and

respecting my bride. I am saying, “You are the one that God set aside for me. I’m not

going fulfill myself sexually any side anything outside of these perimeters. I am

respecting, I am treasuring you.” Honoring

my spouse. Now some of you say, “But I’m

not married. Got you there.” Well, check this out, okay? Let’s say six months from

now, God brings you the Two. You can honor that person today before you even meet

them. Then one day, six months from now, one

year from now, two years from now,

you say, “Man, check this out. I’ve been loving you long before we ever met. I’ve been

honoring you, keeping myself pure. I’ve been guarding my mind. I’ve been honoring

you, my spouse, long before we even met.” Isn’

t that rich?

Second thing, practically, how it lives out is this ... And some of you are going to go like

this, “Oh, I’ve blown it too bad. I’m disqualified for the second thought.” No, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no! We start at this point forward

, and we can do this second

thought. And that is, if you’re taking notes, “I’m building my life story. I’m building the

spiritual legacy that I will pass on to generations to come.” For example, before I was a

Christ follower, I was building a legacy of

sin and selfishness. When I became a

follower of Christ, although still imperfect, I did things much, much better and did things

right, especially in regards to my relationship with Amy. But there will come a day, and

let me just promise you, if you get

married and if you have two kids or six kids, one day,

your kids are going to say, “Momma, how’d you meet daddy?” Or, “Daddy, how’d you

meet mommy?” And what you say and how you describe your relationship is going to

be very, very important. My kids sa

y all the time, “Tell us the story again of how you

met.” We’ve told it a hundred times. “Well, your daddy was a new Christian and there

was this girl who was making fun of me, saying, ‘Craig, you’re a fanatic. And then she

said, there’s this girl that

you should meet. Her name is Amy and she’s just like you.

She’s overboard for God.’ “ I tell them that story. So I called Amy. I’d never even see 7

her before, and we prayed on the phone, and then we met and we went to her Bible

study as our first date

, and then we left early and went to my Bible study, and we prayed

and we developed this friendship. And then, one of my girls who was old enough, said,

“Well, I’ve got a question, daddy. Did you and mommy before you were married ...”

“Well, actually, no.

You see, we loved the One so much that we followed His standards.

And we waited until our honeymoon night. And sweetheart, that’s one of the best

decisions that we’ve ever made. That’s something that no one can ever take away from

us.”

That can be

your life story. Or, you could have the flip side, which isn’t nearly as much

fun to tell. Imagine it this way. A twelve

-

year

-

old boy says to dad, “Hey dad, how did

you meet mom?” “Well, son, I’ve been waiting for you to ask this story for years. You

see, back in the day, your dad was a player. I mean, I just got chicks all the time. They

just lined up, you know. I was ... I was, you know, I was, yeah, I was the guy. And so

one night, man, I got rip roarin’ drunk, you know, I was out with all the bud

dies. We

were out partying hard, and I went into this bar. I came in and the music was dancing. I

was cruising across the room just checking them out, and all of a sudden, son, there

she was across the smoke

-

filled room. I saw your momma. She was so h

ot it was

unbelievable. I said to myself, ‘You’re taking that girl home.’ And there she was, son.

Your momma just a dancing with a pole. She was just (imitating, laughing) dance with

me ...” hahahahah Some of you here for the first time, “Can he do that

in church? Is

that legal?” haha Uh, true story, yeah, years ago, I kind of did that story, joke thing, and

afterwards, this girl came up to me and she said, “Craig, I am so glad you have never

been to a strip club.” And I haven’t, and I said, “How’d yo

u know?” And she said, “Well,

I used to be a stripper and you don’t know how to dance to a pole. It’s not like that ..”

haha,

So, two different stories. Children, don’t do what we did. Do what we say, but don’t do

what we did. Or, children here’s t

he way we did it and I hope you do it that way, as well.

I’m building the life story. Now, some of you are going to go, “Crap! Ohhhh, ohhhh,

what do we do now? I did everything wrong. Okay? Messed up big time.” Some of

you are going to say, “I’m, li

ke, lost in all of this sexual junk right now.” What do you

do? Let this scripture speak to you. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ ...” It doesn’t

matter how bad you’ve been. Doesn’t matter what is going on. If anyone is in Chr ...

Anyone. Anyone. Tha

t means you. “If anyone is in Christ, he is” say it out loud, “he is

a brand new person, a brand new creation. All of the old is gone, and everything new

has come.” It doesn’t matter how bad you’ve messed up, doesn’t matter what’s going

on. In Christ,

you can be new. In Christ, you can be set free. In Christ, you can be

completely healed. In Christ, your marriage can be changed. In Christ, you can

overcome that addiction to pornography. In Christ, you can over the addiction to

masturbation. In Chr

ist, you can overcome that which is separating you and your

spouse from intimacy. In Christ, you can overcome whatever past you have. In Christ,

you can be free.

Today is the day. Today is the day. There is a spiritual line in the sand and you are

ste

pping across the line. No matter what happened in the past, from this point, I am 8

moving forward with Christ. He will set me free. I know with everything in me, because

there is not a person who is more messed up in their mind nor actions than I was.

N

ever unfaithful? I was always unfaithful to every woman I dated, save one. I didn’t

know if I could ever be pure. Didn’t know if it was possible. Not on my own, but by the

power of Christ. I am different. Everything in me, I hope that you have someth

ing as

special as I have, but you are going to have to follow the path that I followed. It’s not my

own, it’s the power of Christ. Whoever He sets free is free indeed.

All of our campuses, let’s pray together. “God, we ask that the presence of Your Son

,

Jesus, would set us free.”

All of our campuses, right now, there are those of you that you are realizing. Let’s just

be real honest. You are realizing right now that God needs to take the standard of

purity even higher. No matter what you’ve done, to

day we are going to ask for

forgiveness. Let me tell you what’s going to happen. God is “boom,” instantly going to

forgive you. Then, I am going to ask you to forgive yourself, to let it go. Stop beating

yourself up. You can’t change the past. Then,

the presence of the Spirit of God is

going to lead you toward purity. You want what the One wants for you. You will live the

way the One asks you to live. It matters to Him, so it matters to us.

At all of our campuses, those of you that would say, “Yea

h, maybe in my marriage,

maybe in my thought life, maybe in my actions, maybe in my dating life, I need to take a

commitment to a higher standard of purity. God forgive me. Change me. Make me

more like Christ.”