The Dismantling of Divorce: Mark 10:1-12

Introduce

I remember a day nearly twenty years ago, a day that would change my life forever. My mom took me over to her best friends house. There was a study in the middle of the house with a chair. My mom called me into that room to talk.

The room was dark, but I could still see. I sat on her lap. Her eyes were sad, but strong. Her voice was soft, but clear. She said she needed to tell me something. She told me that her and my dad were getting a divorce.

As a third grader, I somewhat understood what that meant, my father and mother would no longer live in the same house. I don’t remember what happened the rest of that day, or even how the conversation went after that. Shortly after that the marriage of my father and mother was killed to never resurrect.

Why do I tell you this? I tell you, so you know that I like you am a person with a past and experiences that have shaped me. Some of you might be uncomfortable with what I just shared as my mother and stepfather sit in the room with us. I love them both and have approved of and benefited greatly from their marriage. They will agree with Jesus in this text and me as I expound Jesus’ words.

Jesus addresses a question of as much importance today as it was in His. In a day where no fault divorce is permitted, celebrated, and all too common, how are Jesus’ disciples to view and live out God’s ordinance of marriage?

The answer to this question will become clear as I retell the story. Let’s direct our attention to it.

Retell

To begin with, observe the diversion of divorce: 1-4

Sometime after the events of chapter 9, Jesus and his disciples left the region of Galilee. They were heading to Judea via the region of Perea. In this region, we are told that “crowds gathered to him again.” Look at the end of verse 1: “And again, as was his custom, he taught them.” Matthew tells us that this part of Jesus’ ministry also included healings. Jesus never turns away those who come to Him for instruction and help.

However, the crowds included some of Jesus’ enemies, the Pharisees. They asked Him a question. Look at verse 2: “Is it lawful for a man to divorce the his wife?” Mark tells us there motivation earlier in the verse. They came “in order to test him.” They desired to catch Him in a trap, that the crowds might turn away from Him. In other words, the question of divorce was a diversion.

A similar thing happens today to the followers of Christ. His and our enemies rarely ask questions in good faith. They ask questions to trip us up and tarnish our reputation. Such questions now center on the issues of abortion, gay marriage, or transgenderism. Here are some examples:

“Do you really not care about women’s health care?”

“Do you really believe in harming the LGBTQ community by saying what they believe and practice is untrue and morally corrupt?”

“Why are you misogynistic?”

“Why are you homophobic?”

“Why are transphobic?”

“Don’t you want to be on the right side of history?”

These questions and more are slanted to make a “good” answer impossible. Jesus will show us how to respond to such bad faith questioning, but that comes later. For now be aware that bad faith questions will come to those that follow the Christ as they came to Him. Adversely, avoid following the example of the Pharisees. Ask good faith and truth seeking questions.

Jesus responds to their test by asking them what Moses commanded them. Their answer is found in verse 4. Read it: “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce.”

Among the Jews, there was a difference of opinion relating to what Moses taught about the problem of divorce. The reference given by the Pharisees was Deuteronomy 24:1. It says:

When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house.

The difference of opinion centered on what was meant by the term “indecency.” The more conservative group thought that it meant adultery. The less conservative group thought the text permitted divorce if the wife did anything that displeased the husband. Maybe she spoke too loudly, couldn’t cook, or another woman looked better. In other words, they agreed with something similar to the no fault divorces of our day. The lax interpretation won out among Jews in Jesus’ day.

If Jesus took the side of the more conservative group, He would be despised by the Pharisees and many in the crowds. Moreover, the Pharisees would be able to point out his inconsistency because He associated with sinners.

If He took the side of the less conservative group, the more conservative Jews and women would despise Him. The Pharisees put Him in a no win situation, or so they thought.

The Pharisees desired to divert the crowds from following Jesus. They used the diversion of divorce. Would it work? We shall see.

Next, observe the dismantling of divorce: 5-9

Jesus was not shaken by the leading question of the Pharisees. Look at verse 5: “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment.” The command given in Deuteronomy 24:1 assumes that divorce had become a norm in the world and in Israel in particular. God graciously gives a command that a man must give a certificate of divorce to protect the woman. Without a certificate of divorce a woman would not be able to remarry leaving her shammed and destitute.

Furthermore, the intention Moses’ command was prevent a man from hastily divorce his wife. That said, the concession of God through Moses to the hardness of man’s heart does not tell us what God intends in the marriage union between one man and one woman.

Man’s hardness of heart doesn’t tell us the meaning or end of marriage any more than learning crash landing procedures teach us how to fly a plane.

Jesus suggests we go to the beginning to see God’s desire for marriage. Look at verses 6-9:

But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Citing Genesis 1:27 and Genesis 2:24, Jesus makes the following argument.

God made man as complementary genders of male and female in the beginning and has sustained this order ever since.

God intended that these two complementary genders would come together in marriage for a lifetime: one man with one one woman.

Therefore, since God intends the union of one man and one woman for a life long one flesh union in marriage, no mere man should break it.

Jesus appropriately weighs what text are to be used in determining God’s intention for marriage. A text on divorce is not relevant to or illuminating on God’s design for marriage any more than a book about skin cancer treatment teaches you how to have healthy skin.

Jesus doesn’t only appeal to the one flesh union that happens between the two complementary sexes.

He also establishes that the marriage bond takes priority over the bond of mother, father, and child. Thus, since the fifth commandment is, “Honor your father and mother.” How much more should the marital union be honored by avoiding adultery, polygamy, and divorce? Before their was a father and a mother there was a husband and a wife.

Jesus’ has dismantled the diversion of divorce. He has done so by appealing to God’s design and purpose for marriage. Does He have any more guidance to provide on this subject? Yes. We shall turn to it now

Lastly, observe the dangers of divorce: 10-12

The scene changes. Jesus is no longer with the crowds. He is in a house with His disciples. Throughout Mark, the disciples have been puzzled by Jesus and His teaching. It is no different here. Mark reports that they “asked him again about” divorce.

Jesus’ reply is found in verses 11-12. Look there: “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

At this point it, may be helpful to summarize the Bible’s teaching on marriage and divorce.

Marriage is an institution created by God to be enjoyed by one man and one woman in one flesh union for a lifetime (Gen 1:27-28; 2:24).

It typifies and illustrates Jesus’ relationship with the church (Ephesians 5:22-33).

Moreover, it is for the mutual benefit of husband and wife, the production of children, and the prevention of sin (Genesis 2:18; 1:28; 1 Corinthians 7:2, 9).

So, as Jesus argues divorce is not natural, meaning it is not the created end for marriage.

Divorces began as a result of the fall and the entrance of sin (Mark 10:2).

It is an assault against God’s design for marriage and is hated by Him (Malachi 2:16).

God through Moses allowed for it in certain circumstances to protect those involved due to the presence of sin. Yet this allowance was not a change in God’s design or moral law (Deuteronomy 24:1-4; 5:1-21, especially 5:18, 21). It was a change in man because of the presence of sin.

Divorce is permissible in the case of adultery, falling under adultery would be divorce for the sake of marrying another. It is also permissible in the case of abandonment, falling under abandonment would be abuse (Matthew 19:1-12; 1 Corinthians 7:12-16).

To sum all this up: God created and ordered marriage. He makes the rules. It is the duty of the disciple of Christ to obey God’s law, as it is found within God’s Word and written on the disciple’s heart by the Holy Spirit.

What Jesus says in verses 11-12 is a faithful application of God’s design and desire for marriage. Flippantly dissolving the one flesh union instituted by God to enter into another one is adultery, breaking the seventh commandment. It is a grievous sin against the other spouse and God. Like all sin, divorce and adultery are dangerous. The threat of judgment lurks behind them. It is no small thing to separate what God has joined.

Transition

You have observed the diversion, dismantling, and dangers of divorce. Now we may answer the question and consider how the teaching of this passage applies to us. Do you remember the question?

Here it is. In a day, where no fault divorce is permitted, celebrated, and all too common, how are Jesus’ disciples to view and live out God’s ordinance of marriage? The answer is as follows: Marriage belongs to God.

This big idea is behind much of what Jesus says. It is what the Pharisees and many in our day deny. Two implications arise from this big idea that apply directly to us. We’ll consider each one.

Apply

1. Marriage belongs to God, so He makes the rules.

You don’t make the rules. The government doesn’t make the rules. Popular opinion doesn’t make the rules. Therapeutic ideals and base desires don’t make the rules. Marriage according to God, who made it, is a life long one flesh union between one man and one woman.

Church, we must make sure that our view of marriage and all of life comes from God. We must accurately interpret God’s two books: the book of nature and the book of Scripture.

Again, this is why a robust confession of faith like the Second London Baptist Confession would help bolster our doctrinal and practical views in a reasonable and biblical way. It has a chapter on marriage and the concept of natural law shows up time and time again.

Natural law essentially states that God created the world and everything in it with certain ends. So long as the creature acts consistently with those ends, it obeys natural law. Jesus appeals to natural law to show God’s design for marriage. Even the ten commandments are a summary of natural law.

God created one man and one woman as complements of one another. He created them to be in one flesh union with each other. Their relationship even is of more importance than the parental relationship.

Thus, divorce, adultery, polygamy, homosexuality, transgenderism, and all like acts and views are against nature and nature’s God. The person who denies such things denies reality itself and the God who made it. They are hardly reliable guides on anything of consequence. Let us ground our beliefs in Scripture and think through issues with sound reason.

Marriage belongs to God, so He makes the rules.

2. Marriage belongs to God, so we keep the rules.

Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church. Pray for and with them daily. Provide for them physically, mentally, and spiritually. Don’t expect from her the things only God can give. It is only God who can make you truly and lastingly happy. The good life comes through union with and enjoyment of God in His Son Jesus Christ. To be a good husband be a devoted follower of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Wives love and submit to your husband as the church is supposed to love and submit to Christ. Pray for and with him daily. Don’t expect anything from him the things only God can give. It is only God who can make you truly and lastingly happy. Respect him. Be patient with him. To be a good wife be a devoted follower of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Together seek the Lord in His Word with His church. Together raise your children in the fear and instruction of the Lord. Together display the union between Jesus and His church.

Single Christians, pursue purity. God designed marriage as the only lawful place in which sex and all that accompanies it are to be enjoyed.

Church, we must take marriage seriously. We must not only take it serious in our beliefs, but also in our practices. We do this by

praying for the marriages in our congregation,

encouraging the marriages in our congregation,

exemplifying marriage to others in our congregation and community,

correcting errant views and unhealthy marriage practices in our members,

being firm in where we stand on marriage and divorce,

pointing those who have struggling or failed marriages to Christ,

calling those who have struggling or failed marriages to repent,

disciplining those members that transgress marriage vows in unlawful divorces, adultery, abuse, or abandonment,

and supporting those who have been harmed within marriage by a spouse who transgressed marriage vows.

Conclude

In a day where no fault divorce is permitted, celebrated, and all too common, how are Jesus’ disciples to view and live out God’s ordinance of marriage? I have reminded you that Marriage belongs to God, so he makes the rules and we keep the rules. We saw these things in the diversion of divorce, the dismantling of divorce, and the dangers of divorce.

Listener, perhaps you have been divorced. Perhaps it was an unlawful divorce. Perhaps you haven’t been married but have committed fornication and adultery. Perhaps you have had unnatural desires or relations with someone of the same sex. Perhaps you have believed you are not the gender or sex you were born as. What I’ve said may have you wondering whether you have committed the unforgivable sin. No, you haven’t. There is forgiveness for you in Christ. There is hope, joy, and salvation to all who come to the Lord Jesus in faith. Jesus died for sinners. I’m most certain you meet that criteria. Come to the Lord Jesus in faith. He will not turn you away. He will cleanse and purify you of your sins.

Unbeliever and counterfeit Christian, I also call upon you to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ. Though you may know the law of nature. You cannot keep it perfectly. God’s standard is perfection. Therefore, you need a savior. Jesus alone is that Savior. Trust in Him and you will be saved. Refuse to and you will go to the hell I spoke of last week.

I started this sermon by recounting the day I found out my parents were getting a divorce. My mother and I stand here today that even when marriages fail, God’s grace in Jesus never does. Even out of bad and sin, God works beautiful and wonderful things. So I conclude by saying though your days may seem dark and hopeless, Christian you will have hope, joy, laughter, light, and salvation. Jesus will never divorce His bride, the Church. As He came to save her from sin, He will come to rescue her from death and final judgement. Thank God for that. Let’s pray.