2021-1-28, Grandma Ruby Jones Memorial

Pre-service visiting

(3:45 PM EST), (Participants enter via waiting room, muted upon arrival.)

Pre-service Zoom Guidance

(3:55 PM) , (Nick mutes all and explains...

Mute

View

Raise hand

It will be recorded

Hands off to Becky.)

Prelude

(4:00 PM) Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep, (Becky/Nick mutes participants including those who may enter late; plays video on main screen, she fades video volume at end.)

Welcome & Prayer

(Doug states the purpose of the gathering, encourages participants to think if a brief & warm memory about Ruby to share later in the service. Doug hands off to Charles.)

Good afternoon. Thank you for joining us. I am Doug Jones, Ruby’s grandson, Richard’s son, and I was asked to officiate this memorial service for Grandma Ruby.

Our purpose for gathering online today is to celebrate Ruby’s life. I hope today we will all reflect on her as mom, grandma, and friend, and go away from this time with more love and appreciation in our hearts for her.

Later in the service there will be an opportunity for us to hear from many of the siblings about their mother. There will also be an opportunity for the rest of you to share a warm memory about Ruby if you so choose, but I’d like to invite you to go ahead and start thinking now about what you’d like to say now.

While we are here, celebration of life services are also a great opportunity to contemplate the amazing gift of life that we all share. It’s something we all have, but none of us contributed to our having it. Rather, it was given to us. With this in mind, it is appropriate to take this time to give God praise and thanks for our lives and the lives of our loved ones. So memorials are certainly a kind of worship service too. I hope you experience blessings in your gratitude.

With that, I’d like to invite you to begin this time with me in prayer.

Obituary

(Charles reads, Becky projects picture of Ruby to main screen.)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/12nyU6nqUbUBdQ6GVmDhFPJPbfkDfW-9qOb-adx2Xp6I/edit?usp=drivesdk

Song #1, Breaths*

(pre-recorded video with Abigail and Emily, Becky plays video on main screen)

Message

(Doug gives message, hands off to Richard)

When we lose a loved one, there are three things our hearts need.

1. We need to grieve because death has taken from us someone whom we love.

2. We also feel the need to honor that person’s life- to recognize her worth and express that her life mattered.

3. We also need hope. Death is a reminder that we live in a broken world, we look for hope so that we can have the encouragement we need to carry on- so that we don’t give up.

These three needs are normally a part of a service like these. Memorials are a chance to mourn, a time to give honor, and an occasion to to share hope.

So this morning I want briefly to share with you a Bible story which intertwines grieving, honor, and hope. I want to relate it to our experience today of remembering Grandma Ruby.

At the end of Genesis, there is a story about the death and burial of Jacob, the patriarch. Jacob is the father of the 12 sons whose families become the 12 tribes of Israel

Jacob, who came also to be called Israel, had a long & full life like Grandma Ruby. His life had a lot of excitement and suspense, but probably the greatest time of Jacob’s life was finding out his second-youngest son, Joseph, was still alive and had, by God’s amazing providence, become the 2nd greatest man in Egypt.

You might remember the story of Joseph and the coat of many colors? Joseph was one of Jacob’s 12 sons, but Joseph was the favorite. This caused a bitter rivalry between him and his brothers. When Joseph was young, his brothers actually sold him into slavery and then told their dad, Jacob, that Joseph had been killed by wild animals. Then they let this lie live on for years. This was one of the most evil things anyone did in all of Scripture.

But Genesis ends with Jacob’s discovery that Joseph was not dead! Rather, God had protected him and raised him up in power and prestige in Egypt.

Even greater than this discovery is the beautiful reunion between Jacob and his son Joseph and the forgiveness and reconciliation between Joseph and his brothers. Joseph eventually moved his father and brothers down to Egypt where there was food and grassland for their cattle. Jacob got to spend the rest of his days with the son whom he had lost.

But the day came when Jacob died.

Before he died, Jacob made it very clear that he wanted to be buried in the same place as his father, Isaac, and grandfather, Abraham. This was the land God had promised his family.

Genesis 49:33 ESV

33 When Jacob finished commanding his sons, he drew up his feet into the bed and breathed his last and was gathered to his people.

As great and powerful as Joseph had become, the death of his father had an intense effect on him. He grieved his father immensely.

Genesis 50:1 ESV

1 Then Joseph fell on his father’s face and wept over him and kissed him.

GRIEF

Joseph’s example of grief is helpful for us today. It seems to grant permission to us mourn for Ruby, and to do so as we need to. She lived a long life and died an old woman. But that doesn’t diminish the fact the she was mom, grandma, and friend. As we come to terms that we will go forward without being able to talk to her face to face or touch her warm hand, we should mourn. We should do so emotionally or stoically or somewhere in between. We should mourn for a hours, days, or months, however long is necessary. Grieving is good and necessary for our hearts.

HONOR

The story goes on to say that Joseph and his brothers honored their father greatly.

Joseph preserved Jacob’s body in a way that was consistent with his father’s beliefs in God. For example, Joseph had physicians embalm him rather than Egyptians priests.

Joseph and the Egyptians formally wept over Jacob for 70 days. In this, Jacob received honor from the whole nation of Egypt.

Then Joseph and his brothers and a very big company of Egyptian dignitaries (50:9-10) traveled from Egypt to Hebron to bury his father in the same place as Abraham & Isaac. This was a lengthy and expensive journey- everything about it seemed to communicate honor for Jacob.

After mourning for seven more days, Joseph and all of his brothers laid Jacob to rest at the cave of the field at Machpelah.

Then, there is such a satisfying conclusion to the story of the burial.

Genesis 50:12 ESV

12 Thus his sons did for him as he had commanded them,

They honored their father by obeying his wishes.

Speaking of honor, I want to point out how Grandma Ruby has received honor from us. First, in life, Ruby’s grown children honored her in the twilight of her life. I've am inspired by the love and respect they showedtoher- between the sibling conference calls, the shared sacrifice to help make ends meet for her, the regular phone & video calls, even managing to physically hold her hand and be with her in person in her final days, and the countless other ways they have loved her. They treated her well.

You modeled for my generation, how to give honor.

In doing so, you demonstrated What God calls right- Honor your father and mother

Relating this back to today, we give honor to Ruby in her death. As we memorialize her, we lift her up. Her children will eulogize her soon. We agree that her life matters greatly and that this world and our lives would not be the same if she had not been. I want to thank everyone who has joined in, sacrificing part of your day, to help pay her tribute.

Even today, as many of her family eulogize her, we follow Joseph’s example and give her honor.

HOPE

We need hope.

A few verses later, after the burial, Joseph’s brothers express concern that Joseph my seek revenge toward them now that their father had died. To this concern Joseph gives a profound spiritual truth which is arguably the main theme of the Bible...

Genesis 50:20 ESV

20 As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.

Joseph explained to his brothers, that he knew that God overcame their wicked deeds in order to put Joseph in the position to be able save the Hebrews and other nations from starvation.

In this is the incredible truth which runs throughout Scripture- even though the world is fallen, even though people do evil, shameful things, and make mistakes, even though disease & death take away the ones we love, even though famines displace families, even though we face of all of life’s troubles, God works through all things for our good.

In this truth, we have the Bible’s primary reason for hope- God loves you and is working for our benefit.

Joseph’s story is a precursor of the main story in the Bible- the gospel. In that story, another Savior like Joseph named Jesus. Jesus, likewise, endures suffering and evil at the hands of his brothers, culminating in His death on the cross. Yet, even though they meant it for evil, God meant it for good and worked all things to raise Jesus up, even raised Him from the dead to be king of kings and Lord of Lords- so that anyone who calls on his name should be kept alive.

John 3:16 ESV

16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

For those who trust in Jesus, God promises them that He works all things for their good (Romans 8:28). God even promises them that he will deliver them from all of life’s suffering, even death.

Romans 8:28 ESV

28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Therefore the Christian’s hope on earth is the hope of heaven. So that even if we grieve… 1 Thes 4:13b

1 Thessalonians 4:13 ESV

13 But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.

So today, as we grieve Ruby and honor Ruby, we have hope according to the Bible-

-That as a professing Christian, she is in the presence of Christ, free from the suffering of this world.

-That we who are in Christ will also be delivered and have reunion with her again.

-We can keep going in this life because Jesus lives and the gospel is true.

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow

Because He lives, all fear is gone

Because I know He holds the future

And life is worth the living,

Just because He lives

May the Lord fulfill our need to grieve, honor, and hope today.

Close in Prayer

Hand off to Richard.

Richard Shares

(Hands off to David)

David Shares

Song #2, Amazing Grace

(Nick J. gives instructions, leads a capella will lead while everyone is on mute, verses 1, 2, & 4; Nick will project PDF of words on screen. Hands off to Ed)

Tracey Shares

(via Ed; Hands off to Charles.)

Charles Shares

(Hands off to Doug.)

Others Share

(Doug invites other participants to share memories via raising hand button, Nick/Becky will manage mutes and putting hands down. Doug will hand off to Becky for slideshow.)

Slideshow,

What a Wonderful World (Louis Armstrong)

(Nick sharing slideshow)

Closing Comments & Benediction

(Doug will invite participants to stay and chat after the prayer. Becky will close the meeting.)