RESOLVING CONFLICT

TEXT: James 4:1–6 (NKJV)

Pride Promotes Strife

4 Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members? 2 You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. 3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures. 4 Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. 5 Or do you think that the Scripture says in vain, “The Spirit who dwells in us yearns jealously”?

6 But He gives more grace. Therefore He says:

“God resists the proud,

But gives grace to the humble.”

ILL: French novelist and playwright Alexandre Dumas once had a heated quarrel with a rising young politician. The argument became so intense that a duel was inevitable. Since both men were superb shots they decided to draw lots, the loser agreeing to shoot himself. Dumas lost. Pistol in hand, he withdrew in silent dignity to another room, closing the door behind him. The rest of the company waited in gloomy suspense for the shot that would end his career. It rang out at last. His friends ran to the door, opened it, and found Dumas, smoking revolver in hand. "Gentlemen, a most regrettable thing has happened," he announced. "I missed."  

Today in the Word, Moody Bible Institute, January 1992, p.33.

These two men did what they had to , to resolve their conflict. THE BIBLE INSTRUCTS CHRISTIANS ON WHAT TO DO TO RESOLVE CONFLICT.

I want to preach on Resolving conflict.

I. THE ISSUE OF CONFLICT

A. PRIDE CAUSES CONFLICT

ILL: George Gordon Liddy, Watergate conspirator recently released from prison: "I have found within myself all I need and all I ever shall need. I am a man of great faith, but my faith is in George Gordon Liddy. I have never failed me." 

The Christian Century, Sept. 28, 1977, p. 836.

1. Conflict arises in a Christians life when we adopt this attitude.

2. When Christians live life with the attitude that says, “I want what I want, God!” James 4:2–3 (LEB)

2 You desire and do not have; you murder and are filled with envy, and are not able to obtain; you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask. 3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, in order that you may spend it on your pleasures.

a.) You see the conflict isn’t with other people, the conflict is with God.

1. James is dealing w/ the P.O.G. because they were fighting God’s will. James 4:3 (LEB)

3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, in order that you may spend it on your pleasures.

2. They’re asking God for things that had nothing to do with the will of God but for their own will. Q: Are you asking God for things that you know He doesn't want you to have? Or are you conniving trying to get what you want when you want it? Believing you’re in control?

3. In the O.T . This was Jacob, up until Peniel, when he had a wrestling match with God. Genesis 32:24–25 (LEB)

24 And Jacob remained alone, and a man wrestled with him until the breaking of the dawn. 25 And when he saw that he could not prevail against him, he struck his hip socket, so that Jacob’s hip socket was sprained as he wrestled with him.

4. Jacob was in conflict with God about the will of God, and Jacob was difficult / hardheaded And God finally okay I know how to break your stubborn will, and bam! God struck Jacobs hip which represented his strength. Listen you can’t win against God.

You keep resisting His will for your life, He is going to resist you. James 4:6 (NKJV)

6 But He gives more grace. Therefore He says:

“God resists the proud,

But gives grace to the humble.”

II. YOU CAN’T HAVE THE BEST OF BOTH

A. GOD AND THE WORLD

ILL: Addressing a national seminar of Southern Baptist leaders, George Gallup said, "We find there is very little difference in ethical behavior between churchgoers and those who are not active religiously...The levels of lying, cheating, and stealing are remarkable similar in both groups. Eight out of ten Americans consider themselves Christians, Gallup said, yet only about half of them could identify the person who gave the Sermon on the Mount, and fewer still could recall five of the Ten Commandments. Only two in ten said they would be willing to suffer for their faith. 

Erwin Lutzer, Pastor to Pastor, p. 76.

James 4:4 (NKJV)

4 Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.

1. Another reason they were in conflict with God is they wanted what the world had to offer but also have God favor them.

2. Sadly there’re many Christians who want the world but God also and the scripture says that will not have it.

James 4:5 (NKJV)

5 Or do you think that the Scripture says in vain, “The Spirit who dwells in us yearns jealously”?

a.) The O.T. gives the picture of marriage, those who have vow’d to love and serve God but have broken their vows to serve the world! An illicit affair with the world (all its values, mind-set, philosophies, of life, and priorities that run contrary to the will of God.

1. And when you as a believer in Jesus live this way the bible says God resists or opposes you because you’re walking in pride. From antí (473), against, and tássō (5021), to arrange. To set an army in array against, to arrange in battle order. In the NT, antitássomai is used metaphorically to set oneself in opposition to or in array against, to resist

I.e. God fights against you. You want to go the way of the world, you’re rejecting God, you're not saying you don’t believe in God, but you’re not doing and living how God wants! And so God is going to fight against you until you break.

2. How many know God has a way of breaking a stubborn will? Psalm 32:9 (NKJV)

9 Do not be like the horse or like the mule,

Which have no understanding,

Which must be harnessed with bit and bridle,

Else they will not come near you.

3. Listen, you’re not going to like when God has to harness you. ILL: The full nelson hold.

B. WHAT DOES GOD WANT YOU TO DO

1. James 4:7 (NKJV)

Humility Cures Worldliness

7 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

2. What is it that God wants you to do? Well for one we understand He wants us to stop being double- minded, being friends with the world.

a.) What else? Forgive that someone, say your sorry, tithe, quit being rebellious , relying on your self, humble yourself ?

1. Stop fighting God? Like bro Lonnie Wilson told me once,”My arms are to short to fight with God and I wouldn’t want to either.”

III. GOD WANTS YOU TO DRAW NEAR AND REPENT

A. DON’T BE LIKE HORSE AND MULE WHO WON’T COME NEAR

1. James 4:8–10 (NKJV)

8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.

2. Break off the relationship you have with the world by humbling yourself before God and admitting you were wrong. Listen, you don’t have to struggle with one minute you want God, you feel good, you’re encouraged and the next minute you’re falling for the world.

3. The way to overcome is to submit to the will of God. This is going to require you to first repent and then renew your mind or the way you think, that means you will have to deliberately read and meditate your bible, this the way you conquer worldliness and to conquer the devil you’ll have to resist him. From antí (473), against, and hístēmi (2476), to stand. To stand against, resist, whether in deed or word

B. Finally God will lift you up

1. God will raise you to a position of prosperity, dignity and honor= high respect, great esteem.