SF630 - WHAT KIDS NEED MOST (Ephesians 6 4)
SF630
WHAT KIDS NEED MOST!
Ephesians 6:4
INTRODUCTION
“I heard a story of a state trooper who was riding the highways one day when he saw a large truck with a completely closed aluminum trailer moving erratically in the slow lane. The truck went fast for about a mile. Then it started to slow down until finally it came to a stop on the shoulder. The driver jumped out of the truck ran back to the trailer, and beat the side of it with a long stick. After about three minutes of frenzied pounding, the driver dashed back to the cab of the truck, climbed in, and immediately sped off down the highway. As the trooper watched, the truck driver repeated the process every mile or two. Finally, the trooper couldn’t take anymore, and he pulled the driver over to find out what was going on.
‘Well, officer’ the man explained, ‘this is a one-ton truck, and I’m trying to haul two tons of canaries, so I have to keep half of them in the air at all times!” Maxwell (155)
Boy that describes our families... it is a juggling act!
I heard about some census takers up in the mountains. The census taker asked, at one of the homes, how many children do you have? She said, "Well, we have ten children. Nine of them are living here and Harry is at Harvard." He said, "oh, you have a son studying at Harvard?" She said, "No, they're studying him."
1A. THEY NEED YOUR ATTENTION
“Time is quickly becoming our most precious commodity, and over commitment is its enemy.” John Maxwell
“The average American had 26.2 hours a week in leisure time in 1973. By 1987, it had dropped to 16.6 hours per week, a loss of 10 hours a week in leisure time.” Rick Warren (p. 376)
“A century ago, parents spent an average of 54% of their waking hours with their children. The current average is 18% - 1/3 of the time spent before.” Maxwell (p. 156)
The Key is to Establish Time Priorities...
Maxwell in “Breakthrough Parenting” suggests...
1B. Schedule Family Time First
You will rarely do anything consistently if you do not plan to do it!
2B. Discuss Plans with your Children
The older they get the more critical this becomes.
3B. Put your Family Agenda Ahead of your Personal Agenda
This takes a servant’s heart.
4B. When Possible, Change your Work Schedule to Attend Significant Events
Remember, you have one chance to experience firsts!
2A. THEY NEED YOUR AFFECTION
Children need daily and heavy doses of unconditional Love!
How do you express that Love?
1B. By Touching Them
You need to hug your children!
Dad’s don’t withhold your affection!
“Many a young woman who opts for immoral sexual relationships does so because she can scarcely remember a time when her father so much as touched her. Unaffectionate dads, without wishing to do so, can trigger a daughter’s promiscuity.” Chuck Swindoll (Rogers 90)
2B. By Blessing Them
They need to be reminded that they are special to you and the Lord!
They need to know you are behind them even when the fail!
3B. By Listening to Them
Learn to hear not only with your ears but also with your heart
Learn to listen WHEN they want to talk!
4B. By Praying for Them
Frequently - Openly - Passionately
3A. THEY NEED YOUR AFFIRMATION
1B. Encourage Them
(Colossians 3:21) "Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged."
Encourage them to achieve
Focus on their effort not their accomplishment!
Convince them that YOU believe in THEM!
2B. Enjoy Them
Have fun with your Kids
Don’t take yourself or them too seriously!
Teach your kids to laugh at themselves - by laughing at yourself!!!!
Laughter is a great antidote for failure!
3B. Include Them
Make them a part of your world!
Let them help you!
Thank them when they do!
4A. THEY NEED YOUR AUTHORITY
1B. Limit Them
Set reasonable, rational limits!
Be consistent and fair in discipline
(1 Samuel 3:13) "For I told him that I would judge his family forever because of the sin he knew about; his sons made themselves contemptible, and he failed to restrain them."
Hold them accountable for their behavior!
Remember, the failure to place limits communicates not freedom but rejection.
2B. Lead Them
What type of person do you want your child to become?
Then model that type of character before them.
APPLICATION
“In 1993 workers doing some moving and remodeling at the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, New York, discovered something rather unusual. As they were moving a display cabinet, they found an old photograph tucked behind the case. It was photo of a stocky, friendly-looking man in a baseball uniform with the words “Sinclair Oil” on the shirt.
Stapled to the picture was a note in a man’s scrawl that said, ‘You were never too tired to play ball. On your days off, you helped build the Little League field. You always came to watch me play. You were a Hall of Fame dad. I wish I could share this moment with you.
No one knew how the picture got there or the identity of the dad in the photo. A national sports magazine picked up the touching story, and a man came forward to say that he had tucked the picture and the note behind the display case during a visit to the Hall of Fame.
It seems the ballplayer in the photo was this man’s late father. Just like the note said, this man was proud of his dad and believed he deserved to receive special recognition. So he decided to honor his father by holding his own little ceremony to induct his dad into the Hall of Fame.” Rogers (98)
I want to be a Hall of Fame parent - Don’t YOU?
We can be - not by being perfect parents, but by being Christian parents.
The key to our relationship with our children is our relationship with our heavenly Father.