MARRIAGE SECRETS #2 Commitment

MARRIAGE SECRETS #2

COMMITMENT

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THE MARRIAGE EQUATION

A Marriage problem = A Love problem

A Love problem = God problem

A God problem =A Selfishness problem...or a Lordship problem..

1. WHAT DOES COMMITMENT LOOK LIKE?

Divorce is not an option

No back door

A wall behind you

I am in this for forever

Growing old together

When your still there

Being there even when emotional healing is needed

Not looking out for my own interest

Paint the trial and I’m still committed

COMMITMENT

Our children WILL grow up with a father and mother

Our children WILL never be forced to take sides

Our children WILL grow up free from Strife, arguing , and fighting, resulting in life-long trauma

1. WHY??? WHY BE COMMITTED?

1. BECAUSE OF YOUR UNSHAKABLE COMMITMENT TO GOD AND HIS WILL

REMEMBER:

GOD IS LOVE

LOVE IS THE NEW COMMAND

LOVE IS THE GREATEST COMMAND

LOVE FULFILLS THE LAW AND PROPHETS

LOVE NEVER FAILS

WHY BE COMMITTED? BECAUSE...

2. GOD HATES DIVORCE

Look at what God says

Mal 2:13-16 "I hate divorce,” says the Lord God of Israel

Malachi 2:13–16 NIV - Anglicised

13 Another thing you do: You flood the Lord’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. 14 You ask, “Why?” It is because the Lord is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. 15 Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. 16 “I hate divorce,” says the Lord God of Israel, “and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,” says the Lord Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.

WHY BE COMMITTED? BECAUSE...

3. DIVORCE COMES FROM HARDNESS OF HEART (without love)

Mark 10:1-12 Moses permitted divorce because your hearts were hard

4. DOES GOD ALLOW DIVORCE?

Matthew 5:31-32 Except for marital unfaithfulness

Matthew 5:31–32 NIV - Anglicised

31 “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

5. GOD CREATED MARRIAGE TO BE FOREVER?

Gen 2:19-24 They will become one flesh

Genesis 2:19–24 NIV - Anglicised

19 Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman’, for she was taken out of man.” 24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

They become a single unit – not two that can be separated.

Mark 10:7-9 The two will become one flesh

Mark 10:7–9 NIV - Anglicised

7 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,8 and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

What God has joined should not be separated!

6. WE ARE MARRIED TO IMPERFECT PEOPLE

The Reality Of Imperfection

They don’t keep things clean the way you would like

Bathroom.... Dishes...

They pick their nose

They get upset easy

They’re not a good listener

They always seem to see what you are doing wrong..

They have a different perspectives

Political… Family… Vacations… Christmas & holidays…???

What if they are struggling with sin or adictions?

Porn, overeating, alcohol, etc…

Work-a-holic

Love Them Where They Are At

Love them in all their imperfection

God has given you the task of helping your partner become strong where they are weak through your LOVE

Love brings increase

Condemnation promotes more failure

Your first ministry is to your spouse

7. IF MY MARRIAGE IS REALLY HARD, WHY SHOULD I KEEP GOING?

God allows trials for your good

1 Pet 1:6-9 These trials have come so that your faith

1 Peter 1:6–9 NIV - Anglicised

6 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honour when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9 for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

Tests and Tribulation Create Perseverance

James 1:2-4 Perseverance must finish its work

James 1:2–4 NIV - Anglicised

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

You Are Called To Suffer

1Pet 2:13-25 To this you were called

1 Peter 2:13–25 NIV - Anglicised

13 Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every authority instituted among men: whether to the king, as the supreme authority, 14 or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. 15 For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men. 16 Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God. 17 Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honour the king. 18 Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh. 19 For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God. 20 But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. 21 To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. 22 “He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.” 23 When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. 24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. 25 For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.

Phil 2:1-11 Your attitude should be the same as Christ Jesus

Philippians 2:1–11 NIV - Anglicised

1 If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: 6 Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, 7 but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross! 9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

8. WHAT AM I COMMITTED TO?

Your very best

I am in it for forever

John 6:66-68 Where else can we go you have the words of life

Dan 3:18 Shadrac, Meshec and Abenego...Even if God doesn’t save me I wont bow

Your decision must made beforehand.

The world is always painting a picture of non commitment

9. THE CONSEQUENCES OF COMMITMENT

You Will Find Out Your Spouse Is Not Your Problem

How do I learn to let God change me

You will learn the secrets of truly being fulfilled by God

You Will Learn The Secrets Of Intimacy With God

Phil 3:10 -11 I want to know Christ and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings

Philippians 3:10–11 NIV - Anglicised

10 I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.

God’s Love Will Fill Your Marriage

Eph 3:14-19 Filled to the measure of all the fulness of God

Ephesians 3:14–19 NIV - Anglicised

14 For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15 from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fulness of God.

You Will Experience The Wonder Of Giving Yourself Away

giving your whole self away

giving your whole heart away

Some don’t give their whole heart

God demands our whole heart

Always whole hearted

You will grow close together