SF687 - HOW TO RELATE WISELY TO OTHERS - DEVELOPING A FAITH THAT WORKS (James 3 13-18)
HOW TO RELATE WISELY TO OTHERS
Developing a Faith That Works
James 3:13-18
Introduction
Every day you encounter many different kinds of people.
Ø Some are very delightful. Some are very difficult
Ø Some of them are inspiring. Some of them are irritating,
Our lives are made up of relationships (18)
Ø James says, every day in every relationship, you're planting seeds. Seeds of anger, jealousy, peace, confidence, insecurity, many different kinds of seeds.
Ø So you will inevitable reap in your relationships.
Ø How can I plant seeds of peace? How can I be a peacemaker? How can I have peaceful relationships?
Wisdom. We need to learn how to be wise in the way we act toward people.
1A. The Value of wisdom (13)
1B. Wisdom is Greater than Monetary Power
(Proverbs 3:13-17 NIV) "Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, {14} for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. {15} She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. {16} Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor. {17} Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace."
2B. Wisdom is Greater than Military Power
(Ecclesiastes 9:16-18 NIV) "So I said, "Wisdom is better than strength." But the poor man's wisdom is despised, and his words are no longer heeded. {17} The quiet words of the wise are more to be heeded than the shouts of a ruler of fools. {18} Wisdom is better than weapons of war, but one sinner destroys much good."
3B. Wisdom is Greater than Mental Power
(Proverbs 4:4-8 NIV) "he taught me and said, "Lay hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commands and you will live. {5} Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or swerve from them. {6} Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you. {7} Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. {8} Esteem her, and she will exalt you; embrace her, and she will honor you."
Wisdom and knowledge are linked - Wisdom always comes first!
Ø Knowledge without wisdom = pride.
Ø Knowledge is learned, Wisdom is given
2A. The Virtues of wisdom
1B. The Virtues of Godly Wisdom (13b)
Wisdom will result in good actions
Ø If you have wisdom it will show in the goodness of your life.
Wisdom will produce a gracious attitude
Humility = the ability to understand your worth in Christ, you do not have to compare yourself to any one.
Ø The Lord came to make you a wise man not a wise guy.
2B. The Vileness of Devilish Wisdom (14-15)
The revelation of it (14)
Ø Envy, selfish ambition
Ø Boasting
Ø Denying the truth
The roots of it (15)
Ø Earthly
Ø Unspiritual
Ø Satanic
The results of it (16)
Ø Devilish wisdom ends in confusion!
Ø If you have confusion and disorder in your relationships it is a result of devilish wisdom - living by the world's wisdom!
3A. The Victory of Wisdom (17)
1B. If I am Wise, I will not Compromise my Integrity (17a)
"The wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure..."
Pure means uncorrupted, authentic.
Ø Integrity. If I'm really genuine, if I'm wise, I'm not going to lie to you, I'm not going to cheat you, I'm not going to manipulate you, I'm not going to be deceitful.
All relationships are built on trust and respect.
(Proverbs 10:9 NCV) "The honest person will live in safety, but the dishonest will be caught."
2B. If I am Wise I will not Antagonize Your Anger (17b)
Peace-loving
(Proverbs 20:3 NIV) "It is to a man's honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel."
Three things that cause arguments
1C. Comparing
2C. Condemning
3C. Contradicting
(Proverbs 14:29 NIV) "A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly."
3B. If I am Wise I Will Not Minimize Your Feelings. (17c)
Considerate" means "mindful of the feelings of others".
(Proverbs 15:4 NIV) "The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit."
Do you ever play this game:
My day can beat your day. Husband comes home worn out and starts complaining, "The traffic was bad, my boss got upset, the air conditioning went out." Wife says, "Oh, yeah? Junior dunked the cat down the toilet, the beans burned.
4B. If I Am Wise I will not Criticize Your Decisions/Suggestions. (17d)
"Wisdom is submissive". means reasonable, willing to listen, willing to be open to ideas and suggestions.
Are you a reasonable person?
Ø Can your kids reason with you? The Bible says if you are wise, you are reasonable. You are open to suggestions.
Do not be defensive.
Ø Most of us are too oversensitive
A new pastor preaches the first day. When it's over a guy walks out and says, "Pastor, that sermon stunk." Pastor is trying to be real open about it, reasonable, wise, "What didn't you like about it?" "In the first place you read it. In the second place you read it poorly. In the third place it wasn't worth reading in the first place." Another guy walks out right behind him and says, "Don't listen to old Jim. He just repeats what he hears everybody else say."
(Proverbs 12:15 NIV) "The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice."
5B. If I am Wise I will not Emphasize Your Mistakes. (17e)
"Wisdom is full of mercy and good fruit."
Do you jump on people every time they blunder, every time they make a fault and fumble it?
Do you always use everybody in your family as the butt of your joke?
Do you ever let people go, or do you keep hounding about their past mistakes?
Two guys at a convention with their wives. They were long lost friends. They sat in the lobby all night talking. They knew they would be in trouble with their wives. They went back to their rooms. The next day they happened to see each other. "What did your wife think?" "I walked in the door and my wife got historical." "Don't you mean hysterical?" "No, historical. She told me everything I ever did wrong."
Proverbs 17:9 "Love forgets mistakes. Nagging about them parts even the best of friends."
Good fruit is kind actions, it's something you do. You don't just show sympathy.
6B. If I am Wise I will not Disguise My Own Weaknesses
"Wisdom is impartial and sincere."
These two words in Greek sound similar. They sound like "hypocrite" and that where we get the word from. It means "without hypocrisy" -- straightforward
Real wise people are honest and open. They are not phony.
Proverbs 28:13 "You will never succeed in life if you try to hide your sins."
Application
How do you rate on the wisdom test?
Do you compromise your integrity?
Ø Do you use people, manipulate them and use them for the things you want?
Do you tend to antagonize anger?
Ø Always saying things that tick people off? You know if you say it, it will press their hot button.
Do you minimize other's feelings?
Do you criticize other's suggestions?
Do you emphasize other's mistakes?
Do you disguise your weaknesses?
How do I get wisdom?
Knowledge comes from education. Wisdom comes from God.
To get knowledge you look around. To get wisdom you look up.
Knowledge comes from reason. Wisdom comes from revelation.
Knowledge is something you learn. Wisdom is a gift.
James 1:5 "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God."
Colossians 2:3 "The secret is Christ Himself. In Him lie hidden all God's treasures of wisdom."
It is all wrapped up in a person, Jesus Christ. If you want God's wisdom get Jesus in your life.
HOW TO RELATE WISELY TO OTHERS
Developing a Faith That Works
June 1, 1997 - James 3:13-18
Tim McGhee
1A. The __________________ of wisdom (13)
1B. Wisdom is Greater than ___________ Power
(Proverbs 3:13-17 NIV
2B. Wisdom is Greater than ___________ Power
(Ecclesiastes 9:16-18 NIV)
3B. Wisdom is Greater than ____________ Power
(Proverbs 4:4-8 NIV
Wisdom and knowledge are linked - Wisdom always comes first!
2A. The _______________________ of wisdom
1B. The Virtues of ___________________ (13)
Wisdom will result in good actions
Wisdom will produce a gracious attitude
2B. The Vileness of _________________ (14-15)
The revelation of it (14)
The roots of it (15)
The results of it (16)
3A. The _____________ of Wisdom (17)
1B. If I am Wise, I will not ___________ my Integrity (17a)
(Proverbs 10:9 NCV) "The honest person will live in safety, but the dishonest will be caught."
2B. If I am Wise, I will not ___________ Your Anger (17b)
(Proverbs 20:3 NIV) "It is to a man's honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel."
Three things that cause arguments
(Proverbs 14:29 NIV) "A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly."
3B. If I am Wise I Will Not _______ Your Feelings. (17c)
(Proverbs 15:4 NIV) "The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit."
4B. If I Am Wise I will not _______ Your Decisions/Suggestions. (17d)
(Proverbs 12:15 NIV) … a wise man listens to advice."
5B. If I am Wise I will not ________ Your Mistakes. (17e)
Proverbs 17:9 "Love forgets mistakes. Nagging about them parts even the best of friends."
6B. If I am Wise I will not _______ My Own Weaknesses