Standing Strong in the face of Negative Peer Pressure

Introduction

Growing up my parents were know to ask us if your friends jumped off a cliff would you? I always wanted to say, “Yeah, if I had a bungee chord.” We all face peer pressure in our lives; in fact, it doesn’t go away when you become an adult. Even in the ministry, we face the temptation to think and act just like everyone else in our circles rather than let the Bible determine who we are.

The need to fit in with our peer group is really important. We all want to belong to something, be part of a group, be accepted and have friends. This need in and of itself is not wrong for us to have; however, sometimes we let the desire to be popular or accepted make us do wrong things. Sometimes it is just stupid things, but they are not good, helpful things in our loves. When I was in high school here at Harvest Hills Christian School, the in-thing was to wear orange. Honestly at times I went overboard with it. I had orange windbreaker pants; I wore orange button up shirts to school; I had an orange hat and for soccer, I wore orange and yellow strings on my shoes. I probably looked like a giant orange walking down the soccer field. Don’t take lightly the influence your friends will have on you.

I. The Negative influence of Peer Pressure

Exodus 23:2 warns that we should not follow the crowd to do evil or wrong things.

Romans 12:2 commands us not to be conformed to the ways of the world around us. (Use play dough and balloon examples)

Negative Examples

Your friends are all playing the coolest video game, but you know it has nudity and cussing in it that you can’t cut out and yet you still choose to play the game anyways.

You desperately want a boyfriend and all your friends have one, so you start looking for clothes that will make you more appealing to a guy, but you know that the bible teaches modesty and yet you still buy the clothes. (Girls, if you have to show more of yourself and wear certain clothes to get the attention of a guy, he is not the right kinda guy for you. A good guy will see you for who you are not what you wear).

The bible talks about a type of person who is not just content with doing wrong himself; but he wants you to do evil with him. Sometimes they just like to see a good kid do bad things, sometimes they want to have fun doing wrong so they bring someone else with them; other times they just want someone to say hey that’s cool when it is actually wrong. Watch out for those people who go out of their way to drag you down?

Proverbs divides everyone into essentially three groups: the wise, the simple and the scorner often called the fool. The wise are those who make good choices based on God’s word, the scorner and fool are those who reject God’s word, want nothing to do with it and even mock those who do right. The simple are the biggest group by far. They are the followers. Statistically about 10% of you are the wise, 10% are the scorners while the other 80% are followers. It is very important who you follow. A popular scorner can lead the youth group and school group in totally the wrong direction.

II. The Positive influence of Peer Pressure

Sometimes peer pressure can be a good thing. Good friends are a blessing. They are there for you when you are struggling, when you need to cry (girls), they will pick you up when you need a ride, hang out with you. Sometimes friends are good and bad friends. Maybe they are always there for you but they pull you to do bad things. Have you ever thought about being the good friend and trying to pull them the right direction?

Proverbs 13:20 KJV 1900

He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: But a companion of fools shall be destroyed.

If you hang around with wise people, it will rub off on you. You want to be smart; go study with the smart kids. You want to know more about God and have a closer relationship with Him, find someone who is seeking the same things. Notice the negative side, a companion of fools will be destroyed. This isn’t saying that God’s going to strike you with lightning if you hang out with bad friends. It is saying that the end result of foolishness is pain and destroyed lives, yet peer pressure can be a good thing.

Ecclesiastes 4:10 KJV 1900

For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

Having a good friend is a necessity because when you are down or struggling they can lift you up.

Positive Examples

Friends tell your teen to study harder so they can get better grades. They decide it's cool to get a good grade on a test.

A group of friends all get jobs after school, and they convince your teen to get a job too because it's fun to have spending money. It gives your teen the confidence to apply for a job.

Several of your teen's friends buy their own cars. Your teen becomes motivated to save their money so they can buy their own car too.

One guy in the youth group decides to be a leader and invites his friend to a time of prayer and bible study at his house.

III. How to stand strong in the face of negative peer pressure.

Hebrews 10:19–24 KJV 1900

Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the blood of Jesus, By a new and living way, which he hath consecrated for us, through the veil, that is to say, his flesh; And having an high priest over the house of God; Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;) And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:

Let me give you some background on this passage because Hebrews is one of those crazy difficult books to understand.

The Jewish church that this book was written to was facing extreme peer pressure. Rome was beginning to persecute the church more and more and the unsaved Jews were criticizing and attacking the church at the same time. There were people in this church as their are most likely even here today who were surrounded by Christian influences. Maybe like you they grew up in a Christian home, they go to church, the read their bibles every now and then and they have experienced Jesus a little in their life, but yet they still have not placed their faith in Jesus Christ. These people may have even said they were Christians but they did not have faith in Christ. Their Jewish family members were trying to get them to come back to Judaism and honestly, it would have been easy to do so because of all the persecution they were facing. The author of Hebrews begs them because Jesus has provided for their salvation in a way that Judaism never could not to turn their back on Christianity. To help them stay strong he encourages them to do these things:

Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith (vs 22)- If we are going to resist negative peer pressure, we need an authentic, close relationship with God. The author begs them to draw near, get close to God. Now we are only able to do this if we have been sprinkled by the blood of Christ, if we are saved. When we draw near we are to do it in two ways: with a true heart and in full assurance of faith. A true heart speaks of a real relationship, an authentic relationship. We hear preaching all the time on reading you bible, going to church and praying; but if your heart is not in it these things are meaningless. You must have a desire for God. Does you heart burn when you think of pleasing God, knowing God or serving God? The second way we must approach Him is in full assurance of faith.

Heb 11:6 Without faith it is impossible to please Him.

Let us Hold fast the profession of our faith (vs 23)- stay strong. If we are going to resist negative peer pressure, we must choose to stand strong and not give in. Resist the temptation to give in to peer pressure. God usually doesn’t magically make the temptation to do wrong go away. We have to fight through it. Seek accountability with a good friend, your parents or your pastor, but fight through. We do this by holding to what is good and clinging to our faith. Remind yourself of what the scriptures say about a particular situation. Meditate on it.

Let us consider one another to provoke unto love and good works (vs24) - If we are going to resist negative peer pressure, we must encourage and surround ourselves with people who want to do right. Be a leader. Stand up and encourage others to do the right thing with you. Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together- If you want to stay strong for the Lord, you need to be part of a good church. Being with other believers can be that positive influence in our lives to help us go the right direction, but I think this passage means more than just that. Some of you probably go to large church and may you feel like you don’t know very many people there. Even in a small church it is easy to feel disconnected. I challenge you to find those good friends in that church and start getting together with them to encourage each other in the Lord. Assemble together doesn’t have to just mean church, it can mean getting together with other believers. The purpose of this assembly is to spur people on to love each other, God and others and to do good for others.

Conclusion:

Peer pressure can be a good or a bad influence in your life, but there is a way to resist negative peer pressure. You can’t really run away from it in all cases because the people you are surrounded with every day doesn’t usually change, but you can fight. If you are going to resist negative peer pressure, you must get closer to God, stand strong and surround yourself with people who want to do right.