Pastoral Prayer on the Occasion of the Passing of Cameron Leeds

Prepared to Initiate a Time of Prayer for the Family and Friends of Cameron Leeds

God. you are holy, righteous, loving, mighty, merciful, compassionate, infinite, beautiful, sovereign, and good. You guide each and every one of our steps and love us with a love beyond comprehension. You have made this whole world and all of her contents to redound to your glory and the good of your people. You never give up on your people. God, you can do more than we could ever ask or imagine. In our sin and rebellion we deserve nothing but punishment and shame, yet you give us grace upon grace. One of the incredible graces you’ve shared with us is the mind-blowing, undeserved ability to be able to talk to you. Compared to you we are but atoms and particles. We pale in comparison to your glory. We deserve none of your time or attention and yet you give it all to us. You’re not just there to hear our praise, but you want to hear our laments, our cries, our anxieties, our joys, and our desires. Today, we have many for you, and we believe with all of hearts that you are listening with full attention right now. Not a word will come from our lips that you don’t cherish. God would you hear our cries, cries that we point to you because you are the only one who can bring the comfort, solace, joy, and real love that we need.

Today, more than most, we’re longing for that day when death, tears, and pain will be no more. Would you come quickly Jesus? Days like yesterday beckon us to cry out with the Psalmist, “How long, O Lord?” God, you are no stranger to lament. You divinely inspired the very writers of your holy Word to lament. So God we bring our laments to you. We lament the fact that a bright and joyful marriage has come to an end. God we lament what could have been. We hurt because we could imagine beautiful children that could have been. We lament anniversaries that will never be. We cry out for the times Cameron could have been there to support Alex when she came home from a hard day at work or when the world seemed to crash down around her. We yearn for the lifetime of tender and loving moments they could have shared. We lament that last night the newly purchased house that was supposed to represent togetherness now seems to scream of loneliness and what could have been.

God, we lament the loss of beloved friend, cousin, and family member. We lament the open seat at the Thanksgiving table. We lament the late night conversations that could have been. We lament the loss of a son. No parent should ever have to bury their boy. We lament so much God. We even have laments and cries that we can’t yet put to words.

Yet amidst our lament, God, we are not without hope. We are sorrowful, yet always rejoicing.

God, it’s hard to have any idea what you’re doing in all of this. We struggle to see your infinite wisdom right now. But we know people had the same response to the cross. We know that even the angels longed to gaze at the truths of the cross. Yet, God you took the worst crime ever committed in the history of the universe and turned into the greatest cause for celebration beyond our wildest dreams. You took calamity and turned it into hope; our only hope.

What other god, in any other religion, enters into the pain of their people like you do? None! You are utterly unique in your love and devotion to the world. That’s why we cry out to you and you alone.

We mourn the loss of a son. God, you know it’s like to lose a Son. You know exactly what we’re going through. What other god can say that? None! In the loss your son you shower mercy upon us. Because of Jesus we can have a cross shaped lament. With every stroke of the hammer driving the nails deeper into Christ, you drove us nearer to your heart in love. With every drop of blood spilled at the cross, you lavish us with grace upon grace. At Calvary, you made darkness surround your Son, so you could make the light of your glory surround us forever. Because Jesus clung tightly to the cross, God we can cling tightly to you.

At the cross, we see the greatest overkill that the universe has ever seen. This wasn’t a last second win or a struggle to the end. This was the explosion of sin and death into oblivion. Sin, Satan, and death do not have the final word...you do.

If we listen closely with our hearts, we can hear the sound of crumbling….the crumbling of Satan’s rule over the world, the crumbling of the effects of the fall, the crumbling of desperation, the crumbling of death, tears, and pain. In the place of that shack built on sand, you are building a mansion on the once rejected cornerstone where you will have a home filled with your beloved people from every tribe, tongue, time, and nation.

There is no sin that can keep us from you if we put our trust in you. You welcome us with open arms, God.

God we cling to the hope that one day you will make all of the sad things come untrue. Because you sent your Son, hopelessness is an impossible state for those of us who are Christ-followers. The worst thing that could ever happen to us, facing the just punishment for our sins, has already happened in Jesus, and the best thing that could ever happen to us, and eternity spent in perfect love and satisfaction with you, awaits us.

Because of the loved and power you have showed us, and because we know you desire to hear from us, we have requests for you; all of them meant for our good and your glory.

God we pray for Alex. We can't possibly imagine what she is going through. She has just lost the love of her life. God, in a time where she has never felt more alone, would you remind her in a powerful way that is never actually alone because you are with her. Would you help her feel the love the church as we seek to care for her in these coming days. In the absence of her groom, would you let her feel the presence of friends and family, and above all you, in a special way. Help her cling to you and give her a hope beyond her wildest imagination. God, we know that as Alex mourns, Cameron does not. For the first time in his life Cameron is not anxious. For the first time since he was married to Alex, he is not worried about her. It's not because He doesn't care. In fact it’s the very opposite. For the first time ever He gets a real glimpse at all of the perfect ways that you will care for and sustain his bride and his family all the days of their lives. If only Alex could see what He sees. We pray that you would give her even a semblance of the peace that Cameron has right now in your presence.

We pray for Cameron’s family, and specifically Taren and Emma. Would you comfort them in their grieving. Would you uphold and sustain them as they walk through this gut wrenching and painful time. Would you fill their heart with a peace and assurance that surpasses all understanding? Help them to know and feel your infinite love in a way they never have before. Manifest your presence in a powerful way in their hearts so that they might draw closer to you.

God, we pray for the conductor of the train. He unexpectedly became part of a tragedy that he never anticipated. God, we have no idea what thoughts are going through his mind, but would you give him peace? Would you keep him from assuming shame and blame that are not his. Would you keep him from depression and despair that would be so easy to fall into right now. Would you comfort his family as well? And if he doesn’t know you, Lord, would you use this event to draw him to yourself. There’s nothing Cam would love more, than to have another brother to welcome to the family.

God thank you for the very breath that we use to pray to you. We don’t deserve a single one, yet you have sustained us even now.

In our mourning, even when we can’t form the words to cry out, you intercede for us in groans that we can’t even understand.

God we know that just as Jesus has put to death spiritual death, so He will conquer physical death. It is the last enemy, and one day Jesus will utterly destroy physical death once and for all. You will give us renewed and resurrected bodies and we will live in perfect love and satisfaction in your presence forever. Those of us here tonight who have never met Cameron will have the incredible pleasure of meeting him one day. Even those of us who knew him this side of glory will get to meet him as if we’ve never met him before. Why? Because just like Moses, Cameron’s face will shine with the light of glory as one who has been in the presence of God. And so our faces will shine too. Even still, it can be hard to trust you in times like this. God, you know and have numbered each and everyone of our tears and will wipe them away one by one until the day that tears are no more. Help comfort us in the fact that you hear each and every one of our cries for help and desperation, each and every one of our laments, and you will never leave our side. Be with Cameron’s friends and family in this tough time and let your name and your fame be proclaimed even when it’s hard for us to see how that could be possible right now. We often say things like, “We lost a good one today.” While in one sense that’s true, in another sense it’s not. Someone can only be lost when you don’t know where they are. We know exactly where Cam is and it’s exactly where we all want to be: gazing upon you in your beauty. Be with the hurting and fill us with hope even when it seems hopeless. We love you, God. Amen.