Loving the Unloveable

Prayer

God, You are holy, and righteous and glorious and beautiful. We come before you tonight as unworthy sinners undeserving of the very breath we breathe in this moment. Yet despite our unworthiness, you showed us infinite love in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us. Help us to meditate on your Word tonight and reflect on that glorious truth of your love. Help us live as Jesus lived and love as Jesus loved. Thank you for sending Jesus to be our Savior. It’s in His beautiful and holy name we pray…Amen.

Question (Icebreaker): Biggest Pet Peeve

Friend who paused live sporting games at really intense moments

Introduction

Tonight, we are continuing on in our series in the letter of James. This evening we’ll be in James chapter 2 verses 1-13, James 2:1-13. If you have your bibles with you, turn or tap with me there.

As you turn there, let me remind you a little bit of context that will prove helpful. James is writing to a group of predominantly poor Christians with a few rich exceptions. These Christians are trying to learn how to live and minister and do church in the context of poverty and great persecution. James is writing to them help encourage them and correct them to help push them on in the faith and its practice.

With that in mind, let’s see what James has to say. Look with me at James chapter 2 starting in verse 1.

James 2:1-13

“My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory. For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, “You sit here in a good place,” while you say to the poor man, “You stand over there,” or, “Sit down at my feet,” have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my beloved brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him? But you have dishonored the poor man. Are not the rich the ones who oppress you, and the ones who drag you into court? Are they not the ones who blaspheme the honorable name by which you were called? If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing well. But if you show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors. For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become guilty of all of it. For he who said, “Do not commit adultery,” also said, “Do not murder.” If you do not commit adultery but do murder, you have become a transgressor of the law. So speak and so act as those who are to be judged under the law of liberty. For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.”

Explanation/Show No Partiality

If we were going to summarize all that’s happening in this passage we could say this: the audience James is writing to is falling into the sin of partiality by catering specially to the rich people in their midst. And you can understand why they’re doing it. Most of them are incredibly poor and their churches have little or no money. Even just rich individual could help the church significantly in its funding. It’s worth remembering at this point that there was no middle class in this society. These Jewish Christians lived in a society where you were either incredibly rich or probably fairly poor. These was no in between like we have here in the States today. So rich individuals like in our culture but even more so we exalted and lifted up because of their wealth. Wealth brought great social status. So we can understand their temptation for wanting to cater to the rich in their midst. But James is urging them not to so cater to and show partiality to the rich that to causes them to neglect the poor. It’s easy to love the rich because there could be great personal gain to be had with them. It’s much harder to love the poor for this audience because there is little to nothing to be gained. And despite all of the justifications James’ audience might have put forward for showing partiality to the rich over the poor, no matter how spiritual they made it sound, they would be missing the very point of what James had said in the passage directly preceding ours tonight.

James 1:27 says:

"Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world."

Widows, orphans, and the poor were the neediest people in James’ day. They required the most help and aid. And putting in the hard work provided little or no personal gain over against the opportunities that might arise being around a rich person. In essence, widows, orphans, and the poor, by many standards, were the most unlovable people in that day. They were the hardest to love. And yet James is calling for his Christian audience to press in and love the very people that are hardest to love. In fact, as we’ll see, I believe he is calling for them to turn their whole view and calculus of influence upside down. And I believe he is calling for us to do the same.

While loving widows, orphans, and the poor was hard then, and I imagine is still hard for many of us now, I don’t believe that’s the only application of James’ message. I believe that James is calling for all Christians, including us today, to strive to love those we struggle most to love.

If we could sum up James’ message in this passage and the logic behind it, we could say it like this:

We are called to love those who seem unlovable because Jesus loved the unlovable in us.

That idea sums up everything James is saying and everything we’ll be talking about tonight. But before we can truly understand how to live out that truth, we have to be able to identify the people we struggle most to love and the people we are most tempted to favor to the neglect of those who are hard to love.

Who is the rich man in your life? Who is the poor man in your life? We have to be able to identify those things so we can actually apply this. For some of you it may be the case that you find it hardest to love the poor and the homeless because you’re used to being raised in an upper-middle class family. But for others, maybe you struggle to love people who have vastly different political beliefs than you do. Or maybe there are family members you struggle to love. And maybe you gravitate most towards a group of friends or particular groups of people that will get you the most influence or gain to the neglect of those who are harder to love. Who is that for you? Who is the rich man and the poor man in your life?

Group Question 2:

In your groups talk about two things: who are the people you find it hardest to love? And who are the people you find yourself favoring most to the neglect of those who are hard to love? Obviously, be wise and sensitive in your answers, but be honest so we can identify those groups and begin to apply James’ message.

Pure vs. Defiled Religion

James, and his half-brother Jesus, are calling us not just to love those who are easy to love, but to love everyone! James is just showing us a principle of the two greatest commands that Jesus lays out in Matthew 22 when he says, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”

Notice that Jesus didn’t say, “You shall love those who are easy to love.” No, he said, you shall love your neighbor as yourself. In other words, we are called to love everyone for God’s sake!

And this is vital because while we might agree with that truth intellectually, in our heart of hearts we are tempted to narrow the field. We may say, “That’s fine. I get that I’m supposed to love my neighbor, Jesus. But Jesus, who really is my neighbor?”

We’re not the first ones to ask this question. During Jesus’ ministry, Luke 10 tells us about an interaction he had with a lawyer. Catch this:

"And behold, a lawyer stood up to put him to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” He said to him, “What is written in the Law? How do you read it?” And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” And he said to him, “You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live.” But he, desiring to justify himself, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

While wrestling with the same ideas about the law that we are tonight, the lawyer tried to narrow the field of who his neighbor really was. It’s easy to love your neighbor is that just means loving those you like. But that’s not what Jesus is saying.

Do you know how Jesus responded to the lawyer’s question about his neighbor? He responded with the story of the Good Samaritan. Luke tells us:

Jesus replied, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead. Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion. He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him. And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, ‘Take care of him, and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.’ Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?” He said, “The one who showed him mercy.” And Jesus said to him, “You go, and do likewise.”

So here is this priest and Levite who pass by hurting man for many reasons, one of which being because he would have been deemed ceremonially unclean because of his injuries. And yet here is a Samaritan who stops to help the man. Jews hated the Samaritans and yet it was the Samaritan who cared for the man. The Samaritan saw everyone as his neighbor while the very Jewish men who were said to be holy neglected this truth from God.

As a brief aside, I think there’s a beautiful picture of the way many Christians live today. We get in our holy huddle and scoff at and reject non-Christian neighbors to the neglect of many who need help. We the culture of non-Christians and yet there are plenty of times when it is non-Christians who do a better job of loving the unlovable than we do. May that never be said of us. We, the people who claim to follow the holy God of the universe, should be the first to jump to the aid of the unlovable and those in need.

Back to the point though: think about the significance of Jesus’s answer to the lawyer! While the lawyer is trying to narrow the field of who his neighbor really is, Jesus is broadening it. Jesus is saying that we should view every as our neighbor. We should love everyone, no matter how unlovable they may feel to us.

To restate our thesis: We are called to love those who seem unlovable because Jesus loved the unlovable in us.

When we make justifications for not loving those who we struggle to love, we are no better than the lawyer or the priest and the Levite.

I think it’s key that all of this that we see that the lawyer, the priest, and the Levite would have had seemingly clear and spiritual reasons for why they didn’t care for the beaten man. They could have thrown out a justification that would have seemed acceptable to our ears on first listen, but they would have been sinfully wrong.

You and I could surely do the same thing. We can easily justify why we don’t love those who we struggle to love.

You might say, “I’m only going to hang out with my Christian friends because they encourage me and I’m afraid of the influence I might come under around my non-Christian friends. I know I could share the Gospel with them, but I need to be careful.”

The Pharisees said the same thing about the prostitutes and tax collectors. Yet Jesus dined with the prostitutes and tax collectors.

You might say, “I’m not going to talk with those people of different political beliefs than me because there’s just no way to reason with them. There’s no way we could ever really have a conversation. Plus, can you believe what they believe? I need to be careful who I associate with.”

That’s no different than what the Pharisees would have said about many groups, yet Jesus cared for and ministered in the presence of many people he didn’t agree with.

You might say, “I know I could visit or call my grandma with Alzheimer’s, but I’m feeling stressed with work and she won’t even remember the conversation. Wouldn’t it be better for me to just come home and relax after a long day at work? I’m sure someone else in the family will call her.”

That’s basically just what the Levite and the priest said about the beaten man. Surely someone else will help the man. I need to keep moving.

We could go on and on with examples, but you get the point. We cannot fall into the trap of trying to justify our lack of love for those we struggle to love.

So what are your justifications? When you think of the people you struggle to love, what reason do you give?

Group Question 3:

Talk about that in your groups? What justifications do you typically give for not loving those who said you struggle to love. Let’s identify those reason so we can continue to apply what we’re learning tonight.

When we continually make justifications for not loving those who are hard to love, especially over time, we forget we are doing it. By doing so, we end up permanently neglecting whole groups of people as if they weren’t our neighbors. And when we do that over the long haul, we may feel holy and righteous and like good Christians, but in fact Jesus has far different words for us. Notice what he says in Matthew 25 to people who neglect those they struggle to love. He says,

“‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ Then they also will answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?’ Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’ And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”

The people he was speaking to surely could have given justifications for their lack of love, but in fact, their justifications were just providing Satan arguments against them on Judgement Day.

And our justifications do the same.

Homeless Man Story

Just yesterday, I got to see all of these principles in action. Wednesdays are usually sermon prep days for me and many times I will do some of my prep off campus, usually at Panera with my free unlimited coffee (Ha!) But yesterday I felt this push to prepare my sermon at the church after lunch. I knew it would be good for me to be around to help with anything that might come up at the church. So I head up to the church. I park, get out of my car, and walk up to the building. As I’m about to enter the building a homeless man in rough shape wandered up. The usual protocol with this is for us to connect people in need with the pastor on call that week, which isn’t me this week. But if I’m honest, that wasn’t my first thought. Even though I typically enjoy helping folks in need out, yesterday, my first thought was that I didn’t feel like dealing with this situation. I felt behind on my sermon, it was really hot outside and because walk ups can’t enter the building without an appointment because of COVID concerns, I knew we would have to talk out in the heat. I had a meeting that afternoon and I didn’t want to be super sweaty and smelly for it. I had justification after justification for why I didn’t want to extend love to this man. My motives were shameful. I wasn’t willing to love the seemingly unlovable in my midst and I was internally coming up with every justification I could. When he asked for help I told him I would run inside the church quickly and get the pastor on call so we could get him taken care of. Really, I was just trying to pass of loving someone because I didn’t want to. I was clearly feeling an internal pull from the Lord to help the guy but I was trying my hardest to ignore it. When I got inside the church, the pastor on call for this week was unavailable in a meeting. I wanted any way out of the task ahead of me and then it hit me. I had been studying tonight’s passage in depth all day and yet I wasn’t willing to live it out. What I was doing was the equivalent of Jesus not helping the poor and needy right in front of him because he wanted a little longer to prepare for the Sermon on the Mount. It was laughable and gross. This was clearly a divine appointment and I need to attend. I grabbed some water and snacks for the man and went back outside to talk to him. It turned out that he had just gotten out of prison and was looking for a fresh start. Because of COVID regulations, no one would talk with him or approach and he felt totally unlovable. Our conversation was the first time he had said he’d felt cared for in ages. He cried several times throughout the talk because of how good it felt to finally be recognized and affirmed. We both walked away from that conversation blessed. He walked away feeling cared for and with direction to back on his feet, and I walked away reminded of the beauty and vitality of loving those I find hard to love. I walked away convicted and encouraged. God knew I needed it.

As I reflected on that experience today, it struck me how little mercy I had in that situation. And yet, at the end of the Good Samaritan story, it is mercy that Jesus says we need to have. Jesus told the lawyer that if he wanted to be a good neighbor to his neighbors, if he wanted to live out the law by loving God and his neighbors, he needed to show mercy. By implication, of laying out the two great commandment and calling for mercy, Jesus was inferring that in order for us to love God we must love our neighbors and show mercy to them. We can say we love God all we want, but if we lack mercy, if we don’t love the unlovable around us then we can’t really claim to love God. If we don’t love the unlovable people made in the image of God, how can we can we claim to love God Himself?

We must show mercy. Yet we mustn’t fall into the same temptation of lacking love when it comes to our mercy. One way we can do this is by be quicker to show mercy to sins others that we also struggle with. For example, if we struggle with gossip or pornography, we often find it easier to to forgive and show mercy to those who struggle with gossip and pornography. But that’s just showing partiality in our judgement! That’s breaking the very principle James tells us not to break! We shouldn’t cast out people just because they struggle with different sins than we do. Then we’re no different than the Pharisees who cast out prostitutes and tax collectors while they swelled with sinful arrogance. Just because out sins are more socially acceptable and less obvious doesn’t make them less sinful. Even the smallest of sins is worthy of an eternity in hell, so why should we act like we have the holy high ground when someone struggles with different sins than we do?

That’s what James is getting at in verses 10 and 11 when he says:

“For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become guilty of all of it. For he who said, “Do not commit adultery,” also said, “Do not murder.” If you do not commit adultery but do murder, you have become a transgressor of the law.”

We are called to show mercy. That’s how we can love those who we struggle to love.

James is so serious about the importance of mercy that he goes on to say in verse 13 that if we refuse to show mercy, we ourselves will not receive mercy from God in the end.

Mercy Triumphs Over Judgment

Judgement does not triumph over. James tells us at the end of our passage that it is only mercy that triumphs over judgement. We see this in Jesus’ words in Matthew 25, just before the passage we read a little earlier:

“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. And he will place the sheep on his right, but the goats on the left. Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’”

Notice, it is the people who show mercy that that will rule and reign with Jesus forever. It is not the people who serve only their desires and neglect those hardest to love around them who will rule and reign. It may be the wisdom of the world to stop at nothing to pursue our feelings and goals to the neglect of those around us, but that’s not God’s way. Jesus is calling for us to overturn our kingdom calculus.

Have you ever noticed that Jesus spent most of his time with the people deemed as unlovable? He spent tons of time around the sick and the poor and the needy; not the rich and famous. Yet today, many Christians bend over backwards to impress famous and influential people today, whether politicians, or celebrities, or athletes because of their fame and power and the benefits they might provide them. Yet, this fame and power is temporary and transient. Instead, many of the very people we often neglect, the very people society deems unlovable, will be the ones ruling and reigning with Jesus in eternity.

If we want to follow the Jesus way, we need to turn our kingdom calculus upside down. We must show mercy to those who struggle to love.

Jesus Example

We’ve talked a lot tonight about how it can be hard to love others, but in reality, some of you here tonight may feel unlovable yourselves. Some of you might feel totally worthless and alone. You may feel like no one sees you as worthy of love, but that’s not true of Jesus. He loves you with an infinite and passionate and furious and beautiful heart of mercy. He lives out tonight's principles better than anyone else. Jesus was in perfect peace and glory and honor with His Father in Heaven. There was no more exalted or loveable status that what Jesus had in heaven and yet catch what the Bible says Jesus did to love all of us: "Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."

Jesus stooped down to love us who are seemingly unlovable to that we could experience the perfect and eternal love of God forever. Romans 5:8 tells us that, “God showed his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Jesus showed us exactly what it means that mercy triumphs over judgement. He took on the punishment we deserved for the sin that made us so unlovable and He paid the price so we could experience a perfect and eternal loving relationship with the God of the universe. No matter how unlovable we might feel, we can know that the God of the universe gave it all to show us mercy and show us His very infinite and eternal love for us. That news changes everything. That news is a breath of fresh air. That news frees us to do the very principle we’ve talked about tonight; it frees us to love those who seem unlovable because Jesus loved the unlovable in us.

Group Prayer

I want us to close tonight by praying together in our groups for God’s help to love those we struggle to love. Take time to ask for God’s aid. Ask God to show you practical and immediate ways you can love those you struggle to love. And then close praying that God would help us embrace the love god has shown us despite how unlovable we might feel. Go around and have everyone in your group pray and then I will close us out in prayer.