Sexual Identity Part 1

Introduction

Whats going on NXT! Thank you SO MUCH for being here tonight. I think the Lord has a really really important message for us tonight as we continue into week #2 of Sexuality & Jesus. Tonight, we’re going to be starting a two part message about Sexual Identity.

To get right to the point, let me tell you what our big idea for the night is- Sin in sexual identity happens when we minimize our identity to our sexual desires and act on something other than God’s best for us.

Now, that is a loaded idea and I’m going to unpack it for you. But before I do, I want you to give me some grace. Why is this important? If you’ve been coming on Sundays (which you should!) then you’ve heard Pastor Troy hammer in this truth- Its okay to disagree! And I want to reiterate that. If you disagree with me, that is okay. Here’s what isn’t okay: Calling into question my faithfulness to the Gospel because of your disagreement.

I’m saying this because undoubtably there will be people in this room that are uncomfortable with the conversation we’re going to have tonight. Undoubtably there are going to be people in this room that love what i’m about to say. But also, undoubtably we are all on the same team. And thats what matters.

Now, like I said last week. I want to assure you of something: I am going to be teaching from scripture tonight. We believe this is God’s word, and I also believe God’s word has some stuff to say about sexuality. So, I’m going to use God’s word and God’s word only to teach tonight. Now, I’m also going to say that what you’re going to hear tonight you may have never heard before- and it may sound different than what you’ve heard. So lets dive in, we’re going to read from 1 Timothy 1:3-11

1 Timothy 1:3–11 ESV

As I urged you when I was going to Macedonia, remain at Ephesus so that you may charge certain persons not to teach any different doctrine, nor to devote themselves to myths and endless genealogies, which promote speculations rather than the stewardship from God that is by faith. The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. Certain persons, by swerving from these, have wandered away into vain discussion, desiring to be teachers of the law, without understanding either what they are saying or the things about which they make confident assertions. Now we know that the law is good, if one uses it lawfully, understanding this, that the law is not laid down for the just but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who strike their fathers and mothers, for murderers, the sexually immoral, men who practice homosexuality, enslavers, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine, in accordance with the gospel of the glory of the blessed God with which I have been entrusted.

Content

So, I want to take just a few moments to ask the question: What did you observe? This is an important practice in reading scripture, especially as it pertains to things as controversial and complex as sexuality (particularly homosexuality). In a few moments of silence, go over those verses. What do you notice?

The first thing I observe is that homosexuality isn’t the main point of the passage. The main point is the law- and “homosexuality” is listed as one of many sins that stands in contrary to the law.

Its an important observation to make because many folks think that homosexuality is this primary topic and talked about theme in scripture…but it isn’t. Sexual immorality & adultery are certainly highlighted, but homosexuality as a standalone topic not so much. Now, thats not to say it isn’t important. In fact, it is. Its very very important for us to talk about and us to search scripture to see what Jesus is saying to us about it. Now, let me tell you what we’re going to do tonight.

We’re going to split this message tonight into two parts, i’m not talking about how we’re literally doing 2 parts on sexual identity. I’m talking about how I’m going to frame tonights message in two ways: First, we’re going to talk about what the Bible actually says about homosexuality. This is going to take up most of our time. And then, we’re going to talk about the error of secular culture & Christian culture and how it views identity.

Let me start by saying this: We have got to stop seeing the big question as “is being gay bad?” instead, we have to ask ourselves “is my identity in Christ?” because we will find 100% of the time that putting our identity in Christ is the right thing to do 100% of the time.

So, lets dig in. What does the Bible actually say about homosexuality?

First, we see in scripture that the “sin” of sexual sin as it pertains to homosexuality is always a verb in scripture.

One scholar says this,

When examining what the Bible says about homosexuality, it is important to distinguish between homosexual behavior and homosexual inclinations or attractions. It is the difference between active sin and the passive condition of being tempted. Homosexual behavior is sinful, but the Bible never says it is a sin to be tempted. Simply stated, a struggle with temptation may lead to sin, but the struggle itself is not a sin.

The Bible condemns homosexual actions but it does not condemn homosexual attraction. To put it plainly, the sin of homosexuality in scripture is homosexual sex, not homosexual attraction. Now, stay with me because I’m going to come back in a few minutes and talk about homosexual attraction.

The greek word used in the 1 Timothy thats translated as homosexuality is arsenokoites. Its the combination of two other greek words, Arsen and Koite. We first find these two words used together in Leviticus 18:22

Leviticus 18:22 ESV

You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination.

A more accurate (though wouldn’t make as much sense in our language) translation of this verse is this, “You shall not bed with a male as with a women; it is an abomination”

We see those same two words here, You shall not koite with a arsen as with a female

Koite means bed, and arsen means man.

An important thing to note is that this word that Paul uses, Arsenokoites, is a brand new word. He made it up. And he made it up by combining two words used in Leviticus. Now, this is important because it answers the question why is Leviticus still important? Because, as Paul shows us here, not everything in the law needs to be “thrown out” like some Christians might say.

What Paul is writing in 1 Timothy 1 is this, “Now we know that the law is good, if one uses it lawfully, 9 understanding this, that the law is not laid down for the just but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who strike their fathers and mothers, for murderers, 10 the sexually immoral, men who practice man-bedding, enslavers, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine, 11 in accordance with the gospel of the glory of the blessed God with which I have been entrusted”

Arsenokoites is a verb. It literally means men who have sex with men. It DOES NOT mean men who are attracted to men. In fact, attraction in the ancient world is VASTLY different than it is in our world. Want to know what the sexiest most scandalous thing a women could do back in Jesus’ day? Show her long hair. So much so that it was considered “slutty” for women to let their hair down. Attraction in 2021 is wildly different than it was in 33(ish) A.D.

So, what we see in scripture is that the sin of homosexuality is having gay sex. To put it in other words: Same sex attracted people aren’t guilty of “homosexual lust” they’re guilty of lust. Homosexual isn’t a category that makes sin “extra bad.”

This is important because it informs how we love gay people. They aren’t people that we “pray the gay away” they are people to be loved. Just like you and me. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have had friends who have come out to me and we together have prayed for them to have their attraction changed and the Lord actually did. But, I also know of people who have spent literally 6-8 hours a day for a year praying for their homosexual attraction to be taken from them and after a year and after 2,500+ hours of prayer they are still same sex attracted. I hope you are able to see the problem with how we have viewed this issue…same sex attracted people aren’t people to be changed and people to be converted to straightness, they’re people to be loved.

Now, its important to note what I said earlier: The sin of homosexuality is homosexual sex, not homosexual attraction. But, that doesn’t mean homosexual attraction is God’s ideal for men or women either. Because the fact of the matter is this: We see in Genesis 2 that God made men for women and women for men. Biologically it makes sense based off of the biological makeup of male and female. It is clear in scripture that women were created to compliment men and men to compliment women. Thus, the basic structure of how God created is contradicted in homosexual attraction. But, it also isn’t as simple as “well then stop being gay!” my hope is that you’re smart enough to be able to see why that doesn’t work. In a moment of humility, take a few seconds and try and remember when you decided to be straight. Do you remember consciously choosing to be attracted to the opposite gender? Probably not. The same goes for most same sex attracted people. Now, that isn’t to say circumstances can’t affect this. This isn’t to say that trauma can’t play a role, or nurture can’t play a role. But it seems, it is more about nature than it is about how you were nurtured.

Let me say this clearly- God’s intent in creation was not for people to be same sex attracted. But because of the fall, like all other affects that go against God’s intention, homosexual attraction exists.

So, is being same sex attracted a sin? No…but it is a result of sin.

The sin of homosexuality is having homosexual sex.

There are a lot of questions that this brings up…thats what small group time is for but also what our Q&A at the end of this series is for. So go to grace.church/nxtquestion to submit a question! We’d love to answer it, or at least try to.

So, why is this important?

What we are seeing in culture today is an identity war. People are placing their identity in so many different things. Their identity is in their gender, their sexual orientation, the sport they play, the person their dating, the grades they get, fill in the blank! But, Identity in anything other than Jesus is too small.

People who base the entirety of their identity on who they are or are not attracted to (or any other single aspect of their lives) dramatically minimize the fullness of what God offers us in Christ. Lets go to 1 Corinthians 6:9-11

1 Corinthians 6:9–11 ESV

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

No matter our proclivities or attractions, we cannot continue to define ourselves by the very sins that crucified Jesus—and at the same time assume we are right with God. Paul lists many of the sins that the Corinthians once practiced (homosexuality is on the list). But in 1 Corinthians 6:11, he reminds them, “That is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” In other words, some of the Corinthians, before they were saved, lived homosexual lifestyles; but no sin is too great for the cleansing power of Jesus. Once cleansed, we are no longer defined by sin.

You, if you are a Christian, can be defined by nothing more than the sacrifice that Christ has made for you on the cross.

Thus, to define yourself as gay if you have same sex attraction, is to minimize who God created you to be.

Conclusion

The whole point of 1 Corinthians 6 and 1 Timothy 1 is to level the playing field and bring us to our knees at the foot of the cross and say ‘God, we are ALL in need of your grace equally.

So let me say this…if you are in this room and you are gay. In the closet or out of the closet. I want to make one thing abundantly clear: I LOVE YOU. And, NXT loves you, too. If at any point you do not feel welcome or loved here I want you to come directly to me. Come and find me after this, let me give you my number. I am on your team, and I am on your side. BUT! That does not mean I am going to withhold the truth from you. But let me say this to everyone else, I’m not going to withhold the truth from you, either. Because here is the reality, the Church has hurt gay people for way too long by refusing to love them. I will not put up with hatefulness, I refuse to be a ministry that isn’t known for our love. So if you are gay, I love you. If you are not, I hope by now you understand that gay people are people to be loved. And they need love because we have failed at giving it to them.

Man, what a shame it would be if we got to heaven and the Lord showed us that the people he called us to love were never loved by us just because of who they are attracted to…we’re better than that, Church.

So, if you walk out of here tonight with two things I hope its this:

The “sin” part of homosexuality is the verb. Its homosexual sex, not homosexual attraction.

Identity in anything other than Jesus is too small. People who base the entirety of their identity on who they are or are not attracted to dramatically minimize the fullness of what God offers us in Christ!

Lets shift our identity from ourself to Jesus.