How do I RELATE to others?

This week we're going to see how the Bible can help us in our relationships.

I read a story about a man from Berlin who was using an old air raid siren to try and get his wife to stop talking.

"My wife never lets me get a word in edgeways," the man told the police.

"So I crank up the siren and let it rip for a few minutes. It works every time. Afterward, it's real quiet again."

As for his wife of 32 years, she said, "My husband is a stubborn mule, so I have to get loud."

I highly doubt that they will last as a long as this next couple.

According to the Guiness Book of World Records, the record for the longest marriage belongs to Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher of James City, NC.

The couple were married for 86 years before Mr. Fisher passed away in 2011.

When asked what the secret was to their longevity, Mrs. Fisher dismissed the idea by saying, “There isn’t any secret. It was only God that kept us together.”

She also described her philosophy of relating to others by saying, “[You have to] know how to talk to people,” she says. “Try to treat everyone right.”

RESPECT THEM FOR WHO THEY ARE

The Bible teaches us that if we begin treating others the way we want them to treat us, we will be fulfilling God's law.

"Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets." –

Matthew 7:12

(NLT)

Notice, it doesn’t say, “Do to others what they have done to you.”

“GOLDEN RULE”

In today’s society, I wouldn’t really call it the “Golden Rule.”

It’s more like the “Gold Plated Rule.”

“Someone rubs us the wrong way and the gold comes right off.”

We’re quick to invoke the “Eye for an eye” verse of Scripture, but forget the one about “turning the other cheek.”

I’ll argue that no one in history has ever been more disrespected than Jesus.

I'll also argue that one in history has ever been more RESPECTFUL than Jesus, especially to those who weren’t given any respect at the time.

He went out of His way to show love and respect to prostitutes, tax collectors, lepers, the poor, and others that society had rejected.

And by showing them His respect, He was able to gain theirs in return.

He was able to build healthy relationships because He would:

ENGAGE THEIR MIND AND HEART

This means speaking to others in a way that lets them know that you value them.

We can usually sense when someone is fake, so we should always keep it real and sincere in our motives for establishing relationships with others.

We can easily do away with any preconceived notions or bias we may have of others with a simple conversation.

Think back to the story of the woman at the well.

Soon a Samaritan woman came to draw water, and Jesus said to her, "Please give me a drink."

"The woman was surprised, for Jews refuse to have anything to do with Samaritans.”

She said to Jesus, "You are a Jew, and I am a Samaritan woman. Why are you asking me for a drink?"

Jesus replied, "If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water." – John 4:7-10 (NLT)

Like Jesus, we should want everyone to know that we care about them, and we do that by engaging their minds and hearts.

Another way Jesus teaches us how to grow in our relationships with others is:

LOVE THEM UNCONDITIONALLY

To love unconditionally means that my love for a person will remain no matter what they do, what they say, or whether they agree with me or not.

Love unconditionally does not mean I have to approve of everything the other person does or says…just that my love for them will not waver.

For instance, you might have a child who does something that you do not approve of – you might have to discipline them for what they have done, but it does not affect the level of love you have for them.

We’re ALL Somebody’s kid.

That Somebody offered His Son as a gift of love to us...not because we earned it...not because we were living lives that He approved of...but because He wanted to show us what it means to truly love someone unconditionally…there are NO LIMITS.

God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. – Romans 5:8 (NLT)

"While we were still sinners."

God didn't wait for you to get your act together – He didn't lay down any requirements whatsoever before He offered you His love.

He gives His love to those who hate Him, to those who mock Him, to those who lead others away from Him – God offers His love without condition.

It's easy to love other people when they love us back, but it is quite another thing to love those who are unlovable.

"If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them!" – Luke 6:32 (NLT)

What God is asking us to do is to love those that despise us...the ones who gossip about us...to love those who may or may not love us back.

Piece of cake, right?

No...But it is necessary if we are going to build godly relationships.

APPROACH GOD ON THEIR BEHALF

I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. – 1 Timothy 2:1 (NLT)

In Christian Parenting Today, Elisa Morgan told this story about her daughter:

One night my 11-year-old daughter Eva noticed I was distracted as I tucked her into bed.

I told her about a friend's teenage daughter whose hair was mysteriously falling out, and I encouraged Eva to pray for Amy.

Her simple words, "Jesus, please hold Amy's hair on her head," touched me.

As the doctors experimented with different treatments, Amy continued to lose her hair – Eva continued to pray the same prayer.

After six weeks, the doctors determined Amy had a sporadic disorder where hair loss is unpredictable but can be complete and permanent.

When I told Eva, she took my hand and closed her eyes.

This time her prayer was different.

"Dear Jesus, if you won't hold Amy's hair on her head, would you please hold Amy?"

Tearfully, I realized how sometimes God doesn't move mountains; he carries us.

There is nothing that makes a person feel better than knowing that you are praying on their behalf.

We pray for others because we care about them.

I pray everyday for my family and that includes my church family.

If we’re not praying for one another, then can we really say that we care about each other?

TAKE WHATEVER TIME IS NECESSARY

We read about a group of parents in Matthew, who bring their children to Jesus to pray for them.

The disciples said, "Don't bother Him," but they were overruled by Jesus Who invited the children to come.

There are stories like that all throughout the NT about Jesus.

He was willing to spend the time necessary to minister to others.

Pause

Are we giving enough time for our family, friends, and fellow church members to build healthy relationships with them?

I know of married couples that complain because they've grown apart – they say they don't know each other anymore – they also spend only about an hour a week together, if that.

The same could be said concerning the time we spend with our kids.

When someone is important to us, we are willing to spend whatever time is necessary to build a relationship with them.

When we are not willing to spend the time required, they recognize that they are not a priority in our life.

How do we know if we’re spending enough time?

A better question we need to ask ourselves is, “How much is enough?”

“How much time do any of us really have?”

The promise of tomorrow is not always in the cards, but we’ve got a hand to play today.

“Are you gonna hold’em...fold’em…or are you gonna go ALL IN.”

“I wonder what Jesus would do?”

The last and perhaps the most important thing that we can do in healthy relationships is:

ENCOURAGE THEM TO RELATE TO OTHERS

“All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives.”

“It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right.”

“God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.” – 2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NLT)

The Bible is not just here to teach us doctrine, theology or church history, – it is here to prepare us in every aspect of life.

We need to teach what it has to say to other people – and what is the best way we can do that?

By practicing what we preach…by living the way it has taught us.

We need to pray for and encourage each other to continue to build the kinds of relationships that bring honor and glory to God.

Conclusion:

And what are the steps again?

Respect them for who they are.

Engage their mind and heart.

Love them unconditionally.

Approach God on their behalf.

Take whatever time is necessary.

Encourage them to relate to others.

If we follow Christ’s example and implement these steps into all of our relationships, we will begin to come together in ways that we can’t even imagine…just like we were always meant to.