What is agape love

What is agape love?"

The Greek word agape is often translated “love” in the New Testament. How is “agape love” different from other types of love? The essence of agape love is goodwill, benevolence, and willful delight in the object of love. Unlike our English word love, agape is not used in the New Testament to refer to romantic or sexual love. Nor does it refer to close friendship or brotherly love, for which the Greek word philia is used. Agape love involves faithfulness, commitment, and an act of the will. It is distinguished from the other types of love by its lofty moral nature and strong character. Agape love is beautifully described in 1 Corinthians 13.

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Outside of the New Testament, the word agape is used in a variety of contexts, but in the vast majority of instances in the New Testament it carries distinct meaning. Agape is almost always used to describe the love that is of and from God, whose very nature is love itself: “God is love” (1 John 4:8). God does not merely love; He is love itself. Everything God does flows from His love. Agape is also used to describe our love for God (Luke 10:27), a servant’s faithful respect to his master (Matthew 6:24), and a man’s attachment to things (John 3:19).

The type of love that characterizes God is not a sappy, sentimental feeling such as we often hear portrayed. God loves because that is His nature and the expression of His being. He loves the unlovable and the unlovely, not because we deserve to be loved or because of any excellence we possess, but because it is His nature to love and He must be true to His nature.

Agape love is always shown by what it does. God’s love is displayed most clearly at the cross. “God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved” (Ephesians 2:4–5, ESV). We did not deserve such a sacrifice, “but God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). God’s agape love is unmerited, gracious, and constantly seeking the benefit of the ones He loves. The Bible says we are the undeserving recipients of His lavish agape love (1 John 3:1). God’s demonstration of agape love led to the sacrifice of the Son of God for those He loves.

We are to love others with agape love, whether they are fellow believers (John 13:34) or bitter enemies (Matthew 5:44). Jesus gave the parable of the Good Samaritan as an example of sacrifice for the sake of others, even for those who may care nothing at all for us. Agape love as modeled by Christ is not based on a feeling; rather, it is a determined act of the will, a joyful resolve to put the welfare of others above our own.

Agape love does not come naturally to us. Because of our fallen nature, we are incapable of producing such a love. If we are to love as God loves, that love—that agape—can only come from its Source. This is the love that “has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us” when we became His children (Romans 5:5; cf. Galatians 5:22). “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters” (1 John 3:16). Because of God’s love toward us, we are able to love one another.

What is love? What is the definition of love?"

Answer: Love can be a challenge to define at the level of how a person experiences it. Love can involve personal affection, sexual attraction, platonic admiration, brotherly loyalty, benevolent concern, or worshipful adoration. To accurately answer the question “what is love?” we need to go to the origin of love. The Bible tells us that love originates in God.

In the English language, the word love is forced to bear the burden of a multitude of meanings. We “love” everything from pancakes to parents, but in vastly different ways. The languages in which the Bible was written, Hebrew and Greek, are more precise in that they utilize different words for the different types of love. The ancient languages differentiate among sexual, brotherly, and familial love, and also the kind of love that God has for creation and that we may have for Him.

The Hebrew word yada and the Greek word eros are the words used to indicate sexual love. In Genesis 38 Judah makes love with a woman he assumes is a prostitute. In the original Hebrew of verse 26, the word is yada, meaning “to know” and in this context “to know carnally” or “to have sexual intercourse with.” In the New Testament, the Greek word eros is not found because there is no context in which it might be used.

The second type of love is the brotherly love that exists between close friends regardless of gender. There is no sexual connotation; it is the love for and by a friend. The Hebrew word is ahabah, and it is used to describe the love between David and Jonathan in 1 Samuel 20:17. The Greek word for brotherly love or affection is phileo, as used to refer to friendship in John 15:19, Romans 12:10, and Hebrews 13:1.

Of family or tribal love, the Hebrew word is once again ahabah, indicating a deep affection, and the Greek word is storge. We find ahabah throughout the Old Testament because of its broad range of meanings, but the Greek word storge is only found in the New Testament as a part of a compound word (e.g., it’s combined with phileo in 2 Timothy 3:3).

Finally, there is the Hebrew word chesed and the Greek word agape, which are used to express the kind of love God demonstrates toward His elect. Chesed is often translated as “steadfast love” or “lovingkindness.” A good example of chesed is found in Numbers 14:18, “The Lord is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, forgiving iniquity and transgression” (Numbers 14:18, ESV). God’s chesed love is why He never gives up on those He has adopted as His children. Throughout the Old Testament, God’s people repeatedly fell into idolatry and sin, yet He always preserved a remnant; He never gives up on His people. The reason is His chesed love.

A similar idea is found in the New Testament with the Greek word agape. Agape love is the goodwill and benevolence of God shown in self-sacrifice and an unconditional commitment to loved one. Agape is similar to chesed in that it is steadfast, regardless of circumstances. Agape love is the kind of love we are to have for God in fulfillment of the greatest commandment (Matthew 22:37). Jesus wants to instill agape in His followers as we serve others through the power of the Holy Spirit (Matthew 22:39; John 13:34).

In the most basic sense, love is the emotion felt and actions performed by someone concerned for the well-being of another person. Love involves affection, compassion, care, and self-sacrifice. Love originates in the Triune Godhead, within the eternal relationship that exists among the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit (1 John 4:7–8). Loving is unique to the human experience of being an image-bearer of God. A pet owner may love her dog; she is concerned for its well-being and cares for it. On the other hand, her dog doesn’t truly love her. Oh, it wags its tail, sits by her, and comes when she calls, but all of those responses are based on the fact that she feeds it and keeps it warm. Animals cannot love in the same way that humans, created in God’s image, can love.

Here is the bottom line on love: “This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.… We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:9–11, 19).

What are the five love languages?"

Answer: The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts is a book written by Gary Chapman that explores the ways people give and receive love. In the book, Chapman suggests that everyone receives love in at least one of five ways: words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, quality time, and physical touch. The way we receive love is usually the way we naturally express it, but if our loved one does not receive love in the same way we do, he or she can feel unloved. The 5 Love Languages became a New York Times #1 bestseller in the early 1990s and has remained popular for its timeless wisdom and practical help.

The five categories in which people give and receive love greatly affect relationships. When we understand the love language of another person, we can more effectively communicate our respect and affection to him or her. Most people have a primary love language and a secondary language as well. Free quizzes are available on The 5 Love Languages website so that anyone can determine his or her own love language as well as the languages of the people in their lives.

The following is a brief explanation of each of the five love languages:

1. Words of affirmation. Some people are more attuned than others to hear both positive and negative words from those whose opinions they cherish. While negative, critical words can tear them down, positive, encouraging words make them flourish. People who need verbal affirmation also tend to be freer with their own encouraging words. They assume that, because they so need verbal praise, the loved ones in their lives also need it. While most people enjoy hearing words of praise, those whose primary love language is words of affirmation crave it. They will often structure their lives around the possibility of receiving praise, even neglecting to speak negative truth when necessary.

Spouses and others who wish to communicate affirmation to someone with this love language must train themselves to express their feelings verbally. For someone lacking this love language, it may be awkward at first to speak what he or she assumes the other person already knows. But simple affirmations such as “You did a good job!” or “I’m proud of you!” go a long way in building the confidence and “filling the love tank” of someone who needs words of affirmation.

2. Acts of service. When acts of service is a person’s primary language, he or she interprets the help as a sign of someone’s love. For example, when a spouse does household chores, his or her efforts are interpreted as love by the other spouse, even though no actual words of love are spoken. However, if acts of service is not the love language of the helping spouse, that spouse may be unaware of what their actions mean to their wife or husband. For example, a husband may be doing the dishes because they were dirty. But to the wife, who usually does the dishes, his act of service sounds like a love song.

People with this love language are often found behind the scenes, doing what no one else volunteered to do. It is their gift to the people they care about. They assume that the recipients of their service will understand the reasons behind it, but they become frustrated when they feel taken for granted. For example, a wife with this love language feels loved when her husband does things around the house, but when she reciprocates and does something for him, he does not receive it as a gesture of love. His love language might be words of affirmation, so her attempts to show him love through acts of service go unappreciated, and his “love tank” may remain empty.

3. Gifts. We all know people who brings gifts everywhere they go. They might always be “picking up a little something” for the people in their life. These people thrive on gift-giving, and, when they are given a gift, it fills their love tank. Sometimes people misunderstand this need to express love through gift-giving and interpret the constant offerings as bribes or the expectation of something in return. When gifts is a person’s primary love language, he or she usually places a great deal of weight on the quality of the gift and the effort that went into obtaining it. The gifts need not be expensive, but they are sometimes given more meaning than the giver intended. For example, if this is a woman’s primary love language, she may read more into her boyfriend’s gift of a bracelet than he intended. He found it on sale and knew her birthday was coming up, so, on impulse, he bought it. She, on the other hand, interprets the gift as his declaration of love and may assume that the relationship is moving in a deeper direction.

It is important to understand the people in our lives who give and receive love through gift-giving. When this is the primary love language, those who care about this person can learn to offer thoughtful tokens in order to express their affection. A single rosebud, a candle, or a funny card can go a long way toward filling the love tank of someone who understands love as giving gifts.

4. Quality time. Quality time is usually linked to meaningful conversation for the people with this primary love language. Hours of deep conversation create an emotional connection for them. “If this person cares enough about me to spend all this time with me, then they really love me,” goes the reasoning.

The best way to communicate love to a person whose primary language is quality time is to remove distractions such as cell phones and TV and really tune in to what he or she is saying. We can train ourselves to give verbal feedback to indicate we are listening. A distracted audience communicates more to this person than we may realize if this is not our primary language. Continual interruptions say to this person, “You’re not important enough for me to think about only you.” Those who want to communicate affection to someone with this primary language can set aside specific times to spend together without interruptions. Joint experiences, laughing together, and talking about things that matter fill the love tank of someone who needs quality time.

5. Physical touch. Physical touch is crucial for the health and well-being of every human being. Babies who do not receive enough loving touch in infancy do not thrive and can have lifelong difficulties. But for some people the need for physical touch is greater than it is for others. Loving hugs, backrubs, holding hands, or a simple shoulder squeeze all communicate love to these people. Those actions spell love to those with this primary language. While sex can be part of this love language, this need for physical touch is non-sexual. Touching, stroking, hugging, and simple pecks on the cheek fill the love tank of those with this need.

However, when this person tries to express affection physically to someone who does not have this as a primary language, the situation is ripe for miscommunication. Sexual harassment lawsuits have been filed against innocent people who thought their non-sexual touch communicated respect and affection when it was in fact interpreted as a sexual overture. People with this primary love language need to remember that touch can mean a variety of things, and their intent is not always clearly communicated. This need can also create tension in marriage when one simply wants to cuddle, but the other interprets the physical touch as a sexual invitation. Clearly communicating with each other about what kinds of touches are needed can help both spouses learn to fill the love tank of the other.

There are many ways to communicate love, and, as followers of Christ, we are to employ them all. But in relationships it is helpful to understand how we are wired and how those we care about receive our love. Educating ourselves about the complexities of human nature helps us respond to those God places in our lives, and The 5 Love Languages is a good starting place.