REAL Love

John 4:7–30 ESV

A woman from Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.” (For his disciples had gone away into the city to buy food.) The Samaritan woman said to him, “How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a woman of Samaria?” (For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.) Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.” The woman said to him, “Sir, you have nothing to draw water with, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob? He gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did his sons and his livestock.” Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water.” Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.” The woman answered him, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true.” The woman said to him, “Sir, I perceive that you are a prophet. Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you say that in Jerusalem is the place where people ought to worship.” Jesus said to her, “Woman, believe me, the hour is coming when neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father. You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him. God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.” The woman said to him, “I know that Messiah is coming (he who is called Christ). When he comes, he will tell us all things.” Jesus said to her, “I who speak to you am he.” Just then his disciples came back. They marveled that he was talking with a woman, but no one said, “What do you seek?” or, “Why are you talking with her?” So the woman left her water jar and went away into town and said to the people, “Come, see a man who told me all that I ever did. Can this be the Christ?” They went out of the town and were coming to him.

Who has not dreamed of finding the perfect romance?

Getting swept off your feet.

Get married.

Happily ever after.

We all want love.

We all hope for the happily ever after.

But relationships take work.

It takes two people willing to fight for each other.

It also takes the realization that real love is not the romantic fluff that Hollywood sells.

It’s not all passionate kisses and fun dates.

It’s putting up with each other’s shortcomings.

It’s seeing beauty in each other when the years take their toll.

Her hourglass begins to look more like a sun dial.

His six pack turns into a keg.

So many people only want the magic, the fairy tale romance, but walk away as soon as it becomes the least bit difficult.

A Life of Disappointment

I can only imagine what the life of this Samaritan woman must have been like.

Five times she had been married.

Five times she had hoped for the fairy tale, only to be disappointed.

The hopelessness reached a point that she wasn’t even willing to try anymore.

So she was living with a man.

And her life had taken other tolls

According to John’s gospel, verse six of chapter 4 says that Jesus met the Samaritan woman at the well around the sixth hour, which would be around noon.

Women typically went to the well in the morning, while it was still cool and they were still feeling strong to carry their jars of water home.

But this woman is there, alone, in the hottest part of the day.

Why didn’t she go with the other women?

Could it be that she had developed a bad reputation?

It might be hard to imagine in this day and age, but it wasn’t that long ago when a couple living together outside of marriage was considered outrageous.

Anyone considered immoral would have been shunned by the rest of the community.

So this woman, who had had 5 husbands and was now living with someone, was most certainly a town reject.

She wasn’t allowed to come with the other women.

It was easier to face the scorching sun than deal with their contempt.

A Cringe-worthy Moment

This woman comes to the well in the heat of the day, to get her water in peace, and she finds Jesus sitting there.

In her mind, it could not have been any worse.

She was already shunned in her own community.

But now she was face to face with a Jewish man.

If she felt any shame before, she certainly felt it now.

She was Samaritan.

She was a woman.

And she was considered immoral.

Jews despised Samaritans.

1 Kings 12 records that the nation of Israel was divided into two kingdoms in the reign of Rehoboam.

Israel in the north.

Judah in the south.

Samaria was the capital city of Israel.

The northern Israelites rebelled against God, worshiping idols and marrying heathens.

The citizens of the southern kingdom of Judah became known as Jews, and they continued worshiping God.

The Samaritans were the descendents of the kingdom of Israel.

The Jews despised them as half-breeds who had turned from God.

Middle Eastern culture has never put any value on women.

Only men had any real value.

Women and children were considered not quite human.

That’s why what the Bible teaches about how husbands are to treat their wives is so important.

God was breaking the cultural mindsets to get men to see their women as precious rather than just property.

And of course, we have already discussed her reputation.

She was considered the filth of her gender, who was considered the unimportant of the community, which was considered despicable by the Jews.

And now she is stuck dealing with a male Jewish rabbi!

So imagine her shock when he asks for for a drink of water and begins a conversation with her.

And imagine the wonder and fear she must have felt when Jesus began telling her about her sordid past!

She must have expected him to begin judging her just like everyone else did, so she tries to distract him from her sin by taking up the old argument about Jews vs. Samaritans.

You tell us that we can only worship in the temple in Jerusalem.

What is NOT said in that passage is the fact that a Samaritan would never be allowed to enter the temple in Jerusalem.

Basically, the Jews taught that a Samaritan could NEVER be accepted by God.

And to this, Jesus replies that God doesn’t care WHERE you worship—only HOW you worship.

In spirit and truth.

He is telling her that if she really wants to come to the heavenly Father, he is waiting for her.

And then Jesus goes one step further.

When she talks about waiting for the Messiah, Jesus declares himself as Messiah.

This is one of the first times he clearly identifies himself as Messiah, and Jesus is doing so to this WOMAN.

This SAMARITAN woman.

This SINFUL Samaritan woman.

Why would Jesus do all this?

Because he LOVES her.

Do you want to know what real love is? Look at Jesus and the Samaritan woman.

He knew exactly who she was and what she had done.

It was no accident that Jesus was at the well at that moment.

He was there to meet the woman.

He loved her enough to come all the way to Samaria to minister to her.

He loved her in spite of her sins.

He accepted her as she was.

But he also loved her enough not to let her stay that way.

He forgave her sins and helped her become righteous and holy.

And think about how this woman must have felt.

When she saw the Jewish rabbi at her well, she was prepared to be judged and condemned.

Instead, she found that the Messiah she had been looking for all her life had come looking for her.

And that same Jesus that went looking for the woman at the well is the same Jesus who seeks you out.

He sees all your flaws.

He knows your innermost thoughts.

He knows how you have betrayed him and sought your own way.

He knows just how sinful you really are.

And he loves you anyway.

John 15:16 ESV

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.

He loves you just as you are.

But he loves you too much to let you stay as you are.

Today, Jesus is here to meet you where you are and lead you on a journey of faith, healing, and restoration.

If you are ready to follow him completely, he has a plan for you.

A plan that will fill your life with purpose.

A plan that will ultimately lead you to be with him eternally.

Jesus is here today, offering REAL LOVE.