What’s Love Got To Do With It?

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Love Society

We often talk about “Love”.
Our society is fixated on it.
We write songs like, “What’s Love Got to do with it?”
“For the Love of Money”,
even “Muskrat Love”.
We read books on love,
watch love stories on TV and in the movies.
We preach sermons on love,
Quote scripture verses on love,
And we try to love our neighbors.
But would we recognize a true act of love if we saw it?
Let me ask you, have you ever looked to God and questioned what happened?
You know what I mean; you look in udder disbelief at the trials or circumstances that God has allowed.
“Why did the car break down?
“Why do little children get cancer?”…
“Why did he have to die?”
These questions all come from a deeper question…
“If you love me God, why do you let bad things happen?”
We see something very like this in John chapter 11.
John 11:5–6 NKJV
Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So, when He heard that he was sick, He stayed two more days in the place where He was.
We read this and say, “But if you loved them… why did you wait?”
That was my first reaction?
If Jesus truly loved Lazarus why did he let him die?
If he truly loved Martha and Mary why did he put them through such pain?
Then one day I was listening to a sermon on this topic, and something the pastor said really got my attention. So I did something very strange… I started studying the passage myself.

What is Love?

The story begins with a very sick man, (no not me).
John 11:1–3 NKJV
Now a certain man was sick, Lazarus of Bethany, the town of Mary and her sister Martha. It was that Mary who anointed the Lord with fragrant oil and wiped His feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was sick. Therefore the sisters sent to Him, saying, “Lord, behold, he whom You love is sick.”
We all know this story, right.
Lazarus and his family were friends of Jesus.
Mary anointed Jesus’ feet during a previous visit.
And now, Lazarus is sick and his sisters send a message to Jesus to let him know.
John 11:4 NKJV
When Jesus heard that, He said, “This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it.”
This should be a clue that something big is going to happen, (as if being in the Bible weren’t enough).
Jesus says that Lazarus’ sickness is “not unto death, but for the glory of God”.
We often think of sickness as a bad thing.
There are those who will tell you that if you are sick then there’s something wrong with your walk with God.
But here Jesus says that this sickness is for God’s glory.
Let me ask you, If Lazarus’ sickness can be for God’s glory, can ours?
Then came the part of the sermon to got my attention. This pastor was preaching out of the 1984 NIV translation, and when he read verses 5 & 6, something in me jumped.
John 11:5–6 NIV84
Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. Yet when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days.

Paul’s Point of View

This is where I got hung up. I mean, if Jesus could cure the blind and the leper, couldn’t he cure Lazarus?
If He loved them so much, why not go and cure him now?
I researched several commentaries and found something interesting…
Different scholars had very different ideas about what this passage meant.
Some thought that Jesus wanted to go and cure Lazarus but stayed to allow God to be glorified, which can easily be seen from v. 4.
Others stated that Jesus let Lazarus die for the Apostles sake based on vs. 14 & 15.
But others came closer to what my study found, and this is where translation matters.
The 1984 New International Version translates the beginning of verse six as “Yet when he heard”.
This is what bothered me because it doesn’t sound like Jesus.
It certainly didn’t sound very loving.
Who among us when told that a dear friend or loved one was sick, would react this way?
Imagine if someone were to come up here right now and tell me a dear friend was sick and possibly dying.
What would your reaction be if I said, “You know I really love that person… but I think I’m going to hang around here a couple more days.”
Especially if I had the cure!
I doubt many here would call that love.
Let’s get back to that translation question.
In the original manuscript verse six is starts with “οὖν” [oun /oon/],
Which is most often translated as “therefore, then or so”.
So I think a better translation would be the one in the New King James Version:
John 11:5–6 NKJV
Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So, when He heard that he was sick, He stayed two more days in the place where He was.
Imagine that. Jesus says he loves Martha, Mary and Lazarus SO he’s going to hang out a couple of days!
Is that really any better than “Yet he waited”?
I’ve traveled for years as part of my work.
I doubt there’s a church in this country, if I were standing in the pulpit and told them my wife or daughter was sick, and because I loved them very much, I’m staying right here for two days, wouldn’t throw me out on my ear.
But that is EXACTLY what Jesus did.
This just doesn’t make sense.
Either it means Jesus doesn’t really love Martha, Mary, and Lazarus,
Or we don’t understand love.

Three Types of Love

It has been my observation that there are generally three types of love.
Some of you may know that there are different Greek words in scripture translated “love”, but I’m not referring to that.
No, I’ve observed that when people say they’re doing something for love, it usually means one of three things:

First, Love That Makes Me Happy

Haven’t you seen it?
Someone gives up school or a promising career “for the love of music”, or art, or the theatre, or insert your favorite objective here.
Now there’s nothing wrong with doing something we like, especially if you do it for a living.
But when we refer to love that way we’re doing it to make ourselves happy.
Sometimes it’s not so obvious when we do things to make ourselves happy.
Often we give to others to make ourselves happy.
I believe that is why Jesus said in Matthew 6:
Matthew 6:2–4 NKJV
Therefore, when you do a charitable deed, do not sound a trumpet before you as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory from men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. But when you do a charitable deed, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, that your charitable deed may be in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will Himself reward you openly.
Jesus knows that sometime we help others to make ourselves feel good.
He said, do it in secret,
Not because giving is bad but because “showing off” about it only serves to make us feel good about ourselves and diminish others.

Second, Love That Makes Others Happy

Notice that Jesus didn’t say it is wrong to give to others,
Just don’t be selfish about it.
There’s a saying, “it is better to give than to receive”.
When we give to make others happy we feel warm and blessed inside.
When someone is in need and we give them food or money we’re trying to make them happy.
Parents often try to give their children “everything they never had” in an attempt to “make them happy”.
When we pass laws we’re usually trying to make someone happy.

Third, Love That Wants What is Best for Others

This is the hardest of the three.
If you want what is best for someone else you have to put aside any desire for your own benefit.
You’re not going to try to make yourself happy,
And you’re not going to try to make them happy, to give them the “warm and fuzzies”.
Worse than that, you actually have to invest time and effort to determine what IS best for that person.
You may even have to endure accusations and ridicule for your decision.

A Personal Example

Many years ago a friend of mine had a very serious, even life threatening problem.
Now he had had this problem for some time, and I along with others told him it would be OK, we could help him through it.
One day I want to his house, and he was having a bad day.
I told him he was in a mess, and that I loved him too much to help him continued to act that way.
I told him I was willing to help, but only if he stopped his detrimental actions, sought professional help and only as long as he remained that way & could prove it.
I told him I loved him too much to stand there holding him up while he was destroying himself and those around him.
Many people would tell me that was cruel and unloving.
But I’m glad to say that as of the last time I talked to him, he’s still living well.
I didn’t tell you that story to show how strong or smart I am.
As a matter of fact I struggled and prayed a long time coming to that decision.
But I think this story is a current example of what Jesus was doing.

What Was Best for the Apostles

Back to Lazarus,
John 11:11–13 NKJV
These things He said, and after that He said to them, “Our friend Lazarus sleeps, but I go that I may wake him up.” Then His disciples said, “Lord, if he sleeps he will get well.” However, Jesus spoke of his death, but they thought that He was speaking about taking rest in sleep.
After a couple of days, Jesus decides it’s time to go see Lazarus.
Now the Apostles are confused!
Jesus didn’t want to go to Lazarus right away, now he wants to go.
The Apostles probably said he could use the rest! They don’t understand him, so Jesus says:
John 11:14–16 NKJV
Then Jesus said to them plainly, “Lazarus is dead. And I am glad for your sakes that I was not there, that you may believe. Nevertheless let us go to him.” Then Thomas, who is called the Twin, said to his fellow disciples, “Let us also go, that we may die with Him.”
Lazarus is dead, and for the Apostles sake he’s glad they weren’t there?
Now Jesus isn’t happy because they weren’t there for Lazarus or to see the pain on Mary & Martha’s faces.
But Jesus says he’s glad he wasn’t there SO that the Apostles may believe.
I hope none of my friends needs that kind of lesson to believe.

What Was Best for Mary, Martha, & Lazarus

The Apostles weren’t the only ones’ that needed a lesson.
Jesus knew that Lazarus sickness wasn’t going to end in death.
He knew death was involved, but he knew it wasn’t the end of this story.
Jesus had healed many sick and dying people at this point in his ministry.
He had cast out demons,
Made the lame to walk
And the blind to see.
Mary, Martha and Lazarus had seen some of these,
And I’m sure had heard of others.
When Martha heard that Jesus had finally arrived she went out to meet him:
John 11:21–22 NKJV
Now Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that whatever You ask of God, God will give You.”
Lord, why did you let this happen?
If you had been here my brother would not have died.
We never ask those types of questions, do we?
We always ask those questions!
“Why me Lord?”
“Why didn’t you answer my prayers?”
“Why did I get sick?”
“Why did so and so die?”
We come with all our pious humility, talking about giving our lives to God.
But when things get tough we ask “why me?”
John 11:23–24 NKJV
Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.” Martha said to Him, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.”
Jesus tells Martha Lazarus will rise.
But I can’t really blame Martha for not understanding.
She hadn’t seen a resurrection.
We’ve heard about them and I doubt any of us would expect to see some rise from the dead.
I mean, what would your reaction be if during a funeral someone walked in and said the deceased would rise again?
If we didn’t laugh them out or make a reservation in a padded room for them, we too might spout a similar response.
“Yes; And the sea will give up its dead…”
John 11:25–27 NKJV
Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?” She said to Him, “Yes, Lord, I believe that You are the Christ, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.”
Martha, do you really know who you’re talking to?
You say the words, but do you really understand?
Would any of us understand?
Let’s face it, none of us UNDERSTAND.
The Lord of the universe, the God of all creation, the alpha and omega, who are we to ask why?
John 11:28–32 NKJV
And when she had said these things, she went her way and secretly called Mary her sister, saying, “The Teacher has come and is calling for you.” As soon as she heard that, she arose quickly and came to Him. Now Jesus had not yet come into the town, but was in the place where Martha met Him. Then the Jews who were with her in the house, and comforting her, when they saw that Mary rose up quickly and went out, followed her, saying, “She is going to the tomb to weep there.” Then, when Mary came where Jesus was, and saw Him, she fell down at His feet, saying to Him, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.”
Same song, second verse
Jesus, why weren’t you here?
If you had been here, her brother would not have died.
What would have made Martha and Mary happy?
Jesus showing up and healing their brother.
They question Him about not showing up.
In their minds, about not loving them.
John 11:33–36 NKJV
Therefore, when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her weeping, He groaned in the spirit and was troubled. And He said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to Him, “Lord, come and see.” Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, “See how He loved him!”
Remember, Jesus knows that this does not end with Lazarus’ death.
So why is He weeping?
Is he sad because someone He loved has died?
He knows He’s about to raise him,
So why does He weep?
John 11:33 NKJV
Therefore, when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her weeping, He groaned in the spirit and was troubled.
I believe He is weeping with the people.
He is weeping for their pain and loss.
And He is weeping for their lack of faith.
John 11:37 NKJV
And some of them said, “Could not this Man, who opened the eyes of the blind, also have kept this man from dying?”
Not only Martha and Mary are questioning Jesus, but some of the people there as well.
Why didn’t He do what WE expected Him to do?
Couldn’t He have kept this man from dying?
Didn’t He love him?

Conclusion

We all know what happened after that,
But that is not the point of this message.
Jesus was not looking to make himself happy.
He received no joy from Lazarus death or resurrection.
He wasn’t looking to make the Apostles happy.
He wasn’t looking to make Martha, Mary and especially Lazarus happy.
He saw a need.
A need to understand who it was they were talking to.
To see his power and authority.
To see that resurrection was possible.
Jesus could have made Mary, Martha and Lazarus happy,
But that is not what was best for them.
While that may have seemed the loving thing to do, it was not truly loving.
Jesus could have made the Apostles happy,
They would have seen another healing,
But not the power over life and death.
Which was a lesson they would desperately need one day.
True Love, God’s Love isn’t here to make us happy or comfortable or to explain Himself to us.
True love looks for what is best for the other person.
True love is willing to wrestle with what is the best course of action not the easiest or most popular.
True love is willing to work hard, to put in the time and effort and pain to help someone else in the long run.
True love is willing to give of his or herself even to the point of enduring the scorn, criticism, and anger of others for doing what looks like a mean thing when it’s actually the loving thing.
And most of all, true love is willing to give the glory where is truly belongs, with God the Father, His Son, and His Spirit.
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