The Love Debt
Notes
Transcript
Introduction: Anthony O’neal story
Introduction: Anthony O’neal story
A few years I had the opportunity to attend a Dave Ramsey conference for Pastors and ministry leaders. It was hear I was able to hear for the first time one of FPU presenters, Anthony O’neal.
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O’neal shared his experience beginning college and the feeling he felt of finally achieving “grown man status.” He was 18 and felt he was out from under his parents wings and now he could make decisions for himself. However, one of the first decisions he made as a “grown man” was a poor one. As he was in the process of going through orientation and getting checked into the dorm, he saw a table with a stack of Papa John’s pizzas that had a sign on it that read “FREE.” As he would later learn, outside of God’s love, nothing comes for free. He approached the table, and the gentleman behind it said, Hey would you like one of these pizzas?? “Of course!” Well all you have to do is sign up for this free student credit card, and the pizza is yours! O’neal remembered a conversation with his parents of discouraging him from applying for credit cards, especially as a freshman, but he also remembered he was 18 and he could make this decision himself. He chose the option which would net him 2 free pizza, undecided if he would actually use the card or not.
A few days later, sure enough his card arrived in the mail. He initially thought against using it. But then he started meeting young ladies on campus, some he wanted to take on dates. He started listening to the wrong people’s advice about dating. “ Don’t pick up a girl empti-handed. You need to have nice gift. Flowers, chocolates, perfumes, even jewelry.” Not having any money to take these girls on dates, he began swiping that card which had only received so he would get a free pizza. O’neal describes the power and status he felt while swiping that card. Unfortunately the realities of his decisions came tumbling down, when his parents began receiving the monthly statement. His mother had reached out asking about this card he had. He decided to give his mom the “grown man” speech and it ended with him hanging up the phone on his mom. Before that first semester was over, Anthony O’neal had swiped himself into almost 25,000 worth of credit card debt. He applied for other cards to pay off existing credit card debt. It was also in that first semester O’neal had joined a fraternity and had participated in some hazing. He would have his scholarships and GI bill and was forced to leave school. He figured he would go home, but his father directed him that if he was to come home, he’d be following their rules. He then made his last “grown man” speech. His parents told him he would not be coming home.
Anthony didn’t panic, he had helped lots of his friends out, someone would offer him a place to stay. He was wrong, no one would take him in. Anthony began sleeping in his car in a walmart parking lot. On the off chance one of his friends would invite him somewhere, he had a bucket, some dish detergent, and would find a water spicket and wash himself to look presentable.
What Anthony was not aware of for the couple weeks he was living in his car, his father had been sleeping in his, in the same parking lot out of site. Finally he came and tapped on the window and invited his son again home. His parents and he developed a plan for him to pay off his debt and get his life in order.
One lesson Anthony’s father taught him was the only debt God wants us to owe is loving one another. And it was out of love for his son, he let him sleep in his car for a couple weeks, and also out of love he kept an eye on him as well.
Paul’s counsel in Romans 13 verse 8 is to owe no one anything except love for each other.
Today we are going to be talking somewhat about God’s desire for us regarding personal finance and debt, but especially for young people beginning their financial journeys and of course the spiritual implications.
Before we go further though, lets take a moment to pray.
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I want to share, my degree is obviously not in finance and I won’t be attempting to go outside of my depth. In fact later you’ll see some familiar faces talk a little bit more intelligently than I can. But I must tell you speaking from my own experience, having two parents who taught me the value of dollar early on has helped me personally make good decisions surrounding finance and giving. One of the lasting positive challenges I experienced while taking Dave Ramsey’s financial peace university was the fact the Bible can be your guide even in your financial lives.
I think many of you parents here would agree with me that you want your children to learn and understand and follow what the Bible teaches about living our lives in Jesus. Money is no different. change slide
Train up a child in the way he should go;
even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Is there anyone here who would disagree that you want your children to learn the value of discipline and working hard. What I often see in the world are get rich quick fixes and pyramid schemes. Through experience many of us learn these measures have no substance to them and can even ruin peoples lives.
We see the same things advertised for healthy bodies, it doesn’t come without effort and work.
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Wealth gained hastily will dwindle,
but whoever gathers little by little will increase it.
i believe God desires us to commit our lives to pursuing what is lasting. And if money is the endgame, I can assure you it will NOT last.
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Many of you know Michael Strahan as a media personality and former NFL defensive linemen. When he retired, he wrote an autobiographical book on his life called “Michael Strahan, Inside the Helmet.” In this book he makes the point that if he could give any advice to young players when they receive their first paychecks was, “Do not spend it.” and if you do, “make a lasting investment” because their is a motto in the NFL. It doesn’t stand for National Football League, it stands for NOT FOR LONG.
He shares most players think they are going to play with the longevity of Tom Brady, playing for over 21 years. The reality is most players play under non-guaranteed contracts and are released before the season even starts. There is story after story of former players blowing their money, even while trying to do good things like buying their families houses, but if they don’t invest well, they can be broke very quickly due to bankruptsy or terrible debt and when they’ve been released, they no longer even have a key to the building where they have been playing.
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One question I want to ask you this morning, does the Bible endorse debt? I’m guessing your quick answers would “No.”
For the most part I think you would be correct. Some verses quickly come to mind, many found in proverbs,
The rich rules over the poor,
and the borrower is the slave of the lender.
Be not one of those who give pledges,
who put up security for debts.
God even discourages his people from granting loans ourselves with the attachment of interest. change slide
“If you lend money to any of my people with you who is poor, you shall not be like a moneylender to him, and you shall not exact interest from him. If ever you take your neighbor’s cloak in pledge, you shall return it to him before the sun goes down,
In the Lord’s prayer itself, we say, “Forgive us our debts as, we forgive our debtors.” change slide
I believe God wants us to train our children be careful in their decision making both in taking loans, even student loans…and also in giving loans. In Anthony O’neals case, his debt that built up was not just a result of spending on himself but swiping the card for friends who claimed, “they would pay him back.” But when he was living in his car those same people wouldnt even offer him their futon to sleep on. The difference between he and the prodigal son was he hadn’t squandered an inheritance, he had paid using credit.
However,
Based also on what I read in scripture, the Bible does not discourage all forms of debt. I’ll refer you to:
Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.
Sounds like a Love debt to me. God’s law is a law of love. By virtue of loving one another, God expects and even commands his people to live generously.
And You truly cannot out give God. This week I asked on facebook, in preparation for this message, for the best advice or tips young adults entering their professional lives regarding finances. The post got over 100 comments. Not everyone gave the same advice, but everyone I felt gave meaningful advice. So I looked for some themes coming from people, some from this church, some I knew as far back as elementary school. I was amazed the most frequent response was, return to God His 10 percent and to be generous with your offerings before paying any bills. Several comments echoed each other, about the benefit to them personally in learning to live generously. I can’t think of a single person who blames returning tithe as the reason for financial troubles.
Many my age early thirties were saying they wished they had made a financial plan before taking on mortgages or car payments. Many referenced their parents love an examples I have for teaching them early to be responsible with money. change slide
For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?
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It is not being unfaithful to God when you make plans and budget for your future. In fact, it is an act of faith, because you are being a good steward to continue to bless others even in the future.
Many of you here are Dave Ramsey fans or have gone through the financial peace university. I am to, and have been through the course twice.
There’s other resources out there, and you don’t have to limited to just his course or methods, but there is no denying his program has helped many achieve financial peace.
Parents of young adult children, let me pose a question to you, do you feel financial peace, if you have become debt free but you see your children wallowing in it? Probably not. I am not advocating you go and give a family bailout. But you are under the debt of love. The most meaningful lesson I gleaned from the Anthony O’neal story was his parents response to his son’s trouble. They chose not to enable his choices and they wanted him to learn some valuable lessons. However the father sleeping in his own car watching after his son while he was sleeping in his is an example of teaching our kids LOVE no matter what. When I study with our kids from Eddlemon who are pursuing baptism is that the best way to understand God’s love, is the example of a good parent’s love. Because no matter what knucklehead decisions we make as children our parents love is always there. Because God’s love is always there. And guess what, Its Free!!!!!!
As I mentioned, I am not a financial expert, but we have lots of resources even right here in this church. I want to play you a video of a conversation between myself, Michael Meadows, Timothy Blake, and Brandon Blake.
Play Video
Big thankyou to Tim, Michael, and Brandon for sharing.
Its amazing the impact of parent’s example can have on their children. The biggest example is in the way they love. I don’t care what topic we are talking about, personal finance, health, academics, practices in marriage. The greatest lesson that can be taught is to love.
Parents, Kids, teens, young adults, listen closely change slide
do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
I want to invite invite our musicians to come forward and we are going to sing “My Chains are gone” and as we are singing picture the chains of debt and financial stress, breaking. And let the peace of God surpassing all understanding come upon us. Following the song we will pray.