Relationships

ME

I’ll never forget the day I found out my brother was dating one of my teachers...

*Find pic of Jeff in Ford Bronco II*

When I was a kid, my big bro Jeff still lived at home.

He’s 14 years older than me, so when I was little he was in his early 20’s.

And I though he was seriously the coolest guy to ever walk the planet. He was swagger before swagger was even a thing.

Straight outta the 80’s, mullet cut, Levi’s “Silver tab” jeans, white Nikes and he drove a Ford Bronco II.

“LL Cool J” 80’s album pic

I remember finding this cassette tape of “LL Cool J” in the floor board of that Bronco II and then asking my bro what LL Cool J stood for.

He said “Ladies Love Cool James” and I was like naw, “Ladies Love cool Jeff!”

My bro dated quite a few ladies around that time, but nothing was stranger than who I caught him dating this one day...

I walk out of the house bc I saw him pull up on the road in front of our yard on Lookout Drive and I wonder why he’s not getting out of the car…

And so I walk up to the passenger door, someone opens it and there sits my daycare teacher, Ms. Tammy!

I was like what the what?!

MY BROTHER WAS DATING MY DAYCARE TEACHER!

I’m pretty sure he was KISSING my daycare teacher!

This is the kind of thing that scars a kid for life...

Thankfully they stopped dating pretty soon after that, but I could never look at Ms. Tammy the same again...

WE

Relationships are weird, right?

One minute you “love” each other and tell everyone how great the other person is, and the next minute it’s over and they’re the worst person EVER.

Check out these terrible break up stories:

2. "My college girlfriend's dad won $1 million in the state lottery, and she broke up with me saying, 'Now that I'm rich, I can't afford to date regular people like you.'"

3. "My girlfriend dumped me because I made her smile too much. She had braces and it cut up the inside of her mouth."

5. "My ex dumped me because he wanted to be like Paul from the Bible."

"Paul was single until he died, but the kicker is that a month later he had a new girlfriend."

7. "She thought I tried to kill her horse with voodoo because I was jealous of it."

10. "A guy actually dumped me because I'm a carpenter, and according to him it's just not ladylike. I told him I knew how to build a casket."

11. "She broke up with me because of my severe fish allergy."

"She said she could never marry someone who wouldn't let her eat fish. So she chose the occasional tuna sandwich over me."

17. "I had a girl break up with me because my texts were green since I didn't have an iPhone. She hated the color of our text chain."

But this is the best one:

18. "My girlfriend dumped me for her ex, who she reconnected with because of the birthday gift I got her."

"I bought my girlfriend one of the World of Warcraft expansion packs for her birthday. She started playing again, got really into it, and I hardly saw her. She'd play all night long. She had started playing with her ex and it apparently rekindled their feelings for each other, because she dumped me after a couple of weeks of this and got back together with him."

Most of our relationships are driven by what we can get out of it (consumer based)… like going to a store and picking out a bf/gf that suits what we want. “A sensitive guy” “A girl who likes to play basketball like me”

We naturally think about how the other person can make US happy.

But if you’re a Christian, the love that you were created in is a covenant relationship. It’s based on a deeper relationship with God. Covenant changes our goals for friendship and romantic love and releases us from idolizing romance or using people for our own satisfaction.

GOD

To really understand this kind of relationship, we need to go back to the very first love story in all of history: Adam and Eve.

Genesis 2:18–25 NIV

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

Adam was lonely, so God made a companion for him.

God created every other creature out of the ground itself, and Adam gave each one a name (How long would that take?!)-

Video: Brad Stine- How did Adam Name All The Animals?

So God put Adam under for rib surgery. He took out his rib and sowed him back up.

Then God made another better-smelling human from the rib.

*Skeleton Illustration*

Point to skeleton parts as you share this quote

Matthew Henry best captures the proper relationship between Adam and Eve as God intended it: “Not made out of his head to top him, not out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved

Adam realizes that this creature is waaay different. She's just like him but better... she's the companion he's been looking for.

“You are now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh”

In making the sexuality of Adam and Eve, God could have made their bodies operate any way He desired. But he built into them their maleness and femaleness to symbolize to them, “Your completeness is not in yourself; it is in somebody else.”

God had in mind that as they would need each other on the horizontal level, so on the vertical level (a cross?) they both would need Him. Their completeness would be found only in Him.

And this man and woman together was the first marriage... setting the tone for all mankind to grow and flourish.

And they were married for HUNDREDS of years.

Marriage is meant to be permanent. A life-long commitment.

If they could remain committed and loyal for almost a millenium (maybe even longer) men and women can stay married for 60 years.

Man is to be united (2:24) to his wife. The Hebrew word is stronger. It says he is to “cleave” to her. In more common English, he is to “cling” or “stick” to her. The intended meaning is that his assignment to his wife is to have both passion and permanence in their marriage.

They didn't have clothes bc they weren't worried about the flesh.. sin hadn't come to earth yet and so their hearts were pure and perfectly in tune with God.

Marriage can last a lifetime when a man and woman put Christ at the center of it.

Because when Christ is at the center, selfishness fades away and the other person become more important than me.

In any relationship, and especially in romantic relationships:

When I love God first, I'm able to put others first.

YOU

*Get volunteer on stage*

And here’s one last thing I want you to understand about marriage:

If you’re a Christian, it is VITAL that you marry someone who is also a Christian.

If you marry someone who doesn’t share your most deeply held and core beliefs, then you will repeatedly make decisions that your spouse won’t be able to understand.

And here’s what will happen:

Ladder Illustration

Stand on the ladder about 3 rungs up. Invite a student to come up on stage and ask them to let you try and pull them up the ladder. Grab their hand with yours as hard as you can and try to elevate them. It’s legit hard. Then let them try and pull you down off the ladder. Point: it’s easier to pull somebody down than pull somebody up. If you’re not equally yoked, you may help your partner grow, but it’s dangerous, difficult, and puts you in a serious position where you can fall.

Rather than seeing your relationships—with the opposite sex, with friends and family—as ways to be emotionally, intellectually, or physically satisfied, begin to pray for God to help you see his covenant with his church more clearly in your own life. Ask yourself, “What is God inviting me into with this relationship?” and then ask how you can serve someone else rather than use another person for your own pleasure.

WE

What if all Christian teenagers in America grew up and had committed, Christ-centered marriages?

It would change the entire direction of this country.

The family would grow strong again, with husbands and wives loving each other and putting each other first, setting the example for their children, grandchildren and generations to come.

*Prayer*