Family Matters Matter

Introduction (25:00)

Wallace and Linda story

This letter is written to Timothy, but it’s meant for everyone in the Church - just a few verses before this verse, Timothy is asked to do these things because they are right and good, but also that they are an example for others - the Church - to follow. This is for all of us.

Christian Standard Bible Chapter 5

Don’t rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters with all purity.

3 Support widows who are genuinely in need. 4 But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them learn to practice godliness toward their own family first and to repay their parents, for this pleases God. 5 The widow who is truly in need and left all alone has put her hope in God and continues night and day in her petitions and prayers; 6 however, she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives. 7 Command this also, so that they will be above reproach. 8 But if anyone does not provide for his own family, especially for his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

PRAY!

We use these terms in greeting one another, we say we are a big Church family. We can say this is true! But how do we do it? That’s the point of this passage here in Timothy. I How do we prioritize church family? What sort of patterns do we follow in our Church family? And how do we provide for family? God’s word tells us.

The Priority of Family (18:00)

Family matters to God

That’s right from the beginning. God made us male and female, but in Genesis it’s not just that a man be joined to a woman, its man will be joined with his wife. Family. And family matters to God. It’s shot through page after page of the text. Husbands & wives, mothers & fathers.

Siblings and their relationships with one another matter: Cain & Abel. Joseph and his brothers. Moses & Miriam & Aaron. Whether good or not, they matter. Family matters to God.

These verses show us there is a priority in family that matters. Yes, there are priorities in family. Look at verse 1, we (for this letter is to the believing Church in Ephesus) are to be family. Fathers! Mothers! Brothers! Sisters! Family!

But! Look at verse 8. “If anyone does not provide for his own family, especially for his household…”

Right there, priority! “own family...Especially for his own household.” Let’s go back to verse 1. Do we have Church family? Yes! Are they in your household? Typically not. Where’s the priority? Right!

It is important to remember context. Paul was writing to believers in Ephesus, and life was different. A household would likely include any widows, like mentioned in verse 3. But the principle for the first-century believers remains the same today: those in your household are your highest priority.

It’s not a small matter! In Chapter 3 verse 4 Paul says an overseer, certainly the role of Pastor, must have his own family in order…or else how can he manage God’s family?

Family is a priority for me because I cannot be a minister of the gospel if it is not. Family matters matter.

Because they matter, husbands, let’s talk about your priorities. Verse 8 is aimed squarely at the men: his, his, he. Men, this is aimed at you & aimed at me:

Provide. There are two aspects to this greek word. One is straightforward: needs: food, clothing, etc. Similar to “support” in verse 3. But this is a different word, and this word means meeting needs and careful attention.

And these are two ditches today, aren’t they? The one is that in almost a decade of ministry, one thing Pip and I have seen time and time again is this: when men stop providing the primary income for their families, their families begin to fail. I wish I could say otherwise.

There’s the other side, though. You provide money, but not your presence in careful attentiveness. They have the vehicles, the vacations. But not you. If you feel, right now, that you have veered into one of those ditches, it is time to reprioritize. I have good news: you have many brothers and fathers who have been there and are delighted to help. Ask.

My concern was to stay close to the word of God, and not to beat anyone about the head, and certainly not lay any verbal smackdowns. While that may be tempting (especially from the pulpit!) it would go directly against...

The Pattern in Family (13:00)

Why would hammering you verbally from the pulpit be agains the pattern of family? Look at verse 1:

Don’t rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters with all purity.

Don’t Rebuke. Do Exhort. Okay, straightforward, right? But then, Paul tells Timothy in chapter 5 to rebuke…and to rebuke publickly!

We better define some terms here. The internet will tell you that the Bible is full of contradictions, like this one. But though English uses the same word, the original language uses two different words. In our verse here, it comes from the root to strike a blow, to punish with a blow. Moreover, this is the only time in the entirety of Scripture that this word is used…meaning even God does not do this to us.

How many of us have been on the receiving end of words like that? From people, probably every one of us. We all fail. But! How many of you think you hear those words from God? Not once. If you hear words you think are from God that strike like blows, meaning to punish…that’s not God.

How many of us have given out words like that? Don’t try to hurt your Church family with what you say. Instead, exhort them.

Okay, what’s “exhort”? Let’s dip into the original language here again, and when we do that…brothers and sisters, this is a great word. It means to encourage. To comfort. To urge strongly. It means to do this with either verbal or non-verbal means. But! Most importantly, it always has an aspect of presence.

God’s pattern for family is for us to encourage, comfort, and urge one another while being present.

Ac 9:31: So the church throughout all Judea, Galilee, and Samaria had peace and was strengthened. Living in the fear of the Lord and encouraged by the Holy Spirit, it increased in numbers.

1 Th 2:11–12: As you know, like a father with his own children, 12 we encouraged, comforted, and implored each one of you to walk worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory.

Heb 3:12–13: 12 Watch out, brothers and sisters, so that there won’t be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. 13 But encourage each other daily, while it is still called today, so that none of you is hardened by sin’s deception.

Presence. This makes the application straightforward in these very odd times. It has been 11 months since we started “two weeks to flatten the curve.” Though last year was tough, I delighted in figuring out to involve as many of our Church family as possible in worship, Bible Study, VBS, business meetings…you name it. A joy!

But patterns can be helpful and dangerous. We can get used to being at home, cocoa in hand, having worship streamed to our living room. But, since we are talking about meanings of words, virtual means almost. Almost your presence means people are almost encouraged, almost comforted. Almost.

There is no condemnation, just an exhortation. Examine your pattern. Be honest with God who never strikes you with his words to punish. If it is time to return, return.

(Maybe Walk for Life?)

Because priorities can get so skewed, because patterns can become so destructive, we need to know

The Provision for Family (8:00)

Paul wrote to Timothy knowing there’s a lot that can go wrong in families.

Dads can prioritize the wrong thing. Moms can get into a verbal pattern of intentionally wounding with their words. Pastors can pursue selfish ambition instead of the difficult and messy work of tending their flocks. Any of us can realize our pandemic patterns have removed us from your Church family.

And, usually, try as you will, you just can’t get unstuck. This is the difficult thing about priorities: everything else gets arranged around them. Without intending to, your priorities re-order your patterns, and…how do you un-do that house payment? How do you undo the daily ritual of punishing words?

God has made provision for families: God has provided his family both what we need, and his continual careful attention. How do we know that?

Because our God is not just God, he is God the Father. That’s what Paul calls him at the beginning of the letter. What is a father? a father is a person who provides life, who brings children into existence

This is our God! He does not withhold family status, but delights in bringing many children into his family. Romans Chapter 8 tells us that God the Father sent Jesus so that his son “would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters”

But, you say, I believe that and am still stuck. Is there a worse feeling in the world than knowing what to do…but you just can’t do it?

God never intended you to do it alone. Remember this passage: in Christ, you are not alone…you are his family. To his family, he has sent comfort, guide, and presence: the Holy Spirit. You are listening today because of the Holy Spirit. If you sense a desire to change, that’s the Holy Spirit. He is also the power to change…he raised Jesus from the dead. He can change you.

The Holy Spirit changes us in a lot of ways. This passage shows a particular method of change, a method that to many sounds foolish: us. Brothers and sisters. The Church.

I am your brother only through what Jesus Christ has done for me and to me; you have become brothers and sisters to me through what Jesus Christ has done for you and to you. This is why our presence is so important!

As each of us pursue Christ we grow in a unity in the Spirit characterized by love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Gal 5:22–23). the fruit of the Spirit.

Who does not desire that kind of family?

Conclusion (03:00)

The priority, pattern, and provision for family is anchored in this one reality: God making a way for us into his family. How do we become family? Through Jesus the Son! He does it all - every verbal blow, every misplaced priority, every rebellious word, thought, deed:

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace that he richly poured out on us with all wisdom and understanding.

You aren’t left in broken priorities and patterns. No matter what is happening, Jesus paid for it.

Turn from your rebellion and believe that Jesus is the Son of God the Father. When you do that, you receive the guarantee of your entrance into God’s family: The Holy Spirit, the one who walks with you.

When all is said and done, God has said all and done all. None of us will stand before him in heaven, boasting of what a good job we did, how we arrived. When we see him face to face there will be no room for such. We will have all of God. Not his virtual presence, but his very real presence.

On that day, we’ll see the family-ness of the Father, Son, and Spirit in the very lives of those with whom we stand. Our fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters in Christ. Each of us will love, honor, and serve one another as Christ has us.

And with one voice all of us will cry, “Abba! Father!” as his family. That is the glory of family, revealed.

This is why our family matters…matter.

(!!!PRAY!!!)

Doesn’t that make you want to sing? Let’s sing together.