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| | | Leader’s GuideFear Factors in ParentingWhat to do with parenting fears.
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| | | You go through nine months of preparation, but nothing really prepares you for the moment an infant is wrapped in pink or blue and placed in your arms.
And then it hits you—you’re a parent.
It’s not like babysitting or being in charge of your younger siblings.
This is different.
No one is coming to relieve you.
This child is yours for keeps.
Is it any wonder we inwardly scream, /What am I going to do now?/Sheila
Wray Gregoire says, “Some degree of fear is natural in parents.
We love our kids so much that the thought of anything bad happening to them sends us into a panic.
Yet, if we’re not careful, this caution can become oppressive.
When we let fear dominate our parenting, we can actually shield our kids from the very things they need to be dealing with.”
This study is about dealing with our fears.
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*Scripture:* \\ 1 Samuel 17:37; Proverbs 22:6; Isaiah 41:10; Matthew 7:11; James 1:5; 1 Peter 5:7
\\ *Based on:* \\ “Parenting Without Fear,” by Sheila Wray Gregoire, Christian Parenting Today, July~/August 2000, Vol. 12, No. 6, Page 51
\\ PART 1
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Identify the Current Issue
Note to leader: Prior to the class, provide for each person the article “Parenting Without Fear” from Christian Parenting Today magazine (included at the end of this study).
How many of us who go by the name Dad or Mom remember that first time we laid eyes on our bundles of joy?
Ever so gently someone placed our treasure in waiting arms so we could hold this precious one close to our beating heart.
Checking out every little feature, we made sure that nothing was missing.
We sat mesmerized by this little being, tenderly touching the softest skin ever felt.
As new parents we found it necessary to share anything and everything our little darling did, as if it were the first time a baby ever laughed, crawled, took a step, or even went potty.
Each accomplishment was major, perhaps because each little feat reassured us that we must be doing okay at this parenting thing.
At the beginning the feeding, cuddling, and changing were easy, and then we left the hospital!
Fear set in immediately.
How in the world could we continue doing all those parenting things without the nurse looking over our shoulders?
!! Discussion starters:
[Q] Share about a babysitting experience that didn’t turn out well.
Share how babysitting did or didn’t prepare you for parenting.
[Q] Describe good parent role models in your life.
Have you emulated them in your parenting?
[Q] Share a time when you wanted parents other than your own.
What was going on in your life at the time?
[Q] Can you think of a good example of parents from a television show or a movie?
[Q] What are the necessary components of a nurturing home?
What should be missing?
PART 2
!
Discover the Eternal Principles
!! Teaching point one: We don’t parent alone.
Wray reminds us, “The world is a scary place.
A mere glance through the newspaper reminds us just how many dangers our children face.”
And yet, we soon learn that we are not parenting alone.
Even though this world seems more fraught with danger than the one we grew up in, we can still commit our children to our heavenly Father, who always watches us.
How often do we send up quick prayers throughout the day because of an elevated fever, unexplained crying, or not knowing what could be wrong?
Yet God is always available.
Years ago, extended families provided more of a sense of community.
People were less mobile and spent more time with each other.
The number of single-parent homes and latchkey kids has grown over the years, but it’s also true that we don’t parent alone.
Thankfully, God is available 24~/7.
He doesn’t have an answering machine.
He doesn’t ask us to hang on as he takes another call.
He doesn’t screen his calls or decide not to pick up.
In fact, Scripture tells us he longs to hear from us.
Read James 1:5.
All we have to do when we are unsure about a decision is to call on the Father.
He will readily disperse the wisdom we so desperately need.
It’s there for the asking.
[Q] What is your biggest fear in raising your children?
Why is this frightening to you?
[Q] How does knowing that God wants to give you wisdom, comfort you in your parenting fears?
[Q] Name a fear you have conquered concerning your parenting.
How did you gain victory over this fear?
[Q] How does the geographical separation of family members affect raising our children?
What options can help to close those gaps?
!! Teaching point two: God enables us to do what he requires.
At some points in our lives we can feel overwhelmed, like there is no way out and we are going under.
And yet, if we look back we can remember times when we overcame similar obstacles.
Read 1 Samuel 17:37.
When David was about to fight Goliath, he remembered how God had given him the strength he needed before, and trusted him in his current time of need.
All of us face our own Goliaths; they just look different.
One practical thing we can do is make a list of times in our past when God stepped in and came to our rescue—things we were afraid of that God helped us face.
Making such a list is a wonderful reminder to us of God’s faithfulness.
Then when we are tempted to worry or become fearful, we can find hope by reading our personal record of what God has done.
[Q] How could memorizing 1 Samuel 17:37 help you in your parenting fears?
[Q] What is the most difficult thing about parenting for you?
[Q] Share about a time when God rescued you and helped you do something you couldn’t accomplish on your own.
[Q] What would it look like to have succeeded in parenting?
!! Teaching point three: Pray without ceasing.
The most frightening things can happen to our children; no matter what we do to protect them, it is sometimes not enough.
Only God is the ultimate protector.
Read Isaiah 41:10.
We will have countless opportunities to pray as we raise the children God gives us.
We will pray for safety, but even with prayer there are accidents.
Everyone knows of a tragedy where a child was lost.
Do we understand why?
No, not on this side of glory, but we can get to the place where we trust the One who does know.
Eventually our teenagers get the driver’s license they have been waiting for.
But wasn’t it just yesterday they were trying to ride their bicycles without training wheels and running to us for comfort when they fell?
Now we feebly wave as they pull out of the driveway, and understand as never before 1 Thessalonians 5:17, “Pray continually.”
We pray without ceasing to the God who never ceases to hear us.
[Q] If you are a parent, you’ve probably experienced a bit of praying continually.
How does prayer help us trust God with our children?
What must we believe about God to trust him with our precious ones?
[Q] What is the most important thing we can pray for concerning our children?
As a group, make a top-ten list.
[Q] Why do you think it’s easier to take our serious concerns to God, rather than our smaller petitions?
Share the smallest thing you have prayed about.
What was God’s answer?
PART 3
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