Forgiveness

Forgiveness

(Notes from Family Life Today 2/26/04 Peacemaking for Families)

Forgiveness is not

            A feeling

            Forgetting

            Excusing the wrong that has been done

Forgiveness is a response to God’s Word to forgive.

            Ask for God’s Grace to forgive

            Make a choice to

1.      Not dwell on the offense

2.      Not bring up the offense after forgiving

3.      Not talk to others about it

4.      Not let the offense stand between or hinder a future relationship

Forgiveness is to be ongoing, perpetual 70 X 7.

The first part of not dwelling on the offense must be immediate and unconditional.  This part is transitional and not based on the offender’s repentance.

 The next three parts come as the offender shows genuine repentance.  The Bible gives clear guidelines on going to others and confronting them with their sin, and at times taking it to the church when there is not genuine repentance.

Part of the process of forgiveness involves rebuilding trust.  When there has been unfaithfulness the unfaithful one must continue to demonstrate that trusts can be offered. Sometimes this means going past the norm of letting the offended know where and what is going on.  The offended must also learn to let go of having to know everything and cast down the habit of vain imaginations.

When an offense is committed again, the process must begin again.  The one offended can offer forgiveness and also offer that they want to help the offender break the old pattern.  There is a consequence when the offender goes back to the old pattern and actually the whole process of forgiveness must begin again, not by bringing up old offenses that have been reconciled but by focusing on the present offense.

Unless forgiveness is offered from the heart it is not forgiveness.  It must be the same as the forgiveness that Christ offers to us.  The truth of forgiveness must move from our heads to our hearts.

The key to a good marriage is not better communication, but genuine forgiveness.

 Practice These Four Promises of Forgiveness

1. Good thought
2. Hurt you not
3. Gossip never
4. Friends Forever