Created to Image: Human Sexuality and Gender Identity (2)

People to Be Loved: Why Homosexuality Is Not Just an Issue 1. “My Name Was Faggot”

Eric Borges was raised in a conservative Christian home. At a young age, Eric realized he was different, and other kids at school let him know it. He endured relentless and ongoing bullying throughout kindergarten, and the rest of his elementary school years were tarnished with horror. “I was physically, mentally, verbally, and emotionally assaulted on a daily basis,” recalls Eric. This led to chronic migraines, debilitating depression, suicidal thoughts, and a whole host of other mental and physical problems. “My name was not Eric, but Faggot. I was stalked, spit on, and ostracized.” On one occasion, he was assaulted in a full classroom, and nobody intervened, not even the teacher who was present. Throughout school, Eric was treated like a monster, a sub-species of the human race. “I was told that the very essence of my being was unacceptable. I had nowhere safe to go”—not even church.

In his sophomore year of college, Eric came out to his parents; he told them he was gay. After performing an exorcism on their son, they told him, among other things, that he was “disgusting, perverted, unnatural, and damned to hell.” Later that year, they kicked him out of the house. Eric shared his story on YouTube in 2011. In the video, he encouraged other youth who have had similar experiences that “it gets better.”1 Having suffered in a hissing cauldron of ridicule and torment, Eric wanted to help others to find comfort and hope to pull them through the pain.

One month later, Eric killed himself.

I wish Eric’s story was an anomaly, but it’s not.2 Having listened to countless testimonies and looking at startling statistics, I am disheartened to say that the Christian church has often played an unintended yet active role in pushing gay people away from Christ. Sometimes away from Christ and into the grave.

The ones who don’t kill themselves often end up leaving the church. But here’s the thing: most people who are attracted to the same sex don’t end up leaving the church because they were told that same-sex behavior is wrong. They leave because they were dehumanized, ridiculed, and treated like an “other.”

I. People to be Loved

1) Christians must be truthfully loving while also being lovingly truthful.

Jesus firmly preached repentance - Luke 5:32; 13:3-5, but sinners still flocked to him - Luke 7:36-50; 15:1; Matt. 9:9-13. Biblical truth must be firmly held, but with a loving, welcoming posture, or we are not fully Christ-like. (Sprinkle)

Luke 15:1 NET

Now all the tax collectors and sinners were coming to hear him.

2) “The most loving thing you can do for someone is tell them the truth.”

But not at every time (e.g., a car wreck). Certainly not as an excuse to vomit vocal disapproval on someone as a verbal bully.

3) Learn to “get the accents in the right place” when reading the Bible (Hays/Allberry).

II. “Big Picture” Foundations

1) Creation - The image of God was embedded within man at creation (Gen. 1:27, 30-31; Mt. 19:3-6).

a. The image is expressed in and through our biological sex (Gen. 1:27).

Genesis 1:27 NET

God created humankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them, male and female he created them.

b. “The beginning” is a model for answering “image questions” today (Mt. 19:3-6; I Cor. 6:16).

c. The image dignifies every human and demands dignified treatment of others (Gen. 9:6; “likeness” in James 3:8-10). This includes how we listen to and talk to/with/about gay friends.

James 3:8–10 NET

But no human being can subdue the tongue; it is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse people made in God’s image. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. These things should not be so, my brothers and sisters.

2) Fall - The image was distorted, but didn’t disappear, at the fall (Gen. 3). Minds and bodies are fallen.

3) Cross – The image-bearer is redeemed as she lives between the cross and resurrection.

a. Image restoration began at the cross and continues as we look to Jesus (2 Cor. 3:18).

b. Identity is reshaped by the gospel (Gal. 3:28; Eph. 2-3). You are more than your sexuality.

Galatians 3:28 NET

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female—for all of you are one in Christ Jesus.

c. Identity is shaped by and expressed in community (Matt. 10:34-39; 28:19-20). We are family.

4) Resurrection – Redemption of the body is completed at the resurrection (Rom. 8:22-25; I Cor. 6:12-20).

a. Because our bodies are God’s creation, and will be resurrected, they are good (Rom. 8).

b. Because our bodies will be resurrected, what we do with them matters (I Cor. 6:14; 18-19).

1 Corinthians 6:14 NET

Now God indeed raised the Lord and he will raise us by his power.

1 Corinthians 6:18–19 NET

Flee sexual immorality! “Every sin a person commits is outside of the body”—but the immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?

III. Specific Questions in Sexual Ethics

1) Homosexual Activity?

Can two women/two men fall in love, remain sexually pure before their wedding day, and then honor God in and by their intercourse? That’s the real question we are asking here.

a. Sodom and Gomorrah? (Gen. 19:4-11)

A text often used to hurt people. The Prophets (Jer. 23:9-14; Is. 1:1-17; Ezek. 16:44-53) and Jesus (Luke 10:1-2) saw the biggest sins of Sodom as being things other than SS sex, and the two NT authors who differ (Jude 6-10; II Pet. 2:67-14) include it among other sins, instead of singling out SS sex. Probably not a major text for this question, and one that, if used at all, should be used carefully, with sensitivity to its abuse.

b. Levitical Laws (Lev. 18:22; 20:13)

Leviticus 18:22 NET

You must not have sexual intercourse with a male as one has sexual intercourse with a woman; it is a detestable act.

Leviticus 20:13 NET

If a man has sexual intercourse with a male as one has sexual intercourse with a woman, the two of them have committed an abomination. They must be put to death; their blood guilt is on themselves.

Morally still in effect (because the other sex laws in Lev. 18-20 clearly are, and because Paul in the NT specifically reinforces these laws, in Rom. 1; I Cor. 6; I Tim. 1)., though not with the penalty. Contain a broad and general condemnation not of people but of all SS activity.

c. A Brutalized Concubine? (Judges 19:22-30)

Says little if anything about the issue.

d. Paul and the Romans (Rom. 1:24–27)

Romans 1:24–27 NET

Therefore God gave them over in the desires of their hearts to impurity, to dishonor their bodies among themselves.They exchanged the truth of God for a lie and worshiped and served the creation rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen. For this reason God gave them over to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged the natural sexual relations for unnatural ones,and likewise the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed in their passions for one another. Men committed shameless acts with men and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.

Broadly condemns all gay and lesbian SS activity.

e. Paul and his Vice Lists

SS intercourse is likely being included as sinful along with other items.

i. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11/1 Timothy 1:8–10

1 Corinthians 6:9–11 CSB

Don’t you know that the unrighteous will not inherit God’s kingdom? Do not be deceived: No sexually immoral people, idolaters, adulterers, or males who have sex with males, no thieves, greedy people, drunkards, verbally abusive people, or swindlers will inherit God’s kingdom. And some of you used to be like this. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

1 Timothy 1:8–10 CSB

But we know that the law is good, provided one uses it legitimately. We know that the law is not meant for a righteous person, but for the lawless and rebellious, for the ungodly and sinful, for the unholy and irreverent, for those who kill their fathers and mothers, for murderers, for the sexually immoral and males who have sex with males, for slave traders, liars, perjurers, and for whatever else is contrary to the sound teaching

ii. The CSB “males who have sex with males” is a clearer translation than the ESV here.

2) Cross-dressing - (Deut. 22:5)

3) Heterosexual sexual activity outside of monogamous, male-female marriage (I Thess. 4:3-8; Eph. 5:3-6; Gal. 5:18-19; Matt. 5:27-30)

a. Fornication - I Thess. 4:3-8; Eph. 5:3-6; Gal. 5:18-19

b. Lust – Matt. 5:27-30

VI. Using Key Terms Well (Matt. 12:36-37)

Biological Sex – Refers especially to physical and biological traits that distinguish between males and females. “Humans, like most species, are sexually dimorphic….To sum it up, a person is biologically either male or female based on four things: 1) Presence or absence of a Y chromosome, 2) Internal reproductive organs, 3) External sexual anatomy, 4) Endocrine systems that produce secondary sex characteristics.” (PS)

Cisgender – “Refers to those who identify (and are comfortable) with their biological sex.” (PS)

Gender – ‘The psychological, social and cultural aspects of being male or female.’ Two different categories here; First, gender identity describes the psychological aspects associated with being male or female, or ‘one’s internal sense of self as male, female, both, or neither.’ Second, gender role describes the ‘social and cultural’ aspects of being male or female, sometimes shorthanded as ‘masculinity and femininity.’ (PS)

Gender Dysphoria – A psychological term for the distress some people feel when their internal sense of self doesn’t match their biological sex. (PS) Not identical to transgender, which can be dysphoric or non-dysphoric.

Homosexual – A nebulous word you should always clarify, and only use as an adjective. Never use the word homosexual referring to people. Never as a noun, like, “Hey, look at that homosexual.” Only say homosexual when referring to concepts or things (“homosexual relationship”). Gay people usually prefer to be called gay or lesbian. The word homosexuality faces similar complexity and should also either be clarified or avoided. Don’t use transexual or transvestite. Never use the painful slurs sodomite or hermaphrodite. Jesus said words matter.

Intersex – “The condition of possessing the sexual characteristics of both sexes.” (APA) (Both, not neither, sex.)

LGBT(Q+) – The abbreviation for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, (sometimes questioning or queer). (APA)

Sexual Orientation – “One’s enduring sexual attraction to male partners, female partners, or both.” Sexual orientation may be heterosexual, same sex (gay or lesbian), or bisexual [both sexes]. (APA)

SSA – Same-sex attraction. Sometimes used to describe less strong, or less enduring, SSA than the almost synonymous term above, SS orientation. (PS)

Transgender – An umbrella term for the many ways in which people might experience and/or present and express (or live out) their gender identities differently from people whose sense of gender identity is congruent with their biological sex. It covers many different kinds of experiences. Under one corner of the umbrella might sit a male who simply doesn’t feel very masculine, and they use transgender to describe this tension. At the other corner of the umbrella is someone who has severe gender dysphoria and feels like they’ve been born in the wrong body.” (PS) Jesus avoided cookie cutters (Mat. 19:10-12), so space for unique stories is in order.

Trans* - “Since so many gender identity terms can overlap with each other, some people put an asterisk after the word trans, stylizing it as trans*, when they want to use it as broad umbrella term to include a whole range of identities that aren’t strictly transgender, such as nonbinary, genderqueer, and the like.” (PS)

Transition (Hormonally, Socially, Surgically) - Transition is the term most trans* people prefer for what is sometimes called “sex change.” Transition can include three different levels: social, hormonal, and surgical. (PS)

PS = Preston Sprinkle. APA = American Psychological Association.

V. Practical Applications

1) How should I see and treat my gay friends?

They are human beings, like you, each beautiful, amazing, unique creations of God. The image of God demands that you show them dignity, love, and compassion. Christians should have the loudest voice against mistreatment of our LGBT neighbors.

2) Is SS attraction itself sinful?

Depends on what you mean by “sin” and “attraction” (James 1:13-16).

3) Is SS sexual activity sinful?

Yes. Like other sexual sins outside of M-F marriage, SS sex is sinful.

4) Is SS sexual sin “worse” than comparable heterosexual sin?

No. This pharisaical idea can wound people.

5) Is SS sexual sin unforgivable?

No. God is gracious, forgiving no matter the sin, if repentance follows.

6) Can Christians who experience same-sex attraction refer to themselves as “gay Christians?”

Depends on what you mean. I don’t think it is wise, first, because our identity should primarily be communal. Second, because gospel identity relativizes our sexuality (Gal. 3:28). But other believers do disagree.

7) Is it a sin to feel that I am a male in a female body or a female in a male body?

No. We live in a fallen world with fallen bodies and minds and should allow that some incongruities can result.

8) If I experience gender dysphoria, is it ok to consider my gender more important than my biology in determining who I am?

This is a hard question. But I would suggest no. Scripture calls us to become who God calls us, and seems to prioritize biological sex, in how we live out his image. “Because we believe in the reality of God’s redemptive healing and sanctifying power, we do not support the resolution of tension between one’s biological sex and one’s experience of gender by the adoption of a psychological identity that seeks to change one’s given biological birth sex in favor of the identity of the opposite sex or of an indeterminate identity.” (Bridgeway Statement)

9) If I experience gender dysphoria (or call myself trans*), is it ok to transition, (socially, hormonally, or surgically)?

No. “The Bible calls us to maintain a clear, biologically rooted distinction between male and female (Gen. 1:26-27; Rom. 1:18-32).” But we must give grace and space to those wrestling with this question, love and compassion to those who have transitioned, and respect to those who disagree.

10) Is it good/bad/sin for me to “come out”?

Depends what you mean. Sin should not be celebrated. But opening up to others in community should. We need each other as a family and should never walk through hard things in isolation from others. You need to tell someone; but maybe not everyone.

11) What if a friend comes out to me?

Give them space to speak. Listen don’t react. Acknowledge their courage. Thank them for trusting you. Become their friend. Consider that this probably isn’t the time to tell them that you believe SS sex to be sin.

12) How do I tell my parents?

With patience. They probably won’t react perfectly. But you need their support. They need your honesty. The parent/child relation, even fallen, can still be good (Eph. 6:1-4).

13) “I feel so alone.”

Know that you aren’t. You are welcomed into deep, real, and loving community here. You need community. Bridgeway church needs you and your unique witness to the gospel. Like Jesus, we won’t force you into an unbiblical cookie-cutter. (Mt. 19:10-12).

For additional resources, check out these books:

· Is God Anti-Gay? And other questions about homosexuality, the Bible, and same-sex attraction, by Sam Allberry (The Good Book Company, 2013).

· Living in a Gray World: A Christian Teen’s Guide to Understanding Homosexuality by Preston Sprinkle (Zondervan, 2015).

· Embodied: Transgender Identities, the Church, and what the Bible has to Say, by Preston Sprinkle (David C. Cook, 2021). But only if you can handle heavier reading!

Check out the talk by Sam Allberry here (https://vimeo.com/166545553) where he outlines lessons for the church that he and others with SS attraction are learning. Also see Bridgeway Statements here, here, & here