A Friend of Sinners

Matthew 11:19 ESV

The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Look at him! A glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’ Yet wisdom is justified by her deeds.”

Why This Text?

Jesus began this section by asking a question:

Matthew 11:16–17 ESV

“But to what shall I compare this generation? It is like children sitting in the marketplaces and calling to their playmates, “ ‘We played the flute for you, and you did not dance; we sang a dirge, and you did not mourn.’

The people were criticizing John and Christ, for the opposite reasons.

Of John they said, “He has a demon.”

Of Jesus they said, “He is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.”

In this day, tax collectors and sinners were the most despised; and the term sinners was the accusation by those who did not see themselves as such.

Such is the heart of the Legalist - what the Legalist wants is control over others - he thinks he is quite well and healthy - others are sinners but not them.

Matthew Henry states,

There is not a greater absurdity than that which they are guilty of who have good preaching among them, and are never the better for it. It is hard to say what they are like. The similitude is taken from some common custom among the Jewish children at their play, who, as is usual with children, imitated the fashions of grown people at their marriages and funerals, rejoicing and lamenting; but being all a jest, it made no impression; no more did the ministry either of John the Baptist or of Christ upon that generation. He especially reflects on the scribes and Pharisees, who had a proud conceit of themselves; therefore to humble them he compares them to children, and their behaviour to children’s play.

John came calling men to repentance, he was in mourning over their condition, and they had to come out of the city to reach him.

Jesus comes calling men to repentance, he lamented their condition but He was among them at feasts, in the temple, among the crowds.

In both cases the voice of God is calling out to sinners via His messenger

John faithfully proclaimed repentance and faith and he was rejected.

Jesus, the Messenger whom John foretold would come, came faithfully proclaiming repentance an faith and He was rejected.

What is a Friend?

A friend can range from a casual acquaintance a person who you are intimately close to.

In technical usage a friend was one who held a position of trust.

A person with whom one shares affection and commitment; a companion or neighbor.

As I looked at how this word is used several key senses came out: for a friend we feel affection and trust, you are often around them or in conversation with them.

A friend is someone you will sacrifice for in a unique way.

A friend is someone you spend time with.

What does it mean that Christ is a friend to sinners?

At the very least, it means that he enjoys spending time with them.

It also means that they feel welcome and comfortable around him.

In Luke 15:1 we read that the tax collectors and sinner were drawing near to him.

Luke 15:1 ESV

Now the tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to hear him.

Jesus was offering something to the tax collectors and sinners that he wasn’t offering to the Scribes and Pharisees.

I am acutely aware I am friendly but I have few close friends: Christina is the closest, Thad Claggett is a dear friend but I do not see him often. I have others that I have a friendship with but do I have people who know me intimately and me them? It is a small group.

With a friend we can open up and be honest.

With a friend we can share all of our ugliness because it won’t change the relationship.

With a friend we can go to them with any problem and they will listen.

Though the crowds call him the friend of sinners as an indictment, the label is one of unspeakable comfort for those who know themselves to be sinners. That Jesus is friend to sinners is only contemptible to those who feel themselves not to be in that category.

Who Qualifies As Jesus’ Friend?

This text tells us who this is: it is the outcasts, it is the hated by this world, it is those who see themselves as wretched and wicked.

The Legalist is excluded (they think themselves quite well), they do not think they really have a need says Christ in Rev. 3:17.

Revelation 3:17 ESV

For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked.

Ortlund asks:

What if you had a friend at the center of the bull’s-eye of your relationship circle, whom you knew would never raise his eyebrows at what you share with him, even the worst parts of you? All our human friendships have a limit to what they can withstand. But what if there were a friend with no limit?

Richard Sibbes stated, “All the kinds and degrees of friendship meet in Christ.”

We eat with friends, and they with us.

This is a companion whose embrace of us does not strengthen or weaken depending on how clean or unclean, how attractive or revolting, how faithful or fickle, we presently are. The friendliness of his heart for us subjectively is as fixed and stable as is the declaration of his justification of us objectively.

How Is He A Friend?

He calls Himself a friend of sinners so how is Jesus a friend?

A true friend welcomes you

Matthew 11:28 ESV

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

A true friend pursues you

Revelation 3:20 ESV

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.

A true friend allows you to pursue them

How Should This Change My Life?

Friendships are not ignored by deepened.

When we have a friend we cannot ignore them, we have to work to deepen that relationship.’

A friend whom you fail to spend time with will decline in that relationship: you will not trust them as you once did.

How is your Bible reading and prayer life, is it suffering neglect?

Jesus is not just ANY friend

He is also our king!

He is also the Lamb with a sword that proceeds out of His mouth!

He is the Lord of Armies!

John saw Him in Rev. 1:12-16 and he fell down on his face in awe and wonder and fear.

Jesus is ever near, ever present, and ever accepting

We all feel loneliness, at times.

Prov 18:24 tells us

Proverbs 18:24 ESV

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

I consistently marvel at Heb. 2:17 and how it describes Christ.

Hebrews 2:17 ESV

Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people.

Why do you and I feel we cannot go to Him?